Cumplane - Blog Posts

Shang Qinghua sending Shen Yuan the rough draft of the latest chapter of PIDW knowing he’s going to foam at the mouth bashing it

sending your friends terrible tumblr posts is a love language

am i the only one who read sv3s only because i wanted more cucumberplane interactions ?

and honestly i was disappointed

where's my cucumberplane extra

on the hunt for some mushroom??

They’re on a night hunt. It is…. Going.

i promise i can actually somewhat draw, I don’t know why they come out like this 😭

Looking out for the cucumber.

you know what? I love drawing this design. I think it’s starting to turn cumplane into an otp

Don’t worry Bingy, I still love you, and you still stay as my #1 OTP for life.

I think I just like weirdo x weirdo ships. They scratch an itch fr.

Reluctant husbands.

also, SQH looks really good here.

bros before hoes.

what else can i say?

SQQ and SQH and wonders of Spotify!!!!!!

It's movie night at the bamboo house!!

When you try to comfort a bro, but later he comes back and tells you that he knows the excruciating pain of having his limbs severed...

(also almost at 150 subs... (°◡°♡) )

Post- reveal cumplane in this au with SQH so happy to find someone who has gone through the same thing he has (reliving his life multiple times after death, specifically- but the being a transmigrator was a bonus too!) and talking to SQQ about it while SQQ just stands there like You've. What.

AU where SQH gets reborn as a baby every time he screws up and dies, having to live life as SQH again and again until the “current” timeline. He remembers all of his deaths and stuff as well

Would love to apply this SQQ as well, but i like to imagine that he has just lived this one life as SQQ (but if he manages to die fr he would get send back to his spawn-point too)

I think about these two very often

Shang Qinghua: That's right, I'm a cut-sleeve. And in case you haven't noticed, so is Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Qingqiu: What??? I'm not a cut-sleeve.

Shang Qinghua: Haha, what're you talking about, you took me to that dual cultivation tavern.

Shen Qingqiu: So? They sold neat talismans!

Shang Qinghua: What about our trip to the Everlasting Hearts Cave then?

Shen Qingqiu: I wanted to see the Blooming Love Birds during nesting season!

Shang Qinghua: B-but... you made love to me--

Shen Qinghua: Okay, first of all, you landed face first into a sex pollen plant--

What about airplane getting hit by wife plots

He spends a lot of time in the demon realm, it's more likely for him to run into sex pollens and nasty entities who put weird curses on him while he's just a little guy trying to fix his king's kingdom.

He brings home precious plants and potions to keep safe for his king or for himself for emergencies. Oops, accidentally inhaled something weird from the secret stash while sorting through it and now he needs to be taken, that's the only way it works (who wrote this shit????????)

Mobie jun is out of question, Airplane will smell like demon for days and he cannot contact/bother him with this, not to mention that's purely marital activities which he cannot ask his king to engage in! That's his king and Airplane is but a lowly servant.

So.. Cucumber bro is the only safe bet. He has modern sensibilities. He won't kick up fuss about casual sex which is also not casual but life saving.

He flies to his bro's peak, half crazed and kicks down the door, startling him and his son's lesson. Oops. His dear son will have to practice on his own, sorry protagonist, Airplane needs touch and he needs it now.

Cucumber bro taps him on the head with his stupid fan which only makes him fall into his arms with fervor. Three privacy barriers, two noise cancelling tailsman and a verbal lashing later, Cucumber bro finally lets their mouths meet and the relief is heavenly.

Peak Lord Shang Qinghua passes out fucked out of his mind (and the poison) and Master Shen refuses to answer his door till later in afternoon next day because his place smells so strongly of sex.

Stupid hack writer falling victim to his own writing. Get fucked. He thinks with satisfaction.

r/relationship_advice

u/smashedcucumbers

My (26M) Roommate (28M) kissed me and I don't know what to do now.

So, for context, my roommate (28M) and I (26M) are both straight men. For privacy, I will call him RM, for roommate. Onto the background.

So, RM is an author — or, attempts to be one. He has a lot of potential but squanders it all on writing shitty porn for money. I have read, and still do read, his work. The skill is present, but he doesn't lean into it.

I am very rich. I don't understand what it's like to not have money or worry where my next meal will come from, and after a lot of introspection and discussion with him, I acknowledge this privilege. Monetarily, and familially, I am very lucky. This isn't to brag, or to say I have no struggles of my own (believe me, I do), but purely to add context.

