Jjk Fic - Blog Posts

ch.1- don't you dare look at me that way

One shot after the other.

The alcohol leaves a tinge on your throat every time you gulp one down.

A good tinge, maybe. The burn was necessary.

Later, that would go away too. Maybe your feelings could be drowned with them.

You would keep on going until the tears you kept in couldn't be held back anymore.

Another shot. And the other. One more. 

Like a thirsty, dehydrated man finally having the chance to gulp down water.

Couldn’t think- only drink.

Rational thoughts had to be kept at bay. Words in your head couldn’t do- not right now. 

Would you swallow and gulp down your emotions only to have them come back up another time?

Ordering more and more shots until the bartender had to stop serving you.

His words didn’t go through your head, but you could guess.

Sighing and coughing, tears welled up in your eyes.

All you wanted to do was to melt in a puddle and never wake up ever again.

For someone to find you and cup you in their hands and try not to let the water spill through their fingers.

But of course you couldn’t have that—it was your fault again. Again. Was it always your fault now?

Every single relationship, every broken promise, every little chance, all gone. Has it been your fault all this time?

You put your head in your hands and leaned onto the table. You couldn’t stay here in this state mentally now. You needed to go. But who would pick you up?

You racked your mind to try to find somebody who would come over and drive you back, yet you couldn’t think of any, the alcohol interfering with much of your thought process.

Giving up on your memory, you scrolled through your phone contacts to check.

C- CHOSO KAMO

Oh… it’s him… was he the one who broke up with you? You couldn't remember, but you knew you could trust him at your most vulnerable point.

You opened the message chat. 

Relieved that he agreed, you turned your phone off and let your head rest onto the bar table. What you needed to do now was to enjoy the sweet feeling of the alcohol warming your chest and... and...

-

When you woke up, you first didn’t know where you were. As you looked around the dark place, you realized that this was Choso’s living room, and he laid you onto his couch. Feeling grateful that he went through with his promise, you stood up and headed into his kitchen to get a glass of water.

You peeked at the oven clock, 1:43 AM. 

You were asleep for… How long? Maybe three hours? 

Filing through his cabinets, you were thinking about how unfamiliar yet familiar your surroundings were. Having spent so much time here, you were still trying to find where he kept the glasses. Finally having found it, you grabbed one and slowly filled it with water. After filling up two glasses and downing them, you turned off the tap and set the glass down. 

The headache was still there—just not as intense. You headed back to the couch you woke up on and lay down. 

The more time you had doing nothing, the more time you had to think, but you didn’t want to think. It would all circle back to him—the one who ripped your heart out. You feel like it shouldn’t be hard—you feel like it shouldn’t hurt you this much. You’ve been through bad breakups all the time. So why did this one hurt the most?

Was it because you genuinely thought this would go somewhere?

Or were you just hopelessly in love again?

Again, your tears swelled up in your eyes. You couldn’t stay like this forever.

Muffling your cries with a pillow, you turn over on the couch and try to go back to sleep.

But he heard you. Stepping out his bedroom door, Choso pokes his head outside to check the living room. Seeing that you were still awake, he quietly went up to you and tapped you gently on the shoulder.

Startled by his touch, you hiccup and turn around to face Choso with an understanding look. 

Seeing him turned the quiet sobs into loud wails. Finally having someone to rant to, you grabbed onto his sleeve to hold onto him, to know that you wanted him to stay.

He sits down on the couch beside you and offers his shoulder.

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Choso couldn’t understand why. 

Why would you always torture yourself like this?

Here you were, crying again on his shoulder after a particularly nasty breakup you had with your nth boyfriend already.

Why couldn’t you just realize that you could end all of this misery just by being with him?

Choso reels back at the thought. He didn’t want to seem obnoxious, thinking that he’s the only good one for you. You’re allowed to live your own life; he didn’t want to control what he felt was the most intimate part of a person’s journey.

He saw you grow up, right alongside him. He saw your old habits, your new ones, and the same laugh he’d loved for what seemed like eons now. 

How your love for drawing when you were young turned into learning how to animate when you were older, how your natural talent in science turned into a major in biochemistry. How your teasing nature turned into the “magical ability to attract losers left and right,” 

But he loved it. He loved every bit of you. Yet, after all these years, he still couldn’t find the words, and he still couldn’t find the courage. So he ends up being forced to watch you pick up a new guy every month, and either you drop them or they drop you. He knows you try to play it off as nothing, but he can see that each breakup really affects your mental health, even if just a bit. You would always just brush it off, “It’s no big deal,” you would say, and it truthfully wasn’t. But it didn’t stop Choso from getting increasingly more worried every broken relationship he watches you get into. A never-ending cycle that just leaves Choso heartbroken every time he sees your heart get broken. He would be lying if he said he didn’t get a twinge of jealousy every time he saw a new guy come over, have drinks, or even sneak off into your room doing god knows what. Each day, he kept himself sane knowing that (or at this point, praying) that it’s going to end in a week or two, that it’s never going to last, and he shouldn’t get too riled up over it.

Yet each time he sees your eyes, genuinely in love, only to be broken and empty by the end of the week, he swears he’ll stop you the next time. He swears he’ll do something to stop your heartbreak. 

Now, you were here, crying over your most recent breakup. He sits there, offering comforting pats to your arm as he wonders where you ever get the strength to bounce back so quickly. 

But he wants it to stop. Not for his sake anymore, but for yours now. 

“Hey, it’s fine; there’s no need to cry anymore,” he whispers, trying to soothe your mood. “He was a complete jerk anyway; it’s going to be alright.” 

You sniffle loudly as you tilt your head to look up at him, only to find a pair of soft eyes looking right back at you. A thought flashes through your mind that only makes you want to sob harder. 

Nobody ever looked at me the way he’s looking at me right now. 

Your past boyfriends never did. Why did you even bother with them again? Ugh, it’s all coming down again, and you have nothing better to do than just wail harder and harder into his shoulder.

“Everything’s gonna be okay… let it all out...” you hear him say. Oh, how much you appreciated him so much for moments like these. His assuring presence always grounds you, no matter how messed up you were now. You loved how he was always there for you. But did you really love him, or his actions? Aren’t you simply just benefiting off of his kindness now?

The night continued as your sniffles finally started to slow down, and your energy finally began to run out, leading you to fall right asleep on his bed. 

Choso didn’t mind. He took some extra blankets and covered your snoozing figure and went to sleep in the guest room, making sure to check that Yuji was asleep and wasn’t woken up. 

As he climbed into the bed, Choso sighed, thinking again about how unfair it was for you to get treated like this all the time. Yet, it was still your life. He didn’t want to interfere or appear too stuck up. He would bide his time. Keep reaching out his hand.

series m.list

next ->

taglist- open!

dividers by @.enchanthings @.adornedwithlight

ᥙᥒrᥱ𝗊ᥙі𝗍ᥱძ, 𝗍ᥱrrі𝖿ᥡіᥒg.

choso has watched you jump from boyfriend to boyfriend, and always noticed that after each one you.. lost yourself a little. having his heart ache for you since childhood, he's determined to make you stop... but reveals his own feelings in the middle.

series m.list

sfw! - angst + fluff

ch.1 - dont you dare look at me that way

ch.2 - he's so perfect, blah blah blah

ch.3 - an arrow through my heart

ch.4 - at least just let me say

ch.5- don't you feel it too?

ch.6- confess i loved you from the start

-epilogue-

m.list dividers by @.enchanthings-a

-> based on the song "from the start" by laufey!

taglist: open!

all works belong to me. do not reupload or translate without permission.

finish her! a toji fushiguro oneshot

pairing ⸺ wrestler!toji x reader

summary ⸺ you will have to face one of the most formidable wrestlers in history in your next match: toji fushiguro. but don't be confused, this isn't normal wrestling⸺no, it's nude wrestling. and winner gets the spoils of the other's body! (extended ver of my toji drabble here)

warnings ⸺ nasty, NASTY smut, VERY public sex, WWE but pornhub edition, you’re a wrestler fighting toji, so some violence but nothing graphic, fem!reader, HUMILIATION, degradation, you're literally fucked in an arena of people, p in v sex, unprotected sex, spanking, oral sex (f! recieving), boobplay, very inaccurate depiction of wrestling/WWE, not edited we die like toji, pls help me find artist :(

a/n im going to sit in the corner and think about what i just wrote

kinktober masterlist | general masterlist

the muffled sounds of the crowd’s deafening roar seem to swirl in the space around you, each cheer vibrating through your chest like distant thunder. you take a long, cool sip of water, a welcome contrast to the warm air backstage. lounging back, you let the chair support your weight, your muscles still humming with the residual tension of anticipation. utahime’s fingers work into your shoulders, and her voice filters through the buzzing atmosphere, calm and steady as she gives you a rundown of the night ahead, though her words seem to blur slightly at the edges—just background noise to the constant hum of adrenaline.

“in front of a crowd—do you understand? and the rules are no fucking, unless all clothes are off first.”

“right,” you affirm, albeit hesitantly. you’re feeling a bit jitterish in anticipation of what’s to happen, despite having trained months to hone your ability as a wrestler. look, wwe itself can get really suggestive at times, with people giving wedgies, removing certain articles of clothing, or even letting the crowd cop a feel of the defeated to serve as humiliation. not only does it improve publicity, but it also increases viewership of all the horny bastards on the internet to circle the televised clip around in their subreddits or discord servers.

but what you were going to do today—that was a bit…extreme. it was like bridging the gap between soft core and hard core, with the humiliation turned up to a hundred. because today, you were going to wrestle the man that all female–and male–wrestlers could even dream of having their hands on, even if for a slight moment.

toji fushiguro.

a man of impressive build—entering a ring with him only meant defeat. he’s had numerous career wins, far exceeding any other. hell, you shouldn’t even be matched to wrestle with him today; he outweighs and outranks you by far. the only thing you really have running for you is the sheer amount of fans you have, ready to tune in to your fights and edit your moves and time spent in the fighting ring to songs like “chun li” and “maneater.” so, sure, you don’t exactly anticipate a win today in that stadium that’s waiting for you, but you’re no less of a wrestler in your own right. you won’t go down without a fight.

however, today was no normal fight. the wwe had suddenly decided that their viewership was too low, that extreme measures needed to be taken to boost. so, ironically enough they had decided to change the rules just before your momentous match:

all wrestlers must consent to having all and any articles of clothing removed from their person, particularly for sexual intercourse as a reward for the winner.

so, WWE (Pornhub’s Version) (In The Vault). 

and your luck dictated that this paradigm shift for the organization occur just before your most anticipated match with toji. again, you knew that no amount of training could prevent you from getting utterly humiliated, but it was almost like the gods were laughing down on you, eager to rub in your impending defeat once more. because you were going to get your shit fucked up—-literally.

