Psielapki - Blog Posts

"im not crying! respect your elders!!" / utahime @ gojo

‘ it’s never fun to clean up after someone else’s party y’know, so i’d say we’re even! ’ he would’ve most definitely made another remark - probably something, anything to do with the leaves and branches stuck to her carefully-maintained hair but doesn’t. let her figure it out herself. he’s been nice enough already for coming here, at this hour, on what’s supposed to be his day off.

either way he doesn’t let her finish the flood of curse words that are probably most likely building up in her mind and instead redirects everyone’s (utahime-chan and ijichi’s) attention towards the elephant in the room — the first-grade curse in the building, more like.

satoru claps twice, ‘ okay, okay, i need you all with me now, let’s not ruin the moment. this is supposed to be an alumni reunion, and you… ’ two eyes on a set of 12-somethings, spiderish, nothing he’s ever seen before but hardly anything to write home about. satoru’s smile drives up the blindfold, adding to the symmetry of a face that’s obviously mocking and nothing close to sympathetic, ‘ i recommend you start counting your legs. ’

red light.

a vortex.

this ought to show them — the curses and whoever’s messed up his schedule for the next few days, that this is no mere game for him, however much they’re trying to make it seem so.

@psielapki

‘ no particular reason, just curiosity. ’

on the unlikely scenario that she might’ve been afraid of something, maybe the conversation could’ve led them elsewhere, a place emptied of walls and labyrinths. that was a possibility that the childish part of him wanted to test, a dive into uncharted territory, though the rewards were little in comparison to what had been stirred now, as her soul burned with curiosity and he wondered if it was born from the same star as his. two specks of the same stardust, finally facing each other in the expanse of nothingness.

satoru muses for a moment, voice rumbling in his throat as he leans back in thought. perhaps he ought to give an honest answer. a truth for a truth. ‘ never thought about it, actually. ever watched Shutter? pretty scary if you ask me. i couldn’t sleep that night. ’

not a lie.

nightmares carved out of memories, the unholy mixture of reality and the imaginary specters born from night’s belly, their unchanging shapes stalking about satoru’s dark room. the ache in the back of his eyelids remained until dawn, most nights. others, he simply let the mud engulf him, falling into quicksand, and it felt more comforting than to fight it, because its weight and density was familiar by now. seeing it reflected in a film caught him by surprise — though the graphics were nothing to write home about, the idea of death and regret and all the ugly things clawing their way into the very soul frightened him. more than strange panic, anger seeped through the cracks, the carefully maintained mask of imperturbable capacity.

that is how the head of a clan should be.

well, if suguru ever came back to haunt him, wouldn’t that be petty? it’s a hard scenario to conjure, but the idea amuses him briefly. satoru sips idly at his drink, suddenly too aware of his own surroundings. propping his head up on a fist, elbow atop his knee, he takes notice of her change in positions, now closer, side by side. 

‘ hm. you’ve never been curious about me, though. what made you change your mind? want to be besties? i’m sure that would give the old farts real fright. no need to ask them. ’

@einshi's   gojo   satoru   &   the   fate

                    𝘯𝘰𝘵   𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥   𝘰𝘧   𝘵𝘩𝘦   𝘧𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦   𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘰   𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵   𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘥   getting   rid   of   all   the   humans   &   sorcerers   who   fought   against   him,   not   afraid   of   the   greatest   curse   user   since   gods   only   know   when.   not   afraid   of   the   strongest   sorcerer   by   her   side,   not   afraid   of   the   old   small   -   minded   people   who   stand   behind   the   whole   grand   scheme   of   jujutsu   society   things.

                    like   she's   playing   a   game   of   her   own   ;   like   all   this   doesn't   revolve   around   her,   too.   like   her   life   is   not   on   the   line,   like   she's   not   literally   in   the   middle   of   it   all   —   an   upcoming   war   that   threatens   her   in   her   restless   dreams.   puzzle   pieces   she   cannot   yet   fully   put   together,   so   she   doesn't   say   much   about   what   she   sees.

                    neither   can   she   see   the   smile   gojo   so   generously   offers.

                    sadly.

                    she   would   really   like   to.

