Angst/comfort - Blog Posts

Hi, I really like your work with Sanji! Can I request a fanfic where the reader is a person who didn't get love from his parents as a child, but only money? The reader is a woman, if anything! How the reader will try to show her love to Sanji is your choice! Thanks in advance!

This was a bit hard at first but I ended up getting into it eventually. It might've turned out a little more angsty than I thought but I felt like it worked really well. If you aren't at 1053 i'm really sorry I put it in there bc it worked really well too.

Insecure Love

Sanji x Fem Reader. Angst/comfort and some fluff. Major Spoilers for episode 1053. 2740 words.

Sanji adores you, you’re perfect to him. Beautiful, amazing, talented, everything. You are the best woman he could ever wish for. Sometimes he even lays awake at night thinking of the memories the two of you have made, goofy smile on his face he’s so enamored. There is one problem though, just a teensy one, you’re not at all affectionate. You don’t stop him from being affectionate to you, but you don’t exactly reciprocate or initiate. Instead, you give him gifts, which was nice at first but he started to feel a bit conflicted about it the more it happened. He would rather get love from you rather than a material good you’d bought somewhere. What’s worse is that the gifts have stopped, it’s almost always just money now.

“Here.” You say blankly to Sanji while he’s cooking, handing him cash. He spots you and his eyes trail to the berri in your hand, a small frown on his face. “Is it not enough?” He jolts and quickly shakes his head.

“No, that isn’t it. Thank you.” He forces a smile and takes it, pain in his chest. Your boyfriend tries so hard to make you feel loved, cooking for you, complimenting you, showing physical affection, but all you do is hand him cash like payment for a service; like his love was simply something nice you pay him for. He’s tried refusing it before but you had gotten upset, putting it away with a sad expression until he agreed to take it. Now you look at him as he pockets it, telling himself he’ll use it to buy ingredients for a dish you’ll like. After he puts it in his pocket he hugs you, kissing you for a bit before pulling away. “I’m going to finish cooking soon, my love, would you like to stay here?” His eyes are expectant, hoping you’ll stay, but you shake your head.

“I’ll leave you to it, you should focus.” With that, you leave him alone in the kitchen. He looks at the ingredients he was chopping, the money you gave him weighing down his heart. Is this really so one-sided? Has he just been bothering you this entire time? Maybe he’s just a toy you can play with, a music box that sings for you when you put money inside. Those thoughts crowd his head as he cooks until he accidentally lifts a hot lid with his bare hand, burning his skin; but before he can go to treat it... it heals on its own. The cook grits his teeth, clenching his fist. What a creepy ability. He puts his head in his hands and takes deep breaths, it’s okay, he loves you, you’re still together.

“Are you alright?” Robin asks him as he sets food down in front of the girls, including you, completely spaced out.

“Oh, sorry Robin-chan.” He snaps out of it and smiles at her. “I’m doing okay.” The cook leaves to serve the rest of the crew, steps noticeably heavier than normal. The women watch this, then look to you.

“Did you two argue or something? What’d he do?” Nami asks, ready to defend you, but you shake your head.

“I don’t know, I thought he was okay earlier, I handed him money and he accepted like normal.” You’re confused, and they both look at eachother.

“Like normal..?” Nami asks again.

“Yeah, I’ve been giving my allowance to him since we started dating. I know he sometimes struggles with food budget so I like helping out.” You explain and the two girls stare at you.

“(Y/n) what have you been doing so far in your relationship with Sanji?” Robin questions you and you start to talk, explaining that you’ve been getting him gifts since you both started dating; but you ran out of ideas on what to give him so you’ve started to give him money when he makes you happy.

“Wow…That’s horrible.” The navigator states, starting to pity Sanji.

“Like a sugar baby?” Your jaw drops slightly at Robin’s comparison and you quickly shake your head.

“A sugar baby!?” You’re shocked but start to think about it. “Wait, is that what he wants?”

“Obviously not!” The navigator snaps at your obliviousness. “He basically collapses the moment a woman does something for him but you’ve just been giving him money?”

“Wouldn’t you like that though?” You point out and she frowns.

“That’s different.” She considers money an okay gift for her, though even she would get annoyed if she had a lover that would only give her money and ignore anything else. “Plus you hardly show him affection, I thought it was just your guys’ thing so I didn’t say anything but you’re clearly bumming him out.”

“I haven’t refused anything from him though, and I don’t get mad at him for flirting with other women.” The navigator sighs, mentally facepalming, this isn’t working out. You’re too oblivious and Sanji’s too much of an idiot to tell anyone something’s wrong, much less a woman he loves. Robin comes up with something.

“Tomorrow you should come to our room at noon. We’ll assist you” You tilt your head, confused, but agree.

That night, Sanji heads to bed still sad and only getting worse. He can’t sleep, he’s been having trouble doing so since that happened. ‘She was there, she must’ve seen.’ An unnatural thing, becoming the same type of monster he always despised. You must’ve fallen out of love with him, that’s it. He can’t blame you, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t digging a hole into his chest. He curls up into a ball on his bed, grasping at the sheets next to him like you’ll be there.

