Jake X Neytiri - Blog Posts

What Do I Tell My Friends Family? Pt. 6

word count: 4003

Pairing: Recom! Miles! Quaritch x Female! Sully! Na'vi! Reader Tags/Warnings: hurt, comfort, feels, lots of crying

Author's Note: Apologies in advance for any grammatical errors! Hope you enjoy this next installment :)))

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The weeks that followed could only be described as uncomfortable. Those of the clan gave you and Quaritch a wide berth. You did not miss their obvious sneers, nor the harsh whispers under their breath. Yet you cannot find it in yourself to fault them; such a reaction was more than understandable, perhaps even warranted.

The humans were far more courteous, even those with Avatars; but they too kept it to what was minimal etiquette. You noticed though, that they were far more cordial with the other recoms. You watched them converse with each other, animatedly talking about something or rather. It made you envious, a feeling you knew all too well.

Quaritch tells you not to worry; says it doesn’t bother him. But you wondered how much weight such words truly held. You’re thankful he and the recoms at least have each other, as bittersweet as it was. On the nights where you would eat dinner with your family, he and his squad ate together in one of their dwellings; the night filled with reminiscing of lives past and wishes for the future. Their revelry is downright infectious, and you often excuse yourself early to join them. It fills your heart with unbridled warmth to see Spider with them too. More often than not he would also join when it was just you and Quaritch alone.

At one point you had gathered all your siblings together, sitting them down and giving them a less graphic (for Tuk’s benefit) retelling of you and your mate’s meeting and eventual courtship. Your brothers, bless them, treated you no different, told you that they didn’t care and were happy for you. When you cornered them afterwards to speak privately, you wept and wept, thanks spilling from your lips over and over again.

They reiterated once more that they were just happy you came back alive and well. Regardless of the less-than-ideal circumstances surrounding your introduction to one another, and his sordid history, they were simply happy you had found your one true mate. Moreover, as far as they were concerned, if Eywa herself deemed it necessary to get this involved in your lives, then she must see something in him. If she could forgive him for his sins, then who were they to hold it against him? He paid his price in blood.

Sweet little Tuk; everything that had happened was perhaps a little too big for such a young mind, but you tried to explain yourself as best as you can to such a young one. She hummed in thought, called you and your mate weird, but if he made you happy like dad makes mum happy, then he must be okay. She was also the only one of your siblings that wanted to actually speak with Quaritch face to face.

You were reluctant, afraid of how mother might react. But little Tuk is rambunctious in nature. She barged in one night when you and Quaritch were having dinner with Spider. Hands on her hips she proclaimed with unwavering authority,

“If you wanna be in my family, then first you gotta apologize!” Her eyes were fixated on Quaritch, who stared back at her with shock all over his face. When he didn’t immediately say anything she elaborated further.

“That time…When you took my big sister…You and those scary people hurt us, and that wasn’t very nice…” She frowned at him, eyes glistening.

When you looked to your mate you saw the guilt in his eyes, how his ears flattened and tail wrapped around his waist. He got to his knees, tried to make himself as small possible in an attempt to be closer to her eye level. And he apologized. He apologized for scaring her, for hurting her. But most of all, he was so sorry he took you. He doesn’t give her any excuses; simply admits he did something wrong and was sorry.

She nods at him, but says nothing else; though you see the tightness of her expression loosen. Spider walks over to her and ruffles her hair which makes her giggle.

“Here kid, I got a little somethin’ for ya,” Quaritch says and reaches into his pants pocket. He pulls out a small wooden carving of a pa'li. He holds out the tiny figurine balanced in the palm of his hand. Tuk’s eyes widen and she grabs it with a loud thank you. She holds it up to her face, turning it around to admire it.

“You made this?” She asks, looking up at him expectantly.

“Yes. Your sister here helped me too. Made sure it looked right.” And it was true; you had spent many nights by his side, carefully instructing him on pa'li anatomy. You were surprised when he approached you and spoke of his intention to carve her the small figurine. He explained he felt inspired when you had offhandedly mentioned her fondness for the animal.

Tuk looks between him and figure a few times, then gives him one final once over before nodding her head.

“Hmm. I guess you can stay. [Y/N] likes you, so…And you’re Spider’s dad, and I like big brother Spider.” She smiles up at the aforementioned boy, who ruffles her hair once again affectionately.

“Okay bye I wanna show this to Lo’ak!” And with that she’s sprinted off before any of you can say anything more.

---

It was disheartening to come to the realization that Kiri was avoiding you. She didn’t outright ignore you per say, but she was always too busy or had other pressing matters to attend to; never was she free to sit and talk to you.

You broke down crying one night, alone with Quaritch. Immediately you were pulled into his embrace. His strong arms held you tight as he whispered comforting words into your hair.

