Broad Shoulders - Blog Posts

I think i understand men now,

I just saw broad shoulders and i am going feral.

In celebration of the Super Bowl on Sunday! I was always intrigued by Darkrai's broad-ass shoulders and decided to edit it to the Chiefs uniform. I thought about editing this but didn't know what uniform to edit it too, so I asked my dad what team he was rooting for and he asked google who was playing and five minutes later he said "hmmm... i guess the chiefs" so I gave him chiefs uniform if the opposing wins, I'll edit shiny darkrai to wear that uniform.

btw i heard somewhere that football players crush water-bottles and put them on their solders and thats why they appear big and broad.

You ever look at your genetics and go “how the ever living FUCK did this happen” because I am directly descended from the strongest Old Ireland clan and the second strongest Scottish clan… ON OPPOSITE SIDES??? I’m double Celtic royalty-

I’m so stupidly tall, and then I’m also pretty sure I’m developing gigantism… I’m 5’11” STILL GROWING AND THEN THERES GIGANTISM?? I don’t wanna be like 8 feet tall bro- a normal house is already a lot and a custom built house would cost my kidney-

The only reason I look like I’m not starving is that extra mass isn’t body fat, no no no, that’s pure MUSCLE-

Ya know how most little kids are chihuahuas, because they don’t have strength for their rage? WELL I WAS A DAMNED TASMANIAN DEVIL BECAUSE I SOMEHOW KNEW A BUNCH OF WEAK POINTS AND FIGHTING TACTICS WITHOUT LEARNING???? Was I James Bond in a past life or some shit???

My molars are sharp…molars as in THE HERBIVORE TEETH. I’ve tried looking it up and didn’t get an answer, I EVEN ASKED MY DENTIST AND THEY COULDNT COME UP WITH A SURE FIRE ANSWER EITHER??

I have that weird mutation that makes it so I can consume other peoples blood without worry. How do I know this? One time my bestie scraped her elbow and when I was looking at it my autism brain made me automatically lick it- I was like “did- did I just eat your blood-??” And she was like “yeah- I think so-“ and we both proceeded to burst out laughing.

My favorite part of my fucked genetics: MY JOINTS! I simultaneously have joint pain and am hyper flexible- (my jaw can also unhinge without damage but ignoring that-) so sometimes I bend 2 degrees and my spine dissipates, other times I can CONTORT TO FIT INTO A FUCKING CLOTHING DRYER???? my bestie knows that and the fact that it’s my favorite hide and seek spot and we always cackle at people’s faces when they FINALLY find me- 😭

First post here-

HOW AM I STUPIDLY SKINNY WITH THE MINIMUM BODY FAT TO BE HEALTHY.

BUT IM ALSO BROAD- THAT SHOULDNT WORK (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

*heavy breathing intensifies*