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painted my nails for the first time in like two years. aphrodite is helping embrace my femininity without as much dysphoria. i definitely need more practice painting tho
So I’ve been in some of the best mental space of my life. (Atleast since I can remember) for the last few weeks.
The biggest contributor to this is that I quit drinking liquor…. I was drinking way too much and I physically and mentally started to feel it take its toll on me. I was irritable, physically felt like shit, mental cobwebs, and just generally feeling like shit Ontop of that just constantly craving my next drink.
I quit, 2 weeks ago; not cold turkey, I’m still drinking a bit of wine and beer but no where even close to what I was, which was 2 bottles a week minimum for the past several years. But I haven’t touched a bit of liquor since.
Let me tell you….. what a difference. Literally all of those negatives went away after like the 4th day and now I’m feeling so good!
In the meantime, regaining a bit of self control I also haven’t pleasured myself like a “man” since I quit the liquor….
Dont worry. I’m still having regular orgasms… which is yet another bonus to my mental state.
The “sissygasms”, gods I hate that term… but I’m at a loss for another word here, are so satisfying and leaving me in a state of bliss and clarity.
Also gradually accepting that I’ll never be a specimen of femininity, so I can either just lean back into the hyper masculine “gay man”. Or try and weave in a few strands of androgyny. Of which I’m currently leaning into the latter.
I FINALLY got some jeans that fit me so well… (American eagle).
A simple task for some, but I’ve been struggling for years to find the proper fit and length as I have a 36” inseam…. Tall gurl struggles Minor thing but feels like such a huge victory!
Really just wanted to get this out, Mostly for my own reasons of sorting things out.
Time to have a smoke, a glass of wine, and catch up on some rings of power.
Hope yall have a good night!
-Jessica