_________________

The next morning goes as it usually does on the Sunny. Sanji wakes up early to make breakfast for everyone and when they wake up it’s time to eat. The difference now is that Sanji seems off, tired, he doesn’t yell at Luffy or Zoro and his happy comments towards Robin and Nami aren’t enthusiastic. When he sets down your plate in front of you you look up at him, trying to scan his face if he’s sick. He awakened late so it would make sense if his Germa genes weren’t as strong, maybe he’s gotten sick? You’re worried and so is everyone else, except Luffy who doesn’t notice until after eating. He almost says something but is promptly elbowed so he keeps shut. He means well but mentioning it right now will make things worse, plus, the girls have a plan.

Afternoon finally strikes and you walk into the shared girls room, they aren’t there. 'Maybe I came too early?’ You think to yourself, checking the time to make sure it’s noon. Suddenly you hear footsteps and the door opens, revealing Robin, Nami, and your boyfriend. They push him inside and he spots you, looking shocked; but before he could ask what’s going on the door closes. He tries the doorknob but it’s locked, switched so the lock is on the outside.

“Don’t even try unlocking the door or breaking it down. You aren’t allowed out until you two communicate.” Nami states and footsteps are heard fading away. You stare at Sanji’s back, his hands on the wooden door. Does he not want to be with you alone with you this much? Usually he’d be excited to have time to spend with you.

“Is something wrong?” You ask him and the cook turns quickly, not prepared for this. He isn’t ready yet! He still needs to prepare his heart for the breakup and practice his apologies for you falling out of love. “Sanji..” You reach a hand out to him and he flinches, pressing his back against the wall like he’s afraid of you. He’s scared to be touched by you, scared that when you feel his skin you’ll retract from fear and disgust from the steel-like flesh. It isn’t right, these misunderstandings cause pain and you bite your bottom lip. What are you doing wrong, what did Nami mean by saying what you were doing was horrible? You step away from him and turn around, the both of you too insecure to speak. Fortunately, being trapped in this room will force you to.

‘She can’t even bear to look at me.’ Negativity clouds his judgment, irrational thoughts filling his mind. “I’m sorry.” An apology, it sounds guilty. This must be a sign.

‘He’s breaking up with me…’ There’s too much stress, him avoiding you, being told something is wrong, and now this breakup. The dam of stone formed by the years of trauma starts to crack, tears dripping from your eyes. Sanji doesn’t see it, but he can hear your shaky breaths. It causes his eyes to widen and his worry for you overpowers his instinct to pull away.

“Mon cœur!?” Your lover walks to you and scans your teary face, his hands cupping your cheeks.

“You don’t have to call me that,” His heart breaks, you’re breaking up with him so he would have to stop calling you that. Your next words confuse him, though. “I know you don’t want to.” …He doesn’t want to? Sanji blinks a few times, why would he ever not want to call his everything what she is?

“What are you talking about? I-”

“Stop forcing yourself!” You yell and he jolts. “It must’ve been hard. Your love for women made you stay with me for so long but I know you don’t love me. Being hesitant about my gifts, not talking to me as much, and you're starting to look tired too.” You step back and put your face in your hands. “You must be staying up late thinking about how you could break up with me.” He stands there, shocked. Him… breaking up with you? The perfect woman completely out of his league? Tears flow from your eyes faster and he tries to make sense of it all, his brain so focused on his own faults that the thought of you being insecure of yours is unable to cross his mind.

“Do you mean the berri you’ve been giving me?” He manages to put together and you nod. He continues to think. “You… it wasn’t payment to you?” He doesn’t know what else to call it so he settles with that word.

“Payment?” You wipe your eyes and sniffle. “Is that why you’ve been staying with m-”

“No, nonono of course not. I thought..” Sanji quickly interrupts you, stopping that thought. This is different from what he thought was going to happen, but it still hurts to speak his mind when it only reminds him of what’s wrong, well what he thinks is wrong. “I thought you were giving me those things as payment because you didn’t want to pay attention to me. So I wouldn’t bother you, that my love was just a transaction.” He says the last part more quietly and your heart drops. This is familiar, you’ve felt this exact way before when you were young. Going to your parents for love and only getting money in return to shut you up and get you away. You start to shake and cry harder.

“I-I, I didn’t know. I’m sorry..!” You’re just like them, but Sanji doesn’t care; hugging you.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” He’s already forgiving you and you haven’t even explained anything.

“No, it’s n-not okay.” You say while shaking your head, it’s nerve-wracking to talk about your past but you choose to. For him. “I… I thought I was doing the right thing. That I was different from my parents who would give me things instead of love, I always made sure t-to never tell you to go away or reject you but I ended up making you feel the exact same way I did!” You pull away and cover your face. “I’m horrible!”

