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T Journey Journal #8

Days since start: 97

God it’s been almost 100 days since I’ve started T. I can hardly belive it half the time if I’m being honest, but it’s gotten to the part where everyone can hear my voice getting lower and my happy trail is visible in low light and there’s hair on my upper legs and arms and I have a little puberty stache and- I could cry man I actually look like Sean now, I look like myself. I’m so unbelievably happy and my T dosege was upped last week so I’m doing two pumps of T instead of one and I cannot wait to see what happens. Guys I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy about my body, or my voice or anything.

Speaking of being happy, things are just going good I general:D A friend of mine and I got an apartment and we’ve had it for about two almost three weeks now:D If you’ve read my past entries you know living with Mamá was A Struggle (TM) but I’m ok now!! And like!! I can hang out with friends!! And lovers!! Whenever I want to (and we can bc work and schedules)!!! Like damn this is nice, stuffs going pretty nice, I like this:))

I’ll try to be more consistent with blogging now that I’m moved and all that jazz, and maybe even start posting photos along with these journals:D I know for a FACT I want my happy trail on the internet, it just needs to be seen by as many people as possible (can you tell I’m proud of it?:))))) But until then, stay safe, stay queer:DD

T Journey Journal #7

Days Since Start: 61

Damn I’m getting bad at updates with these, honestly to my own detractors more than anything, like one other person reads these and it’s my favorite toxic yaoi ex (luv u 4realsies u know who u are) but I digress-

The body hair is body hairing!!! Like it’s starting to be visible enough for other people to see it and I don’t have to be 3cm from the mirror to see it:)) Right now my happy trail is what’s most visible but my mustache is a close second:)) Haven’t seen any evidence of a beard but one thing at a time:)) I’ve also had my voice drop once and that’s super super exciting:DD It happened like a few weeks ago so I’ve had time to adjust and all that jazz:)) Don’t know if I’ve had any like jaw changes or anything bc 1. My jaw is already Super Chissled and 2. I’m on gel so all the traits are gonna show up super slowly. Either way I’m happy with where this is going and I can’t wait to see what else happens:))

And I have a much much better general life update this time, I’m getting an apartment:DD With a partner of mine nonetheless:DD Our move in date is the 29th of this month, which is also trans day of visibility funnily enough (they’re non-binary:))) so hopefully next time I’m blogging it won’t be about my mom making me feel worthless or anything like that, it’ll be stupid gay stories and such:D

Also funny little tidbit, I have some friends in their 30s and such who found out I had a tumblr acc and that the site was still active and their reactions have ranged from “that’s still a thing??” To “why are you at the devil’s sacrament??” And it’s honestly kinda funny:)) But yeah seanie-boy out I’m like on the clock for my job and gotta do stuff ab it((:

T Journey Journal #6

Days since start: 41

Hey remember in the last post where I said my period was super light and there were no cramps? Yeah we’re back to how my periods were before. You ever cry in the back of your work bc your organ is ripping itself apart from the inside? I have. Would not recommend.

HOWEVER!!! However, I do have good news:D I’m starting to grow hair on my stomach!!! And chest!!!! It’s currently suuuuper short and thin but seeing where it’s all growing I’m gonna be SO hairy come spring/summer I cannot wait>:DD There’s even like three hairs that ARE super long and thick and dark and I can’t wait until they all look like that:DD

And now onto the obligatory Shit My Parents Get Up To portion, they suggested I live in a sundown town to save up money. Not joking. My grandma lives and works out west (like an hour and a half from here) and she has a spare bedroom I could rent once I saved enough money working out there and my mom’s been trying to talk me into going. But ya know, I’m Trans. and Mexican. and Pagan. Not things you wanna be in a gd SUNDOWN TOWN!!!! And this is after I got a job, I haven’t even gotten my first paycheck here what the hell are these people talking ab???? I’m gonna get a second job then get the hell out of here what the hell man.

