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Aroace - Blog Posts
I've been obsessed with this blog for the past hour lol.
*CONFETTI CANON*
*rainbow bits of paper fall on the floor, spelling out "What flavour of pride month are you three?"*
eclipse has the aroace and trans flags, comet has the achillean flag, and sun has the pan and questioning flags :3
I found this on Pinterest and I shared it because I support ace and aro folks.
I live in America! I am a lesbian! I am aromantic and asexual! These mfs probably don’t even know what those things mean.
Take me! Take me fucking kicking and screaming! I am not going to stop! I don’t give a shit! You can burn my yaoi, but you’ll never fucking forget it. I hope you lay down at night and when you close your eyes all you can see is my face smiling back at you.
I will die laughing. I will laugh forever.
AND YOU WILL HEAR IT!
Commentary on aroace/lesbian “fujoshi”
CW: talk of porn (the good and the bad), sex, and gender. Pretty graphic language and imagery. Sex repulsed aroace people BEWARE.
I would like to start this off by saying I am an aroace lesbian. What does that mean? Simply - I don’t want sex, nor romance, but if I did, I know where I’d find it. I love WOMEN. All women. Any women. I also really like yaoi, and I’ve seen some minimal discussion about specifically women who love yaoi or BL, and I’d like to add my two cents.
Several people online seem to take “lesbians liking yaoi” as just a natural reaction to the overall market of fiction. That is to say, there’s not a lot of options. There is a side to yuri which appeals to women, yes. But the way I see it, it’s either magical girl or slice of life, or, written by a man. And most of the stuff written by men is porn - bad porn. Thus it doesn’t appeal to women who actually like women.
In the same vein there is hetero stuff, which some lesbian/aroace yaoi enjoyers say doesn’t appeal to them because the majority of it has a male/female dynamic that is skewed. Oftentimes the woman is portrayed as weak or perhaps just isn’t a correct representation of the lesbian/aroace consumer. So why even bother?
Anecdotal, but I have had this experience too. I have a hard time getting into any kind of hetero ship because the women are often unrelatable or worse - just uninteresting. I don’t like men, so why would I care if it was just some faceless dame and her super hot husband? I don’t give a shit about him.
I’ve found that I enjoy a lot of hetero ships from demon slayer. Some may find this contradictory because there has been some commentary on the usefulness or intrigue around women in demon slayer. I think the demon slayer women are very interesting, story wise and appearance wise, and they fit very well with the men I ship them with. That is to say - men in demon slayer are simps for beautiful, strong, independent women - and I eat that shit up.
Most hetero stuff, however, is victimizing the women. Knowingly or unknowingly. It’s sad that if I want to get my rocks off to Mitsuri x Obanai, I have to scroll through like eight pages of the same inflation, big tits big ass no tummy, fart porn all sourced from the deepest dredges of Apocrypha. In fact, most of the time if you have the balls to like a fictional woman enough to want to see her getting respectfully banged, the cisgender heterosexual gooner men have already beaten you to the punch - and now you see her with her face in a smelly man’s ass. (All real examples by the way)
So it’s not to say I don’t like yuri, or hetero, it’s just that if I want to see women getting railed - I’m very particular. As I should be.
Yaoi, some people on the internet say, sets the men it’s focused around on equal footing. Instead of the woman being the damsel or a plain sexual object, the uke and seme are usually just two dudes. Not to say there aren’t power dynamics in yaoi - just to say that those power dynamics don’t hurt my pride as a woman. It doesn’t victimize a girl for somebody else’s sick kicks.
Yaoi, at least the kind I read, also can have an element of one man (the uke) usually being pretty soft or feminine. Why? Well that’s a pure reflection of how I (and other people) view sex. There is the giver and the receiver, the top and the bottom, the dom and the sub. Not that those lines don’t get crossed - they do, all the time. But as good ol’ Tevye says about Anatevka… TRADITION! (Sorry. It’s 3 AM)
The way I see it, it’s a way of having that traditional dynamic (pretty soft bottom and strong handsome top) without victimizing a woman. I do the same with yuri ships - I absolutely love love love a stone top with a pillow princess. And also - and I say this with no sense of shame - femboys are cute. Women are the superior form. Soz. So it’s awesome to see a man invoking his feminine side. It’s not like it makes him any less of a man. No matter how many times my mom peers at my drawings of Cloud Strife and says, “She’s pretty.” It doesn’t change the fact that he is him.