“it’s going to be fine,” utahime assures you, and you snap back to the present from your thoughts at the sound of her voice. “just think about the publicity this’ll get you! not that you don’t have any fans of yourself, but there are going to be a lot of people tuned in because of fushiguro.”

you take an inhale in and nod. “yea, that’s true. i just want to get it over with.”

as if answering your prayers, gojo satoru, the mc, burst into your dressing room. “it’s your time to shine, buttercup!” he grins, ushering you out the door. albeit a bit nervously, you stand up and make your way into the hallway that leads directly into the middle of the arena. “you’re going to do great!”

as soon as you walk closer and closer to the arena, the screams get louder and louder, the music booming and causing the floor under you to vibrate. the sounds of people surround all your senses, wrapping you up and causing your heartbeat to go faster and faster. 

reaching the end of the hallway, the arena is filled with light, and you have to blink to get a hold of your sight. surrounding the center boxing ring are stands upon stands of people, hustling and bustling. at the sight of you, cameramen stationed around in various spots through the arena furiously angle their cameras towards you. not only are journalists and the media snapping pictures, blinding you with the flash, but you see yourself displayed on the big screens visible to everyone in the arena. you smile and wave, causing your fans to scream as they register that you have walked in. 

then, a realization washes over you. these are the same screens that are going to be projected whatever's going to happen during the fight and when you lose.

oh god.

you walk forward, trying to keep up your smile and wave to all of your fans that outstretched their hands, trying to cop a feel and/or get a high five. most of your fans are male (to no one's surprise), and you can feel their eyes roving over you appreciatively, taking in your outfit. it was simple and tight; shorts that just barely covered your ass and was snug around your hips, and a low cut top that couldn't even be called a top. your cleavage was on full display, and the top stopped just below your waist. typically, this is your wrestling attire you wear to a normal match, but you couldn't help but wryly notice that today, your neckline was cut lower than usual. the wwe was really trying to milk this, huh?

you stood just below the boxing ring, eyes anxiously scanning the arena, unconsciously searching for the man you were set to fight. but no matter how hard you looked, you couldn't spot his tall, muscular figure either in the ring or in the seat he was supposed to occupy with his manager.

a light tap on your shoulder startled you, and you turned to find utahime behind you, a concerned look on her face. "everything alright?"

"yeah," you said, waving her off with a forced smile. "but where is he?"

utahime pointed toward the boxing ring, and then you saw it—a glimpse of black hair.

"alright," you said, swallowing nervously. "i'm heading into the ring. wish me luck."

"wait!" utahime called out, but you were already too far to hear her. gripping the ropes at the edge of the ring, you hauled yourself up and strode toward the center, determined to get a better view. and there, just on the far side of the ring, hidden from your previous angle, was toji fushiguro.

he was lounging back, relaxed, his posture almost lazy as he faced his manager, shiu kong. you couldn’t see toji's face from this angle, but his body language indicated that he was the epitome of ease. shiu was saying something to him, and from your best attempt at lip reading, you could just make out the words, "don't break the rules today."

toji, on the other hand, didn't seem to be looking at him (giving 0 fucks, something so classically toji), focusing now towards the big screens everyone else saw in the arena. you turned your gaze towards them as well, only to be taken aback when it was you, a compilation of your best moments in the ring, narrated by gojo.

“and today, fellas, we’re going to see the bombshell y/n—the maneater, as coined by her fans—-competing! while her opponent is fushiguro, don’t be fooled—she can pack a mean punch. look at this fight with mei mei; she sweeped the floor with her face!” 

satisfied, you looked around, the arena bustling with people getting drinks, being enraptured with your fight on the screen, or pointing at you or toji. toji, on the other hand, was chuckling and shaking his head at your fight, observing as you gave the bitch mei mei a wedgie. which kind of made you flustered, because you had developed a crush on the guy observing him from afar or in passing, so you just focused on shaking out your legs and arms in nervousness.

gojo similarly announced toji’s fights and compilation, gassing him up for the crowd and it was then that toji finally turned around, uninterested in whatever was going on, and caught your eye. you stared back, breath held involuntarily. 

his eyes had a predatory glint to them, and he smiled, charmingly in a way that showed off his scar, and they scanned up and down your figure, taking in what you were wearing—or rather, letting his imagination run. nervously, your heart sped up as you clenched your thighs up in anticipation or anxiety, you couldn’t choose which, as your mind began running at the speed of light thinking about what was going to happen today.

today, you weren’t only going to wrestle toji fushiguro. you were going to fuck him.

but you’re jolted out of your thoughts as gojo’s obnoxious voice blares through the speakers. “give it up for thee wwe goat, toji fushiguro!”

screams reach an all time high as his smirk is broadcasted to the audience, biceps bulging and flexing as he heaves his way up on the ring, joining you. he waves lazily, roars at an all time high as he stalks his way to you, and you squeeze your nails into your palm out of nervousness.

when gojo announces your name, the male screams rise up in volume, causing you to giggle and fushiguro to roll his eyes from what you can see in the corner of your eye. you give a dainty wave, choosing to wink and blow a kiss to the camera in front of you, causing your fans to scream even louder.

“you sure got a lotta fanboys, darling.” you jump as toji has now bent down to whisper in your ear, literally sending shivers down your spine.

you force out a laugh. “and you're at no shortage of fangirls yourself, fushiguro.”

he gives you a nonchalant hum, assuming his original position. as gojo continued to yap about the stakes of the round today, the recent rule change, a referee walked over to you both, coming in closer so that you would be able to hear him over the chaos of the arena.

“so, you’re both aware of the rules, right?” he both looked at you, to which you nodded and toji’s smirk widens. “you gotta get the other’s clothes completely off, and the first one to do that wins.”

you gulp, eyeing what toji was wearing today. it was his signature garb, the one he wore to almost every match without fail: grey pants with various sponsorships sewed on, and a black compression shirt. it was definitely very minimal compared to what a lot of the other wrestlers wore, but it was iconic, giving him a lazy, laid back aura that no other wrestler could truly emanate.

it wasn’t anything hard to take off in particular.

both of you affirmed your consent to the referee, who then took a step back after wishing you both good luck.  you turned, facing toji face on, who had his hand on his hip. “try to last long, okay?” he smirks, patting your shoulder with his other hand. “i’ll try to drag this out as much as i can, but it’s gonna be fuckin hard if that ass is grinding against me.”

you glare, but there isn’t much intensity to it because you know he’s much stronger than you. there isn’t much to get angry about. “yea, yea,” you huff. “for all i know, you’ll be my personal dildo today.”

he barks out a laugh and looks at the referee, who has one hand raised, the other one poised on his whistle, ready to blow and start the round. it’s starting soon. then, he looks back to you and smiles. “let the games begin.”

the referee blows the whistle.

at once, you launch yourself towards toji, trying to jump on him to get him off his feet with your weight. instead, he dodges easily and leaves you hurtling towards the floor, making you poise yourself on your hands and feet upon impact. you roll over just as toji tries to tackle you and pin you against your original position on the floor and quickly get up.

however, as you’re steadying yourself on your feet, toji grabs your ankle, causing you to lose your balance and giving him the advantage to pin himself on top of you, his mouth breathing heavily next to your ear, whispering so it was just the two of you that could hear his words. “what do you think i should take off first?” he laughs deeply, the vibration causing you to shiver and try to squirm to get out of his hold, to no avail. “should it be these?” he snakes his hands down to grope your tits, giving them a firm squeeze, much to the arena’s pleasure. “or should i take these off of you?” he slaps your ass, making you blush furiously.

“fuck you,” you hiss as his hands catch on the edge of your shorts.

he gives you a sweet, small kiss on your temple. “don’t worry, baby,” he smiles. “you’ll be doing that anyways.” and with that, he pulls at your shorts until the waistband’s elastic rips, leaving your shorts in tatters until he throws the remains of it away, baring your panty-covered ass to the crowd, which immediately grows wild.

you crane your neck to look at the screen, which is currently focused on toji’s hands feeling up your ass, dipping inside your underwear to knead the flesh. your heart is pounding, the thought i need to get the upper hand flashing continuously across your mind. it’s almost as if you’re drowning, the noises of the crowd blurring together until it was only you and toji’s weight on you. you barely heard the announcer exclaim, “toji is currently in the lead!” as you focused on calculating your next move.

it was time to pull out all the stops. 

turning your head until you were making eye contact with him, you bit your lip, momentarily distracted him with the 180 turn of your actions, now nonchalant rather than the flailing you were doing earlier. then, you raised your hips, meeting your backside with his crotch in an effort to catch him off guard and to make him lose balance. then, you maneuvered yourself so your thighs surround toji’s waist and hump your hips against his bulge. this momentarily distracted and weakened toji, and you take full advantage of it by overtaking him and now straddling him. you quickly take off his shirt, salivating at the muscles you see. the whole stadium, in fact, can see his abs and pecs glistening with sweat.

smirking while peering down at him, you slowly grind your hips as if you were riding a mechanical bull, making a show of spinning around his shirt with your hand to mock him. toji’s eyes darken, but a mirthless smile flashes across his face anyways. “damn, take me out to dinner first.”

you flash him one of your own humorless smirks, happy that you got at least one thing against him. “i don’t fuck anyone before the first day, honey. this is just another cheap fuck.” with that, you yank his head back with his hair roughly, making a show of motorboating his pecs, as if to mock him.

instead of getting angry, he chuckles darkly. “you’re going to regret that. i was going to drag this out, princess, but i gotta fuck the brat out of you.” with that, he spins you around just as quickly—if not quicker—pinning you against the ground with your hands held above your head in one hand in a vice grip, the other groping its way down your body. he buries his face in your neck, salaciously licking the length of it. with his free hand—now stationed around your tits—he grabs at the hem of your top, pulling it up so everyone could see your lace bra. mockingly, he plants his face in the middle of your tits, moving his head side by side to motorboat you just as you had done to him, the soft plush of your tits encompassing his face.

the crowd cheers, even more so than they had when you had ripped his shirt off, as toji completely rips the top off as you squirm, making the removal even easier for him. you can feel all eyes on you as toji reaches for the clip of your bra, unhooking it and making your tits pop out. helplessly, you look at the screen, your writhing making them move in a jiggling motion, sweat shining and giving you the “oiled-up” look. he takes a moment to grope them, your whines ignored as he pinches your nipples. “what a sensitive girl,” he coos. “too bad she was too weak. now she’s going to have to take my cock.”

with that, he teasingly closes the distance between the waistband of your panties and his teeth, mouth snagging on the elastic. slowly, he drags them down, unveiling your glistening pussy for all eyes to see, and the crowd goes wild, chanting random requests at toji to do the most heinous things to you. as soon as you’re completely naked, he grabs you by the waist, propping you up against one of the corner posts. you’re now standing up, tearfully facing the arena as the wrestler kneels behind you, burying his face and nosing his way until your pussy, lapping up your wetness.

