Caring - Blog Posts

Every so often, I get slightly tiered if asking people if they are okay, I want to help people I do, but at some point, it becomes sort of draining if the other person never bothered to ask back. Sometimes, being caring can be rather lonely because when the people you know constantly give something wrong but never ask about you, then it can get rather isolated. Although I'm slightly contradicting myself as I can't accept help because I don't want to bother people with my problems, at the same time I at least want to be asked yk?[Not my art]

Helping Nikki After his OD

(Reader been besties with Nikki since 1975 and goes to his house after the news of his death)

- once you got into the house you felt his presence but he wasn’t here no more

- you wondered around looking at phots of his from Vince egging him on to do something stupid to you and him when y’all was 14 and 17.

- You wondered from room to room trying to feel something only to have tears go down your face again.

- finally you get to his room and see Nikki laying on the bed with tears in his eyes.

- You are shocked beyond anything on this earth. Your best friend isn’t dead but he looks like he’s been through hell.

- You immediately hug him while he gently hugs back.

- You started to ask questions then realize he wasn’t up for it. You gently got into his arms and he shifted so he’s on top of you and you’re holding him

- it was Christmas Eve the next morning and Nikki still asleep on you. Trying not to wake him up climb out of bed down to the kitchen to make him something.

- you decided Nikki’s favorite breakfast item.

- you took it up to him and the smell of it woke him up. He looked at you like you are Godsend which you are.

- you bring him presents back from your moms house. Your mom got him lots and so did you.

- he loved every gift.

- he kept hugging you over and over with excitement.

- little did you know he would make you his girlfriend next year.

I hate myself because no one has ever cared enough to teach me why I should love it.

Then I met you

GUYS GUYS GUYS I NEED YOU TO KNOW THIS

Hating yourself is NOT a contained practice. It ALWAYS impacts other people either directly or indirectly. So LET IT GO because not only is it mean to you, it's harmful to everyone in the environment around you.

There is no way to hate without hurting others. Even if you think it's just yourself.

Hating yourself is harming others. Like, almost always. Even if you don’t mean it to.

Loving yourself enough to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself is what makes you more capable of helping others and doing good.

You’re not going to shame and hate yourself into being a better friend, a better spouse, better parent, better person, better service to the world. That’s done through love and gentleness. I promise.

And I know it’s work! There is no switch to flip that takes you magically from self-hatred, self-denial, insecurity, and depression to self-love, self care, gentleness, and joy! It takes work and, for many people, seeking outside help! But it’s worth it worth it worth it, not just for you, but for everyone around you.