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Journal - Blog Posts
He'll check everything.
(I hate bureaucracy of any kind, but I also have to thank her. Bureaucracy is about documents. And, of course, our knowledge of Age of Sail is drawn from books, works of art, films and documents.)
Journal Page #2
Joan of Arc rant
Scraps from today
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚ 𝓔𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓼𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓼 ˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
Happy Easter you guys! ✝️💐🐇🐤🐰🐣 I'm way too happy with these spreads and I had an AMAZING day with my family and my fiancé ansjsj, it was BLISS™
⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝓞𝓼𝓵𝓸 𝓼𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭 ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖
Kind of old news, but I finally put together a spread with stuff from my little trip to Oslo a while back! Also not my favourite thing but I like the blues 🩵💙🐋🌊⛵💎 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
💍A spread about how BOTH of my engagement rings were too big for me✨
So yeah, my promise ring has always been way too big for me, I never wore it on my ring finger, but it didn't really matter because it was just a promise ring after all. I get engaged, my engagement ring is WAY TOO BIG, I can't wear it on any finger. It was custom made so idk how they messed up that badly, but also my hands are kinda smol IG so it's alright??? My fiancé wanted to resize it but both families disagreed,... traditions and superstitions and all that stuff. They did have a solution, I won't go into detail really, but I didn't like it and my fiancé got me another ring. The second one was also custom made, my fiancé was told there was no way it would even fit me but he insisted it needed to be that small. Good thing he did because even with that,... the ring is still TOO BIG FOR MY RING FINGER, but I guess it's fine because I can just wear it how I'd wear my promise ring. Why haven't my fingers changed for the past FIVE years....who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but yeah that's the 🧋 ig.
Really wanted to post my advent calendar spread while you can still see the background, because I really spent so much time choosing one that wouldn't overwhelm it and I love it so much! 🦌🌲🎄❄️🦌🌲🎄❄️
🌈🎀✨My new scrapbook journal✨🎀🌈
I realised I never posted this here, especially with the edges done 🌈 And if you want to watch me decorate the cover, 👇🏻 link under the cut as always 💙🩵💚💛🧡❤️🩷💜
So, I don't have anything to post until I start my drawing challenge 🎀tomorrow🎀 but then, ..why not show you my silly little egg themed habit tracker ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ everyone out there doing fancy themes like one can't just: 🍳🥚✨ ¯\_ʘ‿ʘ_/¯
🩵💙🌿🩵 Art journal spreads that need minimal effort (or less) 🩵🌿💙🩵
🩵❤️💛🧡💜 Some slightly older collage spreads I still love.. (≧▽≦) 💜🧡💛❤️🩵
🧡🍄💛🍄💜 Today's spread for absolutely no reason 💜🍄💛🍄🧡
(now if I go mushroom picking some day soon I won't be able to do this again smh)
Today's spread in my journal, because boop...
🪷🪻🌺🏵️ ♪ First spread vibes ♪ 🏵️🌺🪻🪷
⊹⊹⊹🩷🍋⊹🧡🪷⊹⊹💜🍊⊹💛🪻⊹⊹⊹
Setting up a new journal and I can't bring myself to do inktober today (I'll catch up tomorrow)
⊹⊹⊹🩷🍋⊹🧡🪷⊹⊹💜🍊⊹💛🪻⊹⊹⊹
Old vs. New. same brand, same format
🎀🎀"To be loved is to be changed"🎀🎀
Inktober, Day 17- Journal
🤍🩷💜 "My (only slightly beat up) journal" 💜🩷🤍
Actually good photos of this poor journal so it can be remembered for the beauty it used to be (◕ᴗ◕✿) vs. now
My Dream Journal
I just posted on my dream journal on Wattpad. I'll eventual update it with the ones from my original journal, which was on Quotev. It shares this posts title. There's not a lot on the Wattpad version, but I will update whenever I can. If anyone is interested, my name on there is R0ch (zero not o)
Pro tip:
Number all your sketchbooks like they are Gravity Falls journals, so that when you are famous and dead, people will get obsessed with finding them all.
Bonus points if you skip one number to just fuck with the historians and make their life harder... and so that people keep hunting for that one nonexistent mythical sketchbook.
Making a first post on any social media is like placing a really pretty sticker or writing in a brand new journal. There’s no going back and I think that’s why I only have two Instagram posts and also a really nice, really empty journal
4th July
Page 25,26,27:
"It was quite a night, I have to admit. Only thing I can wrap my head around about this is, that I expected it. I knew it would happen, just didn't know it'll happen like this specifically. You were sleeping over last night, I was jittery all day before it because of the mare excitement it caused me, not because I was lonely in need of company, it's because you are truly something. You're confusing, you confuse me all the time, like a wall is all I can describe you as. You're expressive in your own way, I see that, you're in no way barricaded from your emotions, as it looks like, but yet I still feel it's something you tend to put up for the sake of others and not yourself. I knew I won't find anything if I look deeply into your eyes the way you like, or hear it in the tone of your voice, or see it in twich of your mouth, flap of your hands, tap of your leg and posture of your back. That's where that wall is, in front of your soul so no one can be genuinely let in. No one has ever saw you cry, not even Barnaby, so I thought, maybe I can make you crumble the wall one day and see what's inside. No one builds a wall around something that's nothing to hide. It sounds selfish and curious, I know that, but one can stay put for so long, you need to let even the strongest chain relax and let go of all the pressure it might be holding. So it doesn't snap, since it's not indestructible.