I offered to pay his bills, etc., so he could write what he wanted but he refused most help because he didn't want to be "just some sugar baby" (???) — in the end, he only moved into my apartment and let me cover the rent.

We have been living together for 2.5 years now.

With the background out of the way, I'll get into why I actually made this post, now.

Last night, RM and I were having another argument over his writing. Since moving in, he has let me begun editing & beta reading his work. I have a formal degree in literature and editing, but don't do it for work. Needless to say, I know what I'm doing.

We argue a lot over his writing. Something about last night's fight was different, though. It was more tense than usual. Ever since the power went out last week — during which we had to share my bed for warmth — there has been a strange energy between us, and I guess it all bubbled over during this fight.

I don't even really remember the details. It was about a scene in which the tension between the protag of his novel and his latest love interest snapped and they fell into a passionate night. I expressed how unnatural it felt in context with the rest of the chapter, and how sudden, and that there needed to be more proper build-up. RM disagreed. I then pointed out the kissing itself and how unrealistic it was. We went back and forth like this a bit, egging each other on and arguing.

At one point, he said something along the lines of, "like you could do better," and I snapped back that maybe I could. He laughed and said he'd like to see my try and, without thinking — in the heat of the moment — said fine, go ahead. The silence was...deafening I tried to backpedal immediately when I realized what I said — again we are both straight men. I don't even know why my head went there, let alone why I said it.

After that, it gets fuzzy. All I remember is one second I was stumbling over my words trying to backpedal, the next we were on the couch and I was in his lap. I came back to my senses when he tried to take my shirt off and, as ashamed as I am to admit it, I've been hiding at my older brother's house since.

I don't want to go back home while my head is still such a mess, but I think my brother & his husband are starting to get sick of my intrusion.

Reddit, what do I do? He hasn't tried to contact me all day, or at all since I fled last night. I've never questioned my sexuality before, but now I don't know what to think. I'm straight, but...I didn't hate it?

I'm really at a loss.

⬆ 7.4k | ⇩ 💬 926 🏅 ➥ 5.8k

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🔰 AutoModerator MOD • 7 hrs • Welcome to r/relationshi...

u/streetcat 6hrs

Ever since the power went out last week — during which we had to share my bed for warmth — there has been a strange energy between us

bro...you cannot be serious.

••• ⤶ ⬆ 1.2k ⇩

u/helpful-idiot 6hrs 🎂

Plain and simple, you need to talk to him. This isn't something that will just go away if you hide long enough. This needs real communication.

••• ⤶ ⬆ 3.2k ⇩

u/endoftheline 6 hrs

we are both straight men

Are you sure about that? Genuinely. Has he ever told you he's straight? Brought home girls? Anything concrete?

he hasn't tried to contact me

It's likely he's just as panicked as you are, OP. You seem like close friends and, sexuality aside, this complicates that friendship.

what do I do?

1. Breathe.

2. Thank your brother and BIL for their hospitality.

3. Go home and talk to your friend.

Regardless of the outcome, you both deserve an honest conversation with all your cards on the table. Especially if he's having an identity crisis of his own. Have some faith in your friendship and work through this together.

edit: spelling

••• ⤶ ⬆ 6.7k ⇩

u/smashedcucumbers OP • 5hrs

Thank you.

••• ⤶ ⬆ 346 ⇩

u/smashedcucumbers OP • 4hrs

I'm going to talk to him. I might update properly later. Thank you all for the responses.

••• ⤶ ⬆ 3.9k ⇩

luo binghe is already airplane’s thinly veiled self insert, i wonder how things would go if he had transmigrated into luo binghe while shen yuan still transmigrates into shen qingqiu. the cumplane lover in me says they’d figure out the transmigration thing much faster and end up working together, but i also think it would be funny if sy’s love for “lbh” gets called into question bc he does NOT remember bingge being such an obnoxious little shit, meanwhile airplane!binghe is purposefully being increasingly disobedient bc why tf is the scum vilain being nice to him? like sure he's still snappish and mean, but he hasn't hit him or made him chop wood even once what is going on what is happening to his story his characters???

SQQ: "Fuck, I think I got hit with some sex pollen--"

SQH: "My clothes are off and I'm coming over to your place."

