Your gateway to endless inspiration
Loves - Blog Posts
Cubitum eamus?
I was surrounded by green landscapes. The leaves' and trees' color matched with my flowy skirt. My mustardish skirt danced with the breeze, a graceful waltz under the blinding light of my usual guest. This guest has always been there with me. Specifically every Sunday. And peculiarly its light gets stronger and brighter everytime that I appear in its presence. It's really strange. Perhaps, Zeus is content when seeing me, and his only way to contact me is by increasing the brightness of his Sun. Nonetheless, I'm thankful of it.
I could feel the warm breeze timidly touching my bare arms and uncovered shoulders. It was such a hair-raising feeling that it bizarrely made me slowly close my eyes while enjoying that docile embrace.
The crunch of grass under boots made my eyes slam open. That crunch of boots on dew-kissed ground resonates - a rythmic dance between man and nature. Each step, a whispered promise of connection, as if the meadow itself aknowledged his presence.
I turned around. There stopped a gigantic man. He was so majestic that I nearly stopped breathing. There was no oxygen enough for me. The nature was taking it from me.
Despite this, I continued looking at him. I didn't dare to say a thing. No voice could get out of my mouth.
I was so mesmerized by him that I didn't notice he was getting closer and closer to me. I was laying on top of the meadow. Undoubtedly, I was looking like a sloppy little girl and unashamedly I was staying there unmoving.
Surprisingly, he stretched his arm to me. Oh God. What did I think that he was going to do? That, I better not share with you.
"Aventurine. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you..."
I shockingly raised my head. How did he know my name? That I didn't know, nevertheless, I didn't really care. My name softly coming out his fleshy lips ignited a burning heat inside my heart and tiny body. I obviously zoned out and I didn't bother listening to what he was saying.
Light.
“He’s my muse, a beautiful man. So perfect. I can’t find any imperfections, superficially and internally. He was made, crafted from the Gods. They knew that a woman like me would fall for a man like him. They created him for me. Oh my god I look like an obsessed fan.”
I’m his partner in crime. Whenever he’s got a mission I’m there to help him. I can see him in action. Can you imagine how lucky am I?
I write and sing and talk about him.
I do so many things for him.
“You are infatuated with him.”
How do you know? The answer is No.
And I’m married to him.
I admire him. He inspires me. Brown, dark eyes. Dull eyes. Staring at me. Or more like glaring. He hates me.
I try to give him my light. He doesn’t wanna come in. I tell him: “turn your light on”. He doesn’t wanna love me.
He yells. Not at me. He doesn’t raise his voice to me. He knows. I’d bash his head on the wall.
He yells. To himself. Because he assumes it’s his fault. But the light isn’t on.
Come in. Turn the light on. They crafted you for me. Why can’t you understand it? Do you accept it?
You will always be tied to me. I won’t ever abandon you. How could I? I can’t even imagine it.
Let’s talk about it again. Now try to turn the light off. Can you come in?
Did you know there’s a way to leave me?
Oh you are so divine. I do adore you. I hate you. Je te déteste.
I cherish your rare smiles. Le sourire.
Excuse my French. Fuck it, no don’t. I studied it and turned myself purely French for you. I can’t make a mistake.
Would you want to forget me?
You are a puzzle. You don’t drink alcohol. No beers, no whiskey neat and no vodka. You cherish Russian poetry. You’d recite it to me every night, I’d listen to you till you’d fall asleep. I’d remove the book from your hands and lay you in the bed, covering you with a soft plaid. Watch your sleeping face until my eyes close to sleep. And dream about you and I.
And I say that I’m not in love with you. Ha, even I laugh with my stupid bullshit.
Demons took my kindness for weakness. Think about it. Were you a demon? Or was I a succubus?
You were the incubus and I the succubus. Yes, we torment each other at night, at the same time and moment. And I love it.
I shall tell you the truth: You took my kindness for weakness, used me like a rag doll and I loved it.
I used you too. Treated you as if you were my true love. I had no right. No right to force you to cherish me. And still, you did it. You took my kindness for weakness and I didn’t complain. Because you are my man.
You caress my face. You touch my plumpy lips while murmuring words in russian. Perhaps you are insulting me, but it doesn’t matter to me. I get to feel your calloused fingers. That arouses me. It makes me sick, I want to smash your head on the wall.
You are on a mission. I’m your accomplice. You interrogate the bastards and I shoot them in the head. No hesitation. I read your eyes and understand that I have to move.
Your light is on at that moment and I don’t say a thing. I don’t want to ruin that moment.
Come over and stay with me in the garden. Read me some Russian poetry and I will prepare some Medovik for you. You are allergic to honey.
It’s simple, I love you.
You touch my curves. You adore them. You are addicted to them. And I take care of you every night, you touch me. Your touches are soft. Your hands are cool, I shiver. Oh please come in.
It kinda makes me laugh. We love each other. We hate each other. We deteste each other. We honor each other. We are addicted to each other. But what are we?
We are married.