Your gateway to endless inspiration
“Baby, you told me that you never really liked sex. You said you only ever wanted it because you thought you should, as a man. But then mummy helped you realise you’re not a man, you’re just a baby boy. And baby boys don’t have sex do they? No. Can you remember what they do have? That’s right, humpies! What a clever boy! Why don’t you have humpies with the corner of the couch here. You’ll have a lovely view of mummy’s legs as she watches television.”
“Baby you know your peeny is too small for sex. Take your frillies off, get on all fours and you can have two minutes of humpies with mummy’s hand. But you won’t need that long will you?”