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Qimir - Blog Posts
Some of you are too afraid to admit this but we all know Star Wars works best when it goes full soap opera
Love the darth plagueis reveal because it’s 100% giving the energy of your roommate has a date over and you’re peeking out of your room to see if it’s safe to use the kitchen yet
and let's talk about how they cancel it within ONE MONTH OF IT AIRING like did you even really give it a chance?? was scrolling through twitter and it's all the (either outright or subtly) racist star-wars-purist white folks that are crying tears of joy at the acolyte being cancelled.
unfortunately i'm not even THAT surprised. they always see representation as something that taints the fictional universe they've come to love.
i feel like sometimes these kinds of fandoms—they'll tolerate a token poc character every so often, but god forbid too many at once. you're ruining the franchise! you're overdoing it!
why do the smallest & loudest & most miserable little bigots have to get their way I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS.
lower the budget for another season! idgaf! but i really hate getting so into a story just to never know how it ends.
MANNY JACINTO + tumblr/reddit/twitter/tik tok text posts
gotta love how qimir kills both of osha's only other potential love interests, and then asks her, in the sultriest, deepest, sluttiest voice he can manage, why she loves people who "can only go so far; who can't go as deep as [she] can."
like could you be any more desperate and pathetic... he may as well scream look at me instead!! if those losers were options at all then surely im a decent candidate!
not to mention that he force heals osha, lets her wield his saber, feeds her, doesn't even FLINCH at her trying to kill him. and those thumb caresses? yeah he wants her to love him so bad.
HES SO FUNNY THOUGH??
if sith why goofball
And so, I finished watching this show and you know, dumber than this show can only be the Disney cartoon of the century, for both are storyless, holey, raw and meaningless pictures that make you want to wash your eyes out.
So this is a continuation or addition to the first post about analyzing this "miracle". https://www.tumblr.com/rien-maz/755293709600456704/and-so-i-avoiding-all-spoilers-finished-my
First, I still had hope that Leslie would deign to "plug" the plot holes in the last two episodes, but no, that didn't happen.
After watching, there are still a bunch of questions and here are a few of them:
How did Mei get saved? How did our Sith pretty boy find her? How were the two twins created? Why are they the same person? Why does Darth Plagas show up there? What is his significance? Why doesn't physics work in this show? Why the fuck is Yoda suddenly unable to sense with the jedi force? What role does Mei's mark on her forehead play? Why are the two sisters acolyte? And so it goes on and on ad infinitum.
A little disclaimer: this post will contain rude words and phrases, heaps of sarcasm, and a suggestion that the ratings of this show be collapsed for spitting Leslie Hadland in the face of all Star Wars fans.
Let's start with the seventh episode: Leslie apparently wanted to add action to her terrible picture and filmed a scene of Saul chasing after Mei, trying to mimic Fast and Furious. But!
Before that, I had a question, how does Mei know about the concept of hell? Because I don't remember the star wars universe talking about heaven and hell even once. If my memory serves me correctly, all dead souls "fall into the Force".
Oh yeah, in this fine series we also have the "unkillable protagonist" principle at work, who went through the atmosphere at breakneck speed and didn't even bother to use the Force to slow his fall. Yeah, yeah, screw the basic skills of Force users.
I laughed at the conversation between the Senator and our main antagonist in the form of a green-skinned woman (I didn't even try to remember her name and I won't apologize for that). Did you smell something in that scene?
Oh yes, the romanticization of violence, particularly the dark side of the Force. Leslie, ignoring all the laws of Lucas' universe, made the Sith not the rapists and murderers who are alien to the humanity and compassion that kept slaves during the Emperor's reign on Dromund Kaas, and not only in those times. Even going back to the origins of the Sith, we know that the Sith were a race that lived on Korriban (if I remember correctly), and wow, you wouldn't believe it! They had slaves as a class in society too. Leslie made the Sith the poor saps that crave freedom from Jedi oppression.
Leslie is fucked up if she wants to romanticize those who killed, who betrayed, who plotted against each other, who destroyed, who perverted and who are simply evil in the flesh (the same Nikhilus, Darth Plagas, Darth Bane, Darth Tyranus, Darth Sidious (where else), etc.). Basically, Leslie romanticized Anakin Skywalker's killing of children with such a moment. After all, oh oh oh oh he's a poor guy who chose to be free of a "delusional cult".