You hadn’t noticed Spider just outside. He had come with the intent to eat with you two as usual, but stopped himself when he heard your cries. He listened to the words you spoke, laden with heartache for your sister.

You didn’t hear him leave either.

---

“You’ve gotta talk to her.” Spider finds Kiri inside watching her mother’s video logs.

“I’m sorry, what?” She turns to him alarmed.

“[Y/N]. You have to talk to her.” He pleads.

Kiri shakes her head at him and turns back to the video.

“I don’t have to do anything. Besides, what’s there to even talk about…” her voice travels off at the end, as if she was unsure of her own words.

“Are you being serious right now? Kiri…” He grabs her by the shoulders and turns her around to face him. She’s at his eye level from kneeling in front of the console.

“What do you want from me Spider? You know as well as I do what he’s done in the past. And she does too; but I guess that doesn’t matter anymore…”

“That’s not fair, Kiri—”

“You wanna know what’s NOT fair, Spider?! The fact that I have wake up every day knowing that the man who shot and killed my mother, is alive and well! And not only that, he’s mated to my sister!” There’s tears in her eyes as her voice rises; the frustration of it all bubbling over.

Spider can feel the anger radiating off of her, white hot and unravelling; a crescendo of emotion bottled up for who knows how long. The dam breaks and she sobs, fists clenched tight.

“So now, he gets to play house with my family, [Y/N] gets her Eywa-given mate, and you get your dad back! And what do I get? NOTHING!”

Spider flinches when she screams.

“What happened to ‘us orphans have to stick together’…? Am I going to lose you too…?” Spider’s eyes grow wide at her admission. Her fears laid out before him; she felt as though she was losing her family to Quaritch? Was she blind? He hates that she’s feeling like this, wishing he knew how to make it all go away. But at the same time, he can’t help but feel his own bout of anger and frustration.

“Kiri…You never were an orphan; not really…You know that, right?”

He looks at her with a serious expression. Her lips press into a thin line at his words.

“You had Jake and Neytiri. You literally call them mum and dad. Me? Who did I have? Yea Norm and the others raised me; but no one was really my parent…Norm was more like a big brother. And I’m not blind or stupid Kiri; your folks never considered me part of the family. Only you guys did…”

She knows all too well what her parents think of Spider. Mother was not as subtle as she thought she was. Father at least treated him well, but there was still this disconnection from Spider being human.

As they stared at one another, it became clear to both of them that there was perhaps a lot of hurt left yet to heal.

---

Despite the passage of time, you have yet to properly speak with your mother. Words left unspoken causing a rift to form between you two. Small at first, you feel the cracks forming as it has been left to sit and fester. She treats you with the same love and care you have always known, but something has undoubtedly changed. It’s there, behind a lingering gaze, the hesitance of touch, the near imperceivable sharp intake of breath, but with no words that follow.

The tension at dinner time is thick, near palpable. Your brothers try their best to fill the awkward silence with pleasant conversation, driving it as far from the topic of your mate as possible. Kiri obviously says nothing, much to your disappointment. Mother smiles but it does not reach her eyes.

When you eventually muster up the courage to speak with Mo’at, you are surprised; you had expected her to be just as, if not more, against it all as mother. But she is pragmatic, understanding that this providence cannot be ignored. Her unique spiritual bond with Eywa allowed a deeper understanding into the intricacies of the Great Mother’s Will. Though she would not forgive him any time soon, she would at least accept his place among her family and her People; if this was Her Way, the so it must Be. She didn’t have to like it, but she did have to respect it.

You asked her how best to approach your own mother. She tells you that you must speak from the heart, but be open to the idea that Neytiri may never accept things as they are. She is not Tsahik and never will be. Though she has great love for Eywa, this hurt cuts far deeper than you may yet understand. She says that Neytiri perhaps needs to commune with her father’s spirit and seek out his guidance. Perhaps even from Eywa herself.

You nod and thank her for speaking with you. You turn to leave but she stops you with a hand on your shoulder. When you turn back around she pulls you into a warm hug. She tells you everything will be okay; Eywa has deigned it so. That she is sorry you have suffered such hardship, but she knows you are strong and capable, and will get through this one way or another.

You cry shamelessly into her embrace for a long while.

---

When next to happen to find yourself alone in the company of your father, you fix him with a question that has been plaguing your mind.

“You know…I’m surprised you’re not as, angry, as mother is about all this.” You watch his face trying to gauge his reaction. His countenance is thoughtful though a scowl does form. He schools his expression quickly.

“Trust me kid; I am.” There is an underlying bitterness in his words that leaves you with an uncomfortable clench in your stomach.

