Band Imagines - Blog Posts

yamirexic

1 year ago

hey! I hope you're all doing well :) I just wanted to ask what stuff you wanna see from me (btw I'm working on the twa episode in spain, I just don't wanna mess up :,)) Did you like the new episode of travelling with argos? let me know! and if you have any requests and feedback just let me know :D

chlorine (ville valo x depressed!reader)

warnings: triggering themes, fainting, mentions of anorexia, derealization, hospitalization, smoking, overall heavy dark stuff

growling anticipation. is that the thing that makes me linger at that lean boy in the deep blue of the backyard? i wonder if he ever noticed me like I noticed him. i'm no stalker, don't even think of it, he knows me. he invited me to come over but he probably never thought about me looking at the water droplets pooling down his chest. his dark brown hair sticking to his forehead, almost covering his eyes. i just can't keep my eyes off of it. the muscles moving with each stroke, hitting my line of thought like a lightning. i am such a mess, messy hair covering my face, black eye makeup making me look even more dead, violet blue eyebags glistering through my hair. freckes on uneven sickly pale skin, oversized hoodie covering my ugly body, scars on my left wrist, looking oh so faint. the only one who ever noticed them, only one who asked me about them. black new rocks sitting on my feet like metal tied to dog legs to let them drown. he always stayed in his own mind, gliding so carefree through the liquid madness. he probably has noticed. every normal society creature would've talked about this, pointing the staring out, but he never did. maybe he knew that it was admiration and not obsession. he always was 3 steps ahead of everyone else. eyes feeling tired, head spinning like a screw, body falling limp, falling onto the ground. vision turning black, mind falling down like a chandelier on a piano, hands on focus like in a hollywood movie, last thing able to recognize is skin. pale skin, lean muscles stretching out with every move. touch. his skin. chlorine in the air as this lovely disgusting stench that it is. water dripping down from his wet locks like lean out of a sprite bottle. ears stuffed, every sound seeming so blunt. and again. skin. the skin of a vampire. touching me ever so slightly, lifting me off the ground. everything else blurry. nothing. mind fades black

......what is that?.......

.....epiphany....

....is that....

....the end?.......

I come back to my senses, laying on something soft. opening my eyes slowly, getting used to the blunt light passing the curtains, realising I'm laying in a bed, soft pillows under my head. I turn my head a bit and see him. eyes closed, hair mostly dry and shirtless. I just lay there, my system still starting. how can someone look so peaceful but still so done and tired like he just ran a marathon or was done with life. he slept looking into my direction like he would try to keep an eye on me if something were to happen. oh yeah. something happened. my brain started to process what happened in detail, stopping after being picked up from the ground. but...there was something else...something... good. I remember a voice saying "please, wake up, oh shit, how could this happen", being layed down on the bed and... being pecked. on the lips. even though it was just a short touch, I still remember the feeling of the pink-red lips I wanted to feel for so long now, still slighty wet. was that what my brain processed as this amazing moment or as the "epiphany"? I must be imagining that just because my heart pulls the strings. flutter. flutter. the color of venom stinging my eyes. he reveals his eyes, the glowy green piercing through. my brain finally started to work and...oh shit, did he realise that I was staring at his resting corpse, but the only thing I saw in his orbs was... relieve. his arms circleling around my body like snakes, taking me into a careful hug. "I'm so glad you're awake, how are you feeling?" he asked gently, caressing my hair. "I don't know, my head hurts a bit and I'm a little dizzy but other than that I feel fine." he looked into my eyes, faces not far away from each other. he puts one hand on my face, the metal of his rings cold against my sick appearance. "do you remember...anything?" he asked with a hopeful glim in his eyes. "well, I only remember collapsing and you picking me up. the rest is just a blurry mess in my head but I still remember feeling an "epiphany" of some sort. his eyes look somewhat shocked but also...sensual? like a sensual loving look. "do you know what this epiphany felt like?" "it felt somewhat soft but also slightly wet I think. it was a tingling sensation on...my...ehh...lips." "okay interesting", he leaned in more, lips mere inches apart. "did it feel something like this?" he closed the gap and there it was. skin, his touch, vampire skin against dead skin. my hands found there way into his hair. he held me closer and it felt like the minutes of staring at him while he was gliding in the liquid element. so gracefully, so elegant, so...beautiful. the tingle stayed, even after seperating, faces still close together. "yes, but there is also another things that I remember. I think it was the stench of chlorine?" "it wasn't chlorine, it was the stench of cigarettes. I think your mind just tried making something logical for your line of thought but it only was of cigarettes. when I investigated you, you must have caught the smell in your nose." chlorine...chlorine......

