Dark Charade - Blog Posts

As a matter of fact...

A well-known fixture of the Arcanokinetics department of the College of Arcana at the University of Celestial Secrets is a stuffed plush rabbit, of the kind colloquially called a "bunny friend," the Haradine cultural equivalent of a Teddy bear.

It sits - or rather, slumps - on a plinth in the middle of the main lecture hall, and is used as a demonstration and practice target for spells. Many, many spells. It is patched and fraying and threadbare and stained, and has a small embroidered College of Arcana emblem sewn to its chest where a Reader would have his badge. All and sundry call it "M'lord Bun," and address it and refer to it as if it were a fiefholding lord and member of the faculty.

M'lord Bun is occasionally repaired or reverted, from his many misadventures, by members of the Temporal department of the College. Only very rarely is he mended in the mundane fashion by skilled service staff.

The Lord Bun legend has grown over the centuries, to the point, in the 5th age, which the various funerals and "retirements" of unrecoverable Lord Buns are important historical landmarks in College lore, and M'lord Bun is now a senior member of the faculty, and officiates over certain ceremonies (notably the Japery in mid-March), and often joins the Deans in their viewing box or at high table for special occasions. A chain of office is nowadays embroidered around M'lord Bun's fluffy neck.

It is not strictly true that the Wizard Brismeister was given a Dire Notice of Censure for beheading Lord Bun in year 197 of the Fourth Age. The stated reason was, in fact, for "failing to maintain the decorum required of his position." Brismeister never again read arcanokinesis, or any other subject, at the University, despite remaining a Senior Reader of Arcana, and he resigned from his post in 201. His eponymized Whirling Blade spell, although adopted immediately at Sloeberries, was not taught at Celestial until 210.

Upon Lord Bun's magical beheading, the students in attendance declared him dead on the spot, and petitioned the Master to appoint a new Lord. That was the origin of the current M'lord Bun, who has greeted the arrival of the so-called Fifth Age with characteristic inscrutability.

Less magic schools. More magic universities. Unlearn the simplified models of your secondary education. Discover how to reference scrolls written by a wizard possessed by a different wizard. Identify bias in the voices that whisper from beyond the veil. Have your institution be accused of promoting a Merlinist agenda. Become addicted to energy potions.

Full disclosure, I've never actually seen Melancholia, but from your video, I arrived at a very different interpretation of Justine's character… it occurred to me that, if someone was used to hearing that the world was doomed, and had both ruined their own life with their actions and come to full acceptance of the fact that they had nobody to blame but themselves for their situation, that discovering that the entire planet genuinely IS doomed, in short order and quite demonstrably… wouldn't that come as a great relief? None of the guilt or crises would matter any more, because the advent of Melancholia would be so much more immediate… and since nobody can do anything about it, there would be no pressure to try, no pressure to be "productive."

It doesn't quite meet the definition of sanity in the ordinary sense, but when inevitable doom is rushing towards the entire planet, I kind of think the definition of "sanity" would shift, as values and priorities shift, because most of what we think matters… would suddenly no longer matter.

On a weirder note, I used cosmic bliss-horror when I put unicorns into my original high-fantasy worldbuilding project. In that world, unicorns are fearsome interdimensional incursions that cannot abide the impurity of the world's setting… Mesmerizingly beautiful, but lethal without exception. But they also contain a Mr. Toots reference, because I simply cannot help myself. Yes, my unicorn's ultimate ability is a discharge of superheated, rainbow-colored plasma (B308), shot out of its ass. But it's magical plasma, and when it burns you right to the bone, you fall under the Ecstasy spell (M139) as an affliction.

Who's afraid of the big bad eldritch horror?

And what happens when you're not? We made a video on it!