at the unexpected feeling of his tongue, you yelp, and toji slaps your ass. “stay still.” acquiescing, he licks up long stripes and shakes his head to grind his nose into your cunt, pleasuring you while humiliating you in front of everyone, forcing you to succumb to the pleasure he’s making you feel. while licking you, he groans. “fuck, this pussy is so sweet. i’ve run out of patience, fuck the performance part.”

with that, toji flips you over so you’re on your hands and knees on the floor and pulls down his pants. you don’t even look back at the monster that’s about to enter you for the sake of your mental health, but your legs are shaking in anticipation of his cock, slick dripping down your thighs. 

he drags his cock teasingly through your folds, and then brings it out to slap it against your ass, humming appreciatively at the recoil. then, as if he’s lost patience, he’s slowly entering you, pushing against your pussy’s resistance as he penetrates you in front of the whole arena. “fuck!” he groans, getting a better grip on you as he pushes your head down on the mat and fully goes to pound town.  

the humiliating plap! plap! plap! of his hips against the flesh of your ass echoing multiple strangers watch your pussy get wrecked. “the fuck this pussy’s so tight for? thought you were a slut?”

you’re tearing up, the feeling of his dick hitting your g-spot straight on making you clench hard, overwhelmed by the feeling of him pummeling you and his hands on your body, feeling you up. clearly, he knew how to pleasure a woman, and it made you all the more annoyed. you were fucked out, but not fucked out enough to prevent you from snarkily replying, “you’re not turning me on, small dick.”

he did not like that very much.

toji drills his hips into yours faster and slaps your ass multiple times consecutively. “yea, so why is she clenching so fucking much? why is she dripping, you whore?” as if to demonstrate his point, he brings his fingers to rub at your clit furiously, collecting the wetness that had dripped down from your hole then shoving his fingers into your mouth. “suck.” when you did just that, suckling at his fingers while hollowing your hot, wet heat around the appendages. 

at that, he groaned. “what a little cockwhore. shoulda made you suck my dick instead.”

in retaliation, you bite his fingers, hard, and then spit them out. “i would’ve bit your micro off.”

toji hisses, grabbing the hair at your scalp and pulling on it until your face was up, his mouth at your ear. “just for that, i’m going to come inside of your slutty pussy.” he speeds up, moving his hips faster and fast. the hand that wasn’t at your hair is now sneaking his way down your back, until you gasp.

because he’s inserted his thumb inside your ass.

“oh, ho ho,” he laughs mockingly. “you liked that, didn’t you?” you offer him no response, choosing instead to focus on the feeling of the sheer amount of pressure you were feeling down there, being doubly stuffed. by now, your orgasm has been steadily building because of the sheer power of toji’s stroke game, but as soon as he hits your spot one last time, your eyes roll back, causing you to arch your back and writhe due to the intensity of your orgasm.

you’re breathing heavily, toji fucking you roughly through it. once you’ve gotten a hold of your sense, you come back to reality as you realize that the crowd has adopted a rhythm to their chants, your fans and his screaming the same thing.

cum! cum! cum!

and toji only chortles as he continues your thirst, looking at you once again, and you can tell that he’s staving his orgasm back just after experiencing your clenches with the way he’s biting his lips, sweat running down from his temple to his abs. “what do you say, baby? wanna give the crowd what they’re asking for?” 

all it takes is a whimpered please, and toji just does what the crowd asks of him. ropes of his cum fill you, and you drop down in exhaustion to hear toji declared as winner. 

as you exhaustedly lift your head up, you see that cameras are out all around you, focused on the screen. you’re flustered when you realize the billboard is displaying toji’s cum seeping out of you.

A hand on your shoulder. “you good?” toji’s looking at you, eyes twinkling.

you let out a breath. “yea,” you laugh, out of breath. “good round.”

and he’s huffing, giving you a hand to get on your back. you can only lie on the ground as he barks for clothes to be put on you and for some water. then he turns to look at you once more, eyes twinkling. “wanna go for more in my hotel?”

kinktober masterlist | general masterlist

a/n i was going to have him carry u up near to the stands where your fans could grab at ur titties but this is alr depraved as it is. now im going to take a breather from tumblr for the rest of this week becasue WHEW ch5 gojo yesterday and finished this today i am ON A ROLL. see you guys for next week's kinktober fic (comment if you want to be tagged)! much love<3

reblog and comments are much appreciated!!!!!

taglist:

@sugoroo @ryutotsukai0824 @sharkubi @lisvanrouge @mxlktae

@samisfunky @achbbys000 @xd3pr3ss3dx @jottositto @cheescakebroom

@r0ckst4rjk

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

Series Masterlist - Completed

Discord 18+ - Twitter - Kofi

Pairing: Nanami Kento x Female Reader

Summary: It's been five years since you've seen Kento, the divorce leaving you to pick up the pieces of your life alone. When a chance encounter brings you both together again, will you be able to find it in you to trust and forgive him?

Genre: Divorce AU

Warnings: Smut, Vaginal Sex, Jealousy, Jealous Behavior, Divorce, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Arguments, Ex-Husband Nanami Kento

Chapters:

Chapter 1 ◦ Chapter 2 ◦ Chapter 3 ◦ Chapter 4 ◦ Chapter 5 ◦ Chapter 6 ◦ Chapter 7

Bonus chapter:

Malaysia (8)

Drabble Requests:

The First of Many (9)

hesitance short fic + side stories | ryomen sukuna x f!reader

summary: sukuna is a gym owner and is very fond of his least productive employee. this series is a collection of moments the two have shared together during her time working for him. side stories can be read on their own, but I highly suggest reading the fic first. tl;dr: sukuna violently pining after his employee. he needs a hug. literally everyone knows he likes her lol

genre: modern au, 18+, established friendship(?), fluff, eventual smut

fic warnings: ooc, profanity

Ko-fi link if you're feeling generous and wanted to show extra support ❤️

fic:

hesitance 1

hesitance 2

hesitance 3

hesitance 4

hesitance 5

side stories:

past

#1: what are you reading?

#2: under the influence

#3: uncle sukuna

#4: are you crying?

#5: homewrecker

#6: the interview

present

(tbd)

extras:

boss!sukuna headcanons

gymowner!sukuna aesthetics

notes: the taglist for this series is open 🫶🏻

i'm also open to suggestions for future side stories. hit the inbox if you have any!

All rights reserved © 2024 hauntedcrownpost. Do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works in any platform.

So we have to choose between the short snack stack of rocks Huge Jacked Man SIkuna and the elongated tree twunk trunk Wade a Minute Wilson SIkuna

Okay

Smol Buff Sukuna or Noodle Tall Sukuna

I have no idea, but that's SIkuna two active brain cells for Dish Best Served Hot (AO3 fanfic)

Why did I draw this XD

@screampied diamond boy made me feel things

Canon version here

MY BOYFRIEND WILL KICK YOUR ASS !

- fushiguro megumi x reader

it's a date gone wrong when you get into an argument with your aloof boyfriend. but will he save you when it counts?

genre: tw: street harassment, catcalling. hurt/comfort, arguments and reconciliation, protective!megumi and fluff !

note: i miss my emo boi :(

general masterlist

“Stay back!”

This is an utter plot twist. When you came out of your apartment today, all dolled up and ready to go on a date with your boyfriend, you never imagined you’d end up cornered by two creeps in a deserted alley.

“Easy, girl,” one of the guys in front of you cackled, lips curling into an unsettling sneer. “We’re just trying to get to know you better!”

“Listen— My boyfriend is super scary, you know!” you barked, willing yourself not to shake. “Now you better not come any closer or else—!”

“Or else what?” the other creep mocked with a snort. You gripped your umbrella—now your makeshift weapon—tightly, pointing it at him as a threat.

“Or else my boyfriend will be here in any minute and he’ll kick your ass!”

It was a partly a lie you hoped sounded convincing, because how could Megumi suddenly show up and find you in this dingy alleyway... right after both of you had a petty disagreement in the middle of Shibuya's shopping district?

Oh lord, how you regretted raising your voice and running away from him earlier.

"You are late!" you scolded him heatedly as he yawned, showing up twenty minutes later than your agreed time. "Can't you at least text me beforehand? I'll match your time if you do!"

Megumi sighed, fixing you with a blank stare as he scratched his head. "My bad. I overslept. I rushed here so didn't think of it."

It was so easy for him to say, and you would've understood if it was the first time, but you had noticed this pattern over the past two weeks. Whenever you asked him out for dates, his face always soured, and he didn't bother to be on time. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was reluctantly agreeing.

And by this point, you thought you knew better and that was really it.

Finally, you blurted out the burning accusation: "You never realize it, but it shows, you know? You never seem happy when we go out together."

He exhaled in exasperation, green eyes darkening at you. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly that."

It seemed he had run out of patience. Standing your ground, you braced for his next words. But the glare he sent your way and the words he spat pierced your tender heart more than you thought—

"You're always nagging. Can't you stop being annoying just once? What a pain."

Perhaps he was right, you were annoying him all this time and dealing with you was a pain. You could imagine it if you were in his place, but you couldn't handle the very implication that you had done so, and you screamed at his face:

"So be it then! Fushiguro, you are the worst!"

—and ran off with tears in your eyes, deserting him altogether.

You knew you weren’t exactly a model of maturity, but in your defense, it stung deeply that he saw you as annoying and a pain. What girlfriend wouldn’t be hurt by that?

Anyhow, you loitered near the Shibuya station afterwards, and at first you heard some catcalls you didn't really pay mind to. But when those two guys started whistling and edging closer, it hit you—you were their target.

You quickened your pace, turning down several corners, only to find yourself trapped in a dead end. Just how much worse could your day get?

"Aha, the girl says she has a boyfriend!" Creep #1 snickered, turning to Creep #2 with a smirk, before pretending to scan the area. "But I don’t see him?"

"Miss, I swear we’re not up to any trouble," Creep #2 chimed in, his eyes gleaming with a predatory delight. "Won’t you be our friend? You’re too pretty to be alone—this is Shibuya, after all!" he said, eyeing your legs and whistled. "And ooh, have I told you that skirt suits you well?"

These guys were straight-up perverts!

"Get lost!" you yelled, your fingers trembling as you swung the umbrella at him when he tried to close the distance. "Can’t you just leave me alone?!"

You were at your wits' end, and it was clear this situation wasn’t going to improve with them still blocking your way. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart, and decided to do the only thing you could.

In hindsight, a stupid move—

You barreled towards the two of them with your umbrella—managing to push past them. For a moment, you thought you had a chance and ran as fast as you could—

"Ack!" —until you tripped and crashed on the ground.

You rose and immediately winced, looking down at the site where it hurt the most. Oh, you had scrapped your knees badly.

"Ahh, miss! Don't be too hasty~!" you heard the second guy's sing-song voice, and you really wanted to cry. Why did this have to happen to you?

