I'm Ok - Blog Posts

Shin being the only one for 4.99€??? This is slander 😭😭

Jon sims as a splatoon character

Strange Occurrences

I woke up last night with somewhat of an existential crisis? I was blinking but I couldn't feel it. I was breathing, but it didn't feel right. Like I didn't need to breathe to keep living. It was an odd experience, but I just kinda went back to sleep.

I woke up again around 4am. I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I sleep with the teddy bear I got from a friend on Valentine's day. But like. I woke up and it was sitting straight up, hanging off of the couch somewhat by its heart at the front. Staring in my direction. I have a fear of dolls or anything doll-like in general, so I chucked it onto the table.

It was hard to go back to sleep. I had this looming sense of dread wash over me, like someone was around. I was so scared, I woke up my dog for comfort just so I could get up and turn the lights on...

It smells like pure gasoline. It's nice for a short while, but it's overpowering...

Hello Everyone :)

I'm bad at introductions, so I'll try to keep this simple.

My name is Ivan and I'm an artist. I'm 19 years old and use he/ him pronouns. If you'd like to know more about me, don't hesitate to shoot an ask my way.

Have a wonderful day :) 💛

It's gonna be a bad day.

I wish I was still sick.

I'm staying home.

It doesn't feel right.

I don't like this.

It doesn't matter.

I swear I'm trying to change whatever's wrong with me.

It gets hard when the happier I am the less ok I feel.

When the more I let myself hug my friends the more being touched makes me want to hurl.

The more I care about everyone else, the less I care about myself.

The less I let them hate themselves the more I hate myself.

I try to work outside in but It feels more like turning myself inside out.

Why is it so hard for me to like myself half as much as I love everyone else?

Why is it so difficult to care about myself yet so easy to take care of everyone else?

Why do I feel like I'm giving myself away

Why do I feel like they hate me

Why do I feel so hopeless

Why do I feel so lost

Why can't I feel anything...?

Please, for the love of god, let me smile and breathe at the same time

Let me actually feel all those emotions I was promised

Someone make me less selfish.