Condesce - Blog Posts

“Meat” and “Candy” Thoughts and Speculation

Spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn’t read both.

“Meat” and “Candy” are essentially fanfiction—perhaps specifically fix-it-fics—written by Homestuck characters themselves. While it doesn’t make them any less “true” or “real,” (even though it divorces them from the Three Pillars of Canon), it does explain the “fanficcy” feel.

“Meat” is written/narrated by Dirk and Alt!Calliope, each fighting for control of the narrative. Dirk might actually be Caliborn/LE, or at the very least, influenced/corrupted by him.

Dirk did something like this before, when he “wrote” Pony Pals for Jane, altering the original story by replacing parts of it with his own commentary.

Each page contains lovingly hand-written commentary on the deeds of this intrepid young horse.

Later, about halfway through the book, rather than see the gag through to the bitter end, Strider began pasting over entire pages of original text with his own completely rewritten version of the story, while keeping all the chapter titles. His revision is a tough, emotionally draining read. But it's cathartic, in all the worst ways possible. He tends to get carried away with his projects.

Sounds familiar, right? Using Pony Pals as an analogue, Alt!Calliope might represent the author of the original story, while Dirk modifies and rewrites it, twisting it into his own version. Alternatively, neither Dirk nor Alt!Calliope are the original author of the Epilogue, and both are altering the story as "Meat". Perhaps the book found in Calliope’s picnic basket is the original, unmodified story—the "pure" version of the Epilogues. (More on this below.)

Dirk is becoming Lord English/Doc Scratch. The parallels between Dirk and Caliborn/Doc Scratch are uncanny.

It might have something to do with Dirk's Ultimate Self and gaining access to the thoughts/memories/experiences of all his splinters and alternate lives. Those alternate selves/splinters include Bro (who was raised/corrupted by Lil Cal), Lil Hal, Doc Scratch, and Lord English, and the lines between all of them are blurring.

If Dirk is indeed LE in some way, shape, or form, the events of Meat may be LE’s way of trying to take over Post-Canon, exerting his influence beyond his domain of Canon.

(I plan to elaborate on the Dirk = LE theory in a future post.)

As a parallel to Dirk = LE, Jane is essentially becoming the Condesce. I’m not sure of the connection with her Ultimate Self, although I suppose that would include Crockertier Jane.

It might have something to do with the Condesce grooming her to be her heiress, and possibly even Jane inheriting her immortality curse? (I need investigate this further.)

Dirk and Jane even have the same alliance as LE and the Condesce: Dirk and LE pulling the strings while Jane/Condy carries out the plans. Similarly, Dirk and LE rule the metanarrative/story and travel through space, while Jane/Condesce rules the planet(s) of Trolls and Humans. (Credit to @wisdomdissimulator for the original observation/theory.)

“Candy” is written/narrated by Calliope from the Meat timeline. In Meat, Roxy mentions Calliope stays home and paints the walls with what sounds like the events of Candy.

ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise ROXY: some of it is like ROXY: weird and violent?? ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? [...] ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married . . .

While the Calliopes seem less inclined to control/force the characters and narration than Dirk, there are still moments of bias and asserting their will—specifically anything regarding the Trickster Lollipop.

Calliope (as the narrator) may have even controlled/influenced Dirk to suicide, possibly as a way to “save” the Candy timeline from Dirk’s influence. While the narration claims otherwise, it’s also possible Dirk killed himself of his own accord in a twisted mixture of Heroism and Justice, knowing what he could become if he lived, and thus wanting to spare the timeline.

Terezi of “Meat” is the same Terezi communicating with John in “Candy”. Since she’s still in Canon, she basically transcends the Meat and Candy timelines until she reaches Meat’s Earth C. This is why she expects Meat’s John to be older, why she thinks John and Roxy might be together, and why she has a hunch that things wouldn’t have worked out between John and Roxy—because this is true of Candy’s John, at least at the time Terezi last spoke with him.

