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Sometimes the scenarios i make up in my head amaze me.
They are so beautiul, so dreamy, so perfect, so much *needed*, it makes my heart ache from the thought that they can never come true, not ever in the exact same dreamy manner as they do in my mind. I would never find that perrffectt person and never will those deliberate- indeliberate touches and talks and gazes and moments happen...
It leaves me longing and hopeless, I guess my expectations from life , at moments, become too far-fetched.
The only way out, to turn them into reality, is to-
write down the scenario,
develop a story that is actually comprehensible (paiinnnn),
write a novel,
knock doors of publishing houses,
get it published,
work to make it a bestseller,
become a filmwriter and director,
find a producer,
get external validation for script and find rest of the crew ;))
find the perfect music that goes with my fantasy,
find the handpicked perfect cast,
and make it into a adaptation movie.
(excuse the inaccuracy my process. i am not well acquainted with all this, at least not in this universe, but that is just how i imagine)
Then all my dreams *might* come true. Is it too much? or a bare neccesity for my dream to reality journey, i will never know i guess...
(this also totaly disrupts my path of pursuing STEM career, leaving another dilemma at my hand. Life just wouldnt stop being so *REAL*, now, would it ? :I Now my options are a) Reincarnation, b) discover multiverse and travel to the universe where i did write a novel and make a movie about it, by myself, and watch that.... arghh the things we do for the love of love )
this was just a thought, no self-emotions were hurt in this post (ok, maybe a few) (excruciating pain right in middle of heart, a major headache here and there.)