"Don't come c-closer!" you stammered, backing away as they approached. Your whole body shook, desperately trying to think of ways to save yourself. "Or— I'll scream!"

"Whoa, whoa, wait just a minute! Why don't you just—"

You really thought you would scream, until suddenly the familiar scent of mint filled your sense and a strong arm pulled you from behind, and a broad back shielded your view from them—

"What do you need from her?" Megumi's voice boomed, his eyes glaring at the two men who had been harassing you. His breathing was ragged, as if he had run all the way here. "Fuck off."

At that moment, you couldn't help clutching his sleeve, hiding behind him further as you kept trembling. Megumi sensed it, and turned over to have a look over you—

You looked disheveled, spooked, and his eyes widened when he saw the blood trailing down both of your knees.

"Hey man, your girlfriend practically asked for it! Just look how she is dressed—"

Before you could process what was happening, Megumi had yanked the man by his collar and thrown a punch at him. You yelped and immediately got a hold of his arm to stop him further. "Megumi!"

The other guy quickly caught his friend, who spat out a string of curses, his lips bloodied from the punch.

"Fuck. Off." Megumi glowered at them, and they finally got the message, scurrying away in hurry. The moment they did, he faced you again and you finally let out a sob, throwing yourself into him. His body was warm, his heart pounding hard— yet it meant reassurance for you.

"Are you okay...?" his voice was noticeably softer as he wrapped his arms around you and returned the hug. "Did they touch you—?"

Megumi froze when he felt his chest dampen with your tears and heard your sniffles, your figure shaking like a leaf in his embrace. A wave of guilt washed over him, realizing how scared you must have been. Instinctively, he held you tighter.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," he muttered, his breath warm against your ear. It was as if there was an invincible knife that twisted his chest when it dawned on him what you just got into. "I'm here now, okay? You're safe now."

If it weren’t for his harsh words earlier, you wouldn’t have run off. He kept shushing you, his own heart breaking at the turn of events.

And when you nodded against him, he knew he had to make it up to you somehow.

Later, Megumi tended to your minor injury while crouching down before you, as you sat on a bench near the convenience store where he had picked up the first aid kit.

Your eyes were swollen, your outfit was dirtied, but you ignored the curious looks from passersby. Still shaken, you kept your gaze fixed on your lap.

You recoiled when the disinfectant touched your torn skin, tears welling up again in your eyes. "Ow..."

"It'll hurt just a bit," Megumi looked up at you worriedly, seeing you struggling to hold back tears. He gently blew air on your wound. "It’ll be over soon."

Megumi noticed how you were uncharacteristically quiet. Between the two of you, you were the chatty one and he was the silent listener. But now, you were completely silent, and he knew it was definitely not a good sign.

And so he thought it was a good time to finally explain himself. With a sigh, he began. "I... was on back-to-back missions since last week."

You glanced at him, both surprised and confused.

"I was so tired; that’s why I’ve been oversleeping lately. Sorry for not meeting you on time." Megumi applied the ointment to your knees, and you stiffened from the sting. He blew air on them again to ease the discomfort.

"You never told me," you pointed out.

"Yeah, uh, sorry..." he winced. "It's so... lame. I got so exhausted for a week straight whereas Itadori bounces back so easily. Stupid, I know."

"You... didn't tell me because you don't want to look uncool?"

As soon as you worded it that way, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Megumi remained silent, looking down, and you knew that his silence was a definite yes.

Totally stupid. But exactly how Fushiguro Megumi was always wired. A part of you was exasperated, but also forgave him for it.

When he met your gaze again, he finally saw the light returning to your eyes. It was a relief to him, so he let out a small sigh and put on a strained smile.

"How did you find me anyway?" you asked quietly.

"You didn't pick up my calls. I was worried. And then I ran around until I heard your voice." His eyes narrowed into a frown. "Did they do anything to you?"

You shook your head, and Megumi let out the breath he had been holding, gripping your right hand in his. "I’m glad."

You brushed away the trace of tears on your cheeks as he finished applying band-aids to your knees, awkwardly fiddling with your fingers.

"Sorry for being annoying," you mumbled softly, not meeting his eyes, feeling yourself so small all of a sudden. "Will totally happen again though."

"You..." Megumi rose from the ground, raising an eyebrow. Unintentionally, he cracked a smile at your daring remark. "Just... don’t run off again, dummy. Do it where I can see you."

He ruffled your hair gently, then intertwined your fingers with his. "And sorry... for getting mad at you too."

Your cheeks felt warm, so you looked away, puckering your lips together. "...I'm hurt. You have to make it up to me."

He hummed, the beginnings of a smile on his face. "Let's go have that shaved ice you’ve been craving then."

“Huh? But you don’t like them?”

“You like those sugary dump, don’t you?”

Hand-in-hand, both of you traversed the Shibuya shopping district together. Your eyes were still puffy, but you were smiling and talking his ears off again just like you always did.

“I told those pricks my boyfriend will definitely kick their asses,” you giggled to yourself, swinging your intertwined hand joyfully. “And you really did~”

“What are you talking about…?”

And yet, Megumi thought... he liked you the best this way.

long night

< In the middle of a New Year's party, Gojo drags you into another room to get some last minute lovin' to ring in the New Year. >

tags: gojo x reader, fem!reader, oneshot, smut, sub!gojo, intox, semi-public, dubcon

warnings: petnames, alcohol consumption

word count: 2.1k

a/n: this is so late it's way past new years but shhh

He Really Does Care

< You are struggling with depression, and Gojo comes home early to help >

tags: gojo x reader, gn!reader, one shot, fluff, hurt/comfort, no smut

warnings: references to depression, pet names

word count: 1k

a/n: dear gojo lovers!!! i implore you to consume my literature... he takes good care of you :>

blowing smoke - mma!toji

cw: enemies to lovers, mentions of abuse, blood, smut MDNI, inexperienced!reader, cunnilingus, penetration, pull out method, pet names (princess), vanilla tbh, angst with comfort, happy ending

characters: toji, gojo, choso, sukuna, shiu, megumi, yuki

word count: 7k

you stood in front of one of the most notorious mma gyms in the world. this gym housed some of the biggest names in mma including the infamous toji fushiguro. toji was a household name not only in japan but the world. he had a reputation for being a ruthless fighter with an arrogant attitude. he also just so happened to be your new boss. you had no idea how you landed a job as his assistant, but nevertheless, you were grateful for the opportunity.

the muffled sounds of grunts and rattling punching bags made your stomach turn. you took a deep breath in an attempt to calm your nerves before entering the gym. the muffled sounds were now loud and clear as you stepped inside. you looked around to see a bunch of fighters sparring on blood stained mats. the gym suddenly went quiet as the door slammed behind you, causing all the fighters to stop and stare at you. you recognized a couple of them as satoru gojo and choso kamo. they both smiled at you, which made you feel slightly more comfortable.

“ah there she is” a voice boomed. you turned to see an older man walking towards you with a smile on his face. it was shiu, toji’s manager and the man that gave you this job. you watched as the fighters exchanged confused looks before looking back at you. they were obviously wondering why this random girl was standing in the middle of the gym.

“follow me. toji’s in the locker room,” shiu stated before ushering you towards the back of the gym. you followed closely behind him. your heart began to beat faster as you neared the locker room. you wondered if toji was really as scary and mean as people say he is. as soon as you stepped into the room, the fighter looked at you with sharp green eyes. toji’s eyes shot daggers into you before he turned his attention back to the hand he was wrapping.

“who’s this?” he asked in an annoyed tone, not even bothering to look up from what he was doing. you were taken aback by his demeanor. he could’ve easily asked you who you were, but he chose to completely dismiss you.

“this is y/n, your new assistant. try not to scare this one off,” shiu explained. before you could process shiu’s response, toji scoffed loudly.

the tall man paced, shaking his head in disbelief. you stood frozen unsure if you should say anything. however, it was painfully obvious toji was not thrilled to have you there.

“how many times have i told you that i don’t need a fucking assistant?” his harsh tone made your hair stand up. you knew toji had a reputation for being rude, but you didn’t realize he would be such a dick.

“i don’t care. i’m your manager, so what i say goes. you run me ragged as it is. i’m not going to continue to be your errand runner on top of that, so get over it,” shiu retorted before leaving the room.

the locker room grew uncomfortably quiet as you stared at toji. the look of absolute disdain was prevalent on his face. you waited for him to say something, but he remained silent. he left you no choice but to break the silence yourself.

“um, hi, mr. fushiguro. it’s an honor to be-“

“grab my bag,” toji cut you off. he brushed passed you out of the locker room. you were left stunned by his rudeness. you hoisted the bag over your shoulder and followed him out to the practice mats. you set his bag down on the bench beside you as you watched toji spar with gojo. toji bounced on his toes swiftly dodging every jab sent by gojo. it was incredible how such a large man was able to move so quickly. no wonder he was the best fighter in the world.

“fucking ow, dude” gojo shouted, pulling you out of your thoughts. the coaches swarmed gojo as he fell to the ground wincing. toji rolled his eyes and walked over to you.

“water” he demanded, reaching a hand out to you. ‘fucking dick’ you thought to yourself before handing him his water bottle. you were already getting sick of his attitude, but you had no choice but to suck it up. the money was too good, and you had bills to pay.

“i thought you guys were just supposed to be sparring. why did you hit him so hard?” you asked, trying to make conversation.

“we are,” toji replied bluntly not answering your question. you were surprised you got a reply at all. he tossed the water bottle back at you before stepping back onto the mat.

“toji, what the fuck were you thinking? satoru has a fight coming up. why the fuck would you make contact with him like that?” gojo’s coach shouted.

“you think his opponent isn’t gonna hit him? i was just getting him ready for his fight…not babying him like the rest of you do,” toji scoffed, stepping up to him.

“you’re done for today. go home,” shiu intervened before things got carried away.

toji grabbed his bag and stormed out of the gym. you ran after him unsure of what to do in this situation.

“don’t follow me,” he spat before getting in his car.

he sped off, leaving you alone and confused on the curb. you walked back inside to see a group of trainers now huddled around gojo. through the bodies, you could see a dark purple bruise forming on his pale torso.

“why are you still here?” shiu asked, stepping in front of you.

“toji told me not to follow him and left before i could say anything,” you responded quietly. shiu shook his head and scoffed. this was just great. toji was going to get you fired because he left without you.

“he’s such an asshole. i apologize for his behavior. i guess you can go home for the day,” he sighed. it seemed like he was more defeated than you in this whole situation. you wondered how many past assistants didn’t make it through their first day because of toji. but, if there was one thing about you, it was that you are a spiteful person. toji wasn’t going to scare you off so easily. if anything, his attitude made you want to stick around even more just to piss him off.

as the weeks went on, toji's next big match neared. his opponent was ryomen sukuna. the pair had the biggest rivalry in the mma. toji was the one, who dethroned sukuna and stripped him of his world champion title, so this fight was going to be their big rematch. he was constantly training…oh and still being a dick to you. his demands and attitude only seemed to get worse the closer his match got. but, you had started to develop a thick skin. you were used to it by now, which surprised everyone including toji.

