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Lotf Jalph - Blog Posts

1 month ago

I actually want Jalph to hate eachother so bad, with the only reason they feel compelled by the other is bc they both have the sickest most accurate gaydar ever

It’s like single gay solidarity bc. We’re here. … .. . ..

Gay…. .. . ….. by ourselves n only u can understand me. Damn.

They can sniff out fellow fags like truffle pigs n unfortunately they found fruit

Not even like

“We have to get tg bc we don’t want to be alone”

but like

“Sigh” *beer clink* “Put ‘em there brother.”


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1 month ago

both Ralph n Jack being suppressors is so funny bc like. There are multiple elephants in the room guys cmon feed it a peanut or two

Esp if Ralph survives the stab and doesn’t get rescued bc like the elephant is ac a giant scar taking up ur lower stomach and they’ll still turn their heads off their shoulders before they address it straight. Mf u did this.?.

“So… have you finally been swayed by my awesome reasoning?”

“‘Reasoning’?”

and that’s as close as they get


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1 month ago

Role reversal au where everything is the same except Ralph was head of the choir n Jack was just that random kid lmfao

I honestly think they would’ve gotten off island at that first ship, and not bc all of the choir boys would’ve listened to him, but enough of them would yk

Ralph would walk up but instead of being all, “ok we had our aura moment, take off ur capes now” he’d have alr had them undressed so evb is just like oh. More kids. LMFAO

Would Jack be sm more of a brat bc no one’s listening to him? Ofc but yk. He’s just a guy atp

Edit: just realized that if everything was the same, Jack would still be chief. So um, that’s fucking changing too, bc Jack is NOT charismatic like that to have won without support, mf didn’t even win with support lmfao


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1 month ago

I’ve been laying on the jalph stance pretty thick so I feel the need to clarify that I am so chill abt shipping guys

Ik im a fake jalph truther ik but like i can also see them as friends or in other ships or whatever else like this blog is welcome to most all relationship n just individual interpretations of the boys alr im not strict im just very passionate abt my tweets lmfao

pls if u have thoughts or requests that differ from mine do share with the class, the class loves diversity n evbs opinions

NO LIKE INAPPROPRIATE THINGS THO

should be obvious but it’s the scary big bad world of the internet so pls don’t be creepy, they’re 12


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1 month ago

there r two wolves inside Ralph

Peter vs Jack

sucks that Ralph is a jackass4jackass domestic violence gay instead of a heartstopper, cheek kissing, family friendly gay

also sucks that I prolly wouldn’t be as interested in his character if he were


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1 month ago

modern jalph could find its own way into being an intense mess of emotions and social commentary naturally enough, but I kind’ve hate it

please don’t make my crash out yaoi google buzzfeed gay quizzes on their school mandated Chromebook

Ac I’ve changed my mind in one single sentence. Go onward disregard previous


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1 month ago

the beauty abt old age yaoi is the show don’t tellness due to necessity and i eat it right the fuck up

it’s like ptsd still being acknowledged and even respected in the 1980s, but they just called it shell shock yk

don’t give me explicit confessions where the characters know what they are and how they stand, give me the ambiguity and confusion and lack of words

Give me sputtering and absurdity and desperation bc all you can repeat to your counter part is

“I know I know- I know. It’s not right, but you’re some lost screeching part of my body and now that I’ve walked even one mile with you by my side, I can’t bear the vast amputation removing you from my life would be. Stay.”

Not your boyfriend or your lover just- something else. Something more and contagious and rotten. Something beating a new heart in behind your breast and echoing a liveliness in your laughter

GIVE ME BACK YEARNING GODDAMN IT GIVE ME BACK BLEEDING FOR LOVE GIVE ME BACK THE ROMANCE OF SOOTHING OUT JACKETS AND RUFFLING HAIR AND FEW AND FAR BETWEEN GLANCES U PRICKS- *pulled off stage by a long cane*


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1 month ago

Jack baiting Ralph like he’s a moody cat and Jack’s the spineless indulging owner bribing him with a piece of expensive salami is soooooo funny bc he’s making the most outrageous requests with the held back exasperation of someone who knows they’re right- WHEN HES NOT

“Cmon. cmon stop being a damn patron saint and join my tribe alr. yes we killed two of your friends- how long are u going to be upset abt that?”

What a dick. My least favorite gay republican. GTFO

—> will be writing Jack centered fics


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1 month ago

now that I’ve hard launched myself as a lord of the flies fanatic

how we feel abt American rewrite, pioneer, Oregon Trail au

Bc I feel strongly.

Donner Party

… Simon


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1 month ago

yall I rlly want to drop a fic abt Ralph’s introspection both during and after island bc there’s sm left to say and sm I can tweak and push and force into the forefront- most all, Ralph’s isolation

He’s friendly enough and probably has a history of being well liked. he can joke when he wants, and while he’s no genius, he’s no tool either

He’s had to have considered going buck wild just as the others did countless times

He’s had to have imagined it in dreams and mornings and meals spent picking at the flesh of fruit where the others tear apart pig with their teeth. Pig And Piggy

Because he sees a gleam in Jack’s eye that spells something knowing under all that wrath, and despite standing with Piggy he doesn’t even know his fucking name because he has that knack for social hierarchy and cruelty and he’d fit right in if he just allowed himself to

He had to have stared at the groups backs and know so so so intimately that he could saddle right on up and feel warm for the first time in a long time


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1 month ago

diversity win!!

