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My chronic pain has gotten worse every winter for the past 4ish years. And not just a flare up that goes away again but permanently worse. And I don't know if it's simply a coincidence that it happens every winter but I'm so nervous and scared because it's getting cold again.
im having a flare up of back pain at school and im afraid to stand up because i know that as soon as my backpack touches my back that my vision will go black again, and a bolt of lightning will shoot up my spine again, and ill feel like im falling when im not again, and i already have a headache from the fluorescents again
and i cant go to the nurse again, because shell send me home again, and i cant get behind again, not with a history test tomorrow and a math cumulative thurday and a science quiz also on thursday
and im so fucking tired and i wish i hadnt gotten up this morning and i just want to go home and watch a movie with a heating pad on or just fall asleep forever