“y/n, water,” toji demanded as he took a break from sparring.

“you know a please would be nice every once in awhile,” you said, handing him his bottle.

the fighter rolled his eyes at you before taking a drink. he still wasn’t talking to you much besides barking orders, but at least he was calling you by your name. before you knew it, the training day was over. everyone had gone home except for you. toji had a press conference the following day for his fight against sukuna, so you had to do some social media prep as well as finish some extra work shiu had given you.

you were totally absorbed in your work until you heard the door to gym open and close. no one else was supposed to be here. you quietly got up from your desk and walked into the practice area. you couldn’t see anything besides a large dark figure, who was breathing heavily.

“hello?” you called out before turning on the lights. as the gym illuminated, you could make out the figure’s face. it was toji, but his eye was black and his lip was bleeding.

“oh my god! what happened?” you asked, rushing over to him. you pulled his hood away from his face, so you could get a better look at his injuries. you turned his face gently towards you, earning a soft wince from him. his green eyes avoided your gaze as he remained silent. you grabbed his hand and led him to the trainer’s room, so you could clean up the cuts on his face. he sat on one of the table as you grabbed some alcohol and gauzes.

“so are you gonna tell me happened?” you asked with your back still turned towards toji.

he remained silent. he hadn’t made a peep since he stumbled into the gym. it was really starting to get on your nerves. it was like talking to a brick wall. you had been working for him for three months at this point, and you still had yet to have an actual conversation with him. his attitude towards you had you second guessing everything you did. you didn’t know why he hated you so much, or if he even cared enough about you to hate you. but, you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“what the fuck is your deal?” you spat, turning around to face him. his face remained blank as he stared at you. that stupid stare made your blood boil, “i have done absolutely nothing to you yet you treat me like shit if you choose to acknowledge my existence at all. because if you’re not barking orders at me, you act like i don’t exist. now, you come stumbling into the gym battered and bruised without explanation, and you can’t even answer a simple question when i’m just trying to help you.”

toji’s eyes widened in shock as you continued to yell at him. no one had ever talked to him that way. once you noticed the change in his expression, your words trailed off. this was the most emotion you had seen from him. now suddenly, you were conscious of what you were doing. silence lingered in the air once more before toji opened his mouth to speak.

“i’m sorry…” he muttered.

your ears must’ve been mistaking you. there is no way he just apologized to you.

“i have a reason for acting the way i do,” he continued, “my parents abused me when i was kid. nothing i ever did was good enough for them no matter how much i tried to get their approval. my dad would knock me around and remind me that i would always be a failure to him while my mom turned a blind eye to his abuse. my upbringing taught me that i can only rely on myself. it turned me into a cold-blooded fighter, who never let anyone ever get close to him.”

“i didn’t know that…but why take it out on me?” you asked.

“every assistant i’ve had before quit after their first day. they always claimed i was too harsh and scary. part of me wanted it that way. i didn’t need anyone doing stuff for me because sooner of later it would get personal, and that scared the shit out of me. you were different. you never showed an ounce of fear towards me, so i tried my best to drive you away because i was scared of having someone actually care about me for once,” toji explained.

you let his words settle around the both of you. everything started to make sense to you because it was true you never found toji scary. you could always tell there was a part of him that didn’t want to act that way. you knew there had to be more to him, and now you know that there is.

“you know if you ever took the time to get to know me, you would’ve known we are more similar than we seem,” you said, looking at him. he gave you confused look. how could the two of you have stuff in common? there was no way. “i don’t have the best relationship with my parents either…in fact, i haven’t talked to them since i turned 18 and moved out of their house. my dad was a drunk, who liked to take his anger out on me, and my mom did nothing to stop it. they both hated me and wished nothing but the worst for me. much like you, i always tried to seek their approval to no avail. so when you continued to shut me out, it made me feel like a kid again. i was scared that i would never get your approval. it made me feel like i would never be able to do anything right in my life just like my parents had told me so many times.”

toji couldn’t believe it. he felt so much guilt for the way he treated you. he was honestly shocked you put up with his behavior at all. if he was in your shoes, he would’ve left a long time ago.

“so why did you stick around?”

“because i wasn’t going to let my parents be right,” you smirked at him, earning a small chuckle from toji, “enough with the sad backstory stuff…are you going to tell me what the hell happened to you?”

“sukuna’s team jumped me…fucking asshole. dude knows he can’t win in a fair match up, so he pulls this shit,” toji explained.

“can’t you tell someone and get him in trouble or something?”

“i’d much rather beat his ass again,” toji said smugly.

you rolled your eyes playfully at him. men are such simple creatures always trying to assert dominance over each other. you poured some alcohol on the gauze and dabbed it lightly on his bloody lip. he hissed in response, jerking away from your touch.

“it’s not that bad, you big baby,” you giggled.

he flashed a wide smile at you. his gaze was so much softer now. the cold and mean fighter persona was slowly falling, and the real toji was coming out. you finished cleaning him up before giving him an ice pack for his eye.

“thank you, y/n. i really appreciate it,” toji said. the sincerity was evident in his voice. it sort of took you by surprise. you couldn’t believe toji of all people was capable of doing such a thing.

“don’t mention it,” you smiled back.

toji ended up keeping you company for the rest of the night while you finished your work. he insisted you use his favorite pictures of himself in the promo poster for the fight. you noticed him sneaking glances at you while you worked away. you would be lying if you said that you didn’t enjoy having his attention for once, but you would never admit that.

the next day, toji actually smiled at you when you got to the gym. shiu gave you a confused look to which you just shrugged your shoulders. you set your things down in the office and started to help shiu prepare for the press conference. before you knew it, reporters and journalists flooded the gym. you watched toji answer questions bluntly of course. he hated doing these things, so he made them as miserable for the journalists as they were for him. it was amusing to watch.

“toji, how do you plan on taking ryomen sukuna down this time?” a journalist asked, obviously trying to start some pre-match beef between the two fighters.

“exactly how i did the first time,” toji deadpanned .

“can you expand on that?”

“nope.”

you tried to stifle a laugh, but your quiet giggle didn’t escape toji’s ears. he glanced in your direction before looking away with the slightest smirk on his face.

“what did you do to him? i’ve never seen him smile especially not at you,” shiu whispered.

“well i had enough of his attitude and beat him up obviously,” you replied, gesturing to toji, who’s black eye was almost swollen shut at this point.

after what felt like forever, the press conference was over. you understood now why toji hated those things so much. you were exhausted and all you did was sit there, but nevertheless you had to help clean everything up. you were folding up chairs when toji walked over to you.

“you know if i would’ve known cleaning was a part of my job description, i would not have applied,” you joked.

“well, you have to make yourself useful somehow,” toji smirked. the scar on the corner of his lips stretching as he did so.

“i liked it better when you didn’t talk to me.”

“yeah yeah whatever. i’ll help you, whiny ass.”

toji took the folding chair out of your hands and added it to the five he was already holding. such a show off. you continued to hand toji chairs while he carried them to the supply room. toji’s demeanor was so much different now. the way he talked and acted towards you was so much softer. he would act shy if you caught him staring at you by looking away quickly or how he always came to find you during his breaks. but, your demeanor was different too. you always looked forward to the shared glances or the goofy smile he would give you after he was done sparring. in that moment, everything seemed to click. you were falling for toji.

“hey so i wanted to ask if you would be able to come to my house after we’re done here?” toji asked, putting away the final chair. you tried to hide your shock at such an abrupt question. that could be taken so many different ways, but how did he mean it?

“i meant like to help me with something,” he followed up after noticing your hesitation.

“oh yeah right! i mean that is what you pay me for,” you laughed, trying to play it off.

“you can ride with me if you want,” he offered, “you know i just figured it would be easier that way.”

“yeah that’s fine with me,” you smiled as you followed him to his car.

the ride to his apartment or pent house rather was comfortably quiet. you were just enjoying each other’s company, but you could tell something was on toji’s mind. maybe it had to do with what he needed help with, but you figured you would find out sooner or later.

you stepped into his enormous pent house, wondering how one person could occupy such a large space. the interior was dark, but the large floor to ceiling window let plenty of light in.

“wow, this place is huge,” you stated still in awe.

toji chuckled and took off his jacket, throwing it on the back of the couch. you were still looking around, so you hadn’t realized he had left the room. you only noticed when you heard two pair of footsteps echoing through the living room. you turned to see toji and a small boy standing beside him. the boy almost looked like an exact copy of toji.

“y/n meet my son, megumi,” toji said. a hint of nervousness noticeable in his voice. you were shocked to learn toji had a kid. he never talked about him. the realization hit a moment later. if toji could hide having a kid, he could definitely be secretly married or dating someone. the thought alone made your stomach turn as a pang of jealousy hit you. yet, you had no choice but to push those thoughts aside. as of right now, you were just his assistant nothing more.

“hi, megumi. it’s nice to meet you,” you smiled, crouching down to the boy’s level. megumi looked away shyly and hid behind his dad’s leg. you couldn’t help but giggle at his cuteness.

“don’t be rude, megs. say hi back,” toji encouraged, ruffling his hair, “she doesn’t bite.”

megumi hesitantly stepped out from behind toji and greeted you. his little voice made your heart melt.

“so i’m guessing he’s what you needed help with?,” you said, hoping to get a little more context.

“yeah my nanny just quit, so i need help taking care of him when i have practice and matches,” toji explained.

“well, i have absolutely no issue looking after this cutie,” you smiled down at megumi, who was still hiding behind toji, “i didn’t know you had a kid, though.”

“thank you. i’m sorry for just springing this on you. i try to keep him out of the limelight as much as possible. i want to give him the most normal childhood i can.”

“that’s really sweet of you, but it’s no issue really.”

over the course of the evening, megumi started to break out of his shell. he was incredibly blunt little boy to no surprise with a dad like toji, but he was so sweet like him too. you also learned his mom wasn’t really in the picture, which made your heart hurt for megumi, but it was nice to know toji was single. while the two of you sat on the ground, megumi climbed into your lap and continued playing like nothing. you looked over at toji who was just as surprised as you.

“looks like you two are getting along just fine,” toji chuckled. all the nerves he had about the two of you meeting were now forgotten. he didn’t know why he was so worried in the first place. you were one of the sweetest, most genuine people he’s ever met.

“well duh. he’s my little buddy. isn’t that right, megs?” the boy nodded his head and continued playing with his toys. you and toji looked at each other and smiled softly, realizing this was healing the both of you in a way.

toji’s fight with sukuna was getting closer by the day, which meant toji spent more time at the gym. this also meant you had to watch megumi more often not that you minded. the two of you mostly hung out in your office but would sit and watch toji spar from time to time. it was incredible to see megumi’s eye light up as he watched his dad.