Gender is a fickle thing. It comes and it goes. I used to have a very conservative view of gender, and even sexuality. I was a “gold star lesbian”, and wanted nothing to do with men (still do, irl). You know what changed me? You’re gonna laugh. My Hero Academia. Oh, did I say you were gonna laugh? I meant cringe.
It’s not what you think. Bakudeku actually traumatized me - not the ship itself but one story I read on AO3 that I now understand for the masterpiece of terror and grossness it is. I would drop it but I don’t want to draw any undue attention to it.
What changed my mind on gender was actually Tomura. It didn’t even happen on purpose, l didn’t see him and go, “Oh he’s pretty, let’s dump a little more estrogen into him”. I shipped him with Dabi, paired them off as two dudes gettin it on, and I was loyal to my m/m ships. I ignored the ones tagged “Trans Tomura Shigaraki” because my brain refused to compute it. But then… I ran out of male fics. Well ran dry. I was getting anxious. I needed my shigadabi fix and how to get it?
Well. Can’t be that bad for Tomura to have a pussy.
… huh. He’s cute.
Oh no.
And that’s how it happened.
Just like that, my worldview shifted. Proud to say I’m a lot more open to gender and sexuality, now. It’s sometimes hard to admit that I used to have such rigid views. It’s a bit embarrassing - but I was also 13. My Hero just gave me the push I needed to grow up.
I’ll wrap it up now.
If you’re a lesbian or if you’re aroace and you like reading yaoi - don’t feel bad. Don’t even question it. Fiction is fiction, we’re here for such a short time you might as well enjoy the things you consume, whatever that may be. It doesn’t make you any less of who you are. It might mean that you’re just a feminist. Or it might mean you have some issues with your gender you need to hash out. Or maybe it means you just like hot guys. Who cares?
Some people argue why lesbians and aroace people like yaoi so much. There are many different answers. I’m not really concerned with them, anymore, now that I’ve found my own. What does concern me is the amount of people who I assume are outside of fandom circles… never having heard of women (lesbian or not) enjoying yaoi or BL. Several reddit comments asked, “There are lesbians who like that stuff? I’ve never seen one.”
Lemme tell you, these people are missing something awesome in life. Yaoi written by women is like fucking crack.
Reblog if
Trans ftm are valid
Trans mtf are valid
Enby peeps are valid
Intersex peeps are valid
Feminine enbys are valid
Masculine enbys are valid
Androgynous enbys are valid
Feminine trans men are valid
Feminine trans women are valid
Masculine trans men are valid
Masculine trans women are valid
Lesbians are valid
Gay people are valid
Bisexuals are valid
Trans people are valid
Queer people are valid
Asexual people are valid
Aromantic people are valid
Aroace people are valid
Pansexuals are valid
Omni peeps are valid
Genderfluid peeps are valid
Agender peeps are valid
Genderqueer peeps are valid
Demisexuals are valid
Demi boys are valid
Demigirl are valid
Aceflux are valid
Aroflux are valid
Acchileans are valid
Neptunic peeps are valid
Bigender peeps are valid
Designer peeps are valid
Enbian peeps are valid
Fluid flux peeps are valid
Hypersexual peeps are valid
Peeps with autism are valid
Peeps with ADD/ADHD are valid
Neurodivergent peeps in general are valid
LGBT folks are valid
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MIGHT ADD MORE!
Please correct me on any wrong information or any flags you’d like to see in there
PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK
l am Demisexual and Demiromantic but l hope it still proves your point :)
I need to prove a point to my mom. Reblog if you can realize you’re asexual/aromantic in your teens.