‘The same way she did?’ He processes what you said, what’s happening. The struggle of trying so hard to be different from family only to end up like them is something he knows as well. His hand goes to his chest, pressing down and feeling almost completely dense skin instead of the regular squish of flesh; just like his brothers. “You don’t think I’m a monster…” You quickly shake your head. “Why didn’t you say so? Are you sure- I mean you never wanted to be with me!” Whenever he was cooking or if he went shopping you would just give him money and wave him off.

“I..” You think about that, then start to get embarrassed. “I didn’t want to bother you, what if I get overly clingy and get you mad?” Sanji hears this and it’s like weight has been dropped from his heart, but hearing you say this so insecurely still makes him slowly sink to the ground. “Sanji?”

“Bother me.. being clingy.” Gods, he would do anything to have you cling to him when he’s cooking or shopping. “You could never, ever, not in an eternity, ever bother me by being ‘clingy’”

“But don’t you get busy? You work so hard cooking and when you’re out shopping you’re talking with women, wouldn’t I make it awkward if I butted in?” He hangs his head in shame, the few times that you’ve agreed to go shopping he has flirted with other women; but he had assumed you didn’t care. In a way, he would do it on purpose hoping to get a reaction, even looking back at you. Anything to show a sign you loved him, that he wasn’t a toy, but all he was doing was making things worse. This lack of communication was only causing pain to you both. How could he ever make this up to you? He was already unworthy and now he had dared to cause such suffering to the love of his life. “Baby…” You crouch down and cup his face so he’s looking at you, his eyes are teary.

“I hurt you.”

“We ended up hurting each other.” You wipe his tears with your thumbs. “Do you still want to be with me? Even if I've been messing up?”

“I should be the one asking you that, treasure. My love.” Sanji hugs you, pulling you close to him so you’re on his lap. You can feel his hesitance, the fear that you’ll pull away because he’s different now, but you don’t. Instead you press closer to him, lifting your head up to look at him. You don’t really initiate kisses, so you’re nervous as you place your lips on his. He’s only shocked for a moment before he kisses back, resting his hand on the back of your neck. This is the longest series of kisses you’ve had, almost a minute before you have to pull away. “S-Sorry, I’ve gotten better at holding my breath lately.” A bit awkward it’s from something he dislikes, though.

“So I don’t have to worry if I kiss you alot?” You ask and his pupils basically turn to hearts.

“No, you don’t.” Before you two can kiss again there’s the sound of the door unlocking, making you quickly get off of Sanji’s lap as he stands up so Robin and Nami don’t see you in an awkward position. They almost think that nothing has happened but seeing the two of you clearly panicked changes their mind, making Robin smile.

“It went well, then?” Robin chuckles happily as the two of you flush. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

_______________

Sanji hums as he cooks, a good mood from making up with you so amazingly. His ears perk up when he hears you come inside, not needing to look to know it’s you. “I’m almost done, my love.” He states as he expertly flips a steak. You don’t say anything, which confuses him but before he can turn around he feels your arms wrap around him and your body press against his back. His girlfriend, who hasn’t shown real affection until yesterday, is clinging to him while he cooks. Is this a dream?

“Don’t turn around, I’m still a little shy.” You say quietly and it echoes in his mind. Shy… shy… Gods, you’re too cute. His face goes red and he falls to the side, blood seeping from his nose. “Sanji!?” You manage to stop him from slamming fully onto the ground, shaking him. He’s in heaven, this is heaven.

This took long because I was writing it and got into it and was like "oh damn this writing is kinda fire" but then it was too fire and I had to edit everything else to work. Also forgot to respond to the ask itself so i put a picture.

Roots of Suffering

Zoro x Female!Reader. Tw: Migraines, Angst with happy ending, violence, some gore and body horror (i think thats what its called) 5371 words.

You and Zoro sit next to each other in the crow’s nest, him meditating while you read. There’s no need for you two to speak to feel connected, simply spending time together like this is more than enough. It’s only when you finish another chapter that you realize you’ve been reading for hours, even before Zoro’s began meditating. You’re thirsty, he must be too, when you had first started reading he was training. This works out, you had begun to lose focus anyway, maybe you’d just been reading for too long. ‘I’ll get us both some water’ You think to yourself as you move to get up, freezing when you feel a familiar pressure in the side of your head. You must've been too focused on the book to pay attention. This is unfortunate, you didn’t have time to mentally prepare yourself this time, dread weighing you down. In one last action of hope you put your hand there, maybe it’s just a bug bite or the flesh there fell asleep; but you’re met with nothing. Nothing you can do now except brace yourself with what little time you have. You look back towards your boyfriend, meditating, he’s more focused than usual. You’ll just quickly make your way to Chopper and-

