Your gateway to endless inspiration
You remind me of an old seer who resides in a cave, and when young travelers seek you out in search of knowledge, you just sigh and say "I cannot give you what you want, for I speak the ugly truth, and you've come in search of beautiful lies."
But like a few travellers refuse to leave so now you have a ragtag group of starry-eyed listeners who hear out your prophecies and ask you questions, knowing the answer will most certainly be "Bella dies."
And occasionally an outsider comes along, asking about the Cullen's dog and Jacob's redemption, and all of your listeners shake their heads as your eyes begin to glow a burning, terrifying blue, and you say those unholy words, words that have brought monarchs to their knees and caused God to weep.
"Write the fic, anon."
...
I think you win the blog for the month, anon.