The Worst Person You Know Is Gay!

-modern au where Merridew pulls the gay card to shield from attempts at cancellation

-Ralph both stands with the angry mobs and with his cancelled husband


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1 month ago

Scraping together enough coherence to over share abt my lotf au where Ralph finds a voice in either

A: a wise, serious older brother figure

or

B: a wise-cracking and numbskull peer

either way, both options are completely horrified at Ralph’s past and kind’ve beat chalance back into him

“Hm. That’s- not normal.”

or

“Ha! What The FuckTM.”

and it makes him like so angry because yeah. That wasn’t right, that wasn’t fair or justified or just ‘stir craziness’- that was fucking insane. and it wasn’t his fault. more than that, it was someone’s fault- it wasn’t a blameless, natural disaster or some sort’ve drunken mistake. it was cruel and it was unnecessary and it wasn’t his fault.


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1 month ago

rule 63 lotf is cool bc sm sm sm sm social commentary. like the original alr had something to say abt gender and how the boys were molded by the war and their older male role models and how those ppl are involved in that war, but the ‘going animial’ must be so different from a female perspective, both bc of time period but also just the way the way girls care for each other interpersonally

like the boys shove out mean names and throw fucking rocks at each other, and maybe it’s meaner than usual but it’s still in the realm of normalcy

but could you imagine the betrayal Ralph feels with a Jack she could hug and fuss about and lean into without feeling deeply guilty abt it? A Jack she could be softer with, and a group she thought she could trust to foster community and care for one another- all that softness just to be hit with the same inevitable level of cruelty as canon?

Gah. Crushing.


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1 month ago

point 5 of a like on this post and I’ll break down why jalph is sasunaru

also i take no critics abt this i am a pagan of truth. source: trust me bro


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1 month ago

the choir boys being the army and also madlads of the story is so funny bc like yeah band kids r chronic and yeah, ykw yeah, this checks out

doesn’t make it any less funny post island

“yeah those assholes hunted me down and tried to kill me”

“… those ones? doesn’t Merridew make passive aggressive comments to the teacher so he can tell on people without ac telling?”

“… yes. that’s- sigh- that’s yeah.”


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1 month ago

love the casualness of post island jalph bc the history is so loaded and it just sits on the tail end of every pause of every conversations, like an old timely chaperone making sure nothing unseemly is afoot as two suitors court, and it’s so easy too

yeah, Ralph’s breath hitches when Merridew moves too fast or too suddenly, and his eyes get kind’ve buzzy when they enter the mess hall and Jack’s loaned a knife to cut up his breakfast, but they throw back airy insults like none of it even happened

sure, Ralph’s tone seems slightly sharper than strictly warranted, and Jack’s responding smugness reads more sadistic than good natured, but they still talk

They still hang out and sit where the other does and walks where the other’s going, so they must be close.


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1 month ago

post island ralph ilyyyyyyyyyy bc he’s repressed as all hell and then some

nope don’t look at the shadows that

raise ur hackles from ur peripherals or those dreams of fiery, finicky orange and strokes of deep, dripping red

Also! Ur Homo!

For… for the guy ur desperately trying to pretend isn’t stalking your subconscious/neg

so much fear and pain and hatred and exhaustion and pessimism, yeah get this man a box to scream in and five thousand beers pls


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4 months ago

Hi Jalph community

Just finished LOTF for school

Uh

Jesus christ

I stand by it though if Jack wasn't such a coward they would've been okay. If they had just kissed or something it all could've been avoided.


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4 months ago

Just read Chapters 7-9 of LOTF. My boy Simon's death could've been prevented if Ralph ran after Jack and kissed him or smth like he so clearly wanted.

"I'm not going to play any longer. Not with you." This feels like a kindergarten breakup. Go get your mans or smth.


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5 years ago

Okay so like, imagine...

Jack and Ralph are fighting so Ralph coldly calls him 'Merridew', and all Jack's response is :

Jack : Jokes on you, that's what I originally wanted you to call me anyways!


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5 years ago

I Saw This And I Just Had To Make It Lotf

Roger, trying to flirt with Jack: So, what's a cutie like you doing with someone like him? *points at Ralph*

Jack : Shut up! I don't think he knows he can do better.


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5 years ago

They looked at each other, baffled in love and hate.

William Golding : *sweating* Hetrerosexually.


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5 years ago

Jack : Hey Ralph.

Ralph : Hey Jack - bloody hell is that a dead pig?

Jack : Yeah, I killed it for you.

Ralph : What are you? A cat?

Jack : Well no but if you're into that I'm willing -


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