Histories - Blog Posts

DID YOU KNOW THIS IN BRAZILIAN FOLKLORE?

There's a history in Brazilian Folklore called Zé Malandro, one of the histories compiled in the book "Contos de Enganar a Morte" (tales to deceive Death), a book that tells histories about People who tried to cheat on Death.

On the final of the book, there's the history of Zé Malandro, a man who is known of being a very smart and tricky bastard. In the history he is visited by Saint Peter, who wants to save his soul, so he gives to Zé 3 Wishes. Zé then spends the 3 Witches in 3 magical Itens:

1-A Mango Tree wich anyone who climb it will be stuck until he lets The person leaves;

2-A Bench wich anyone who Sit on it will be unable to get up until he lets The Person leaves;

3-A Bag big enough to trap 2 People inside of it, and anyone inside of it wont be able to get out until he lets The Person leaves.

So he lived his life normally, and Death arrived. So he asked for his last wish, wich was a mango from The tree in his Garden. When death climbed The Tree, she got stuck in there for days, until she promised to give to Zé Malandro more years of Life. And only then he let her go.

Years passed, Death decided not to come in fear of falling in another trick, so who she asked for help?

Exactly. The Devil. She asked The Devil to go talk to Zé Malandro and take him to Hell, but Zé Malandro asked for a last card game before going to hell. When The Devil sat on the bench to play The card game, he got stuck and stayed in there for months until he promised to let Zé Malandro Live for some more years. And only then Zé Malandro let him go. So when The Devil Went back to Hell, he met a very angry woman awaiting for him.

His WIFE.

She was angry not only that he left for months but also that he let a human get the best on him. So she said that now they both would get Zé Malandro and drag him to Hell.

However, Zé Malandro left a trap for them both: an open Window, where they Fell inside...

The BAG.

Both the Devil and his Wife got trapped inside The Bag and Zé Malandro beat them with a stick for days until they decided to leave him Alone. So when Zé Malandro opened The bag both The Devil and his wife fled to Hell running to Never came back.

One day then, Zé Malandro decided to die. But when he Went to heaven, Saint Peter kicked him out saying he rejected salvation and a place in heaven just for 3 magical itens. When he went to hell, The Devil closed The Door on his face and both him and his wife screamed:

FUCK OFF!

So with no place to go, Zé Malandro came back to Life and just spend his days with his 3 magical itens, playing cards, drinking booze and Making friends. Like an Immortal Grandpa.

I just love this history because its so fucking funny. An old dude beat both The devil family and death at the same time.

How would this go in Hazbin? I really wanna know.