Competitive Swimming - Blog Posts

MORE THINGS MY SWIM TEAM HAS DONE!!!!!

-My friend and I walk out of the locker room.We all the sudden hear screaming from the boys locker room, We just looked at each other and raise our eyebrows.

-3 guys were 3 seconds away from getting into a fist fight over a lane. The rest of the team was watching them like a move. One girl was pretending to eat popcorn.

- *Talking about committing a crime* Me-“In jail you get free heath care.” A junior-“Sounds good, let’s go break the law.” A sophomore (Keep in mind that he is a cis male) “But you don’t get enough tampons in jail!”

-”I was eating dirt in 8th grade, bro.”

-A guy gets a lot of noise bleeds. On the bus home from a meet he got one and there were no tissues or anything. One of the boys suggests a tampon. Now anytime he has a noise bleed someone throws a tampon at him.

-A girl brought a gallon of tea to practice.

-One of the guys looked so offended when he saw a guy on a different team had the same tech suit as him. 

-I’m pretty sure most of them (and positive some of them) are high half the time, so that may be the reason for all the shit they do.

My swim season is over! I’ll definitely miss my team. As my team is made up of 2 small schools, I will be able to see some of them, but the kids from the other school I probably wont. I had a fantastic time swimming with them all and am glad I will see most of them next year.

Here are some things that I witnessed kids from my swim team say and do

*Someone is talking about how they're trying to be more healthy and happy* another kid- "man, that shit dont work, settle for cocaine like the rest of us

"I'm pretty sure everyone cheated on the test last week" "I didnt" "Okay, fucking nerd"

*dude walks by in a Speedo* "damn, look at his weiner" *dude turns around to look at them* *person next to her takes a bite of their sausage on a fork*

*Drake dramatically opens the door to the pool room* IM HERE, IM QUEER, AND I DONT HAVE ANY FEARS" "OKAY DRAKE, THEN KILL THIS FUCKING SPIDER" a person hiding in a corner yells "IM HERE IM QUEER AND I HAVE ONE FEAR" *Drake runs away screaming*

"Daaaaamn, i dropped less time than emily, and shes fucking slow"

"Do you think I coukd swim fully clothed without getting in trouble?" "Abby I swear to god if you do that-" *abby proceeds to jump into the pool fully clothed* *her boyfriend screams and jumps in after her trying to save his phone that was in her pocket*

"i LiKe CrAcK" *takes bite of raw onion*

*this one person whispering* "the snack that smiles back" *whole team yelling* "GOLDFISH"

"What kind of water are hamsters supposed to swim in?" "Um, no water? They aren't supposed to be in water" "shit..." "ROW WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"They guys locker room is so much nicer than the girl's" "why the fuck were you in the boys locker room Abby?" "WHY THE FUCK WAS NELSON GIVING US A TOUR OF IT, NOAH? I DONT KNOW MAYBE BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WAS HERE AND WE WANTED TO PLAY HIDE AND SEEK!"

"Is that a potato chip?!" *dives into the water to get a potato chip from the bottom of the pool* *eats the really soggy potato chip* "well this dont taste good..."

*person who was sick walking past the lockers into the main part of the locker room* "WAZZUP MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! DID YA MISS ME?!" "WHY DIDNT YOU DIE WHILE YOU WE'RE SICK ABBY?!" "FUCK YOU ASHLYN

Aaaand that's all I can think of, tell me if you want a part two

I am also on a swim team, so I’m adding.

- we were told to do one 500. We had to do 3 cuz someone was breathing to much. Then we all breathed in protest.

- A senior walked up to a freshman and picked him up and spun him around.

- “just keep your laps straight.” “I COULDN’T EVEN KEEP MYSELF STRAIGHT!”

- One of the people on my swim team fucking prayed while they were on the block, like the dude fucking crossed his chest and then kissed his hand. My friend saw a different guy do this, he wasn’t even religious!

- One of the guys wolf-whistled at another guy. I am now writing gay fanfic of them.

- we found a knife on the swim bus and didn’t think to give it to the coach for a full ass 10 minutes, so we sat their all staring at the knife wondering what to do.

- one guy started whistling really loudly just at the start of an event.

- a girl jumped into the pool fully clothed.

- took a nap on a table

- Medicine Ball Catch. Enough said

- We have a cheer about toothpaste

- we all shave together

- we have gossip sessions in the shower

- the boys relay always yell “meat sauce” before they swim

- treat inhalers like drugs.

- a girl who threw her goggles at the coach.

There is so much more shit I have seen that I can’t even write it all. My swim team is very special

Here are some things that I witnessed kids from my swim team say and do

*Someone is talking about how they're trying to be more healthy and happy* another kid- "man, that shit dont work, settle for cocaine like the rest of us

"I'm pretty sure everyone cheated on the test last week" "I didnt" "Okay, fucking nerd"

*dude walks by in a Speedo* "damn, look at his weiner" *dude turns around to look at them* *person next to her takes a bite of their sausage on a fork*

*Drake dramatically opens the door to the pool room* IM HERE, IM QUEER, AND I DONT HAVE ANY FEARS" "OKAY DRAKE, THEN KILL THIS FUCKING SPIDER" a person hiding in a corner yells "IM HERE IM QUEER AND I HAVE ONE FEAR" *Drake runs away screaming*

"Daaaaamn, i dropped less time than emily, and shes fucking slow"

"Do you think I coukd swim fully clothed without getting in trouble?" "Abby I swear to god if you do that-" *abby proceeds to jump into the pool fully clothed* *her boyfriend screams and jumps in after her trying to save his phone that was in her pocket*

"i LiKe CrAcK" *takes bite of raw onion*

*this one person whispering* "the snack that smiles back" *whole team yelling* "GOLDFISH"

"What kind of water are hamsters supposed to swim in?" "Um, no water? They aren't supposed to be in water" "shit..." "ROW WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"They guys locker room is so much nicer than the girl's" "why the fuck were you in the boys locker room Abby?" "WHY THE FUCK WAS NELSON GIVING US A TOUR OF IT, NOAH? I DONT KNOW MAYBE BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WAS HERE AND WE WANTED TO PLAY HIDE AND SEEK!"

"Is that a potato chip?!" *dives into the water to get a potato chip from the bottom of the pool* *eats the really soggy potato chip* "well this dont taste good..."

*person who was sick walking past the lockers into the main part of the locker room* "WAZZUP MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! DID YA MISS ME?!" "WHY DIDNT YOU DIE WHILE YOU WE'RE SICK ABBY?!" "FUCK YOU ASHLYN

Aaaand that's all I can think of, tell me if you want a part two