                    ❝   oh,   i   can   pay   you,   ❞   unmei   muses,   getting   up   from   her   spot   beside   him   ;   looking   at   all   the   snacks   in   the   vending   machine.   all   the   lights   blocked   by   the   blindfold,   all   the   shades   blocked   by   color   blindness.   in   a   way,   they   both   see   too   much   and   not   enough.   ❝   sweet   treat?   ❞

                    that   usually   works,   stimulates   the   brain   —   sugar   turns   into   energy   their   brain   consumes   in   milliseconds   ;   fuels   the   endless   amount   of   information   processed.   besides,   satoru   has   a   sweet   tooth,   and   more   than   likely   won't   see   her   spitting   onto   said   free little   gift.

                    pun   intended.   height,   prosopagnosia,   blindfold.   depth   of   what   he   says,   so   many   levels   of   it.   seemingly,   every   conversation   they   have   means   something   else   ;   subtext,   context,   all   of   it   combined   to   create   a   different   meaning.   as   she   sits   back   beside   satoru,   mei   wonders   :   is   the   infinity   of   his   shielding   him   from   the   outside   world,   or   shielding   the   outside   world   from   him?   won't   ask   out   loud.   will   find   out   herself.

                    ❝   now   i   want   to   know   what   are   you   afraid   of,   senpai.   ❞

                    she   assumes   there   is   something.   there   must   be.

                    ❝   and   why   did   you   ask   me   about   that   in   the   first   place.   ❞

satoru could decide to ignore the sarcasm in her voice, but something about ending the exchange that way felt more pleasing — to his ego anyways.

‘ these don’t come for free, you know? ’ to emphasize his words, a finger flies up to his forehead, tapping the surface twice.

what curse had befallen them, satoru wasn’t sure of. but it’s unequivocal that something in the air shifted since that time, when twos changed into ones and the empty space by his side bared its fangs right at him like a cheshire smile. the memory of it haunted him, the lashing out, the refusal to admit that there was nothing he could’ve done to prevent it, that even if she’d spoken the words before everything came crumbling down his hands alone wouldn’t be enough to sustain the damage: suguru’s back, swallowed by the crowd, lost among the dark shapes and beyond where satoru could reach.

since that time…

and maybe before that, too, because he’s never known how to handle her. 

he could hear the engines working inside the vending machine. through the blindfold, there’s hardly anything that he can see but he imagines what it’d be like: fluorescent lights snaking around their shapes, eyes that gaze straight at him as they’d always done, unafraid, unyielding. that is strength, too. his thumb presses lightly at the rim of his soda can, traces along the rim,  ‘ sorry, sorry. i didn’t mean anything bad by it. just a thought. we haven’t always met eye to eye — no pun intended, so it’s hard to tell what’s exactly going through that mind of yours.’

he follows up with a lighter tone, hoping to divert the attention from the pulsing tension building up his spine since the question left his mouth. ‘ don’t think too hard about it, unmei-chan, ’ a smile, wide and amused. returning the favor is polite, even more so when he was so kindly addressed by her.

@einshi's   gojo   satoru   &   the   fate   /   prompted

❝ are you afraid of me? or of yourself? ❞

                    𝘯𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳,   𝘯𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳,   𝘯𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.   and   this   is   exactrly   why   it's   all   so   scary   —   or   rather,   should   be,   if   something   wasn't   wrong   with   and   within   her   —   the   lack   of   response   for   things   considered   fear   inducing,   whether   unnerving   by   nature   or   happening   at   random.   startled?   of   course   unmei   will   be   if   something   jumps   in   front   of   her   face,   but   that's   the   best   there   is   and   ever   will   be,   or   so   she   thinks.

                    should   she   share   that   with   satoru,   though?   besides,   how   can   she   be   scared   of   anything,   ever,   with   the   strongest   sorcerer   as   her   ally?   if   their   allyship   ever   comes   to   an   end,   too,   she's   oh   so   safe   —   geto   on   the   loose,   his   activity   well   -   known   within   religious   communities,   untouched   by   gojo's   hand.

                    ❝   you   speak   as   if   i   already   am   afraid   of   something   ;   as   if   there   were   only   two   choices,   too,   ❞   the   younger   muses,   tilting   her   head,   more   than   likely   reading   between   the   lines.   no   sarcastic   remarks   follow,   &   she   scoots   closer,   teetering   on   the   edge   of   infinity.

                    ❝   something   on   your   mind,   satoru   -   senpai?   ❞

                    the   honorific   is   spoken   so   innocently,   hopefully   feeding   the   other's   ego   enough   to   hear   the   reason   behind   his   inquiry.