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He's Such An Idiot (affectionate) - Blog Posts

3 months ago

Here’s my take on Max Jägerman - he is NOT the progressive bully that asks Pete’s pronouns before beating the shit out of him, what he IS is a dumbass.

For example he’ll overhear Caitlyn (Cool Kid™️ so he respects her) talking to Kyle about taking her estrogen and assume it’s a drug and ask for a hit. Kyle and Caitlyn, confused, explain that it’s a hormone girls devolop that guys don’t have to the same level, and Caitlyn obviously has less so takes supplemental doses. Max thinks this means Caitlyn has a medical condition and is like “Oh my god dude I’m so sorry you’re sick? Do you like go to the hospital? Nah I’m not trying to take anyone’s meds my bad bro,” and Caitlyn is too dumbfounded and also entertained to correct him.

Later, in the case that he does not fall and die, Max eventually apologizes to Richie for all the times he punched him in the balls. Richie goes “it’s chill - besides, I don’t even have balls, so it didn’t even hurt as much as you though”. Max is MORTIFIED with sympathy “You don’t have balls?? Oh my god dude how come?” Ruth without a beat says he lost them in a tragic accident many years ago and Max fully believes her. Richie goes along for the bit.

Even further along the line, Max asks about the trans flag on Richie’s bag and Richie explains it’s for people who were born the wrong gender and want to change. Max goes “Wait dude you want to be a girl? Shittt why didn’t you tell me?! Do you have a new name or something like that? Like…Richietta?”

The real progressive bullies, obviously, are pre-Max’s death Kyle and Jason, who apologize before beating someone up and then defend their pronouns in the same breath.


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