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Polyamory - Blog Posts
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Revised with the addition of BDSMLR
This is a great list and so very true. You find a lot of this toxicity in Dd/lg and D/s relationships too. It is so important to establish a healthy relationship no matter what relationship type you are in. It is important that your partner is always respectful of you, your needs, your boundaries, your goals in life and that they always support your personal growth. If your partner doesn’t do this for you then you need to rethink your relationship. If you can’t do this for your partner then you need to work on your own issues and trauma first. There’s nothing cool, sexy or romantic about toxic habits. Build good relationships, respect yourself and your partner. Always!
What I mean when I say "toxic monogamy culture"
the normalization of jealousy as an indicator of love
the idea that a sufficiently intense love is enough to overcome any practical incompatibilities
the idea that you should meet your partner’s every need, and if you don’t, either you’re inadequate or they’re too needy
the idea that a sufficiently intense love should cause you to cease to be attracted to anyone else
the idea that commitment is synonymous with exclusivity
the idea that marriage and children are the only valid teleological justifications for being committed to a relationship
the idea that your insecurities are always your partner’s responsibility to tip-toe around and never your responsibility to work on
the idea that your value to a partner is directly proportional to the amount of time and energy they spend on you, and it is in zero-sum competition with everything else they value in life
the idea that being of value to a partner should always make up a large chunk of how you value yourself
