End Of Days - Blog Posts

The End of Days

As the prophecies have fortold One will come with harsh truths and onerous tasks.

I have received a vision of a New Jerusalem, where all believers in the Lord can sing His praise in peace and relative harmony.

the sight of this New Jerusalem will please the Lord and He will reveal Himself to Mankind on that Judgement Day. He will show mercy and kindness to those who strive to fulfill His plan and wrath upon those that arrest and delay those engaged in righteous action.

A New Vision

As the plan was revealed to me, so I will faithfully describe here:

First we must remove those revered buildings and artifacts from the present Jerusalem. Reasonable time must be set aside for a cursory archeological examination of the site once structures have been removed/demolished, but in accordance with the iconoclastic nature of the Lord's plan: a' Grab the best and torch the rest' policy, shall be employed.

The largest task in preparing the present Jerusalem, will be the removal of 1500tonnes of the carved ot 'Rock',the holy of hollies,the Axis Mundi. This most precious monolith must be removed in one piece. A ramp of rubble shall be constructed to transport the stone out of the city with all due ceremony to a safe and suitably auspicious location.

Then with heavy hearts we must evacuate a 30km radius zone around the city in preparation for Armageddon.

Armageddon

Months and weeks before the big day, boreholes will be sunk in and around the city. The position and depth of each will be modelled by our best supercomputer. Each shall be anointed with the appropriate yield of nuclear device for its holy task. Finally galleries under the city will be filled with high silica sand, awaiting its conversion.

The nuclear devices will be removed from weapons dumps under international observers. Operation swords into plowshears.

The final 'Iain M. Banks' memorial explosion will vaporise Zion and the heat of fission will meld the sand into a huge vitrified bowl. Fallout will exist but localised mask wearing and Iodine tablets will mitigate most effects. Bonus for the environment: dust emitted should have a slight global cooling effect overall.

A New Jerusalem

When the dust has settled and the spoil removed to the holy desert, construction will begin at once. Homes for the righteous in all their forms. Boulevards for the pilgrims. Hostels for the weary. Temples for all the faithful, each in their measure. A multicultural resource centre.

And in the centre, the sacred Lake Adam. A vitrified marvel, perfectly circular and at its very centre the Axis Mundi, the Celestial Pole on Earth.

Huge barges shall be constructed. One for the Monolith; one for the new Al-Axa mosque; one for the new temple; one for the Christians and one for the worshippers of Apollo. These barges shall have their itinerary decided by the calender of festivities. Sharing the time spent moored over the celestial pole. Each structure upon the barge shall weigh no more than 1500tonnes.

The Memorial

Upon the shores of the lake to the direct south shall be erected an impressive statue of me, (who else?). The statue will be forged from resistant alloys and cast with such perfection that 20million years of Entropy have been driven from its molecular structure.

The statue's attitude will have its ass facing Mecca, dick towards Rome and a single finger pointing to Heaven.

Upon its visage, a look of scorn and mockery, will look down upon the faithful.

Its base will be buried so deep into the Crust, thatit actually floats on the Æthsenosphere. It will be coated in a new material which absorbs all visible light and emirs only Infrared. On hot days,it will shimmer in its own heat haze, other times merely a forboding shadow. Don't touch it: it burns. Don't stare at it: its eyes emit microwaves, which slowly cook flesh. Its purpose will be revealed.

When this plan has been completed, Humanity will be blessed with peace, prosperity and a global GDP growth rate of 3 to 6%, as per the National Worthiness Scale.

And the Lord shall be pleased.

True Future

And so in 12million years,(~30seconds in Cosmic R.E.M. state), our Lord shall awaken and go down to survey Creation.

Amidst the alluviums of concrete and silica, sit eroded agglomerates of metamorphosed bricks. Mudstone cliffs shed fossils of memory devices, all power gone.

But as the Lord walks amidst the wilderness, He treads upon a spike. In pain He looks down to see a shaft topped with a statue of me giving Him the finger. And at that point, the whole of Humanity's true purpose is revealed:

Up Yours God

PS: Dare You to do it again, (only my way next time).

Yours in anticipation of great events.

The Antichrist.