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Hear me out-
A Muppet’s Midsummer Night’s Dream
Theseus, Hippolyta, Lysander, Hermia, Helena and Demetrius are all esteemed Shakespearean actors who keep to the original script, whilst all the fairies and some of the mechanicals are muppets muppeting about with the occasional soliloquy.
I present to you my vision:
Gonzo as Oberon
Believe me when I tell you Gonzo has RANGE. I think his background as an alien will help him embody the more mystical elements of Oberon and we know from his performance as the narrator in a Muppets Christmas Carol he’s a natural leading man.
Rizzo as Puck
Name a more iconic duo than Gonzo and Rizzo the rat? You can’t- of course you fucking can’t. Their chemistry is off the charts, celestial dare I say, platonic soulmates the like of which us mere mortals cannot comprehend. On top of the incredible back and forth they’ll bring to Oberon and Puck, Rizzo has a sense of mischief and is just the right amount of a whimsy can’t do nothing right boy to bring a really endearing vision of Puck to the stage.
Miss Piggy as Titania
Is it controversial to pair up Miss Piggy with someone who’s not her usual leading man? Sure, but bear with me I have a vision. Oberon and Titania are at odds for most of the play and I can definitely see a world in which Miss Piggy beats his ass in front of all the other fairies. Also the role of a glamorous ethereal queen? Are you kidding? Miss Piggy is going to body this role heart and soul.
Kermit as Bottom
Remember when I told you to bear with me? I would never break up a duo like Kermit and his beloved Miss Piggy, are you mad? Bottom and Titania spend the whole play smooching and mucking about with the fairies, not only do these two have the chemistry but it also gives Miss Piggy a chance to serenade her beloved Kermie. The casting also works on a meta level with Kermit playing an over ambitious actor somewhat hemmed in by an eccentric troupe. The only question is with the iconic transformation scene, do we cast a human actor who turns into Kermit, or do we just have regular ole Kermit with some donkey ears? I need the thoughts of the public desperately.
The Mechanicals:
Fozzie Bear as Snug
Waka, waka
Beaker as Francis Flute
Literally his worst nightmare is playing Thisbe.
Pepe the Prawn as Robin Starveling
Just a weird lil guy pretending to be moonlight
Bunsen as Tom Snout
Tom Snouts a tinker- plus he can do Pyramus and Thisbe’s special effects
Scooter as Peter Quince
Typical theatre manager energy.
The Fairies:
The Chickens as Titania’s Attendants
To be honest I can see the Henson company making a lot of cool original puppets for the fairies but you can’t have the muppets without some dancing chickens.
Janice and Animal should also get special cameos as Peaseblossom and Mustardseed respectively and naturally Waldorf and Statler show up to heckle Pyramus and Thisbe at the end.
Disney- make it happen
Coming back to this because these are all the other musicals that should be recast with muppets:
1. Rent
Everyone is a muppet except the evil landlord, self explanatory, done. (I don’t know enough about rent to cast this one tbh but I think Scooter would be an excellent mark)
2. The Phantom of the Opera
The count is the phantom (join me in a fantasy world where the muppets and Sesame Street gang cross over- or it could also just be Gonzo I guess I like the idea of him as a homewrecker) miss piggy is Christine, kermit is raoul and the only humans are Meg and her mother. Additional cast members could be scooter as the stage manager, per the usual, Fozzie Bear as that one Italian opera singer but instead of singing he just wants to tell his jokes, Gonzo as Carlotta in a wig and statler and Waldorf as themselves heckling the opera
3. Jesus Christ Superstar
Hear me out ok, this one may be controversial, but miss piggy is Jesus, the slightly jaded, undeniable star of the show, and kermit is Judas, undeniably in love with her, but tired of her hogging the spotlight and feels she’s turned her back on what the muppets are really about. Beaker is Peter because he also looks like he would nope out when shit goes down and deny miss piggy, and Mary Magdalene should be played by renowned Broadway actress Philips Sousa because I just think that would be really cool if she hasn’t already played that role
4. Sweeney Todd
In which the animal plays unhinged sweeney todd, judge Turpin is Sam the eagle, miss piggy is Johanna, kermit is Anthony, and miss Lovett is played by Janice, who while I think lacks the manic energy needed for the role, would be a good chilled out foil to animal and bring a new flavour to the character of the crazy character who’s so deluded they make their actions seem almost sane
5. Little Shop of Horrors
I’m sorry I know I keep casting them as the two leads but kermit and miss piggy were born to play Audrey and Seymour, it is a pair that cannot be topped. The only change this makes to the original is that we all know miss piggy takes no shit so I think the stuff with the dentist (still played by Steve Martin because you can’t improve upon perfection) is a misinterpretation and she actually beats the ever living shit out of him for disrespecting her. Rizzo the rat should play the slimey businessman who buys Audrey Two, Statler and Waldorf are collectively mr mushnik, the chorus should also be human but I think the piece de resistance would be the Swedish chef as Audrey two and all the world is his chicken, and all the world should be deeply, deeply, afraid.
Tell me in the comments if I missed anyone or you have any casting ideas yourself!!
This has definitely been pitched before, but petition for a remake of les miserables where everyone is a muppet except Javert
gonzo queer icon
MUPPETS FROM SPACE (1999)
Miss Piggy-Piggy Carter
Kermit the Frog-Steve Frogers
Fozzie Bear-Bucky Bear
Bonus:
Gonzo-Helmut Gonzemo