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Deadpool: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Peter recently. Y/N: No, Deadpool, it's not what it looks like, I swear. Deadpool: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous? Y/N: No! You’re the only one for me. Deadpool: Is that so? Y/N: I promise! Peter and I are just dating, okay? He's my boyfriend. Deadpool: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved? Y/N: You are still my one and only best friend! he's just the love of my life, nothing more! Deadpool: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right? Y/N: Of course bro! Deadpool: Bro... Peter: What the-
Y/N, in line at a coffee shop: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with uhh, seven espresso shots?
Wade, right behind them: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.