Mental Breakdown - Blog Posts

When this week started, I was full of hope and applying for jobs so I can start over after graduation.

Now it’s Thursday, and I’m finishing the one bottle of wine I own while I cry as I finish a 69 chapter fanfiction I’ve been reading because it’s OVER and WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MY LIFE NOW?

You ever stand there and watch everything fall apart and just think “ah yes, time to return to my roots” and restart an obsession from 10 years ago or are you normal

i reached out to someone and it didnt go well. Except in reality it really could’ve gone well. I didnt really give myself the space to be rejected- so now here i am back on my own.

It’s like i whispered to someone in a windy tunnel and hoped they heard me.

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I hate it when the punishment your mum gives you for your room being a mess is you cant leave the house until its clean. I cant stand being in this house and not going on a ride somewhere. It just becomes a loop. Wake up, go to school, come home, sleep, and repeat. I need to go somewhere or ill go insane. But no. I cant. Until that one thing gets done. I hate it. I hate it i hate it i fucking hate it. Until eventually i have a mental breakdown and become destructive and start hitting things or physically hurting yourself. It feels like your whole body is burning hot. And the only thing that will help is inflicting pain on yourself or it will only get worse. After its over your just numb.. you feel nothing. No emotions, or feeling in your body. You could cut yourself and not feel a single thing.

I’m a sad potato sack, mmmh, it’s this time of year, life.

“I go into my sweater until it gets better”

I'm scared, and I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I see a famished purple rabbit with pink overalls and scurvy eyes everywhere on the Internet, and I'm scared. Send help. I'm going to choke on a hot dog.