Mystique - Blog Posts

Happy Hare, where have you buried all your children? Tell me so I say

You can't keep them all safe. They will die and be afraid.

Mother, tell me so I say

Dark Phoenix Review: Pros & Cons

Cons

- Scott is still Jean’s play toy

-He never stops trying to fix her. I mean, it’s cute but I need some character development. Li,e does he do anything other than scream, “JEAAAANNNN!”

- He was ten times better in the fucking comics. I swear.

-My soft wife, Jubilee, is completely gone. She is neither mentioned or shown. Hate that so much.

-Jean already had the Dark Phoenix power in Apopcalupse, but she gets it again??? Sure, whatever, gets you money, Fox. You literally forgot a movie that YOU made.

-Timeline is messed up all over again. How old is Jean? Nobody knows, at least she’s older than eight.

-The evil aliens were just in the way for the whole movie, were originally supposed to be the Skrulls, and they had less screen time in the comics. The first time they are introduced, the die. There is literally no need for them.

-Also, they had no background and they were only there for train scene. Literally, no point to them for the majority of the film.

-Same thing with Storm. Up until the train scene, there was no point for her character.

-Quicksilver, best character, is injured so badly that he is no longer seen in the movie until the final scene.

-Magnet goes through the same character arc as he did before. Lives on an island, decides to fight against the X-Men, gets captured by some intelliagance group, helps the X-Men out in the end. I swear, even Michael Fassbended is getting tired of this shit.

-He still doesn’t know that Peter is his son. What the actual fuck???

-Nightcrawler, well-known pacifist and Catholic, goes on a killing spree after seeing someone die. This plot-point makes no sense because real fans know he wouldn’t do this without at least praying before and after the battle.

-Jean dies and comes back as the Phoenix Force??? I honestly don’t know at this point.

- None of the actors wanted to do this movie. Sophie Turner just wanted to leave the franchise all together along with Jennifer Lawrence, Fassbender, and James McAvoy. Everyone is bored and over the whole storyline.

-Also, what the fuck was this line??? Mystique says to Charles, “The women in this group do more than the women. Maybe we should be called the X-Women. You ever think of that?”

-I’m all for female empowerment, but no one gives a shit. It’s already a gender-neutral term. I swear, Jennifer Lawrence just wanted to seem “woke” for no reason.

-They also named the school after Jean rather than Mystique. She was the women who inspired all the mutant students to be themselves, but I guess that doesn’t matter anymore. Fuck this shit.

Pros

-The visuals were okay, not the best for a Fox movie. But they brought some color to a pretty bland movie.

-Depicting Charles as a villain who manipulated all his students rather than trying to fix them is a really good choice.

-I liked this part of the movie because it showed a different side of Charles. The one side that makes mistakes, realizes this, and tries his best to fix it. The truth bombs from Mystique and Hank really sold the fact that Charles had been in the wrong for years.

-The breakdown from Hank/Beast was very cool. He cares for his sort-of-girlfriend of many years. But I hated how he quickly changed from sides. He flip-flopped more than Black Widow in Civil War.

-The bromance between Charles and Erik is still going strong. The only good thing that lasted through the whole movie. They love each other.

Okay but I’m gonna be real here Charles having a family reunion would be so chaotic cause you would have Juggernaut, Casandra, Raven, and P. Xavier all in the same room with him. You can literally smell the drama that would unfold. Or it could totally be super chill. Idk, I might draw this later, but I honestly think it would be super fun to think more about.

R.I.P. Peter Maximoff and Mystique you guys would have loved Chappell Roan

Completely random headcanons that make no sense and are completely out of character for (movie) X-Men characters :

(If it's just the character then it's probably from the old timeline, aka the first movie, X2, The Last Stand, all that jazz.)

First Class Proffesor X - Once got so drunk that he made out with his reflection, yes he used the mutant pick up line on himself, he couldn't read anyone's mind for a week because all anyone could think about was that

First Class/During Days Of Future Past Magneto - Decked the shit out of a human kid once because they talked some shit and he doesn't feel bad about it to this day

Post Days Of Future Past Iceman - He naturally gets compared to Elsa after the movie comes out, it haunts him because one of the kids convinced him to dress up as her for halloween.

X2 Rogue - Because of her mutation and what happened in the first movie, she gets really bad anxiety about not wearing gloves, she can't even stay in the same room as someone with them off

Storm - Sometimes her hair gets all static when she's thinking about things and if you touch her when she's mad you'll get a shock, the kids like to rub balloons on her hair and stick them to walls when it happens.

Wolverine - Prefers crunchy food, whenever he eats anything soft he cringes and instinctively spits it out, may or may not have spat in someone's face, scott but that was probably on purpose, once or twice or three times.

First Class Mystique - Sometimes she turns into people she doesn't like and mockingly impersonates them in the mirror, she also uses it to practice her acting but overall it's just to make them look dumb

X2 Pyro - He has a staring problem, you can't call him out on it either because he just acts like he has no fucking clue what you're talking about

First Class Beast - He tried to shave his facial hair off after his serum backfired and had to wear a cone on his head for about a week

Apocalypse Jean Grey - When she's bored she'll grab a random object and just spin it around with her mutation, sometimes people have walked in unexpectedly and got hit in the face by a book or cup

Cyclops - Bites into celery fucking raw he doesn't even wash that shit

Days Of Future Past Quicksilver - He forgets that sometimes he shouldn't use his mutation in front of others, but he's usually so fast nobody notices besides the sudden gust of wind

misc x

Nominating Scott Summers as the most Weezer character

I've always found it funny how official sources always refer to Mystique as Kurt's mother. Like- that's not how gender works but I'm not a shapeshifter so what do I know.

Anyways I think she's terrible and I love her.

Tfw you throw your ugly ass blue baby off a bridge and he shows up again later a lil bigger

What X Men Autism does to a motherfucker.

This started as just a joke and then I had to find shitty doodles to draw everyone as.

Also I know no one knows the character in the right hand corner, say hi to my oc Haunter/Serenity everyone :3!!! OC X CANON STRIKES AGAIN.