T Journal Entry #5

Days since start: 22

Today was the first day I noticed a change in body hair, my arm hair is thicker. It’s not like corse or anything and it’s just the ones on my forearms but god I almost cried this morning. My body hair is legit black but it’s always been so thin no one ever sees it, I hope people start seeing it now:) Other than that I can feel my voice dropping. It’s happening slowly, but it’s happening nonetheless. I can tell it’s happening most often whenever I sing, which is cool bc it makes singing some of my favorite songs easier:D Still need to learn how to pitch down for Chappell Roan though((:

On other exciting news, there’s a cougar who’s flirting with me. Like, deadass older than my mom type cougar, throwing big hints that she wants me. Part of me is being a little narcissist and not complaining. The other part of me is asking why she’s flirting with a man who’s closer in age to her teenage son than her, but I fear the narcissist is winning. Thankfully, I am a man of many hoes and there’s this really sweet dude who’s like, so so sooooo down bad for me it’s damn near adorable. Like “awwww you want me to choke you and call you a good boy so baaaad<33” type adorable. I’m just glad I have sexual relations where I can be more dom, I’ve always felt more comfortable like that:))

T Journey Journal Entry #4

Days since start: 12

Almost two weeks into T and I’ve gotten my first period. And lemme tell you this, HOLY FUCK. For the first time in my LIFE my period is manageable. Like I’m talking no cramps, no headaches, such a light flow I can use the smallest pads available, and I didn’t even realize it started bc for the first day there was no blood in my boxers or anything!! I’m staying on this shit for this and this alone what the hell-

Other than that and a little bit more of being an ✨oily boi✨, haven’t seen anything else. Actually, it has gotten more difficult to talk in my regular register, like I’ve had to drop my voice so it doesn’t hurt, so maybe that’s my voice starting to drop naturally? I don’t know, part of me feels like it’s too early to tell((:

Still no luck in finding a job but I’m a little less anxious about it now. Think it’s bc I went out to the club last night and like, interacted with people:)) I also might be hanging out with friends tomorrow so that’s cool:D

T Journey Journal Entry #3

Time Since Start: 5 days

Oily. I am nothing but oily. Like at this point I better be careful before the US tries to invaide me for “freedom”((: Usually if my mental health gets bad I know I can go one day without a shower and my hair and skin will feel fine. But now? I’m not sure that’s possible. There’s so much oil on my skin and face and hair that I’m sure later down the line I’ll have to shower twice a day. Not in the sense that I’m complaining by any means, I knew this was gonna happen I just didn’t know it would be the first thing to happen on T. Haven’t noticed much else besides continuing to feel more awake and all that. Although, have been waaaaay hungrier as of late, much to the detriment of the ingridient house Mamá and Mr. Tennessee have cultivated((:

Speaking of, hopefully talking about Mamá won’t be a part of every entry, but it does remind me of a comment she made at Christmas. Mamá being herself means Christmas is usually filled with more practical gifts, socks, chones, so on so forth, and one of those gifts were shampoo and conditioner. It’s a brand that works well for my hair but she threw in a comment about how my younger sister (who got the same type of shampoo/conditioner) and I had “gross oily hair”. Kinda threw me for a loop bc I’ve never heard her talk ab any of us like that. She meant it as a joke or throwaway comment but that was just, uncalled for.

Figured I’d use this blog to document my T journey, no reason I shouldn’t

Time since start: 3 days

Only a few days in and the only noticeable differences are an increase in energy and much, much oilier skin. Usually I can go a day without washing my face, I don’t think that’s the case anymore. Strangely, I’ve worn skirts more since I’ve started T than I ever have. Maybe it’s the subconscious of “I’m finally a dude I can do whatever I want”

I haven’t gotten any snide remarks from Mamá or anyone else since the whole “you’re irresponsable for starting T w/o having a job” lecture the day I got the gel. I’ll have a job soon, I’ve applied to a place my friend works and I’ll call them soon, as well as a second place where I know the manager. The sooner I can be out of here the better, especially since they’re kicking me out May 1st.

The gel smells like sanitizer