It's so funny being a shipper when you're aroace it's like you're an anthropologist, like hey fictional blorbos who live in my head let me study your bonds under a microscope and take notes on what happens when I throw Valentines Day into your enclosure
Me looking into the Hazbin Hotel fandom is like the "Why do I hear boss music?" Meme. Like I like Hazbin Hotel, but some of the people here seem obsessed with saying it has no flaws.
I like the show, it IS flawed and that's fine. I don't care if it's well written or not, I just wanna watch silly cartoon demons man. I have a stupid sense of humor and the constant swearing is really entertaining for me, but I can see how not many people actually talk like that
But damn looking into the fandom was kinda ehhhhhh. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of good people in the fandom. This post is just talking about the stuff that kinda concerned me.
Like I've seen people get harassed for redesigning the characters and uhhh....there's nothing wrong with that? Let them live???
Also please stop shipping Alastor with everyone, he is canonically aroace, it's been mentioned by the creator's multiple times
and you know it's ok to not like a show, just please guys. Don't flood someone's inbox if they don't like the show, it's their opinion. It is ok to have a different opinion.
My rant is over, shoutout to the fans who don't do any of the stuff I just rambled about
shoutout to my aro followers, you all cool as fuck.
Absolutely! They should!
Aroaces need this
Reblog if you believe Tumblr should add the aroace colors to the aroace hastag. Make this a trend to get their attention
what about sex-repulsed aro-ace people who like making lewd jokes and innuendos for the sake of irony? (me)
Reblog this if you support sex-averse and sex-repulsed aces, including:
Aces who never want to have sex
Aces who had sex in the past but don't desire it anymore
Aces with sexual trauma who feel like their trauma ties into their asexuality
Aces with sexual trauma who don't feel like their trauma caused their asexuality
Aces who don't want to talk to you about sex
Aces who don't want to hear about sex
Yes even aces who do not want to engage with any sexual content and don't want it in their own personal spaces
Yes even aces who express the desire to have more spaces for queer adults where their boundaries are met (on top of the queer spaces that exist, we do not want to sanitize your existing spaces ffs)
If you cannot be normal about these people existing, if you believe they're a threat to our community and to how we're viewed by people who aren't aspec and the rest of the LGBTQ+ community, you are not an asexual ally. Yes, even if you're aspec yourself. Especially if you're aspec yourself.
Because it's been pride month for 4 days and I'm already seeing people trying to throw us under the bus or pretend we don't exist because that makes the ace community more palatable to exclusionists and people who swallowed too much "aces are puritans" propaganda.
Yeah I’m sure sex is cool and all but have you tried watching someone else’s favorite movie with them. Have you noticed them sneaking glances at you every few minutes so they can see your reactions. Have you felt them grab your hand in the middle of a scene and braced yourself because oh, something big’s about to happen on screen. Have you tried turning to them right after the big plot twist because oh my god, just for them to give you a look that says I know, right? Have you tried laying on the couch for hours after the credits roll, going through every scene together with a fine tooth comb. Have you tried watching the sparkle in their eyes as they go on and on about metaphors, and focal points, and genre bending masterpieces.
Like blowjobs sound so awesome bro they sound so great, but have you tried the intoxicating experience of someone handing you a piece of media that irrevocably changed them as a person. Have you felt the utter joy of knowing someone trusts you enough to hand you a piece of their heart. Sex is cool but you gotta try watching Perfect Blue with the person you love most in the world and losing your goddamn minds together, because I can promise you there’s nothing like it.
A character I made named Judy Rabbit, who is both nonbinary and arcade.
funny story i was reading your bio and my heart genuinely stopped when i saw aro-ace exclusionist like. HELLO?? and then i remembered the start says DNI
thanks for the support man 😭😭
Of fucking course! I'm ace so I totally understand how frustrating it is to see others exclude us and aro people so I wanted to make it known that anyone who wants to exclude aro and/or ace peeps aren't allowed.
This, just this.