STAB

Your eye pricks and throbs in pain, as if a shard of glass made its way behind it. Before you can try and take another step you feel an arm pull you back. “Sit. You’ll just make it worse.” A quiet voice, Zoro. He sets you down onto the ground and stands up, turning off the lights and shutting the curtains before going back to you. It helps, but your head hurts, and it’s only getting worse. Everything is getting smaller and your brain is growing. You haven’t had one in a while, why now? Why couldn’t it be when you were near Chopper or when Zoro wasn’t so focused. You ruined it, you’re a burden, that thought embeds into your brain like the roots of suffering that grow to press against your shrinking skull. Seeping the poison of negativity as it worms through your head. Again and again, this parasitic plant fishes in the back of your eye, trying to force its way out. It's useless, you weren’t careful enough and now you’re paying the price. A warm hand goes to the side of your neck “Breathe.” A deep voice tells you, only realizing then that you were struggling. At this rate you’ll only end up making things worse. Despite the throbbing pressure in your skull you manage to force yourself to breathe, counting seconds in your head to assist you. “I’m going to Chopper.” Zoro whispers, trying to keep his words to a minimum. You want him to stay, but this is for the best. These can last longer than you would be able to handle even with Zoro’s comfort. Keeping his footsteps quiet, he goes to the door. You cover your eyes to avoid the sunlight, only opening them again when it closes. You’re alone now, you have to keep yourself stable until he’s back. One hand on your chest, another on your stomach as you close your eyes.

Breathe in

1..2..3..4

Hold

1..2..3..4

Breathe out

1..2..3..4

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It’s okay, you’ve been through these before, it will pass just as the others have. Repeat, the door opens, repeat, two sets of footsteps make their way to you. Your breathing is a cycle the same your suffering is, your pain and your attempts to manage it circling around each other as you fight to keep sane. Chopper does not speak, he doesn’t need to, you know how this will go. He gently rubs where he’ll put the compress, then puts it to your skin. It’s cold, but you stay calm, relax your muscles even if you want to tense instinctively. Zoro sits at your other side, his presence a comfort. He’s unsure if he could touch you, but you reach out and grab his hand. You don’t need the hands on your body anymore, especially as the pain numbs slightly with Chopper’s care. Once the reindeer seems satisfied that you’re calm he pulls out a triptan. Nasal spray, good since you don’t need to swallow anything nor feel any injection that could cause stress, lord knows you don’t need more of that. He taps your arm to signify that he’s going to use it and you relax as much as you can. The nozzle goes into your nose and you breathe in gently. It’s done, this is all that he can do right now. He puts the medicine away and strokes your arm, trying to comfort you. Everything is on you now, you just have to endure until it sets in. You’re safe, you have your boyfriend on one side and a caring friend on your other. The minutes pass and the pain dulls, you take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.” Is the first thing you say.

“It’s fine.” Zoro responds. Two words but the tone of his voice, the fact that he’s still keeping his voice soft, reassures you. You wish you didn’t have to deal with this, but you don’t have that ability. The privilege of having people that care is enough for you, it’s enough. Chopper is patient as he stays with you, making sure to check your pulse every so often; he even brought a bag just in case you throw up. Zoro goes back to meditating, but half of his focus is on you, one of his hands still holding yours. The hours pass, Sanji comes in quietly with some food. He doesn’t argue with Zoro, nor does he fawn over you, he sets the plates down for all 3 of you so you can eat; then leaves. Like before, it passes. The food helped, even if you felt nauseous your body still needed it, Sanji’s a good cook. You take a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief, about to apologize again when Zoro squeezes your hand.

“Don’t.” He states and you sigh again, keeping your mouth shut.

“I’m gonna put the lights to dim so you can get used to it again, is that okay?” Chopper asks as he gets up.

“..Yeah.” You hesitate slightly but you aren’t new to this, you can handle it. Franky installed lighting options for this, Chopper turns the lights on to a nice dimness while you close your eyes. You slowly open them, getting used to it. The painful part has passed and you stand up and peek outside. It’s night, you’ve kept them both inside all day. “I’m sorry Chopper, you must’ve wanted to do other things.” Zoro could handle being still, he at least used the time to meditate, though less efficiently; but Chopper usually liked to play during the day and he couldn’t do anything productive in the dark. The reindeer shakes his head.

“Mm, it’s okay. Making sure the crew is healthy is part of my role as doctor.” He smiles. “Making sure you’re okay makes me happier than playing.” An angel, Chopper must be an angel sent from above to care for pitiful beings of the Earth.

“Thank you, I always feel a lot better when you’re helping me.” You pat his head and he sheepishly giggles. Seeing him like this cheers you up, especially when you’re starting to feel bummed out. An arm wraps around your waist and Zoro picks you up. “I can walk by myself.”

“I know.” He yawns and holds you close, bridal style. You look to Chopper for help in convincing him but the reindeer just seems happy that you’re well enough to be stubborn.

“I’ll bring water over to your room.” With that the doctor runs off, leaving you in Zoro’s arms.

“Let me down Zoro, I’m not a baby that needs help walking.” You start to argue but Zoro just hums and walks out of the crow’s nest, heading to the women’s room. “Don’t open it yet, knock.”