Well done! Way to go! Good point, because killing other people is so cool, right, Leslie Hadland? That's what you're doing in this fucking show, saying that all Jedi are fucking egomaniacs who care about their own feelings and emotions (Mace Windu, Plo Koon, Obi-Wan Kenobi and the rest of the Jedi, along with their codes and teachings, fuck you).
But back to the series and its dumb plot, which there isn't.
Where were we? Oh yeah, on how I'm trashing this whole show and Leslie.
So, let's get on with it. The actors' performance was mentioned in the first post, so I won't repeat for the hundredth time what characters are flat, emotionless and so on. But I will talk about the motivation of the characters, that is, its absence. Seriously, neither the handsome Sith, nor Mei, nor Saul, nor Osha has any motivation. Osha hasn't changed at all since the first episode, she doesn't learn anything and just moves from one point to another just because other characters drag her there.
Zimmir's motivation for taking Acolyte's child as an apprentice is incomprehensible at all, simply because Leslie forgot to tell him what he's for and what powers he has.
I also have a question about the transformation of Oshi's lightsaber from blue to red. Because I only remember about the synthetic crystals that the Sith used to create their sword. But after poking around on the internet, I removed that statement. I didn't get a chance to pick on Leslie, unfortunately.
The biggest complaint about the last two episodes is where Mundi went and why Yoda, being the most powerful Jedi, didn't feel Zimmer cut out a group of Jedi and didn't feel cheated by Rowe (oh! I even remembered her name!) Why does the Jedi High Council care so absolutely nothing about missing and dead Jedi? Oh yeah, Leslie wants to show that, say, look what scum and moral freaks the Jedi are, just selfish!
In general, I could grumble for a long time, but I think you understood the main point and also realized how stupid this series is. As Dmitry Puchkov said "wasted time is a pity. One hundred percent digested feces."
So, in the end, what do we have? Osha and Zimmir's love line; Jedi egomaniacs and the romanticization of violence.
In fact, I suggest that for this spit, no, for the fact that Leslie spit in the face of Star Wars fans, to collapse the rating of this product on all platforms, so that Leslie realized that it is not worth offending fans.
And so I, avoiding all spoilers, finished my business and finished watching the "miracle" called "Acolyte". This post will be a subjective point of view, i.e. mine.
Make some tea, because this is going to be a BIG post.
Where do I start? Oh yes, the one that angered me the most - let's start with the characters, specifically their roles, backgrounds, and everything else on the list:
First off, the main characters are flat ( and I don't mean their shapes, they're fine).
One of the main characters, Osha, is striking in her lack of emotion. In the first episode we can still see her surprise at being accused of killing a Jedi, and we also see the changes between her child version and the adult version, but then she doesn't develop emotionally, sensually or physically. She doesn't learn anything throughout the 6 episodes. It feels like all the events pass her by and all we learn from them is that she hates her sister. But then again, she has no reaction in the first episode where she learns that Mei is alive and has killed a Jedi.
She also doesn't have much emotion for Saul, her old teacher, as if she doesn't care if he's there or not. When she sees the deaths of her two friends Jackie and Yord, Osha doesn't change a bit. You could write it off as all her thoughts being preoccupied with her sister, but no. These are the people closest to her, the ones she referred to in her conversation with Mei in Episode 5 as her family.
Throughout the 6 episodes we don't see an ounce of bitterness of loss for her family, although in episode 3 we are shown that she was very close to her mom emotionally. Osha doesn't develop as a character in any way. She was the same in both series 1 and 6. By the way, the same goes for Mei, but at least there's some character growth there
Mei, both as a child and as an adult, looks out for her own interests and that doesn't change even in Episode 5. Unlike Osha, Mei reacts to events around her, but most of them have no effect on the character herself. I can basically say the same thing about her as I can about Osha, but at least she has a small step of development: leaving the master and deciding to surrender to the Jedi. Subsequent events after that decision drive her into conflict, but Leslie Hadland killed those saplings of development in a scene where Mei changes into Osha's clothes and continues on her original path.
