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july 12, 2024—10 years and forever
you're making dinner, i'm sat on the counter
with my quiet music playing on the speaker
wet hair sticking to my neck and i'm talking about my day
you wait for me to finish and i'll wait for you to say
little quips and jokes with a quiet smile
i stare while you laugh for a little while
the hot pot steams and i get the plates
you plate the food and i sit and wait
sprinkling soda fizz and dim-lit rooms
our stained couch with bass-powered booms
really shitty movie, the bright tv display
i laugh as you squint your eyes in dismay
you fall asleep and i wash the dishes
ten years ago, dreams were only wishes
ten years from now, we'll earn riches
right now, we heal from our stitches
the house is small and the table is too
my heart feels home, right here with you
i'll tell you a secret, just between us two
for the rest of my life, i'll keep loving you
— reddestofscarves, 2:30am
april 20, 2024 — secret garden language
im in the hospital in a waiting room
my thighs are sweating, the air hot and stuffy
its too early in the morning to feel like noon
thoughts of you are the only thing keeping me steady
my music flows smokey, the album's nice
messy poetry, paradox hearts & minds
weeds on my back, sick of putting you first
its ok to love him more, my heart's seen worse
i hope the 6 year old garden was fun
the fruits of your seed and spring has begun
so for the first time in forever
abatinas and cyclamens bloom in my weather
and when winter comes, what will you do?
will another bloodthirsty creature welcome you too?
will you drain them of life and trick them like a fool?
goodluck on the run, my laugh's one haunting ghoul
— reddestofscarves, 11:00 pm.
april 6, 2024 — situationship
are we still friends?
were we more?
when all that's begun has come an end
will everything be back to the way it was before?
and my soul hates everything about you
doesn't mean my heart can't miss you
so when you're gone and i'm through
i'll pretend to move on too
oh, brought to a stop and then what?
i'm faced with a paradoxical thought
childhood memories are soulful wealth
how do i tune silence out with itself?
but i knew it then, it was our last day
see it in your eyes, "sorry it had to end today"
i shake my head, smile wide and say
"it's okay, no hard feelings anyway"
despite everything back then
when i pick up my paper and pen
my mind drifts to you, sweetest bullet bitten
and i'll write the messages i can't send
— reddestofscarves, 1:20pm
april 1, 2024 — luna
oh, luna, tell me so
do you love me enough to let me go?
if you're the moon and i'm the sun
don't you think i'm better off alone?
oh, luna, i'm not the only star you'll find
rigil's brighter and toliman's one of a kind
being good is different from perfect
don't settle, consider every aspect
when i said you were the best thing to happen to me
i actually meant that only you ever stole my need to be free
oh, luna, i hope you'll understand
that going with you is to forget me
but being me won't stop my heart
from knowing we were written in the stars
and how i loved you from the start
always and forever, from here and afar
— reddestofscarves, 4:05 pm
march 29, 2024 — not enough
the shower i took tonight was cold
thought of the words you said the other day
the way you said it still makes me fold
you felt what i did, had no more to say
i don't like thinking about it much
easily makes me cry and such
i know the years are good enough
but you know you can't blame me for not acting tough
and i'd like to teach this one day
making the most of something means
you'll never get enough of it
so bittersweet feeling this way
you're always gonna miss every little bit
and i hope that in another reality
we'd never have to live through calamity
palms could breathe without fatality
and you'd smile without the distance i see
— reddestofscarves, 11:46pm
and even if i was a cloud
if it meant i'd be the only thing you'd ever touch.
-reddestofscarves, 5:35pm on december 23, 2023