“I know, I know.” He grumbles, holding you in one arm easily and knocking with the other. The door opens to Robin, Nami sleeping in the background. She notices your state and smiles warmly. She’s considerate though, refraining from chuckling at your state and instead stepping to the side so Zoro can come in.

“Are you sure he can come in?” You ask, looking at the sleeping navigator.

“She won’t mind if he simply comes in for a moment. Unless you’d like him to stay here?” Robin asks and Zoro perks up at being able to watch over you.

“No, it’s alright.” You shut it down immediately and he puts you down on your bed, displeased. “I don’t want to wake Nami to ask her, Zoro.”

“So what, she could just go back to sleep after.” He huffs and you sigh.

“If you’re feeling unwell during the night you can wake me, I can go retrieve him for you.” Robin suggests, once again a crewmate is making a sacrifice for you.

“I…” You look at the both of them, you’d like to argue but if you don’t agree it’ll only worry them more; so you nod. They seem pleased with that and Robin goes back to her own bed.

“Rest easy, Zoro.” The archaeologist tells him.

“I’ll leave it to you, then.” He trusts Robin, she’s alert, so he’s satisfied with that; even if he’d rather you let him stay here. You watch as the swordsman leaves, sighing. It feels so helpless, you train to get stronger and stronger yet you’re still so weak the moment your migraines come. It’s like you haven’t gotten stronger at all, stuck at the bottom due to something you can’t control, having to rely on crewmates to be able to function. You almost wish they would be harsher to you, maybe it would toughen you up; though you know it doesn’t work that way. A hand blooms on your shoulder and caresses the side of your defective head before covering your eyes.

“Sleep.” Robin says from her bed and you decide to listen, what other choice do you have? It’s not like you could stay up without only worsening your condition and causing even more burden on everyone. Your eyes close, the exhaustion from everything crashing down on you.

_____________

It’s not too surprising you’re in a bad mood. You’ve been stubborn from the start, the irritation coming from migraines only worsening it. Another cycle, you survive what comes to torment you. only for the aftereffects to still haunt you. Now you sit on the deck, sunglasses protecting your eyes. You tried to stay inside but couldn’t handle being alone with your thoughts. Luffy catches a ball, almost bumping into you. “Woah, got it.” He looks back at you, making sure he didn’t accidentally kick you, then goes back to playing ball with Franky using a machine that shoots the ball out. Irritation, anger, it festers in your heart and wants you to yell at Luffy to apologize.

'Control yourself, he didn’t even hit you.’ You tell your mind as you clench your jaw. You came outside to be with people, not to lash out at them. Control, you are not your condition, you are a person capable of making choices that are not a result of pain out of your control. Control, take the reins of what you can, that’s the only thing you can do. Keep yourself stable, lessen the burden on people around you, there’s no use in fighting a battle you can’t win. A battle where you can only lose. A fight that will never end.

Breathe in

1..2..3..4

Hold

1..2..3..4

Breathe out

1..2..3..4

Repeat, just as you always have. Again, and again, the cycle of stress, pain, and torment. It’s okay, you’re yourself, you have to be, even if it piles up. Days pass. Ignore the tendrils pressing their way through the wrinkles of your brain and down your neck, the pressure behind your eye, in your skull. This is your normal.

“Marines!” You hear Usopp yell out, your eyes snapping open in the middle of another breathing session you had been working on in preparation for another coming migraine. You stand, this is fine.

“Ah! Wait!” Chopper goes to you. “You’re-”

“It’s fine, I’m in prodrome, I can deal with this much.” Before the doctor can protest you’re already gone, having jumped to one of the marine ships to fight. It’s loud, but not unbearable, especially with the safety of your crew in mind. It’s working, you can deal with this as normal. You are in contro-

BANG

A gun is shot, and you dodge the bullet, but that isn’t what is hurting you. Sound. Your breath falters, your ears are ringing. It was shot at close range. Your stomach lurches, poison in your mind affecting your body as you break into a cold sweat. No, no no. This isn’t how this was supposed to go, you’re in control. You grab the marine by the head and slam it into the railing of the ship, killing him. It’s okay, you can still fight, it’s okay. You’ll breathe, you can breathe. Even when you feel pain in your head, migraine advanced by the gunshot, you can breathe.

Breathe in

1..2..3..4

10 marines down, you’ll sink the ship to take care of the rest. Then you can go back to the Sunny and rest.

Hold

1..2..3..4

Breathe out

1..2..3..4

You run down into the ship, you may not be able to take down a ship with a single slice but that doesn’t matter. Once you’re deep enough you can do enough damage to sink it. Raising your weapon up you swing down, splitting down the ship until water begins to flow from below. Done, you run out onto the deck and pain throbs, slowing you down. You have a few minutes before it completely sinks, it’s okay.

Breathe in

1..2..3..4

Hold

1..2..3..4

Breathe out

…

...?

