Your gateway to endless inspiration
Pun - Blog Posts
Mental Eelness 20th Dec, 2022
Power Outage #81 Jellyfish Jelly
Nooo, not flowing water. Drugulas legend states that’s one of their fatal weaknesses (because they’re water soluble)
drugula ?
*sees rock on fire catapulted while in the middle of a nighttime raid*
Wow! Look at that firefly! So many this time of year!
Starscream: My powers have doubled since the last time we met.
Megatron: Two times zero is still zero.
Oooh, burn!
Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting.
Once upon a time there was a small desert village with a single well outside town. One day a young woman went to the well to fetch water, and the well heard her crying, and asked “What’s wrong?”
She stopped her sobbing and asked the well “You can talk?”
“Yes,” said the well. “Long ago, the witch who lives in this town gave me life so I could serve as a guardian to the townspeople.”
“Alas,” said the young woman. “I am the daughter of that witch. She lived in peace with the townsfolk for many years. But the new mayor, who is a violent and hateful man, riled the people up against her, and they burned her at the stake. I am young and still do not know very much magic. I tried to curse them, but my curses fizzled. Now I worry I will never avenge my mother’s death.”
“Do not be afraid,” said the well. “I will take care of this.”
The next morning, when the Mayor came to fetch water from the well, he heard an odd noise coming from the bottom. He peered over as far as he could to see what was happening. Then an impossibly long arm shot up from the bottom of the well, grabbed the mayor, and pulled him into the well shaft. There was a horrible crunching sound, and nobody ever saw the Mayor again. The townsfolk apologized to the witch’s daughter, and they all lived happily ever after.
Moral of the story: living well is the best revenge
It's a talking coin.
Sounds interesting, right?
Well, it's a tiny, tiny copper piece, much smaller than a modern penny, and it only says one thing, over and over.
"I am groat."
I’d better call the behavioural analysis unit on anyone who’s ever hurt you because there is no way they can't see how B.A.U.-tiful you are.
Person A, introducing their current partner to their family: And that's my sister! Hey, sis!
20 years later...
Person A, introducing new partner to family: And that's my brother! Hey, trans!
Yes it was a pun all along MWHAHAHAHAH
"paring knife? you said paring knife? uh, never mind then" I say as I subtly tuck my favorite parrying knife back into my boot