Am thinking about non transmigration au where SY discovers his sexuality via 400k of unposted Mobing...

My thoughts are as such:

Right before the end of PIDW Airplane posts an update that basically says "Hey due to a mix of health and personal reasons I won't be able to post for a while sorry!!"

SY, who is in the hospital with horrible food poisoning isn't happy about this!! Something like this right after a cliffhanger??? Really??? And he's not got a lot else to do In the hospital, so he kind of... accidentally... doxxes Airplane...

He was just looking for an account that he thought that hack author would check since he's obviously not looking at zhongdian, honest!!! But it turns out that this person lives somewhat nearby where SY does and is much cuter than he expected some hack author to be

So he maybe goes to wander around the area (its nearby!! He's allowed to go on walks isn't he!!) And as a matter of fact finds Airplane!! Right on the sidewalk!!!

And starts off with a rather aggressive introduction before realizing that his favorite shitty erotica author 1) has obviously healing electrocution burns, 2) is?? Way too skinny? Like on par with SY himself and hes chronically ill, 3) is standing outside a social services office and 4) appears to be carrying everything he owns with him on his back

He immediately feels so guilty that he pivots from angry ranting to guiltily offering him a place to stay or, he can at least pay for a hotel room?? SQH does a very brief amount of mental calculus on if he'd rather deal with government bureaucracy or getting kidnapped and axe murdered by a crazy fan, shrugs, and chooses the latter.

When SQH point out that he can't pay SY back in any way SY tells him that he can pay him back by writing a better novel!!! SQH teases him about being a devoted fan and offers to let him read some unpublished extras and backstory stuff (like SJ & YQY backstory, that sort of thing). Predictably, SY likes this a lot more and complains that it wasn't in the novel, in turn Airplane laments that if more readers were like SY he wouldn't be in this situation in thr first place.

Related: SQH can't update because his laptop is fried. SY claims "to know a guy". SY does not know a guy, but he has money, so... (the files are fine and saved in like 3 different cloud locations, Airplane already learned that lesson)

But PIDW ended on a cliffhanger! SY doesn't want to wait!!! So he bothers Airplane until he finds out that Airplane actually haS two endings waiting in the wings and he still hasn't decided which one to post. Reason being: he's kinda 80% done with writing a sequel of sorts, but he knows if he posts it it will basically get his zhongdian account nuked and remove his chances of making money from it ever again, because the current readers of PIDW would HATE IT

Sy eventually argues that *he's* a reader and that Airplane should let *him* read it and if he deems it good then it's certainly good enough to post!! SQH finds this very funny because SY is not the average PIDW at all, but decides to allow it

The sequel in question is a slow burn romance from Mobei-Juns point of view that leans heavily into drama and political intrigue. He stands by Binghes side and quietly pines and remains loyal and Binghe slowly discovers that devoted loyalty and understanding is actually the thing that makes him happy (vs empty relationships with his many wives)

(Mobei Jun is written in a very grey-ace way, not understanding the carnal desires of other demons but would do anything for Junshang if asked etc etc)

SY ADORES this book and thinks that if it were posted online it would be his #1 favorite. He really relates to MBJ as a protagonist and Binghe is still the best!! And then he is completely blindsided when the two of them have tender emotional gay sex

Being SY, he absolutely tries to justify this to himself as like, aha,what a clever subversion...! You can tell because this sex scene was way better written then all the ones in PIDW, but obviously they aren't gay (He is too flustered to bring this up to Airplane in person despite having no problem doing so with the het stuff)

The novel ends with, like, Bingge sealing away Xin mo and promising to be just as loyal to his general as MBJ is to him, and is very obviously romantic to the point that even SY can't miss it. So he goes back and rereads it to make sure it was actually meant to be a romance (...danmei) novel all along. And then again just to make sure and he's kinda losing his mind a little because he really related to MBJ in this book and... MBJ had gay sex??

Of course you also have the "and they were roommates" situation going on at the same time. The rituals are intricate. Airplane is aware that's he's giving SY some kind of sexuality crisis but he has no idea how intense! He's genuinely fine having an unrequited crush on SY. Homoerotically teasing him is fun and it doesn't have to go further than that! Hes not really in a place to be doing any dating anyways and bro-cuddles have him covered!

