Mental Conditioning - Blog Posts

i like the idea of permanent edging/chastity but only to a certain extent. Like if you had me convinced that if i came in this moment (while im right on the edge) that it would be my last orgasm ever.. all the while not taking the vibrator off of my clit. i would cum like crazy thinking it was my last ever. But then i feel like denial would eventually get kind of old. So i think its even hotter if instead of permanent denial you deny me orgasms but dont say for how long. Instead you allow me to beg for one whenever i get needy but each time i do beg you have me do something embarrassing in order to prove how badly i want to cum. Use my desperation against me and break me.

maybe you start off with something too hard for me on purpose. its first thing in the morning and i woke up feeling so wet and horny and got even hornier as i took care of your morning wood like i do every morning- with a sloppy blowjob. im still laying between your legs on my side with my head resting on top of your upper thigh. squirming, i look up at you with pleading eyes, "Sir, can i please cum this morning please Sir im feeling so so desperate this morning", i cant keep the whine out of my voice as i asked. it's been a week since you've allowed me to cum and ive gotten so desperate. You smirk down at me and you shift the leg im not resting my head on so that its between my legs pressed up against my wet pussy. Gasping, i cant help but grind a little bit into it. "You want to cum, slut?" still grinding, i barely manage to gasp out a "yes... please Sir". "then press your lips around my cock and drink my piss." i had already lifted my head and started to move it back to your cock when i heard the second part of that sentence. i froze, you had never asked me to do something like that before and you know ive never done anything to do with piss or golden showers or whatever before. i look up at you trying to see if you mean it, "Sir?" You're still looking calmly down at me. "No? then i got to get up and you wont get to keep humping my leg until you cum. and who knows when ill be feeling benevolent enough to let you cum again." i realized then that i had never stopped grinding my needy cunt into your leg and still am even now. i can feel my orgasm already starting to build but i know that you mean it. if im going to cum this morning i have to drink your piss right now. i start to think about it, could i even do it if i tried? what if i spilled it and then in the end i still wouldnt be allowed to cum? what if-

my thoughts get interrupted as you pull your leg away from me and shove me off you as you get up "too late" you say, not sounding annoyed at all as though you never expected me to do it in the first place. you walk into the bathroom but leave the door open so i hear it clearly when your stream hits the water. i blush as i think about how i was seriously considering letting you piss in my mouth and swallow it.

fast forward to later that night and your using my pussy with me bent over the couch. As you get close you grab a fistful of my hair and use it to pull my head back untli your lips are lined up with my ear. "you still wanna cum, babygirl?" i nod as much as your grip allows me to and gasp "yes pleaseee". your thrusts slow a little as you keep talking to me "then youre gonna do something for me, slut". i nod not even thinking about how just this morning you asked me to do something i didnt want to do. " you know how i love cumming in your pussy, right?" i keep nodding though im only half listening as i grind my ass harder into you since you stopped thrusting for the moment. "but i also love having you swallow my cum." you reach down between my legs and start rubbing little circles expertly around my clit. i moan loudly and grind harder into you, my tongue hanging out. "so this time i want the best of both worlds. im going to cum inside this little pussy here and then youre going to get on your knees, legs spread, and scoop my cum out of your pussy and into your mouth. then youre gonna show me your mouth full of my cum and swallow like a good girl. understand?" you pull your finger off my clit and i cry out. "yes sir yes please and then i can cum?" "maybe. if you do a good job and i feel like it." was all you said but it was enough for me and i keep nodding my head like an idiot "yes sir!" you resume fucking me harder and faster this time." what a good. little. cunt!" you thrust hard with each word and i feel you cum on the final thrust. you groan into my shoulder and after a moment you pull out with a satisfied sigh. You flop back onto the couch then lean forward to grab your game controller. with your other hand you give my ass a smack since im still kneeling on the couch next to you. "get to it cunt, you know what to do." with that i quickly get on my knees, desperate for release. i spread my knees out so my pussy is facing you and i reach down and start to scoop the cum that had already dripped down my thigh. i lick it off my hand and continue to scoop cum out of my pussy. occasionally i glance up at you but most of the time your not even looking as youre booting up the playstation and starting a game. after getting as much cum as i think i can get i stop scooping and hold my mouth open to let you see your cum. only the game you were queued for just started and once again youre not paying any attention to me. I have to kneel there on my knees and wait for what feels like forever for you to finally look at me.