"Amatonormativity permeates more than TV shows and books. It is woven into our legal rights, creating forms of discrimination that become more and more apparent as people age. Romantic love within marriage confers privileges that other forms of devotion cannot, including over 1,100 laws that benefit married couples at the federal level. Spouses can share each other’s health insurance, as well as military, social security, and disability benefits. They can make medical decisions for each other. Companies grant bereavement leave for spouses, no questions asked, but there will be more hesitation if leave is requested for a mere friend. It is possible to marry a stranger and give them your health insurance but not possible to give health insurance to a parent...
Criteria based on sex made sense when the main purpose of marriage was to merge fortunes and produce children, but today...marriage is more about a match of devotion than a match of trade. In many cases, the point is no longer to create an heir and a spare. Plenty of married couples don’t have children (or sex, for that matter), and bad marriages with little caring are common...
Offering legal and social benefits only to the romantically attached suggests that the mere presence of romantic feeling elevates the care and deserves special protections, even though friendship and other forms of care, which can come with less obligation, can include more love, more freely given. Therefore, the legal and social privileges of marriage should be extended to all mutually consenting adults who wish for them...
'In terms of policy, marriage law really reaches into all areas of law, like tax and immigration and property,' ... 'It doesn’t matter if it’s different-sex only or same-sex marriage, so long as we restrict marriage to romantic and sexual partners we will ensure amatonormativity.' Reforming marriage law by abolishing it altogether or extending marriage-like rights to friends (to small groups or networks) is one way to eradicate discrimination."
Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
Sumi Ishika - Au Ra, Raen ♀️ (aromantic asexual) no fc yet, on Goblin - a no-nonsense ninja from the far east on a mission into foreign lands. Main job: NIN Story Progress: early 2.0
She is also best friends and work partners with Jing (Alexia) Wong and Yugiri Mistwalker. Also she is aroace and dresses sexy sometimes cause who is gonna stop her.
REVISITED LESBIAN MASTERDOC
I wanna share with y'all my version of the lesbian masterdoc. we know the og is a bit problematic, but it helped me sm, so I revisited it. if you don't have a lot of points you aren't necessarily a lesbian. notice that a lot of points also have cons (maybe you're bi and you prefer women, you have orientation OCD, you're aroace, that's your taste in men, you are emotionally unavailable, etc). so here we go...
you believe women are objectively pretty and men are objectively ugly
you believe love is just friendship with kisses
you see having sex with men as a burden
if you're a virgin, you wanna have your first time with a man in a long time
using religion as an excuse (subconsciously) to have sex after marriage
in your sexual fantasies the man is not very detailed/the more there are details the more you're bored or disinterested/you're the observer of the scene and you focus on the woman
you constantly doubt you're into men, but you don't do that with women
you find interesting men that you can't have (taken/married men, gay men, aroace men, fictional men, celebrities, much older men, men who clearly don't give a shit about you)
you prefer having long-distance relationships with men
in series and movies you focus on female characters and don't care about the male ones
having sex with men as a form of self-harm subconsciously
you prefer feminine men
when you think you have a crush on a guy, your fantasies are never actually romantic (ex. you imagine yourselves simply hanging out and enjoying each other's company, with no kisses or stuff like that)
you think you're not attracted to men cuz you still have to find the one
you have very high standards with men, but not with women
you run away as soon as the boy likes you back
finding absurd other girls lose their minds over men
not getting what's so special about certain men (ex. Leonardo DiCaprio)
you have never noticed him, but when other girls start to like him you start to crush on him, too
crushing on the guy that is liked by the girl you're super close with
believing that being attracted to men means simply finding them "nice"
choosing a boy as a crush just because someone asked you if you liked somebody or they pressured you
wishing you were a lesbian
believing you can't be a lesbian because you would've already known
believing you gotta have sex with your man just to show him you care for him, not because you enjoy it
basing your attraction for men on their personality only
finding boring future with a man
being scared of being a lesbian and asking yourself if you're one at the same time
having an intense friendship with a woman, especially if she's sapphic
always imagining yourself with a man in the future, knowing you'd rather be with a woman