Side note: I like the idea of SY being very proud when Airplane gains weight bc its Physical proof that he's taking good care of his friend and also maybe catering to what he finds attractive

When SY finally gets to the point where he asks about his sexuality, Airplane pretty much gives him the "I don't see a point in labels, I just like who I like" speech.

SY who loves categorizing and labeling things: can you do that?? Is that allowed??????

He then gets pointed to Baby's First LGBTQ resource website, and after determining that he's maybe not gay but maybe is something else immediately jumps into googling "how to date your best friend who is also your roommate"

I’ve had this saved in my wips since October of last year _(:3 」∠)_

"I still can't believe you named not one, but two characters after yourself," Shen Yuan grumbled from where he was using his husband's shoulder as a pillow, arms wrapped around his waist and puffing warm breaths onto his cheek. "And one of them was that shitty fucking spy."

"I wouldn't say he was shitty," Luo Qinghua said, continuing to type away at the draft for his newest chapter. He loved that he was finally able to actually sit and plan his story out now, rather than have to continuously churn out 10k a day just to make ends meet. Small perks of marrying into a rich family.

Shen Yuan sat up to look him in the eye, accidentally leaning too far backwards in the process. Luo Qinghua quickly reached out to grab the other's thighs to avoid them both tipping over. "Shang Qinghua literally gets exposed as a spy--"

"After several fucking years--"

"--And is immediately killed by Mobei-Jun afterward because he's of no more use!" Shen Yuan continued on as if he hadn't been interrupted. "I'm just saying that you could and would do a far better job. Even though you suck at being sneaky."

"Ahaha, yeah," Luo Qinghua said, averting his gaze. What his husband didn't know about the limited edition PDIW merch he had hidden away in the closet for his upcoming birthday, couldn't hurt him. Shen Yuan narrowed his eyes at him and opened his mouth, so Luo Qinghua quickly kept going. "Well, even if I could do it, I don't know if I would've been able to do all those things Shang Qinghua did, anyway. Planning murder and sabotaging sects isn't really my hobby, you know?"

"Mhm." Shen Yuan pursed his lips, still suspicious, but deciding to go with it. Crisis averted! Though Luo Qinghua knew that Shen Yuan would bring it up later. "I think you'd be clever enough to, but yeah, you wouldn't." Shen Yuan suddenly smirked and unwound his arms from around Luo Qinghua's waist, reaching up instead to interlock them around his neck and pull him closer. "Either way, if I were Mobei-Jun, I would've kept you."

"I'm your husband, even if I was the worst spy on Earth, you would've kept me, regardless," Luo Qinghua deadpanned. Still, he felt his face flushing a light pink. The way Shen Yuan was looking at him made his skin prickle with warmth.

"Mm, exactly," Shen Yuan hummed and pressed his mouth to Luo Qinghua's collarbone. Luo Qinghua shivered. His voice shifted, lower and teasing. "Husband."

"Yes, A-Yuan?" One of his hands stayed on Shen Yuan's thighs while the other reached up to rest on his lower back, caressing the soft skin peeking out from beneath his shirt.

"Save your draft and turn off your laptop."

Luo Qinghua was moving before Shen Yuan had even finished.

A year post abyss, Peak lords Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua cuddle puddle havers. With or without the privacy barriers, in SQQ's bamboo house or in SQH's office.

Who cares ommgggg who cares we're dead meat anyway or so they think.

Did ask, very much care because people are losing their minds. Rumors are flying. The Sect Leader tactfully (read, tearfully) extracted himself from Master Shen's house after Peak Lord Shang answered the door, telling him that, no Qingqiu is not available and is resting (So was he by the state of his hair and robes). Peak Lord Liu Qingge nearly deviated this one time when he burst into SQH's office for an update on something trivial only to find SQQ curled up on top of SQH who was snoring into SQQ's hair, scrolls abandoned.

It's getting out of hand. They've been spotted casually leaning into each others touch around their peaks. Master Shen insists they need sunlight (it's nearly dusk) as he fills in Peak Lord Shang's official reports (signed SQQ), Peak Lord Qinghua sleepily agrees against Master Shen's side.

Jaws are on the floor with tongues still wagging, the rumor mill is frenzied, enough that the matter has reached the borderlands near the rifts and by extension, the demons and the abyss and one young heavenly demon who is as jealous as he is confused.

Somewhere under Master Shen, Peak Lord Shang shivers awake.

