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“i’m a vampire and we met when you were still human and we fell in love and planned out our whole eternal life together but on the night i turned you i freaked out over the commitment and abandoned you in the middle of the night & now it’s over a century later and we’re only just seeing each other again for the first time since and there’s so much hatred in your eyes when you look at me but fuck you still look just as hot and make my heart race as much as you did back then and i think i made the biggest mistake of my life in leaving” au (☉‿☉✿)
A trope that gets to me: 'guard dog' character and their partner who are both fully aware of it and honestly don't care/kind of like it. Someone says "call your guard dog off" and their partner does call them off. That person, their 'guard dog', is someone who is unreservedly, irrefutably loyal to them. Someone undoubtedly dangerous who is willing to kill, to maim, to obey, simply because of their love for one another. There's no manipulation involved— it is loyalty, brutal, dogged loyalty. And it goes both ways.
“we are soulmates and when you die, i die, except i don’t know who you are apart from the fact that you just live a very dangerous life because you’ve technically died three times now and gosh i wish you would stop dying it’s very inconvenient. last year i was in this HUGE job interview and what do i do but keel over –”
where one person is actually famous and sets up a dating account with their real picture and the other sees it and is like, oh dude you are not fooling anyone with that picture (because srsly trying to catfish someone with a really famous person is hilarious and cute because the profile also had some really dorky info about liking model trains and farmers’ markets) cue an online romance and when they actually meet the other is pissed because DUDE YOU’RE THAT FAMOUS PERSON and the other is like, yeah, i mean, i thought you knew…
getting all hot and heavy with him in a corner booth at the club or on the couch at a house party, and he’s trying to convince you to cockwarm him right there. he’s got his hand on the back of yours, pressing your palm into his crotch to show you how hard you’ve made him, all the while talking all low in your ear. “need to feel you so bad. i can’t wait. just sit on it, baby. come on, nobody will notice.”