Mourning - Blog Posts

Not An Update

I don't think I'm going to be updating Demigods of Valyria any time soon.

Yesterday, April 23rd, I had to put my cat, Xena, down because she was suffering from absent seizures and if I had brought her home she would have died in pain and I couldn't do that to my baby. I miss her.

When she was 6 months old we rescued her because she had severe wobbly cat syndrome so she couldn't walk. My parents let me keep her even though we were originally going to give her to a kennel that could take of her.

For 2 years she has been my baby, my princess, my pretty girl, my everything and now shes gone. Ive been suicidal for years and for the past 2 shes been one of the few things I lived for.

I'm tired. I can barely think of her name without sobbing, i cant look at my other cats without just collapsing because I miss her so much.

I miss how when I talked she'd respond. I dont have any recordings of her voice.

I couldnt sleep in my own bed last night because she always slept with me and I cant stand being in my room because it hurts so much.

I'm sorry.

grief ramble

I think about her and how she felt before she decided to die and I can only run around in circles until I am dizzy with it when I think about how she replied to me before ending it. Why didn't she say anything? Why didn't she put me on the phone? I would've answered. I would've picked up on the second ring as I always do.

I feel like less of a person without her. She was my family. She was closer to me than my own sister. We vowed to get out of our family together. We were going to grow old together. Sending TikToks back and forth captioned "us in 50 years" and sharing half-made plans of travel.

Our last sleepover she laughed so hard I thought she were going to pee herself. We shared a bed like we were little again and I woke up with her elbows in my spine as she always ended up.

I think about how she didn't want to bother me with her decision. I wish she did. I grieve her and I want the time we could've had. I would take her resentment and hate if it meant she was here and not dead.

Some days are harder than others.

Returning to our Roots follows Debbie after the death of her girlfriend, Slackjaw, one of the most infamous mercs in New Bright City. Debbie has to deal with her grief while the world around her becomes more and more hostile and chaotic.

Remember, in a cyberpunk world, there are no happy endings. Though, that doesn't mean the endings aren't cathartic.

Reading things like this always takes me back to when Ludwig said, "I think it's a constant war when someone dies, to keep them as much as you can in your life, and you can't because you lose to time, every time." (timestamp is 23:49 onwards)

The way it hits every time will always be that strong, I think.

“I miss you more than I remember you” is always the core of grieving a parent who died when you were a kid

Skephalo Week Day 4: Immortality

TW// death

Sooo I kinda did a sad one here...since Bad is a demon he's immortal, but sadly Skeppy and Sapnap are just human, so he had to go through losing both of them and all of his friends :(

I just felt like drawing something sad today, sorry about that heh

also, just a few headcanons:

-Bad's horns change colors based on his mood; purple means loneliness and mourning

-Skeppy's favorite flower is a daisy, so Bad brings them to him and Sapnap's graves every week

Anyways, please enjoy the art. Love you all <3

hello mandela catalogue nation i have made you some food (art)

eat up! 😋

*A last goodbye*

If Chara was by Frisk’s side but Asriel couldn’t make it out of the underground. (I know that there are enough AU’s out there with this or an similar prompt but I can’t help wanting to make one too, maybe in the future *shrugs*) Anyway I know the anatomy is off but I’ll hope that doesn’t bother you peeps too much.