“y/n, i want do that,” he smiled, pointing at his dad, who dodged choso’s attack before kicking the pad on his side.

“daddy’s pretty cool, isn’t he?” you asked. megumi nodded his head enthusiastically before dragging you over to one of the practice mats. you put on a pair of striking pads on your hands before crouching in front of megumi. he wasted no time punching away at them. you exaggerated his strength by falling over a couple of times, but the smile on his face was more than worth it.

toji took a break from training, looking over at you and megumi. he watched as his son punched the pads on your hands and you toppling over before telling megumi how strong he is. he couldn’t help a smile from breaking out on his face. it was the first time he realized that he was catching feelings. how could he not? you gave him a second chance when he didn’t deserve one and now you’re helping him in more way than he could think of. it wasn’t even because it was your job to help. you were simply helping him because you wanted to. he realized how much he looked forward to your presence everyday. he felt an unfamiliar comfort whenever you were around.

“little man wore himself out,” toji said as he carried a sleeping megumi into his pent house. you smiled, looking at how peaceful he was.

“he had a long day of training,” you giggled, “you know he told me he wants to be just like you.”

toji smiled to himself but didn’t say anything. he was afraid that if he tried to speak he would end up crying. those words were all he’s ever wanted to hear. he had his son’s approval, and that meant the world to him. he carefully put megumi to bed while you made yourself comfortable in the living room.

“i’m gonna take a shower. be right back,” toji said, peeking his head around the corner.

“i’ll be here,” you replied, turning on the tv.

you were so absorbed in your show that you hadn’t heard toji walk into the room. your heart nearly stopped when he plopped down next to you on the couch.

“oh my god! you scared…me,” your words trailed off to see toji half naked beside you. your eyes trailed down his bare chest, noticing every bruise and scar left from his previous fights. his happy trail peeked out of his waistband ever so slightly…his bulge extremely noticeable underneath his gray sweats.

“uh huh, you must be so scared,” he teased, waiting for your eyes to meet his. your eyes snapped up as your cheeks turned a dark crimson. your brain felt like it was short circuiting trying to think of a witty comeback, but you were too flustered. a smirk formed on toji’s lips, realizing the affect he was having on you. “you act like you’ve never seen a shirtless dude…you a virgin or something?”

in that moment, you wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and die. your body was on fire as his question repeated in your head. the air felt heavy with tension. toji’s gaze burned into you while he awaited your response.

“i’m not…i just don’t have a lot of experience” you muttered, avoiding his gaze.

“want to change that?” toji asked, placing a hand large hand on your thigh. you searched for even the smallest ounce of flippancy in his face, but he was dead serious.

“but what about megumi? he might wake up.”

“you’ll have to try and be quiet.”

you nodded as toji moved closer to you. his green eyes stared deep into yours. your heartbeat quickened as he closed the distance between the two of you. butterflies erupted in your stomach when his lips connected with yours. you leaned into the kiss, following toji’s lead. you couldn’t believe this was happening. your once ridged body began to relax as toji deepened the kiss, running his tongue along your bottom lip. you granted him entry, allowing your tongues to fight for dominance. toji overpowered you like it was nothing. the heat between your thighs only grew as he pressed you back into the couch, so he was hovering over you. with one of his hands, he spread your legs enough for his knee to fit snuggly between them. his knee pressed up against your clothed clit with the slightest amount of pressure. your body twitched at the sensation, bucking your hips against him.

“someone’s eager,” toji teased, breaking away from your lips. in any other situation, you would’ve told him to shut up, but he was right…no use in denying that now.

“how long have you been waiting for this?” he asked, trailing kisses down your neck.

“awhile,” you moaned, tugging on the hair at the nape of his neck. toji smirked against your skin before attacking your lips once more. your bodies moved in unison. need evident in your movements.

“then let’s move this along…i can’t keep you waiting any longer,” toji reached a hand between your bodies before pulling your shirt over your head. he let out a satisfied hum, seeing that you weren’t wearing a bra. this made you completely aware of how you were on full display for him. your arm instinctively covered your bare torso. with a quickness, toji pulled your arms away from your body, so he could take in your figure.

“you don’t need to hide from me, princess. you are absolutely stunning,” he hummed, licking his lips. his sweet words made your thighs squeeze around his leg. his hands ran slowly up your sides, send a chill down your spine. he stopped once he landed on your boobs. he kneaded them between his rough palms before placing one in his mouth. his tongue swirled around your nipple. you moaned at the sensation, arching your back into his touch.

toji slipped a hand down between your legs. his fingers ran along your clothed heat, feeling how you had already soaked through your leggings. his cock twitched as you throbbed against his touch. his leaking precum formed a small dark spot on the crotch of his sweats. it took everything in him not to shove his dick in you already.

“you’re so wet for me, baby…i want to taste you. is that okay?” toji asked softly, looking up at you. you nodded not trusting yourself to speak. you lifted your ass, so he could pull off your bottoms. he lowered himself between your legs now eye level with your dripping cunt. he cautiously licked a single line up your slit. he looked up at you to make sure it was okay for him to continue. you gave him a little nod just wanting to feel his tongue against you again. that was all he needed. his tongue explored your wet folds before finding your clit. he sucked and nipped at it like he was starved man eating food for the first time.

“oh fuck,” you moaned. his sweet words made your thighs squeeze around his leg. his hands ran slowly up your sides, send a chill down your spine. he stopped once he landed on your boobs. he kneaded them between his rough palms before placing one in his mouth. his tongue swirled around your nipple. you moaned at the sensation, arching your back into his touch.

toji slipped a hand down between your legs. his fingers ran along your clothed heat, feeling how you had already soaked through your leggings. his cock twitched as you throbbed against his touch. his leaking precum formed a small dark spot on the crotch of his sweats. it took everything in him not to shove his dick in you already.

“you’re so wet for me, baby…i want to taste you. is that okay?” toji asked softly, looking up at you. you nodded not trusting yourself to speak. you lifted your ass, so he could pull off your bottoms. he lowered himself between your legs now eye level with your dripping cunt. he cautiously licked a single line up your slit. he looked up at you to make sure it was okay for him to continue. you gave him a little nod just wanting to feel his tongue against you again. that was all he needed. his tongue explored your wet folds before finding your clit. he sucked and nipped at it like he was starved man eating food for the first time.

“oh fuck,” you his sweet words made your thighs squeeze around his leg. his hands ran slowly up your sides, send a chill down your spine. he stopped once he landed on your boobs. he kneaded them between his rough palms before placing one in his mouth. his tongue swirled around your nipple. you moaned at the sensation, arching your back into his touch.

toji slipped a hand down between your legs. his fingers ran along your clothed heat, feeling how you had already soaked through your leggings. his cock twitched as you throbbed against his touch. his leaking precum formed a small dark spot on the crotch of his sweats. it took everything in him not to shove his dick in you already.

“you’re so wet for me, baby…i want to taste you. is that okay?” toji asked softly, looking up at you. you nodded not trusting yourself to speak. you lifted your ass, so he could pull off your bottoms. he lowered himself between your legs now eye level with your dripping cunt. he cautiously licked a single line up your slit. he looked up at you to make sure it was okay for him to continue. you gave him a little nod just wanting to feel his tongue against you again. that was all he needed. his tongue explored your wet folds before finding your clit. he sucked and nipped at it like he was starved man eating food for the first time.

“oh fuck,” you moaned. your fingers tangled in his dark hair, tugging at it. the tension caused toji to moan against you, which sent vibration through your core. you thought the pleasure couldn’t get any more intense until he pushed a finger inside of you. his long finger curled and rubbed against your spot. the stimulation was almost too much to bare. you felt like your body was on fire with lust as you felt your high approaching. your walls clenched around toji’s finger as he messily eat your pussy.

“toji…i…i…i’m gonna cum,” you stuttered. your mind was getting fuzzy as pleasure coarsed through your veins. toji gripped his hands around your thighs pulling you into him. you rolled your hips against his tongue as you rode out your high. he lapped up your juices before coming up for air. you were still coming down when toji stood up and quickly pulled off his sweats. his fully erect dick sprung free. a string of precum falling from his tip. his dick was so much bigger than you could’ve imagined. your mouth watered as you sat up. the only thing you wanted was to make toji feel as good as he made you feel. you reached out to wrap a hand around his dick, but he held your wrist to stop you.

“as much as i want to feel your soft lips around my cock, i need be inside that sweet pussy of yours before i fucking cum,” he grunted, stroking himself a couple of times before lining himself up with your entrance. he ran the tip along your drench fold, mixing your juice and his precum together down his shaft. he hissed as he pushed his tip inside of you. your walls instinctively gripped around his cock as he slowly pushed more of his length inside of you. he gave you only a moment to adjust before thrusting all the way into you. his tip brushed up on your cervix, causing you to yelp. your cunt was being stretched in every way possible.

“so full,” you whimpered, clawing at his arms.

“but it feels so good. doesn’t it, princess?” he gritted through his teeth as he pulled your hips to meet his thrusts.

you hummed in response. your brain felt like mush only being able to focus on toji bullying your pussy. a ball of tension started to form in your lower stomach again.

“cmon use your words, baby,” he cooed only to plow into you faster.

“feels so good,” you whined.

this only encouraged toji to go harder on you. his hips relentlessly snapped into you as he placed one of your legs over his shoulder. this new angle allowed him to hit your sweet spot with every thrust. you gasped and moaned not being able to take much more. the sound of skin slapping echoed through the room. it wasn’t long before you felt toji twitch inside of you.

“i’m getting close, princess…you think you can cum for me one more time,” toji moaned, trying his best hold himself together.

you couldn’t even give him a response before he pushed down on your lower stomach. you felt every vein and curve of his dick as he plowed into you. without warning, the ball of tension popped as you came on toji’s dick. he tried to his best to help you ride out your high, but he couldn’t take anymore. he pulled out of you, jerking himself off before releasing onto your stomach. his body shivered as he came down from his climax. you both caught your breath before looking at each other. toji’s hair was stuck to his forehead, and his chest glistened with sweat. a pink blush dusted his cheeks. he looked so beautiful in this state.

“here let me clean you up,” he said softly while putting his sweats back on. he went to the kitchen and ran a rag under some warm water. he gently wiped your tummy as you stared at him sweetly.

“thank you,” you whispered with a smile. he smiled back before helping you get dressed again.

“it’s late. you can sleep over if you would like,” toji offered. of course, you accepted the invitation. you tried to stand up, so you could follow toji to his room, but your legs gave up on you.