Something is blocking your throat. You look down, seeing a blade protruding from your chest, then ripped out by the marine behind you. Blood pours out from your body into your lungs up your esophagus, red staining your lips as you cough red. You can’t breathe. Stepping forward, drowning, you struggle. Funny, blood, yet another lifeforce meant to keep you alive, is killing you. Pain in life, and pain in death, your body destroys itself. Ah.. the spot of green you see barely registers in your mind. Everything is dark.

__________

Zoro stares down at you, time stopped at the sight of your unconscious body. “No nononono.” He picks you up and you cough out blood, panic fills him. ‘She can’t die, she can’t.’ He turns you on your side, but blood is filling your lungs too fast for it to help. He realizes the ship is sinking and turns to the Sunny, he failed you, he can’t save you as a swordsman like this. Desperate legs propel him back to the Sunny. The battle had already been won, if only he got there a bit sooner, noticed quicker that you had gone despite your migraine signs.

Luffy is the first to notice, his haki alerting him. It makes his own blood run cold and he turns to the rest. “(Y/n)’s hurt!” He yells, then runs inside the ship to get Chopper, who’d been grabbing medicine for your migraine. Robin acts, a mouth blooming in the reindeer’s medical room.

“(Y/n)’s been injured.” She alerts him right as Zoro lands on the deck of the Sunny. “Luffy is coming to you, grab what you need for-” She looks to you and notices the wound, biting down on the inside of her cheek to stay calm. “stab wound, punctured the lung and through the other side of her body.” Zoro sets you down, using his bandana to try to apply pressure onto your wound. Meanwhile Chopper grabs everything he needs before Luffy bursts into the room and grabs him to run back to you. Chopper is set on the ground and immediately gets to work, ignoring the panic in his mind that his friend is dying in front of him. Zoro moves back, staring at you, then down at his bloody hands and bandana. He couldn’t do anything, he wasn’t there. If only he were there, he could’ve saved you from this. When he joined this ship he told himself he was a protector that would keep everyone alive, safe, that he would be there to stop even death itself. He looks to you, tube in your wound and Chopper taking blood from your throat so you can breathe. You’re pale, just as Kuina was in her casket, dead because he wasn’t there; because she was alone just as you were. Once you can be moved he helps you to Chopper’s clinic, the door shut in front of him so that the doctor can focus completely.

___________

It hurts. Is this the afterlife? You knew that you weren’t the best person in the world but to think even the afterlife would be painful, this is hell. Maybe you should just relax … that feels better. The pain is fading now, along with the memories of everyone. Your crewmates, and your boyfriend.

‘Zoro…’ That spot of green you saw must’ve been him. He must’ve seen you in such a bad state, you died in front of him. Even if he showed it in a different way, you know he loves you. He’d be heartbroken if you died, the others would too. You start to feel pain in your body again, it’s horrible, but you need to get up. This is not how you will die.

Bright, your eyes struggle to adjust as you look around and spot blue and pink. It jolts and starts to run around, your chest hurts. It makes you flinch and the figure stops. Syllables turn to words as you come to.

“(y/n).... (Y/n)..!” Your vision focuses as Chopper whisper-yells. You look at him and his eyes widen, then start to glisten as he bursts into tears. “Y-You’re awake!” He trembles, sobbing. “You’re awake, you’re alive!” Realizing his volume, he covers his mouth. “s-sorry..” You should comfort him.

“..iT’s o..ay..” Your voice is raspy and strained, not very reassuring. You try to get up but little hooves stop you.

“Stop, don’t move, or speak.” He’s still nervous, checking that your movement didn’t damage any stitches and bloody the bandages around your chest. “Just don’t do anything. You didn’t listen to me before and now you’re l-like this.” He starts to cry again. “So y-you better listen this time..! Hic..” His hooves go to his eyes to wipe away tears, the stress he’s been holding in to focus on you finally coming out. You relax your body, letting yourself lay back but moving your hand just a bit to pat Chopper’s head.

“mkAy..” Your voice cracks, and you stay silent now as the little reindeer cries. Once he’s done he sniffles and starts to speak after giving you a glass of water, saying that you’ve been asleep for a week. The only reason you survived is from Chopper’s insight to have everyone on the ship give blood for emergencies, so he had your blood bags.

“If I didn’t have them…” He trails off and you smile at him, you can’t speak yet but you can still show you’re alive. Your reassurance works this time and he calms down. “Oh!” He remembers something. “Now that you’re awake, I’ll go get Zoro.” He checks up on your vitals quickly, then goes to the door and opens it. “You can come in now, ah! No, not everyone. Turns! She just woke up!” Chopper changes into Muscle Point, pushing so that everyone comes in pairs. You expect to see Zoro first, but he isn’t there. Instead it’s Luffy and Sanji. The cook, expectedly, bows at the bed and begins apologizing for ever allowing a woman to get hurt so badly. Luffy stays silent during this, instead choosing to just be close to you. He stares at your bandaged chest.

