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can we talk about how when you try to make a relationship 'equal' between you and an abuser, they will always see it as you 'flipping the script' or 'engaging in reactive abuse' because if they aren't superior to you then they feel like you're threatening them? Like homie just saying 'Don't do this, it hurts me, every time you've done this it hurts me' and 'treat people like you want to be treated. if you're mean to me, I can be mean back' is apparently as bad as...checks notes... you beating and raping me and spreading lies about me to the public from your position of power. You don't owe your abuser the 'perfect victim. Fighting back is not something to be ashamed of.