“But…Eywa accepted me and forgave me for my part in the destruction of Home Tree and everything after that. She came to our aid when shit hit the fan, helping us drive back the RDA. She’s done a lot for me and our family. And if what Quaritch says is true, that our Avatar bodies only work because she allows them to? Then I got a helluva lot more to be grateful for. I wouldn’t have Neytiri, Mo’at, your siblings, the clan, or you for that matter.”

Your lips quiver with the strain to not cry. It becomes nigh impossible with the way father is smiling down at you. He places both hands on your shoulders.

“I took a lot from Pandora…But you and your siblings? You guys are the one good thing I put in.” You heart swells and you lose your battle to not cry. When Jake sees your tears he pulls you in, rubbing your back soothingly as you weep.

“No matter how grown up you get, you’ll always be my baby girl…It’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

You sniffle as you try to calm yourself. You are a little fed up with all the crying you’ve been doing lately.

“How can you be so sure?” He shrugs his shoulders.

“Call it a father’s intuition.” This time, you return his smile.

---

Tonight finds you in the arms of your husband. The two of you are deep within the forest, somewhere far from High Camp and Bridgehead. You found a secluded perch on which to lay and watch Eywa paint the sky in brilliant starlight. Your snuggled into his side, head resting on his broad chest. You listen to calm rhythmic beating of his heart. It comforts you.

His arm encloses you, pressing you tightly to him. Your hands, fingers entwined, rest atop where his heart is.

“What’s going on through that pretty little head of yours?” His voice draws you in, pulling your lazy gaze from the sky and to his face. There is a warmth in his eyes, a kind curiosity. He brings your hand up and presses a kiss to your knuckles. You loved it when he was soft and gentle. Though you were, of course, eager and willing for his rougher ministrations when the mood struck.

You smile softly and hum in response.

“Hmmm. Just thinking about how much I love you.”

You are rewarded with the goofiest smile you’ve ever seen adorn his handsome face. Sometimes it feels as though he could never get used to your declarations of love and affection. You wonder if he was starved of such a thing. The thought baffles you, as your people loved freely and were not ashamed to express such feelings to friends and family.

You don’t dwell on it though; resolving to smother him with everything he may or may not have been denied all his life.

You move yourself off his chest but don’t untangle your hand from his. Instead, you lay on your back and pull him as you do. Miles follows, moving himself above you; caging you in between his arms, his face mere inches from yours.

You stare at him; studying. You take note of every luminous freckle, the strength of his cheek bones, the grooves of his nose, the breadth of his jaw. Your hand moves to his face and cups his cheek. His skin is warm to the touch. Your thumb traces the lines of his lips. He closes his eyes and leans into your hand.

When he looks at you once more with a half-lidden gaze, lovesick and smiling, it stirs something deep within you. The flicker of a flame comes to life, its warmth all encompassing. That look of reverence on his face; you never want to stop. Not in this lifetime or the next.

You resolve to protect that smile by any means necessary.

---

The two of you weren’t in your tent this morning, and Neytiri huffs in frustration. After much talks with Jake, communing with Eywa, she had finally decided to try talking with you once more. The next morning of course. But much to her dismay, no one was at the tent when she called. She saw no one inside when she quickly looked inside, but did not linger as it smelt far too much like The Demon.

She cusses under her breath. She knows she’s going to have to get out of the habit of calling him that. Start addressing him by his name.

Unsure of where the two of you might be, she makes her way back to her own dwelling. Jake is there, cleaning one of his guns. He looks up when he hears her familiar footfalls.

“That was quick,” he says, a confused look on his face.

“They weren’t there.”

“Oh. Maybe one of the kids saw em’.”

She nods and sets out to find her other children.

---

Alas, it would prove futile; none of the others had seen either of you since the night before, when you had told Spider you and Quaritch were going out to watch the stars.

Speaking of Spider, where was he? If anyone was going to know where you two were, it’d be him.

Neytiri makes her way over to the scientist buildings; if he wasn’t with her children, he more than likely would be here.

She enters the one housing Grace’s Avatar, and finds Norm up and about, not yet in his Avatar. He turns and is surprised to see her of all people, rather than her kids, enter. Still, he is happy to see her all the same.

“Neytiri? Oel ngati kameie! What brings you here?”

“Oel ngati kameie, Norm. Have you seen Spider? Or [Y/N]?” She smiles and greets him with equal enthusiasm. His expression becomes perturbed at the question though.

“No sorry, haven’t seen Spider since…Huh. Actually the day before yesterday? Thought he was staying with [Y/N] and Quaritch.”

Neytiri’s stomach drops at the notion. Has no one really seen either of you three for the passed two days? And no one said anything? What kind of mother was she then, to not notice?? Her mind starts racing, but she takes a deep breath; calming herself before she spiraled out of control. There was no need to overthink; you may have simply been too busy.