"I have... realized," Shen Qingqiu said, "that you technically indirectly killed dozens of teenagers. At the Immortal Alliance Conference." He glanced at his friend from the corner of his eye. The office had been quiet before then, though Shen Qingqiu's thoughts had been heavy with contemplation.

Shang Qinghua lifted his head from his paperwork to look at the other, eyes half-lidded and slightly dull. "It's so kind of Shen-shixiong to have realized this. It only took a few months after the Conference had already ended."

"...don't you feel guilty?"

"What is there to feel guilt about?" Shang Qinghua said nothing else, and when Shen Qingqiu did nothing but frown back at him, he went back to signing various forms. In the silence that followed, he sighed and continued, "Listen, I'm not a necessarily a good person. I'm selfish, and I want to live. If I have to choose between myself and random characters that I don't know, then I'll always choose myself."

Shen Qingqiu stared at him, before looking down at his lap, where one of his friend's written works lay in a scroll. Most of the other's writings that he had gotten to read were far better than the trash his web novel had devolved into, more comparable in quality to the early PIDW chapters. He was excited to read this one, but he hadn't opened it yet. "I wasn't saying it to condemn you. After all, I want to live, too." He shifted. "So, I guess I'm not a good person, either."

The An Ding Peak Lord immediately shook his head. "No, unlike me, you are a good person--"

"If I were a better person, I would've taken the point deduction and allowed myself to die at the edge of that Endless Abyss than do what I did."

Silence permeated the room. Shang Qinghua kept his eyes on his forms, though his hands remained still, while Shen Qingqiu continued to stare down at the scroll in his lap.

Finally, Shang Qinghua let out a dry laugh and put down his paperwork to pinch at the bridge of his nose. "Shen-shixiong, you sometimes irritate me, you know?" His voice was light, but there was something else in it, a barely noticeable tremor that made Shen Qingqiu look up. "You say these things, but you're sitting here, agonizing over the choices you've made to keep yourself alive. What does that say about you?"

What does it say about me, that I don't do the same? Shen Qingqiu sighed, fingers tightening around the edge of the scroll. "It says that I still have to live with it, the choice that I made."

"Then why are we even having this conversation? We both made our choices, and guilt or not, we're both still here, aren't we? Why think about it any further?"

Shen Qingqiu studied his friend, eyes tracing the exhausted droop of his eyes, the way tension clung to his slumped shoulders, despite his upright position. He had spent weeks turning it over in his head, wondering how his friend could stand the stain of blood on his hands, even if it meant that he got to live. But hadn't Shen Qingqiu done the exact same thing?

"Because it bothers you," Shen Qingqiu finally said. "Even if you say it doesn't."

Shang Qinghua scoffed and picked his brush back up, the black ink having already smeared all over his latest form. It would need to be discarded. "Don't make me laugh. I'm not some sort of anti-hero. I just know better than to waste time brooding over something I can't change. If it ever starts bothering me too much, I just tell myself that they were all meant to die, anyway."

"That's a bit cold, shidi."

"Don't try to pretend that you don't do the same mental gymnastics. You're just not as good at it as I am."

Shen Qingqiu couldn't argue with that. Sometimes, the world felt too real, and then not real enough. Shen Qingqiu would hear someone laugh, or taste a brilliantly seasoned dish, and everything felt too much and it all exploded before it turned dim. He would no longer be quite inside his body, and he would notice for the first time, again and again, how nothing was ever quite real.

It was a story. That's all it was. It was all just a story.

Shang Qinghua watched him for a moment, then sighed. "Shen-shixiong, if you ever figure out how to balance staying alive with being a good person, let me know."

"Oh?" Shen Qingqiu finally unrolled the scroll he had been holding for some time now. "And what would that accomplish?"

"Maybe then I’d consider feeling guilty."

"You promised!" Shang Qinghua, despite his efforts, couldn't stop the gasping sobs. "You said you wouldn't leave me behind again! And then you died then and you're dying now and you promised!"

Shen Yuan reached for the other, fighting through the darkness and blurriness encroaching his vision. He managed to grasp his best friend's cheek, weak fingers brushing away the falling tears. "I'm sorry--"

"No! You don't get to be sorry," Shang Qinghua tried to sneer but his face crumpled instead. He didn't shake off Shen Yuan's hand. "This is the second time you're leaving. That's all you know how to do, isn't it? All you do is run away!"