“sorry about that,” toji chuckled, scooping you and carrying you to his bedroom.

after the hookup, your relationship remained the same. there was no weird or awkward tension, which was something you worried about. it had only happened that once, but you couldn’t stop thinking about it. every time you looked at him, all you could think of was him on top of you. you would be lying if you said your feelings hadn’t gotten worse after you had sex. but, everything was so perfect. you didn’t want to risk ruining it by confessing. little did you know toji was feeling the exact same way. neither of you dared to bring up that night not out of embarrassment but out of fear of ruining such a good thing.

but one night, everything changed.

toji had asked you to megumi for the night. he said that he had a business dinner to attend that night. it made sense since his fight with sukuna was only a few weeks away now. you were making dinner for megs when your phone started buzzing incessantly. you had a bunch of notifications from twitter, so you opened the app to see what the hell was going on. toji was trending, which is never a good thing. you clicked the tag on to be met with a bunch of news accounts posting articles with headlines like “MMA Star Toji Fushiguro spotted having a romantic evening with Ryomen Sukuna’s ex Yuki Tsukumo amidst their big rematch”. you could feel your heart shatter into a million pieces. so many thoughts ran through your head. why didn’t he tell you he had a girlfriend? did he pretend to be nice to you and make you feel special just you could become his babysitter? you felt so stupid. you trusted him…let him see you in ways no one has before. but were you even allowed to be upset? after all, you were just his assistant.

“y/n? why crying?” megumi asked. you hadn’t realized tears were streaming down your cheeks.

“no reason, buddy. are you ready for dinner?,” you sniffled, trying your best to put on a smile for him.

megumi nodded as you picked him up, tickling his tummy as you did so. he giggled and kicked feet while you carried him to his chair. you watched him eat. you were planning to eat with him, but the thought of toji being with another woman ruined your appetite. once megs was done, you cleaned him up and got him ready for bed. toji came home not long after you put megumi down.

“how was he?” toji asked seemingly avoiding your gaze. he knew you knew about the headlines. all you wanted was for him to look at you and tell you the truth, but he didn’t. you weren’t entitled to the truth, but you felt like you deserved it.

“he was amazing per usual…” you trailed off, “i’m going to be heading home now.”

you grabbed your bag and headed for the door. slipping on your shoes, you opened the door.

“y/n, wait,” toji called out. a small part of you hoped he would tell you the headlines were fake...just some to help to help ease the pain. you turned to look at him, but his eyes still avoided yours. you hated it.

“could you use the back entrance? there’s a lot of paps out front?” you nodded, trying your best to hold back more tears at least until you were out of his sight.

as much as you hoped things would stay the same, they didn’t. toji was back to being cold and avoidant. it’s like all those months of trying to get him to open up to you never happened. the sweet, goofy toji that you had just gotten to know disappeared as quickly as he came. you didn’t have the energy to try and get him back. if toji wanted things to go back to how they were because he got a girlfriend, then who were you to interfere with that? it would be one thing if you just had to deal with him at the gym, but yuki started coming around more and more often. it killed you to see her hang onto toji and making him smile like you used to. luckily, you didn’t have to deal with it for much longer. you decided once his fight with sukuna is over that you weren’t going to continue being his assistant. you had found another job at a coffee shop. sure the money wasn’t as good, but you couldn’t continue to put yourself through this misery. you just needed to get away from toji and try to forget he ever existed.

today was the today. toji was finally having his rematch with sukuna, which meant it was your last day dealing with his bullshit. the arena rumbled with screams as toji made his entrance. he paid no mind to the cameras shoved in his face. he was completely focused. yuki, shiu, and the rest of his team followed behind him with you being at the very back not that you cared. you took your seat in the front row as toji entered the ring. he bounced on the balls of his feet, shuffling around the ring before joining sukuna in the center. the two bumped fists as the referee begun the round. toji wasted no time throwing blows at sukuna, who barely dodged each swing. you could see the pure determination in toji’s eyes right before he landed a left hook straight the sukuna’s jaw. the crowd cheered, watching sukuna stumble backwards.

“go toji! that’s my man!” yuki screeched. you rolled your eyes at her obnoxiousness. the bell rang to signify the end of round one. toji went to his corner, where he reconvened with shiu and his team. he glanced at you for a moment, looking away once you realized your eyes were already on him. he needed to know that he still had attention despite his behavior.

as each round passed, you could tell toji was getting more and more pissed off. he wanted this fight to be over more you did. the last round started. it was now or nothing. you were on the edge of your seat…you still wanted him to win. sukuna landed a solid kick to toji’s head, causing toji to go down. you covered your eyes and turned away. in all the times you had watched toji fight, you had never seen him go down like that. you braced yourself for the worst until you heard the crowd chanting his name. you looked at the ring to see him putting sukuna in a chokehold. sukuna struggled to break free, but toji was not letting up. despite his best efforts, he ended up tapping out. the referee handed toji the championship belt before raising his arm to deem him the winner.

as toji exited the ring, his eyes were solely on you. he started to walk towards you, but yuki ran in front of you into his arms. she kissed face, making a big show for the cameras. you still tried to make your way to him, so you could congratulate him on his win, but journalists and paparazzi shoved past you to get pictures and interviews from the couple. he gave you sad look before you turned to leave.

you went to the gym to clean out your office. you preferred to get it over with while no one was around especially not toji. while you were cleaning out the drawers of your desk, you found some pictures megumi had drawn for you. you teared a bit at the sight of them. leaving megumi was going to be the hardest part of this whole thing.

“i thought i might find you here,” a voice called out from the doorway. you look up to see toji leaning against the doorframe.

“yeah…congratulations by the way,” you said quietly, wiping your tears.

“thank you. look there is something i need to tell you,” he replied before taking a look around the room, “ wait, why is all your stuff gone?”

“because i’m leaving, toji. you won’t have to pretend to like me anymore.”

“what? i never pretended to like you. i opened up to you and told you things about myself that no one else knows. hell, i brought you around my kid.”

“yeah so you could have a babysitter while you went out with yuki…i’m not stupid, toji. that’s why you wanted me around. that’s why you got me to trust you enough to let you in my pants. actually maybe i am stupid for trusting you after you treated me like shit in the first place,” you seethed, shoving stuff in your bag before pushing past him.

“the whole relationship with yuki was a publicity stunt…” toji blurted out. you turned to look at him in disbelief. there’s no way you heard him correctly. “none of it was real…that’s what i came here to tell you. well, it was one of the things i wanted to tell you.”

“and you didn’t feel the need to tell me? you think i came to your house everyday and help out with megumi because i had to? i did that shit because i care about YOU! i put up with the yuki shit because of YOU! because i liked you and just wanted to see you happy, but you couldn’t give less of a shit,” you shouted, tears now streaming down your face. toji was completely dumbfounded…you had just admitted for feelings for him.

“you like me?” he muttered. guilt dripped from his words. he knew he was hurting, but he didn’t know how bad it was. you just scoffed and headed towards to the door again. “i like you too…”

you stopped in your tracks. did he really just say that? after all the shit he put you through, he picked now of all times to confess. he knew he should’ve done it months ago even before you two slept together. if he had, he would’ve never had to be in that stupid fake relationship. he could be celebrating his win with you and megumi in peace instead of at a lavish party. for a moment, you thought about giving into him…fuck you wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and kiss him, but you weren’t going to let him make a fool out of you again.

“you really think i would fall for that?” you scoffed.

“y/n, i would rather never fight again than let you walk through that door.” you had never seen toji look so serious before. you stared at him, waiting to see if he would falter, but he didn’t.

“do you really mean that?” you asked, taking a step towards him.

“i’ve never meant anything more in my life. will you please stay here with me?,” he smiled, grabbing your hands. he pulled you close to him so your chest was touching his. his green eyes searched yours, hoping you would believe him.

“fine, i’ll stay, not as your assistant but as your girlfriend,” you giggled as you pressed your lips to his.

“sounds perfect to me.”

the apparition

synopsis: after suguru’s passing, his presence seemed to linger. you thought you were crazy for thinking he was still hanging around until he appeared in front of you.

cw: mentions of death, depression, su*cidal ideations, longing for death, spiraling of mental health, ANGST, not proofread

word count: 2.8k

a/n: please let me know if i left any warnings out and i will add them! this was inspired by the song above.

You were haunted.

Haunted by him…

It had been months since Suguru passed. Not a day had passed where you didn’t think about him. You wondered if there was anything you could have done to make him stay. You continuously racked your brain trying to find something, but you always came up empty handed. In reality, there was no way anyone could have saved him from the path he chose. 

You didn’t even know why you cared so much. You hadn’t talked in years after he broke your heart by defecting from jujutsu society. But, he was the love of your life after all…maybe that’s why you could never fully let him go. 

He had tried numerous times to reach out to you, but you always ignored him, knowing that no good could come from it. Yet, deep inside, you still longed to feel his touch just one more time. 

“Whatcha thinking about?” Satoru asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Suguru…sometimes it feels like his presence still lingers…” you replied in a quiet voice.

“I know what you mean. Maybe he’s watching over us…whether that be a good or bad thing,” Gojo smirked softly to himself, wrapping his arm around your shoulders giving you a squeeze.

You both stood up and went your separate ways. There was still that feeling you couldn’t shake. It felt like something or someone was watching you…

That feeling remained as you tucked yourself into bed. Your eyes fluttered softly as you began to drift off to sleep.

“Y/N…” a familiar voice called out.

There’s no way…it couldn’t be. Your eyes shot open, looking around your room until your eyes fell on him.

“Suguru…” you muttered in disbelief.

“Long time no see, pretty girl,” he smiled, sitting down on the edge of your bed. 

Rather than feeling frightened, a strange warmth engulfed you as you stared at him. It was undoubted Suguru. His hair fell on his shoulders just as you had remember it. His soft gaze and warm smile unchanged. 

“How are you here? I don’t understand.”

He just chuckled softly like he always used to when you tell him a stupid joke. The chuckle you had been dying to hear since he left. You carefully crawled towards him still not understanding what was going on. You reached out to touch his face. He allowed his head to lean into your touch, allowing you to feel his weight against your hand. 

“I have to go now, pretty,” he sighed, placing his hand on yours.

“Wait! No!” You shouted, but it was no use. He was gone just as fast as he appeared.

You still felt his face against your hand, clutching it closely to your chest. Tears began to fall uncontrollably from your eyes. Your heart felt like it had been ripped out of your chest. You still couldn’t understand what had just happened, but you were consumed by dread like you lost him all over again. 

As you went about your day, you couldn’t stop thinking about your dream or whatever it was. His chuckle echoed in head, forbidding you from focusing on your work. Why did he choose to appear now? Why did he appear at all?

“Wow, you look like shit,” Shoko stated, setting a cup of coffee in front of you.

“Thanks. I couldn’t sleep last night. I had a really weird dream…at least I think it was a dream. I don’t know,” you sighed.

“You don’t know if you had a dream?” She questioned.

“It’s complicated. It felt so real.”