my cheeks burn as i finally have a moment to think about what im doing. this was something else that you had never had me do before. but it was fresh on my mind how quickly you changed your mind about letting me cum just that morning when i hesitated so i was not going to make the same mistake twice. besides, this was new but its not like ive never swallowed your cum before so its not totally new. finally your game is finished and you glance down at me and smile seeing my mouth open, waiting for you. "swallow." i swallow gratefully and show you my empty mouth like you have trained me to. "Good pet" you pet my head with one hand and start another game with the other. "thank you sir" i lean into your hand and look up at you hopefully, "please sir, can i please cum now" you look down at me and say " not this time, but you can clean my cock as a reward, cunt" i try not to look too disappointed as i lean in and lovingly lick your cock and balls until youre satisfied.

this happens a few more times in the next couple of days. i stopped asking you to cum when i realized whenever i did you would just have me do something new and humiliating and then still not let me cum. but then you would just ask me if i wanted to cum and since i cant lie to you the same thing would still happen. one night, we're showering together when you offer to "clean" my pussy. of course i say yes and soon youre pressed up behind me with one arm wrapped around my front rubbing soap into my tits and the other gently playing with my clit. i moan and lean my head back onto your shoulder as you roll and pinch my nipples. you slip a finger lower and plunge it into my cunt and pump it a few times, adding another finger every couple of thrusts. when you hav e three fingers in me you stop pumpping and start to grind your palm into my clit as your fingers curl upward into my g spot. my hips squirm as you bring me closer and closer to the edge like this. "please" i gasp out. "please what, babygirl? use your words" you growl into my ear. i moan harder "please sir, please can i cum" i force out as your fingers pull out and start circling my clit faster. my body jerks and i feel myself just starting to slip over the edge. thats when you pull your hands away and spin me around facing you. your now between me and the shower head, with the water hitting you in the back. "kneel." you tell me and i drop down hard not even feeling the pain in my knees. im still so close you left me right on the very edge, i swear a strong breeze would be able to get me off at this point. "you can start to rub yourself the second my piss hits you, but you have to stop the second i finish- youre allowed to cum but only if youre able to before i finish. understand?" i nod with my hand hovering just inches over my pussy, "yes sir." i dont even think about, ive learned that you dont give me any time to hesitate and i need to cum im so fucking close. with that you aim your cock at me and i feel the warm spray of piss hit me in the chest. for a moment im shocked that its actually happening but i quickly recover as i remember that this is my only chance to cum. i start rubbing furiously at my cunt and my other hand reaches up to rub my now piss covered tits. i moan hard right as you aim your stream up and hit me in the face. i splutter and shut my mouth quickly but you say "open your mouth" and my mouth drops back open. i gag as your piss hits my throat but i keep my mouth open and keep rubbing my clit. i feel myself getting closer and closer and as my orgasm starts to crest i feel your spray hitting me in my now closed eyes and then in my hair. all i can taste and smell is your piss - and thats when i finally cum. i see stars as i cry out and your piss hits my mouth again turning my cries into gargles. i dont even notice that your stream has turned into dribbles and stops until i finally come to slouched over myself still on my knees breathing heavily. you give me a moment to collect myself before saying "well?" i snap my head up and say "thank you sir" and you can see the sincere gratitude in my eyes as i look up at you even as your piss drips off my chin. "good girl, now clean my dick off and give it a little thank you kiss". i lean forward and lick it clean of the now very familiar taste of piss before giving it a little kiss on the tip. you turn around and rinse the rest of the soap suds off your body before stepping out of the shower. "you can finish up on your own, cunt".