"Qinghua--" Shen Yuan tried to say, but began to cough, hand falling away. The pain was unbearable and it was making it difficult to take in air. Shang Qinghua immediately reached out to steady him as Shen Yuan hacked out his lungs. In between each new flare of pain that swam along with every cough, Shen Yuan could make out the mumbles of his best friend.

"I didn't mean it, please, I didn't mean it, please not now, I didn't mean to say that, I'm sorry, please, please..."

This was familiar. The pain, the loss of breath, even his best friend beside him, keeping him upright. All that was missing was the hospital bed and the frantic beeping of machines. No nurses coming to save his ass now in this forest.

Shen Yuan briefly lost consciousness and when he came back to himself, vision clearing a little, he found Shang Qinghua holding his wrist, pouring more qi into him. As if they hadn't already discovered that qi transfers didn't work when the thing taking all of his was the poison of a Soul-Sucking Bewildered-beest. Shang Qinghua could've tried to get him back to the sect but Shen Qingqiu would have been long drained of qi and, most importantly, dead by then. He couldn't fly and transfer qi at the same time.

It only prolonged the inevitable.

"S-stop," he said, weakly pushing at Shang Qinghua's hand. The other ignored him. "You're gonna d-drain yourself. And then you won't be able to get back at all."

"I don't care," Shang Qinghua said. Shen Yuan wondered how long he had lost consciousness for, as the tear tracks on Shang Qinghua's face were now mostly dry. "You promised."

"I know," Shen Yuan didn't apologize again. "But you know it's not gonna work. And I'd rather you return, at least." He could feel his eyelids getting heavy.

Shang Qinghua let go of him only to throw up his hands in anger. Fresh tears were starting to spill down his cheeks again. "So what? I just leave you here to die without even trying?" He balled up his fists. "Typical. You always think that your actions won't affect other people."

Shen Yuan got the sense that Shang Qinghua was referring to something else, but his mind was starting to get too muddy to think of what. Breathing was getting a little harder. A lot harder.

"Qinghua. A-Hua, please listen to me. C-could you come kneel down next to me? Right here." He waited until Shang Qinghua lowered himself a bit, still frowning, before gently placing his forehead against the other peak lord's. "Listen to me, okay? I know I broke my promise again. But you've found me before and I trust you'll find me again." He said between gasps of air.

"A-Yuan--"

"We've met again and again... and we'll keep meeting. I k-know it." Gasp. Cough. "Beyond all ideas of... right and wrong, there's a field." Vision dimming. Grasp slackening. "I'll be... waiting for you... there."

"A-Yuan?"

"..."

"A-Yuan!?"

"..."

A wail broke through the serenity of the forest.

Announcer: Welcome everybody to the 37th Annual Shen Yuan Shipping Competition, the game show where we go to multiple universes to see who is able to seduce their very own Shen Yuan

Announcer: This universe's winner is Shang Qinghua, author and god of these very worlds!

Announcer: Tell me Shang Qinghua, what motivated you to seduce your Cucumber-Bro?

Shang Qinghua: I thought it would be funny to piss everyone off

Announcer: A classic Shang Qinghua. Now, how does this universe's Shen Yuan feel about his choice?

Shen Yuan: I will never forgive that bastard for making me fall for him

"Why are you putting this on me?" Shang Qinghua whined, face twisting attractively. Wow, Shen Qingqiu did not realize he looked that pretty from the outside. "I'm not responsible for every single thing that happens, okay!"

Shen Qingqiu glared at him before turning around and flouncing back into Shang Qinghua's bedchambers to try and figure out how to put his hair up. His friend's hair was pretty similar to Binghe's, but he had never had to do it for himself before. Shang Qinghua followed him, idly playing with his favorite fan.

A blue screen flickered in front of him as soon as they both stepped inside.

[Scenario started: Shizun Swap! Hosts have switched bodies and they must find a way to switch back or risk being stuck like this forever!]

"What."

[Good luck, Host!]

No amount of threats brought the shitty thing back. Shen Qingqiu didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Why did the Systems love to torment them like this?

"Cucumber-bro!" Shang Qinghua whispered fiercely, pounding on the door. "Bro, open up!"

He smiled nervously at an An Ding disciple peering at him from behind a stack of scrolls. Upon seeing the disciple's eyes widen, he quickly blanked his face, though he continued to sweat nervously.

