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How I picture Brucie Wayne’s birth in the battinson universe.
8yr old Dick Grayson: so B I gotta ask
Battinson: hn
8yr old newly Robin Dick Grayson: do you really think that people don’t suspect the crazy Rich secluded billionaire who disappeared for years to be Batman and then takes in a child only for ‘I’m vengeance’ to appear with a child at the same time.
Battinson: hnnn
DG: nonono like no offense but like don’t you think it’s a little …obvious… like marvel movies exist..
Battinson: hnnn what do you propose I do then?
DG: duh you gotta make sure it’s impossible for you to be Batman
Battinson: hmm so I should plan an event where we are both spot-
DG: get drunk and swim in a fountain
Battinson: ???
DG: if Bruce Wayne is dumb he can’t be Batman
Battinson: Bruce Wayne is the head of one the most successful companies in the worl-
DG nodding along: yep all thanks to the amazing help he hired to do the work for him while he search for the cure to polio in the Sahara desert
Battinson: the polio vaccine already exists Dick
DG hand placed on forehead like a fainting damsel: oh it’s so sad about poor Brucie you know, dumb as a rock that one. Didn’t get an ounce of his parents intelligence thank god he got lucky enough that the people he surrounds himself with are loyal to his parents and aren’t stealing money from him.
Battinson: Robin I’m really not followi-
DG rolling his eyes and grabbing B’s face: I’m telling you to play himbo with heart of gold. If people think you’re sweet and pathetic, they’ll (A) underestimate you (B) not question why you disappear for months (C) pathetic good looking idiots get sympathy points.
Battinson: and how would you know this
DG who got adopted by a billionaire who won’t say no to anything he says bc puppy dog eyes: …….
Battinson: …fair point
DG: worlds greatest Detective he says