I slowly stand up, noticing the pain in my knees for the first time, "thank you, Sir". i reach for the soap again and clean myself off for the second time in this shower. my mind starts to clear and i think about what i just did. i blush as i think about how desperate i was, how i didnt even hesitate for a second and just let you piss on me. its so embarrassing ive never done something like this before. ive seen it a couple times in porn but didnt really like it. up until recently when you had asked me to swallow your piss i had never thought of doing something like that myself before. even as my face burns though as i think about how humiliating that was my pussy starts to get wet again, too. and i know, that the next time you tell me to swallow your piss, i wont hesitate. i also know, that you know this too.

Yesterday I acted on this and text the person in question. I apologised for my behaviour and then immediately felt dumb and subby. She replied pretty quickly and we had a nice chat by text.

Now I’m lying at home all hot and horny and thinking about going to her flat and being gently, tenderly told to strip on arrival. My grown up clothes would be locked away out of my reach and my phone would be kept by her, ready to be looked through at her leisure during my stay. I’d be completely trapped and powerless and totally at her mercy and I’d love it.

So several months ago I went on a date. She was nice and she was demanding and she had big boobs and I could tell she’d have been softly nurturing and gently demanding in a relationship. She was even a nanny!

For reasons I won’t go into she wound up making comments I felt were a little too personal for someone I’d only met once and we haven’t spoken since. There was no big argument or anything, and she actually messaged me a week or so after but I (I think maybe foolishly) ignored her.

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been thinking about her more and more and I kind of want to send her a really simpy, subby message telling her about how I want to be her good, obedient boy (she already had a sense of my nature before we even met). There’s just something so hot about the idea of apologising even though I don’t think I was in the wrong and asking her to allow me to make it up to her with chastity time and foot worship and… and just letting her run my life, basically.

Just typing this out has made me really keen to message her. If anyones wants to give me their thoughts in an inbox it would be appreciated.

My boss let me leave half an hour early today. On the way home I was fantasising about her telling me I’d be allowed to leave early in exchange for a good boy worship puddle dedicated to her when I got home, and now I kind of want to act on that…

‘Baby, I can see you’re still worried about all this so let me explain again. Of course I don’t mind, that’s what mummies are for. And I know you find thinking around me so hard.

So, I know a man sucking a cock would usually be thought of as “gay.” I know you know there’s nothing wrong with being gay, shush now. Mummy knows. Mummy knows you identify as a straight boy. And mummy knows that you’re worried sucking a cock interferes with that.

But sweetie… it’s MUMMY’S cock. There can’t be anything gay about having sex with a mummy, can there? You see? And even if there was, you love mummy so much that it just wouldn’t matter, isn’t that right? Of course it is! Now why don’t you kneel down and show me what an obedient, well-behaved, mummy-loving cocksucker you can be?’

Being hypnotised so that when your owner fastens your collar around your neck you become completely blank and mindless and unable to resist a single command or suggestion. Then being hypnotised to resist collaring… but also unable to move.

Imagine the desperation you would feel to keep the collar away but being powerless to even turn your head.

Just to be clear, I really liked the idea of being taken under by a hot hypnodomme that I completely trust and being convinced that what I want more than anything in life is to serve an ordinary-looking woman that the hypnodomme has sold me to. Of course it wouldn’t be presented as “selling” to me, it would be the chance to live my dream by serving this ordinary woman I inexplicably adore.

Fantasy idea: dress me up in a onesie or a little sailor suit. Cuff my wrists together and my ankles together and then cuff those sets of cuffs together. Put a gag in my mouth. Leave me to awkwardly crawl around on the floor all weekend. Tell me I have to do my best to always be in your view and then, of course, find lots of reasons to keep moving around the house. When you do settle somewhere make it somewhere awkward for me to sit. Go for long stretches of barely acknowledging me and then occasionally overload me with praise and maybe some touching.

Watch me become yours.