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Rook stumbles upon a hidden bookshelf in the Lighthouse.
Rook: *running their fingers across the book spines* What’s this? Your evil plan repository?
Solas: Unimportant.
Rook: Oddly reticent. Let’s have a read.
Solas: NO!
Rook: Oh, that just makes me want to read it more.
Rook pulls a random book out and flips to a random page. The smile on their face drops. Their brow furrows.
Rook: Solas, literally the first sentence I read was: “My mouth descended upon her yearning flower.”
Solas: *coughs awkwardly and looks away*
Rook: Solas…Solas, is this your porn stash?
Solas: Erotica.
Rook: Nuance, listen—wait, this is your hand writing. D-did…did you write this?
Solas: …
Rook: *grabs another random book* You’re hand writing again. “Her masterful mouth and tongue worked my-“
Solas: You don’t have to read it out loud.
Several hours later…
Rook: * throwing books all over the place* It’s all fucking lewd’s!!! You wrote all this smut!
Solas: A mere thought experiment put to paper.
Rook: This is not a thought experiment, this is a horny dissertation! All about you and this Lavellan lady. Andraste’s Tits! Are you trying to get a PhD in Down Bad?!
Solas: Can we stop talking now?
Rook: Did you get this peer reviewed by Desire Demon’s or something? This shit’s smutty. I thought Varric was bad.
Sometime…
Lavellan: My name is Lavellan.
Rook, mouth agape, turns to the projection of Solas.
Solas: Not. A. Word.
Rook: *shaking Lavellan’s hand* Hi. I’ve read all about you.
A tear in the Fade appears. Solas reaches out and begins to strangle Rook.
I like to write Solas and Lavellan as equally unhinged.