Jackie was in my opinion the most adequate character in this product, but just like with Osha, she doesn't react emotionally to the events that happen around her. She just acts as a supporting or supporting character because she doesn't play any special role in the main character's life. Jackie is not revealed as a character in any way. Other than her name and her affiliation with the Order, we don't know anything about her. We don't know her motivation, her principles, and so on. Just a character created for the crowd.
The same goes for Yord, who dilutes the plot with his goofiness (more on the plot later, for it is so raw that it is "bursting at the seams"). Like Jackie, we don't know anything about him. No, we know that he's an old acquaintance of Oshi's, who apparently doesn't care about the main character either, and that he has a great athletic body, which is so important to the plot. He's also just like Jackie a character for the masses and nothing more. He as well as the padawan don't play much of a role.
Saul. This grandfather is only pitiful because he is constantly "whining" and apologizing. He doesn't evoke, at least for me, any emotion other than pity. I don't know what Leslie Hadland was trying to achieve by creating such a character, probably she wanted to make a "martyr" in his image, which is either the image of a "little man", like Nikolai Gogol in the story "The Overcoat", or Alexander Pushkin's "The Station Keeper", where, like the main character of the story, Sol finds joy in his former padawan Osh.
The main antagonist of this product single-handedly saves the picture, out of a total of 6 episodes so far. Throughout the 5 episodes this character acted as a mystery to many, but to me, as soon as I saw him on the screen in the form of Mei's assistant, it was immediately clear who he was (thanks to the documentaries about maniacs from "Criminal Russia"). In fact, he was the only one who kept the intrigue going for 5 episodes.
And yes, the scene where he bathes naked in the water was very necessary in the director's opinion, because look how handsome Sith is. And cubes, and breasts and charisma in general hot man. And seriously, unlike with naked Yord, this scene was acceptable, because the main villain was unarmed, but still showed his power of persuasion. you could do without it, of course, but thank you for the beautiful man in the frame, who is the only one who carries the plot on his shoulders.
And so, we've dealt with the characters, let's move on to the next thing - namely the plot. This is an interesting thing, because I've never seen such predictable plots in my life.
So here it is: the plot is bad in that it is not finalized. It feels like the authors of this product came up with some super duper ending, and then remembered that it turns out it is necessary to write the whole story for this. But about everything in order. Let's go by series, because the first two episodes are the worst in this series at the moment.
The first episode starts by introducing us to the events, i.e. a lone assassin that has come to take revenge on a Jedi. Well, you decided to show us a killer that is ready to take someone else's life, but you chose a cool outfit: hair is open, face is covered by a mask only half, the hood she throws off, allowing people to see herself, and also leaves a witness at the scene of the crime. Well done, good killer. The bar fight scene itself I could describe as "what is this?", because the Jedi just stands and watches Mei scattering the customers, although we know from the same movies and clone wars that the Jedi immediately draw their swords and try to calm down the troublemaker, but no, we had to demonstrate Mei's strength, to show how cool she is.
We'll come back to the scene with the blade in his chest later because it made me laugh, but for now let's move on to the Osha indictment scene:
First point: how fast your ships fly. In the clone wars, poor guys spent cycles to get from one planet to another, and you're teleporting at plus ultra. What's my point? Yord himself said that Osha was VERY far from Coruscant, but they miraculously got there in a matter of minutes. Reminder: the actions of the first two episodes are 3 days apart in the story, so either I'm missing something here, or they abruptly lost such powerful ships during Palpatine's reign as Chancellor.
The second point: how accurately everyone remembers the face of our lone killer, although, if we take real life, people in stress can tell about the appearance of a person only in general features, to how few can identify the attacker in the exact features of the face, but we will omit this point.
The third point: physics comes out of the chat room or, to be more precise, out of Acolyte. Shchas will be a bet from the Internet, because I was not lazy to google it to convince myself of its correctness: "During experiments with fire on board the ISS, astronauts realized that fire does not behave exactly the same way as on Earth. Fire in space burns very differently. It burns with great difficulty, and it is even more difficult to ignite".