Gamzee’s presence and influence might have something to do with the unexplained weirdness of the Candy timeline. Characters seem oddly blind or impotent to the circumstances around them, almost like there’s a Ragey influence sowing discord, anger, confusion, and obliviousness among the characters—just as what happens with the Trolls during Murderstuck. It isn’t until after Gamzee’s death that the characters start to seem more like themselves and are more capable and hopeful.

While Gamzee has “Joker immunity” within Homestuck, he’s able to die in Candy because it’s outside of Canon. (My theory is that Lord English grants him immortality, since Gamzee must become a component of LE and thus CAN’T die.)

John needs to take a third option, different from The Choice™ of either Meat or Candy. There's a book in Calliope’s basket, so the third option very well may be the book. Which would also make sense since a book represents/contains a story, and Meat and Candy, while food, also represent stories.

Another interesting third option would be “Vegetables”—or specifically “Pumpkin”—which Roxy could potentially summon via Void powers. It would make a cool reference and callback to “What Pumpkin”.

(More elaboration on the Third Option theory planned for a future post.)

I have a LOT more thoughts and ideas on the Meat and Candy Epilogues, so I’ll probably continue this in another post.

Thoughts and musings on the upcoming battle

Reflection on the 5/13/15 update with potential strategies, considerations, and predictions.

The best team to face the Becs would ironically be the "least important/effective" characters: Tavros, Jaspers, and the Mayor---plus Jade and GCat.

Jaspers could be a great distraction for them because cat. Actually, there’s probably even two of them around.

Tavros could use his communing abilities to control the Becs, plus potentially GCat to use as a distraction.

The Mayor would probably be safe because PM is his friend. He’s destined to face Bec Noir, anyway.

Jade, either asleep or awake, would occupy the Becs' attention, be safe from them (and protected by them!), and has the same First Guardian abilities.

As long as the Condesce is sufficiently distracted, they'd all be good.

Jack English vs. Dirk, Dave, and possibly surprise Davesprite would make a nice callback to when Bro and Davesprite fought against Jack on LOWAS. Remember how the final prototyping gave him First Guardian powers, which turned the tide of battle?

What if that happens with Jack English, such as obtaining the golden cuestaff and that very same ring? LOWAS (I assume it’s there now) is one of the closest planets to Jack English, too, so the battle could occur in the very same spot!

If Davesprite is around, he risks being influenced by the Condesce like Jade, since he’s part bird.

The idea of Karkat facing his old frienemy Spades Slick is delicious. If anyone can convince Slick to form an alliance, it's Karkat.

Any of the trolls facing the Condesce is probably dangerous because of her manipulation powers. That mostly just leaves the kids.

Nannasprite's probably around. She'd be great as part of the healing team, since she's alt!Jane and has healing abilities, too.

If there’s an extra Nannasprite who tagged along on LOWAS, even better.

Remember Casey's undead army on LOMAX? That has potential to show up again, too. If the Condesce uses her powers to control them, BAD NEWS. If not, allies ahoy! I imagine the golden battleship is still there, too, since Aranea wasn't around to move it; they could use that, as well.

During the fracas, Gamzee will probably escape. (Don't turn your back on the body!) Plus, he most certainly will travel back in time to at least give Lil Cal to CD to create Jack English in the first place. That has to happen somehow, since Vriska apparently didn’t do it. Gamzee might also prototype the final sprite. Who knows what else he'll do?

Vriska is leaving, yes. My guess is to raise the Cherubs, but we really don't know. (She's already hijacked Gamzee's role for practically everything else, plus she has other Gamzee parallels.) What if she returns in time to give the final blow to the Condesce, being the one to officially kill her? It'd mirror her dealing the final blow to the Black King of their session, plus... She'd likely inherit Lord English's curse. Lord English has already been manipulating her and using her to his advantage anyway; the curse would just make it official.