“Have you tried asking the other recoms? I’m sure one of them must’ve seen em’ at some point.” She nods at him; it was a good place to continue.

“I have not. Thank you Norm. I shall go see them.”

Briskly she leaves, not another word said; far too eager to find you as soon as possible.

---

She eventually finds the three of them conversing with some of the other Avatars. She cares not for their topic of conversation, walking up and interrupting them without a second thought.

“You three.” She addresses them coldly; the others sense the rising tension and quickly make their escape.

“Mrs. Sully! What can we do for you?” The bald one, Lyle if she remembers correctly, asks her.

“My daughter. Have you seen her? What of your, leader, or his son?”

Instead of answering, the three of them simply share a look amongst themselves, before they all look back to her. The uncomfortable feeling is back tenfold. There is something in their gaze, an almost apologetic look in their eyes. She hates it, nor does she understand why they look upon her so.

“What? What is wrong?” She demands, the agitation ever growing.

Mansk clears his throat and steps forward.

“Come with us Mrs. Sully…And bring your husband too.”

Her stomach clenches something awful; her mother’s intuition stings.

---

The 5 of them congregate in Mansk’s private dwelling. He gestures for everyone to sit down, get comfortable. Jake too can’t help but notice the sullen looks adorning the others’ faces. Nor his he miss the nervous twitch of his wife’s tail. He grabs her hand and squeezes it reassuring. She looks to him, taking a deep breath as she nods.

Mansk re-emerges from wherever he went, brandishing a tablet in hand. He sits himself in front of everyone, holding the tablet for them to see.

“Here…A message was given to us, to give to you when you came.” He moves his hand and hits play.

Instantly you are on the screen. You are nervously rubbing the back of your neck. Quaritch is sitting next to you; he is leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees and fingers loosely threaded in front of him.

“Hello mother, father, precious siblings…” Neytiri squeezes Jake’s hand harder. She does not like how your voice sounds as you speak.

“If you’re seeing this, then you’re all probably wondering where we—I am…” You pause, hand on your heart and you take a deep breath to calm yourself. Neytiri notices then, Spider mulling around in the background. Back and forth he moves, as if in a hurry.

“I don’t know how else to word this, so I’m just going to come out and say it. I’ve left. WE, have left. Me, Spider, and Miles.” You glance over to Quaritch and smile, grabbing his hand in yours, threading fingers together. Your face returns to that awful tired expression when you look back to the camera.

“I’m sorry I did this without saying goodbye…But this was for the best. If there was even a chance, no matter how small, that any of you would try to stop us…Well, I didn’t want to take that chance. I’m so sorry, I really mean that. For everything…Father? Thank you for taking care of me. I love you, to Earth and back. Please remember to take care of yourself too, not just the family or the clan…

Kids? I know you’re probably gonna hate me for a while, leaving like this and all—but like I said. My mind is made up and I don’t want any of you trying to stop us. I love each and every one of you so much. No one could ask for better siblings. Please be good to each other. And boys? Start actually listening to dad once in a while, yea?”

You pause to wipe a few stray tears. Neytiri is sobbing quietly as she clenches Jake’s hand painfully. She doesn’t see him swallow hard the lump in his throat.

“Mama?” Neytiri sits up straight when you address her directly.

“I don’t think I could every forgive myself for hurting you. I am so sorry, more than words could ever express…You took good care of me, took good care of this family. I am proud to call you my mother, and no matter how far the wind takes me, I will always love you. I hope you can forgive me one day…” You gently place a hand on your stomach.

“I do not want to cause dissent amongst my family, or the clan, any longer…And one day when I start my own family, with the man I love… I don’t want them to feel like they don’t belong. So here we go, somewhere far beyond the horizon, to find a place we can truly call our own…” Your smile is bright and unwavering, even when the tears don’t stop.

“Please keep taking such good care of each other. Promise me you will. Sullys stick together, our family is our fortress, right? Well, these two? They are my family now, they are my fortress, and I will do what I must to keep them safe, happy, accepted...Whether or not the clan or some of you can accept it, know that I love each and every one of you, forever and ever…So until I see you again, May Eywa keep you all safe…Goodbye...”

You wave at the camera before leaning forward to touch something unseen, and the video ends.

Neytiri breaks down then and there. She falls into Jake’s arms, clutching at him desperately. Her wails crack her voice as she calls for you. Jake sheds silent tears as he holds her tight. He fights every instinct in him demanding he grab his ikran and blindly fly after you.

The other recoms sit and silence, heads lowered, as they take in the sight before them.

A mother’s heartache was truly one of the saddest things to bare witness to.

---

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