You came over with that relaxed smile you always own, nothing seemed wrong really, I had rather high expectation placed on my shoulders for that night, it was my secret little goal.
The night went nicely and you were happy with relaxing activities we took on, I got us everything to paint, bake and have a movie marathon. Classic thing you did with your friend on a sleepover, conveniently so it was things you found the most. I won't say that one thing lent to another, no, trough the whole night I could see the pure joy radiating from your body and words, but yet I caught you staring sometimes with your mouth agape before it closed, you were restricting yourself to talk. But you wanted to talk, you wanted to talk to me because you knew that I know, you thought that no one waited so long to find pieces of you before.
We were listening to music from my barely used gramophone, songs from the golden days of old. We talked with a cup of camomile tea with honey added in, to make us relax before, sleep? If we were gonna sleep, at the time I didn't know. It started to feel like i was failing, I wasn't upset at all really, it wasn't a deadlined project or a task, just a goal I thought would be beneficial for both. But with my giving up for that night, that's when you broke.
I noticed how your breathing fastened just a little and you thought over your sentences much more, you wanted to get 'the' theme on board. You asked me if I'm really here, and I was confused but didn't say no. You asked if I am willing to listen and I answered positively so.
I asked my classic 'what's wrong?', you said that it was something unusual, that something wrong was going on. You said something is not letting you feel like yourself and that you felt exhausted restraining it, hiding it away so no one can even guess that you're going through something. You looked numb and your eyes were on the floor, you said you are scared of what might happen to you in your own Home. You looked at me like you were looking at a bedroom wall, like I was nothing that can judge and am a place you can be venerable. Your smile didn't budge from your face until you decided to finally let it fall, the symbol of you masking all the sadness and exhaustion up.
You let the loudest sob that was enough for me to feel the pain it radiated in a physical form, you started to cry more as your walls brick by brick crumbled. I sat besides you as the it continued on, we forgot to turn the lights on from the movie we watched before, only sounds I heard was tv static, soft music and your loud sobbs. Eventually you scooted closer, letting me touch you as your cries didn't stop, I embraced you the closest I could in a way it's comfortable. Your body shook, the moment you were close your loud sobbs became screams, not of fear, nor agony, just pure intensity of your own emotions that you didn't allow yourself to feel. But when you did, you did it like it's the first and the last time you'll get to do such a thing. Because of it all I cried on my own, I didn't expect it to feel so painful.
You sleept in my bed last night, looked into my eyes and I realized how different your gaze feels now, your eyes red and bloodshot. They felt distant, sad and tired, you felt so open in that moment.
I don't know from where to go now that it happened, I just hope it didn't see. "
-Felix
Hello lovely people💕💕💕
So here's this little thing I might start doing where we're able to take a little look at Felix's journal where he talks about some happenings in his life or his feelings. They will be randomly put in and probably won't follow any sort of order (´。＿。｀)
I hope you like it thought!!!I put as much effort as I could with my limited time
Love you lovelies 💕💕💕
April 14 2006 5/24/06
It's been over a year since we came out here.
Drawing creapy simbols gets old after about two days.
Which is why this took so long.
Phill says they "Have to be drawn with a genuine heart."
So long breaks have been common practice.
Also I have yet to see the animal sacrifice he keeps talking about.
To be honest I'm kind of starting to feal like Issac on the mountain.
But i've literally come to far to stop now.
If I die, at least I won't be cold.
March 20 2005 4/20/05
Tomorrow is it.
I "die" and then we head off to the air port..
Luckily they scarecly even ask for your name anymore.
So getting through will be no big deal.
we're going all the way to the middle of no where in Canada.
Cabin in the woods type deal.
We'll perform the cerimony, make a litlle sacrifice and then...
No soul.
March 15 2005 4/15/05
I haven't had much time to write the past couple weeks.
I've been busy y'know aranging my death and all.
It's strangly cathartic.
Watching my entire life all slowly fade away.
No.
It's not my life.
I get to decide my life from now on.
I need a new name.
February 30 2005 3/30/05
I think I want to do it.
I want to destroy my soul.
Immuntiy from demonics and curses does sound really cool.
My contact has let me know that this journey will take me quite far.
I would have to leave all family behind.
And because of how illegal this is, i'll basically have to fake my death.
He's told me to try limiting how much I wright online until we get going.
Fortunately this is a diary.
February 26 2005 3/26/05
So.
Some one from the occult contacted me over email.
They offered to help me destroy my eternal soul.
Not kill me mind you.
He was very specific.
This would mean that I would lack a soul.
I would be untouchable to every god and demon.
I would not go to any afterlife.
When I die, that would be it.
Like a dog, or a horse.
In a sense I would be something different from the average human.
February 23 2005 3/23/05
Reminder, consulting the occult is counter productive under most cercumstances.
Demons are no help what soever.
They all want my soul in exchange and i'm petty sure one was going to steel my will and posess my body.
So no horns and demonic wings.
February 20 2005 3/20/05
I tracked down a budist temple only a couple hours from here.
Maybey reincarnation is what i'm looking for.
I know I would have to wait until I die and I can't choose what I become but, it could give me some goals.
Good deeds and meditation right?
February 19 2005 3/19/05
It is my 17nth birthday and I have decided I no longer want to be human.
I do not want to die, so don't get all houghy with me.
I'm just tired of being human.
I want to be somthing else. Something that has never been before.
I'm not even sure what this would be yet, nor am I sure that I care.
I just don't want to be HUMAN.