Right, he wasn't allowed to do anything but stare menacingly or smirk right now, while in this body.

Finally, the door opened a crack and a hand reached out to grab him by the robes, pulling him inside. Shang Qinghua quickly smoothed out his now-crumpled green robes and looked up, coming face to face with... himself.

"Shang Qinghua. What the fuck did you do?" Shen Qingqiu asked, hazel eyes flashing.

"Cucumber-bro!" Shang Qinghua whispered fiercely, pounding on the door. "Bro, open up!"

He smiled nervously at an An Ding disciple peering at him from behind a stack of scrolls. Upon seeing the disciple's eyes widen, he quickly blanked his face, though he continued to sweat nervously.

Right, he wasn't allowed to do anything but stare menacingly or smirk right now, while in this body.

Finally, the door opened a crack and a hand reached out to grab him by the robes, pulling him inside. Shang Qinghua quickly smoothed out his now-crumpled green robes and looked up, coming face to face with... himself.

"Shang Qinghua. What the fuck did you do?" Shen Qingqiu asked, hazel eyes flashing.

Shang Qinghua: Ugh, my waist really hurts.

Shen Qingqiu: Did we go too hard last night?

Shang Qinghua: YES! Didn't you hear me beg to slow down????

Shen Qingqiu: Oh, I thought you were just crying for attention as always?

The Other Peak Lords: What the fuck is going on.

Last Night

Shang Qinghua: BRO THIS HURTS!!! PLEASE HAVE MERCY!!

Shen Qingqiu: No can do, bro. *flicks Twister spinner* Left hand on red.

Shen Yuan is actually a cuddle bug. Had a ton of Luo Binghe body pillows back home not just for the merch reasons but because he needs something in his bed to squeeze when he's sleeping.

Since he started having weekly planning (boozing and bitching) sessions with Shang Qinghua, he sometimes accidentally sleeps over. After he's finished his paperwork and started on some of Qinghua's, sometimes the wine gets to him and he's just so sleepy. Or, sometimes, Shang Qinghua will let the other read some of the short stories he had written early on in his transmigration when fighting to not lose his mind. Shen Yuan would critique them, before harassing him to publish them anonymously.

("Oh, so you are capable of writing more than papapa trash."

"Aw, you like it?" "...it's good." 🙄)

But by the time he finished them, it would be so late, and it didn't make much sense to leave when a bed was right there. And Shang Qinghua had custom ordered goose feather pillows and blankets, which was so unlike his porcelain pillows, and Shang Qinghua himself is right there. Therefore. The man himself becomes his new object of comfort when asleep.

At first, Shang Qinghua used to just wave it off. Then he started to playfully complain and tease about how clingy Shen Yuan was in his sleep, and Shen Yuan would grumble and turn bright red and turn his back on him... only for them to wake up with Shen Yuan basically curled around the other like an octopus in the morning. And then it just became normal because, of course, they really only had each other, so like why not? It brought them both comfort and two people could totally cuddle platonically.

Before long, more than half the week, Shen Yuan was spending the night over, and some rare times, Shang Qinghua goes to the bamboo house. Shang Qinghua learns when to give up his piles of paperwork when his friend starts getting tired and to get more fucking rest himself. Otherwise, Shen Yuan will just walk in, curl up on his lap with his head resting on Shang Qinghua's shoulder, and fall asleep there.

("Really? I ordered those extra stuffed pillows for you, you know. Go to bed, I'll be done in a minute."

"Ugh, shut up, sleeping isn't the same when you're out here ordering new fighting posts for Bai Zhan Peak for the 5th time this month. I'll just wait here for you to finish."

"In my lap...? That's kinda gay--" 😏

"Qinghua."

"Shutting up and finishing the work." )

Those of An Ding Peak, being the peak that was basically the backbone of the entire sect and kept it running through sweat, blood, and some other bodily fluids, knew how to keep secrets from other peaks. You don't become a disciple there without knowing how to keep your mouth shut when outsiders are around. But between each other, whispers abound.

"I don't think Shen-shibo has left in two days," one disciple murmurs to another when they see Shen Qingqiu flouncing around yet again, ordering one of the disciples to bring some two small meals to their Shifu's rooms for a late dinner.