thinking you'd be 100% with a woman in a world with no homophobia
changing a lot of labels, but never considering the lesbian one. you'd rather go directly for aroace
believing you're into men, but you don't care about making male friends or you have never found them interesting, not even in a platonic way
when a straight fantasy isn't making you horny, you change the story many and many times to try to turn you on on purpose to prove your heterosexuality/bisexuality
you go out with any man that likes you
you want men to want you, but when it works it makes you feel uncomfortable
getting into a straight relationship just for material convenience or to feel cool or not to let the world think you could be sapphic
wishing your boyfriend wasn't that into romantic stuff and sex
you get over men very fast
wishing for a relationship, not really for a boyfriend
wanting sex with men for validation
you need to be drunk or high to have hetero sex
wanting straight sex only if you're subdued
wanting to kiss a girl friend "to know how to kiss boys"
touching a girl by mistake and feeling weird after it (it could be simply an arm touch)
feeling awkward in a changing room
"if she were a boy, I'd be with her"/"if I were a boy, I'd be with her"
"if I were him, I'd never treat her like that"
being obsessed with queer culture as an "ally"
"everyone is a little bit gay"
everyone thinks you are
wanting to kiss a female friend as a sign of "big friendship"
some girls kiss each other to turn men on, so you take subconsciously this opportunity to kiss one because you actually desire to
kissing girls when you're drunk/high
you constantly find ways not to believe you're a lesbian
you find more sensible gay men's attraction than straight girl's attraction to men
not having "enough time for men and relationships"
if your friend uses other pronouns too, you use them a lot, more than the feminine ones to subconsciously bypass your attraction
treating bad out of nowhere the girl you were so attached to
every time you find a man funny you automatically think you're into him
you try to like men to feel more feminine (for trans girls)
joking many times about not being attracted to men or their genitals
btw if you're sure you don't like men in a sexual way, but you still don't know if you like them emotionally I recommend to research on limerence. that's how I realised I was a lesbian<3
I hope all of this helps you girlies. you're always valid♡
SORRY PORYGON ANON AGAIN COULD YOU DO THEM W ARO/ACE COLOURS? THE FLAG THE ORANGEY FLAG?
Aroace porygon line icons for anon !
As someone who has lied to themselves about "it's okay, I'm okay", I can say this. Your personality will never satisfy all the people on this planet and you don't have to please everyone. Pretending to blend in with the gray mass is the easiest path you can take, but be prepared that you, like most of the gray mass, will devalue yourself.
You don't have to pretend, even with your relatives. Yes, it takes strength, but every person has the strength to say: "I don't want this"; "I think about this"; "I like this".
People just need to accept the fact that there will always be those who will dislike them, and there will always be those who will accept us as we are. And to do that, you don't have to change yourself and your personality, adjusting it to fit others.
You are you, and you are an individual among many, but your personality can shine like a flame of fire, or go out in a sea of grayness. The choice is yours.
Anyone ever get tired of acting and playing a role all the time? Acting like you're gonna find a partner of the opposite gender one day and marry? Acting like you want to do some 9 to 5 job for the rest of your life? Coming up with excuses for why you don't drink, why you don't go to parties, why you don't want children? Tiptoeing through conversations, careful not to upset anyone and their invisible preferences they believe are universal? Pretending you're fine, pretending you never have experienced trauma or mental illness, pretending your apartment is always clean and you always have everything together. Pretending you have "normal" interests. Lying to people. Every day, wherever you go. Lying to your colleagues, to your parents, to your family. Knowing that telling the truth would be even worse, if anyone would even believe you. I'm tired of this bullshit.
When you look up an obscure show and all you can find is character x reader s*ut and you just want wholesome fan art.
The blessing and a curse of being aro
MY GIRLFRIEND ❤️
I mean
Athena (this is a test, I think I like this design)
You know, this is funny because I realized that my favorite characters are always two gay men..... and I've never really been attracted to either of them.... I just like romance... and I think I might be aroace or at least demi aroace.... and it kinda makes me sad that I might never be in a romantic/sexual relationship with anyone... I want to be, but I've never been attracted to anyone truly...
They say if you look at your favorite characters from past fandoms you'll be able to tell what your type is and I can say for certain mine is