“You’re okay.” The captain states, and you nod. Maybe you aren’t completely fine but you’re alive. “When you’re better we can eat and joke together again, okay?” Luffy trusts Chopper, he knows you’ll be alright with his care. Still.. “Listen next time.” seeing you with blood running down your face and pouring from your chest, it doesn’t feel good. “I have to, and I’m the captain, so you definitely have to.” With that he gives you a big smile, you give him one back and Luffy leaves. Sanji, calmer now, stands.

“Marimo’s not eating, I know he doesn’t deserve it but if you could, get him to eat.” He falters when you stare at him. “Just because it’s a huge hassle to have to cook only for him not to eat it, I couldn’t care less otherwise.” He quickly makes his leave after, but not before fawning over you on the way out. Nami and Usopp are next, Nami.. looks kinda rough. Her eyes are red, she’s been crying. She stomps over to your bed and bites her top lip, very clearly ready to scold you.

“Y-You’re an idiot, I hope you know that.” Her voice is shaky. “I can’t believe you would do something so stupid, as if you were invincible.” Her orange eyes start to well up with tears and she turns around to hide it. Usopp reaches a hand to comfort her but she slaps it away, he decides to leave it but she grabs his hand and puts it on her shoulder, changing her mind.

“I don’t know what you were thinking 100% but I get wanting to… be brave.” He mumbles “Still, what you did was insane.” To be honest he doesn’t really know what to say. Usopp’s done some pretty stupid stuff sometimes, and failed, so he’d feel really hypocritical just telling you boldly never to do that again. “People get worried about you, really worried.” Nami nods, still conflicted between wanting to scold you until she’s satisfied and wanting to cry that you’re alive while hugging you. You pat the bed next to you, trying to get her attention. She looks back and you smile at her, nodding. It makes her tremble and she walks over to you.

“I’m sending you a bill of all the ointments and tissues I’ve used crying because of you.” Nami wipes her eyes. “But, I’m glad you’re okay.” Her hand goes to yours, holding it for a moment before she turns and leaves. Usopp stands there for a moment, then leaves too. You notice his eyes are a little swollen as well before he’s gone. Robin and Brook come in next, they both look calm compared to the others. Brook’s eyes land on you and you start to hear rattling. Oh, he’s shaking.

“(Y/n)-san I'm so glad you’re alive, yohohoho!!” Tears stream from his eyes as he runs to you, held back by Robin by the back of his suit jacket.

“We’re all glad you’re alive.” She walks over to you calmly. “It was gruesome seeing blood fill your lungs and out of your mouth like a sad hose, but it’s fortunate knowing you didn’t have to die such a painful death.” You aren’t sure if you should be happy she seems normal or not, considering her words; but at least she isn’t sobbing. Robin, on the other hand, doesn’t mind disturbing you as long as it scares you enough you don’t do this again. They don’t stay for too long though, they want you to rest; Brook does promise to play you something soft once you recover more though.

“WAHHH (Y/N)-” Franky cries loudly as he walks in but is quickly shushed by Jinbe with a pat on the shoulder. Your friends are quite emotional. “R-Right, sorry.” Your ears hurt for a moment but it’s okay. You don’t even feel a migraine at the moment, they really don’t need to be so quiet. Everyone must be still on edge and trying to be safe rather than sorry, a migraine during early recovery would be miserable. “I made this for you, I know you’re still against becoming a cyborg so this isn’t anything that’s implanted.” He hands you something, a pair of headphones. “I’d been working on them for a while, but I…” He tears up again and falls to the ground dramatically. “You seemed to be doing okay so I put it off. I’m sorry.” You flip the headphones around in your hands while Jinbe stares at you. It’s… kind of intense.

“I’m not going to ask you to apologize or repent for your choice, you’ve faced the consequences without such a thing, but I hope this experience teaches you that rash decisions made alone result in nothing but pain.” The fishman states, stabbing you right in the conscience. Franky looks up, wiping his eyes. He doesn’t disagree, in fact he nods and stands.

“I already changed the lighting in the ship for you, everyone cares about you. If you’re struggling then ask for help, nothing super about going in alone with no reason to.” He shakes his head. “No, you were stupid.” You’re getting scolded more by the both of them than anyone else at this point. “The headphones will help, you don’t have to use them all the time but promise me you will use them. I’ve made them to muffle loud noises while letting you hear people talk. So you better listen, got it?” Franky’s serious, and you nod. “Super, now get rest and convince Zoro to stop acting like he’s a cyborg.” He’s bothered, and Jinbe nods. Before they both leave Jinbe gives you one last look, worry and disappointment, but trust that you’ll do better from now on. A few moments pass before Chopper is back inside, he looks to the doorway with a smile.