So, "F" for physics Leslie Hadland. And one more "F" for the living and not wounded protagonist, because the ship exploded into wreckage, and Osha was sitting near the nose of the ship, and not a single scratch on her. She was running away from the Jedi so vividly that no one would have believed she had just survived a spaceship crash. Another "F" for the equally lively Osha, who lay all night on a planet of snow and ice and didn't freeze her limbs off, even though she should have gone to the Force from being in light clothing in the cold for so long. Now I've led you smoothly to the technique that our "dear" Leslie used: the unkillable protagonist. Of course, she's the protagonist, we can't kill her, even though she should have died several times already for obvious reasons.
Fourth point: we haven't had a chance to get to know the character, and they dump his whole life story on us. Why? Why? There are no answers to these questions, but I'll explain the disadvantage, which is probably obvious to you already: we can't sympathize with the hero in his pain and loss, because we haven't had time to feel for him. We've literally been dumped a "heartbreaking" story and told to "sympathize with Osha, she's so miserable." No, Leslie, it doesn't work that way. With both Osha and Saul, we're immediately laid out the characters' pasts when we first learned their names. And while we can still sympathize with Saul in Jackie and Yord's murder scene, I'm sorry we can't, because as previously stated, she's a "flat character."
Fifth point: the writers of the product forget what they wrote originally. In the first episode, we are shown Mei killing a Jedi with a dagger, and later, our beautiful antagonist tells us that "Jedi cannot be killed with blade or sword." Okay? Okay? That's interesting, wow.
Sixth point: as mentioned in the first point, the plot runs at breakneck speed. Combined with all of the above, it's already hitting the plot pretty hard, which is as cliched as possible: two sisters were separated in childhood by events and now one is trying to reunite and the other to kill.
Seventh point: the Jedi have forgotten all their skills and only one of them uses the force normally and that's Saul. Why would I say that? Because the Jedi forget that they can sense other people with the Force. If they remembered that, Mei wouldn't have been able to kill two Jedi so easily. Oh yeah, Jedi do have telepathy, but Mace goes to hell with saying that they can only read minds and memories by diving into someone else's head, which requires a good ability to use the Force. And also that Jedi can only hear out loud thoughts and feel emotions and then empaths or telepaths can do that.
And if we remember the scene in the Clone Wars where Mace, Anakin and Kenobi "talk" to Cad Bane, the immersion into someone else's mind for a person who doesn't want it is accompanied by pain for the person to whom the action was directed. Yes, Leslie, it's worth familiarizing yourself with the universe you're doing the series in.
Eighth point: Leslie Hadland attempted to use the Chekhov's Gun technique, which refers to the dramaturgical principle that every element of the narrative should be necessary and non-essential elements should be removed. This can be seen in Osha's vision scene in the first episode, where she sees her sister, who says that she is alive and that she is going to kill more Jedi. This hints to us of the two sisters meeting after 16 years apart. Yes, you're good, but with the fact that the story asks the viewer a question and then answers it a couple seconds later, it doesn't work. I mean, the scene where Osha is led to the Prison Ship in handcuffs, followed by the scene with Saul's monologue about how what our eyes see isn't always the truth. In other words, in the first two episodes we have already been told the story that will go on, because of which we can watch further only because of the handsome Sith, nothing more.
I could say more about swords, but I've said too much already, so we'll summarize.
As I said earlier, the plot is as predictable and, frankly, raw as possible. It has many moments of incomprehension and outrage. This is especially outrageous for me as a Star Wars fan (I've been watching since I was 6 years old, even though I'm of legal age)
As a result, what we have: a predictable plot with flat characters, sexualization of men and a bunch of clichés. Oh yes, and physics, which was sent far away.
Remember that in this post I only wrote my opinion on the series. If you like it, that's strictly a personal matter and each of you is fully free to have an opinion that differs from mine. I just wanted to express my indignation and point out the mistakes that I saw in the series while watching it.
That's all.
I love the fact that Osha’s wardrobe change in episode 8 implies that Qimir just has a perfectly tailored, edgelord Dark-side outfit ready for Mae/Osha, or that Osha has just been carrying it around this whole time waiting until she could break it out to be dramatic.