..........."can you hear me? oh god, please say something, give me a sign that you're okay."

......where does that voice come from?...........

.....light.....

white light...

white light.........

.........eyes, light...

ears, voices and beeping...

touch...

where is the touch.........

my eyes opened to white light blinding me, muffed voices talking like crazy. I turned my head slightly to see I was laying in a bed...in a hospital bed.was this all just in my head? there is no chance this wasn't real, no there is no way! this can't be fake! I felt it, I know it! or...was it? I could cry just thinking about it. I looked around the room when my eyes arranged to the burning lights. the curtains were open, the city dark with the lights of buildings, stores and enterprises shining like a shooting star, giving me a feeling of bliss and safety. there was also an armchair and something or rather someone was sitting in it...him, it's him, sleeping lazily in the armchair, hair a complete mess and makeup completely smudged. he brought me here. he really did. I tried sitting up, gathering all my strength, seeing injected needles with IV. I carefully took them out, knowing this was probably not allowed at all. I stood up from the bed, going into the direction of the armchair. sitting down on the floor, putting a piece of hair behind his ear to see his face a bit better. he looks so tired, so done with everything. oh darling, how it hurts to see him so exhausted. I got carried away and started playing with his hair, looking at his quiet appearance. then suddenly, he started to move a bit, slowly opening his eyes. letting out a yawn before looking at me, a little smile creeping onto his face. he sat up and held his arms out. me getting the sign, sat down onto his lap, hugging him. he crawls his hands around my whole body up to my head, pulling me into his neck like this would be the last hug in our life. he kept me in his arms for quite a while till he pulled away and looked me in my eyes. I wanted to get my mind in order so in case of being able to do that, I asked him. "what happened? I'm so confused, in one minute I'm in your backyard the next in the hospital." "well you collapsed in the backyard. I hurried to you to see what's going on. you didn't wake up but you still had a good pulse so I just thought maybe you need some rest so I took you upstairs into my bedroom. I accidentally fell asleep as well. you woke up and seemed fine but sometime later, still laying in bed, you fell out of consciousness again so I decided to bring you to the hospital just to be safe." so the things I thought were a dream were actually real. everything was real. "I called one of my friends to pick us up. the doctor already checked on you and said it was mere exhaustion and missing vitamins making you feel weaker. I'll keep an eye on you to be sure that you eat enough and take your vitamins." "thank you" "no problem, I'll always help you out, I'm here for you. come on, lets go home." I nodded and embraced him again. "you can put your arm around my shoulder if it helps you from loosing your balance." I did as he requested, feeling his arm around my waist for more stability. we went to a black car and got inside. the driver - his friend - already knowing what happened, drove us the way home. mind tripping like on acid, feeling dazed in a haze of dizzy vision, leaning onto his shoulder. before anything got processed by my brain, I already drifted off to the world of falling but not dying - at least not always. .........................................................

I felt myself drifting back into consciousness, head heavy like a bowling ball. laying softly on pillows, covered with a blanket. soft and dense breaths next to me, living in imagination and the art of surrealism. and again I can catch myself admiring him. It seems that we slept the whole night through cause the sun is already up...or it's just 5am I don't fucking know. at least I know how to get better and that I'm in a safe environment right now. little curls of dark brown in his face covering his eyes a bit. blank, sleek face, the natural beauty striking through. again, shirless, his tattoo on his abdomen a little visible. I caught myself doubting that this was real again, you can never know but I do have the feeling that everything is just a creation of my consciousness. but in the end, even if it is, for one it's a nice dream. Doing something rude was already in my veins, shaking him a bit till he stirred. "what is it, is everything okay?" he asked quite worried but also kinda too sleepy to care at the same time. "I'm scared that I'm just dreaming this whole stuff, maybe a case of derealization. what exactly happened? in chronical order please." and then again, I heard the same story, almost falling asleep from it or was it just his soothing voice? at least I know that for once I'm really laying in a soft bed, cuddled up with him under blankets. warmth.

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a/n: this is my first ff on tumblr and I still need to figure shit out, hoped you liked it :). and sorry if there are some typos :,).