“Come in.” Silence, Chopper makes an angry face. “Come in!” Finally, a familiar swordsman walks inside, though he looks tired. The doctor seems satisfied now and hops a little. “I’ll be outside, you two talk! I got you this.” He runs over to you and hands you a notebook and marker, then runs outside. “No arguing.” Zoro’s silent. “Zoro’s been getting tired more easily because he doesn’t eat, too!” At this your boyfriend reacts, turning.

“You didn’t need to say that!” He barks but Chopper stands his ground, giving Zoro eyes as he leaves the room. “Cuter when he isn’t nagging about my health.”

“He’s worried about you.” You write and show him, but Zoro just scoffs.

“I’m not the one who needs to be worried about, missing some meals isn't going to kill me.” You notice him clenching his fist, wishing you could properly speak, but you aren’t confident you’d be able to keep quiet if you start speaking. “Are you.. really so bad you can’t speak?” You’re snapped out of your thoughts by Zoro’s voice, he sounds dejected. When you look at him there's a hurt expression on his face.

“I can speak a little, I just can’t be loud.” He reads this and seems slightly relieved.

“Don’t trust yourself not to yell at me, I get it.” Your boyfriend starts but instead of letting you write he continues. “I messed up, so focused on some small fries that I let you get hurt. I can’t even yell at you for being stupid because I’m the one who should’ve been paying attention.” He isn’t letting you respond. “Fuck I’m such a shit boyfriend, keep trying to protect everyone on the crew but almost letting my girlfriend die because I was too cocky. I keep messing up over and over and I can’t even do anything for you. I can’t treat you or play you music or even cook something comforting like curly brow. All I have is protecting you and I didn’t even do that-”

“Zoro!” You yell, then clutch at your chest as your lung throbs. He stops talking and crouches down to check your chest.

“Dammit, you just told me you couldn’t yell, are you trying to hurt yourself more!?” He gently feels the bandages around your chest. “I’ll go get Chopper-” Before he can leave you grab his wrist. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t need.. Chopper. Need you.” He scowls like he got bit from your words.

“You need someone who can care for you.” Your lover mumbles, looking away in shame. You tug on his wrist and he looks back at you, vulnerable, taking your sign to walk closer and sit on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t do that, I didn’t do anything. Not when you were stabbed and not when you were dying in front of my eyes. Even when you were in this room I couldn’t help Chopper, I don’t have that much medical knowledge. All I could do was watch as my girlfriend was dying in front of me, hoping that whatever happened that you would at least be alive.” He can’t meet your eyes, not like this. The hand on his wrist trails up his arm, he hates it all. He hates how dead you looked, how unhealthy you look now, and he hates himself for letting this happen.

“Zoro.” Your strained voice speaks and you move your hand to his cheek, gently moving his head to look at you. “It’s not your fault, and I’m not dead.” He presses his lips together and puts his hand on yours, kissing your palm as his thumb goes to check your pulse. It’s weaker than he wants, it hurts his heart, but at least yours is beating. He gives your palm another kiss, then your pulse point, up your arm until his are ever so gently holding you close to him. Like you’ll shatter with even the slightest pressure. He doesn’t speak, neither of you do, even when you feel wetness on your shoulder. You just wrap your arms around him as well, just as gently while your hand rubs his back soothingly.

“I love you.” He finally says after a few minutes pass, he doesn’t say it very often. When he saw you drowning in your own blood it was one of the things he regretted.

“I love you too.” You press a kiss to his head. He won’t let this happen again, he’ll protect you, physically, emotionally, anything.

____________

“Ah- Wait!” Zoro pulls you into his lap, placing the food in front of you. “You don’t need to do all of this, Chopper said I'm healed enough to eat on my own. I didn’t even need it to begin with.” He puts the chopsticks to your mouth.

“Eat.” Your boyfriend states.

“I get worrying but why are you going this far.” You grumble, adamant you don’t need this.

“Because I love you, now eat.” You freeze, so does everyone else who heard. Zoro pauses for a moment, but doubles down. “Capable of feeding yourself but you can’t even eat with help.” The tips of his ears are a bit pink but he isn’t going to let that stop him from professing his love. You shift around.. okay it feels kind of nice being cared for, you open your mouth to eat what’s given. “There, not hard.” You’re a bit embarrassed from all of this but Zoro glares at anyone who dares laugh or smile. This is not a joke, this is real and he’s doing perfectly normal boyfriend things.

“Wow Zoro is kinda different no-” Nami slaps a hand over Luffy’s mouth, ignoring how he protests. It doesn’t matter, he’ll keep saying it until they get used to it, until you get used to it too. Everyone cares about you, so they’ll drill it into your head like antivenom until you stop thinking you’re a burden. Migraine be damned.

All done. I couldn't fit this but the reason Franky seemed peeved at Zoro is because he tried to tell Zoro to eat and Zoro said "So what? You eat less than me, I can handle this much." as if Franky only didnt eat as much because most of him is cola-powered. Also hope migraine havers are forgiving bc I don't actually have these I just kinda did some research and wrote how I might feel if i had them. guyth if you like it feel free to comment btw