“What was it about?”

“Suguru.”

“That’s nothing new. You think about him all the time.”

“No, this time was different. He visited me last night. I touched him. I heard his voice. He was real, but then he just vanished,” you explained, feeling tears sting your eyes.

“Maybe lack of sleep is getting to you,” Shoko shrugged, not giving your dream much thought.

You wanted to believe her. But, you knew what you saw. Suguru was real even though there was no way to prove it to anyone else. There was just no way he wasn’t. 

Later that night, you laid in bed, wondering if he would appear again. You weren’t sure if you wanted him to or not. The familiarity and warmth you felt when he was around brought you so much comfort, but nothing compared to the immense dread you felt when he left. You cursed him in your thoughts for leaving the first place. You never got to build a family with him like you had always planned. 

That night you tossed and turned until you felt your bed dip behind you. A pair of strong, familiar arms wrapped around you.

“You’re back,” you whisper, not yet turning to look at him.

“Of course, I am, pretty girl. I missed you,” Suguru said softly into your ear.

Your emotions balled up inside of you as tears stung your eyes. You were so angry at him but at the same time you were so happy to feel him again. But, Suguru didn’t have the right to say he missed you. He was the one who left in the first place.

“Then why did you leave?” you sniffed, finally turning on your side to face him.

He gave you sympathetic look, wiping the tears from your cheeks with his thumb. But, he didn’t say anything just yet. You could tell he was trying to find the right words. He knew he had already hurt you enough. He didn’t want to make that mistake again, but he wanted to be honest as well.

“You know, I had to, pretty girl,” he replied, “It’s just as I told Satoru. I was trying create the perfect world. I couldn’t live in a world where we had to put our lives in danger just to protect those who weren’t strong enough to protect themselves. It made me sick.”

“You know what made me sick, Suguru? The love of my life turning into a murderer. You didn’t care about just killing nonsorcerers…you killed countless of our own!” You shouted now with tears freely falling from your eyes.

This was the conversation you never got to have with him. You wanted to hear it from him about why he chose the path he did…about why he chose it over your love.

“I had to do what I had to, my love, please understand that,” he said softly.

“That’s the thing, Suguru. I will never understand why you chose that over us,” you choked out, fully sitting up now.

“I was trying to make the world a better place for us. I just wish you could have realized that.”

“Our love should’ve been enough to make you stay…We never got to start the family we always talked about. All I ever wanted was you…” you cried, breaking down completely.

Suguru quietly made his way to you, crouching down to your level. You looked at him with teary eyes, wondering why he never attempted to make things work and stay with you. He stayed silent for a moment longer before speaking.

“Your love was enough to keep me around for as long as I did. I just couldn’t stand to drag you into a mess that I created,” he said softly.

“You still dragged me into your mess, Suguru! Whether you meant to or not!” You shouted, pushing him back slightly. 

“I understand that now. I am so sorry I left things the way that I did. I’m sorry that I never gave you the closure you deserved. I thought I was protecting you, but I ended up hurting you anyway,” he said now with tears flowing from his own eyes.

You couldn’t help but wipe his tears like he had done for you so many times before. As the silence settled around you, his dark purple eyes gazed into yours. A blush dusted upon your cheeks, remembering how he always used to stare lovingly at you before giving you a kiss. It seemed so silly to cling onto such a small detail, but it was one of your favorite things about him. For a moment, you lost yourself in his eyes before they drifted down to your lips. Suguru slowly leaned towards you until your lips touched. A fire erupted inside you…a fire that you thought had long been extinguished…a fire you never thought you’d feel again. You melted into the kiss, letting him take control. As Suguru deepened the kiss, you crawled into his lap never once breaking away from his lips. It was so natural the way your bodies moved together. His cold hands ran up your shirt, sending a chill down your spine. The coldness of his touch seemed to snap you back to reality.

“What’s wrong, pretty girl?” Suguru looked up at you concerned.

“We can’t do this…you aren’t real,” you whispered.

“Of course, I’m real,” he smiled at you.

“No…I’m gonna open my eyes, and you’re gonna disappear again,” you choked out.

And that’s actually what happened…you snapped your eyes open to find your room completely empty with no trace of Suguru. You pulled your knees to your chest, sobbing uncontrollably. The dread consumed you once again. The pain in your chest almost seemed too much to bare in that moment.

“Why are you never real?” You thought to yourself as you drifted off to sleep. 

Over the next week, Suguru became a part of your nightly routine. You almost expected to see him every night. Each night, the same thing occurred. He would show up and give you comfort before disappearing once again. You knew what to expect, but it somehow became more painful each time he left. It was like he was draining the life from you. You could barely get out of bed because you thought that maybe if you stayed he would come back. Satoru and Shoko grew more and more concerned with your condition, but nothing they did could fill the emptiness you felt without Suguru.

“Y/N, you need to stop this,” Shoko said, sitting beside you in your bed.

“Shoko’s right. This isn’t healthy,” Satoru added.

“I don’t know how to make it stop…I’m not sure I want to,” you replied weakly.

“You haven’t left your bed in almost three days…” Shoko stated.

You could see the worry in both of their faces. They wanted to help you so badly, but they couldn’t help you if you didn’t help yourself first. You knew the longer this situation went on the more it would hurt you and them in the process. You were clinging onto someone who wasn’t real.

“As much as it hurts, you have to let him go,” Satoru said with a sad smile.

He was right, but his words were like knives piercing through your heart. It hurt to hear the truth. You couldn’t live with this delusion anymore. It was either you let him go or you die with him.

As you waited for Suguru to appear, you rehearsed what you were going to say to him in your head. You paced back and forth, wondering if this was really the right thing to do. A part of you wondered if it would be better to just go with him, then to exist in a world without him. You knew the pain of living on with nothing but his memory, and you weren’t sure you wanted to do that anymore.

“Pretty girl,” Suguru said warmly, interrupting your thoughts, “You look upset. What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” you blurted out faster than your brain could comprehend.

“What do you mean?” The hurt in his eyes evident.

“This delusion or dream or whatever this is,” you replied, “It’s beginning to make me feel like I’m crazy or something. I mean I’m seeing my dead boyfriend, talking to him, touching him, kissing him. That’s insane.”

Suguru remained silent. His face was blank with no readable emotion. He just nodded his head and gestured for you to continue as if he knew what was coming.

“Suguru, I love you so much. But, I can’t bare the pain of you leaving anymore. You either have to take me with you or let me go,” you croaked out through your tears.

“You know I can’t take you with me, pretty girl. You have the rest of your life to live. I’m not going to take that away from you,” he sighed.

“What if I wanted to go with you…” you whispered. 

Suguru shook his head. This hurt you, but this conversation hurt him even more. He wanted nothing more but to take you with him.He just couldn’t bring himself to go through with it. You were one of the last good people in the world in his eyes, and you were so young. He couldn’t throw away your potential for his own selfish benefit. 

“It’s not your time yet, love. I’ll leave you with my memory for now,” he smiled.

You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces the moment those words left his mouth. You flung your arms around him, clinging to these final moments with him. He pressed his lips against yours one last time before pulling away.

“Goodbye, pretty girl,” he said with the gentle smile he always had.

“Goodbye, Sugu,” you sniffled.

Months had gone by since you last saw Suguru. The pain got easier to manage as time went on. Shoko and Satoru supported you through the whole thing and reassured you that you had made the right choice. It was better to live without Suguru than waste your life away longing for him. It felt like a dark cloud had lifted from above you. You still thought about Suguru from time to time but not nearly as much as you used to.

You were walking back to your apartment after work. The sky was overcast, and the sound of rain hitting the sidewalk was faint. A ding rang out as a text from Satoru popped up on your phone. It was a selfie of him and Nanami with the new student they had started training. Satoru and the student were making silly faces while Nanami look as serious as ever. You giggled to yourself before hearting the image. As you looked up from your phone, you couldn’t help but notice a man walking in front of you. His long black hair was tied perfectly in a bun. The way he walked seemed eerily familiar. Even the way his hoodie drooped from his shoulder was recognizable.

“No…It couldn’t be…There is no way” you thought to yourself.

You caught a glimpse of the man’s face as he crossed the street. His eyes, nose, and mouth were undeniably Suguru’s. You couldn’t believe it. You had never seen him during the day like this. Your pace quicken as you tried to catch up with him.

“Suguru,” you shouted as you closed the distance between the two of you.

He stopped dead in his tracks almost like he was shocked that you saw him. He turned to look at you…his eyes immediately meeting yours.

“It’s really you,” you said in disbelief.

You stepped closer to him, reaching out a hand to touch him. He held your wrist gently as you placed your hand on his heart. As you studied his features, the hole in your chest reopened. All the healing you did was ripped from you as he looked into your eyes. He could see the pain in your face…he never meant for this to happen again.

“You weren’t supposed to see me, pretty girl,” he sighed.

“What do you mean?” You questioned.

“I still watch over you, pretty girl. I couldn’t let you go that easily,” he explained, “I just wanted to see you happy again.”

“I could be happy with you, though! Please, Suguru, just take me with you,” you begged.

He stepped away from you, allowing your hand to fall from his chest. It wasn’t an easy decision for him to make, but he needed to do what was best for you. He couldn’t allow himself to hold you back any longer.

“We will meet again someday, pretty girl,” he said softly.

“No, Sugu, please.”

“This will be the last time you’ll be seeing me for awhile. I love you, pretty girl,” he smiled before walking away slowly vanishing into thin air.

You wanted to run after him, but your feet were cemented to the ground. It wasn’t until after Suguru disappeared that you could move again. You ran in the direction he went, but it was too late. He had let you go for good this time…

"bright are the stars that shine, dark is the sky, i know this love of mine will never die"

hiromi higuruma is so beatles coded, he listens to "and i love her" while he's on his way to work and probably listens to "michelle" too and is caught up on all his Beatles lore. "good day sunshine" "doctor robert" "here comes the sun" and "a hard days night" are his favorite songs, hands down. a black suit and tie, he cannot get anymore handsome but he does anyways, with his ringo starr-like hooked nose. he slow dances to the songs with you in the living room on a rainy Sunday afternoon. he gazes at you with pure adoration as you hum along with the tunes of his favourite songs, knowing that he's rubbing off on you just a teeny bit

clubbing? whats that? he only knows about playing his vinyl records and tapping his leg to it as he reads a book in his rickety ass chair that squeaks and groans every time he moves in it. "its vintage" he claims but that thing looks like its from the prehistoric era, taking its dying breath, with his butt print imprinted in its rotting foam.

he's probably the type to bake in his free time, which is why when he started dating you, he baked all of your favorite pastries and gave them to you, saying that he was bored so tried his hand at baking and he didnt know that you loved what he made. he's the type to listen to romantic music at any time of the day, whether he's happy or sad or just existing. hes a man of many words but more songs. hes your man in the end of it all