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Having a strong sense of self is really important. Not having it means getting easily swept away in other peoples intentions, and not realising until later on.
What well meaning “trust your gut” and “engage your empathy” people do not understand is that when empathy is overly high, a sense of self is lacking, and there is no “trust your gut”, there is only the other person, making it impossible to feel or see what is going on in real time.
It is for this reason that I created this simple scale, which I call The Scales of Empathy and Narcissism. I like the idea of balance, but would like to point out that this tool would be used in a non obsessive way as something to refer to in the need of self reflection or understanding a situation. Put simply, it is a self development tool.
Each side are the total extremes of what they are, with a nice, easy going balance found somewhere in the middle.
Empathy <---- balanced -----> Narcissism
Over Caring <---- balanced ----> Under Caring
Oneness <---- balanced ----> Individuality
Humility <---- balanced ----> Arrogance
Using this basic scale on an inward basis means that I can see where I myself might be tilting towards less than optimal living, and when observing somebody else, or someone that I am just not quite sure about, the scale serves to remind me of the real world dangers of continuing any interaction with that person, or even business and establishment.
I find it is a good tool for looking at my own sense of self and understanding where my habitual tilt is so that I could understand more, and recognise who I really am as opposed to what any serial projectors might be saying.
The real key to all of the extremes on the scale is in the first one. By finding a comfortable place of balance that is suited to who you are as an individual person, an optimal way of living can be found.. after all, too much of anything can be a bad thing.
Stay excellent :-)
© Saturday 19th Feb 2022