"Do you think they're... you know?" Another asks quietly after delivering some new contracts to their Shifu. The door to his bedroom had been slightly ajar, and through the cracks, green leaf-pattern outer robes were on the ground.

("I'm not sleeping in these, okay! You should have written in pajamas while you were busy adding in chocolate, and whatever else doesn't exist in Ancient China, to PIDW!" 😒

"Oh my god, just sleep in your inner robes, then! Better yet, borrow some of my clothes. But you're sure as fuck not sleeping naked on my silk sheets, bro!")

The disciples on Qing Jing Peak certainly notice when the bamboo hut isn't occupied for the night. At first, they just thought that their Shizun was extra silent in his house now, but once, Ming Fan had to go to Shizun for a small issue late in the evening, and he wasn't there. Nor was he there the next night, or the next. They're not sure where he is, or what he's doing, but he's always there in the morning, so they don't worry too much.

On the fourth night, Shizun was home, but Shang-shishu was also there. And... stayed there. The lights went out, and the disciples who were sent out to spy came back and reported that Shang-shishu had never left.

("He... is Shang-shishu still in there?"

"I think so. M-maybe he stayed in the extra bedroom?"

"..." 👀

"..." 👀)

The disciples eye each other and simultaneously agree to never let those outside the peak know about this. When crossing paths with A Ding disciples, there are discreet looks and nods of understanding, and they pass each other by with not a word.

(Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua?)

----

One bright and sunny morning, Liu Qingge slams his way into Shang Qinghua's office. He is followed by Mu Qingfang, and Yue Qingyuan, all needing to speak with Shang Qingqua to figure out Shen Qingqiu's whereabouts. He wasn't in his bamboo hut this morning, nor was he anywhere else that he typically frequented.

Mu Qingfang because it was time for his bimonthly check-up to ensure that his treatments with Liu Qingge were progressing as they should. Yue Qingyuan due to peak matters (though, technically, he could do it on his own, but if he got to see Xiao Jiu--). Liu Qingge because the beast that he had dropped on his doorstep yesterday afternoon had yet to be removed, which was odd. And also, he had ordered new fighting posts a week ago, and usually they would have been delivered by now, which was also odd.

Wei Qingwei and Qi Qingqi also follow along because they could smell drama. And also they were a tiny bit worried about their shixiong. Whenever he disappeared for too long, it was likely that he had gotten kidnapped or poisoned. Again.

Shang Qinghua scrambles out of his bed chambers with hastily thrown-on outer robes, blurry-eyed, screaming "Whoosit!?" He barely has time to open his mouth before he is instantly bombarded with several requests, most of them pertaining to the apparent missing peak lord. Liu Qingge also asks about his fighting posts, which Shang Qinghua pretends not to hear.

"We've not seen him in a few days," Mu Qingfang says to him over the noise, with an apologetic smile for waking up his overworked shixiong. "I know you two are somewhat friends, so if you see him soon, please tell him he really needs to come to Qian Cao for his next physical."

"Wait, who's missing? Ah, please don't touch that." The last part is directed at Qi Qingqi, who is combing through his shelves. "Shen Qingqiu is apparently missing, according to this bunch," Qi Qingqi says, smirking at him. She pokes the figurine he told her not to touch. Oh well, she'll realize why he told her not to touch it soon enough.

"Shen Qingqiu? What do you mean, he's--" Shang Qinghua instantly closes his mouth, hoping that no one heard that. "I-I mean, yeah, I'll let you guys know if he stops by! No problem, will absolutely send him your way--" "What was that?" Liu Qingge narrows his eyes at him. "You were about to say something. You know where he is. Tell me."

Shang Qinghua begins to sweat immediately. "Whaaat? No, you must have heard wrong. Seriously, I'll let you guys know if I catch him. Now, if you guys can be on your way--" He starts trying to herd people out.

Unbeknownst to him, his bedroom door cracks open and a figure, eyes barely open, shuffles out and heads towards him. Wei Qingwei, idling in the office, is the first to notice the person wearing another set of An Ding Blue outer robes over soft Qing Jing Green inner ones. His jaw drops.

"Qinghua?" A soft, sleepy voice murmurs in his ear, arms circling around his waist and a head laying on his shoulder from behind. "It's too early, come back to bed." A small yawn.

Shang Qinghua can feel himself freeze with a nervous smile on his face.

Shit.