Taesung X Oc - Blog Posts

lvi. on and off-stage drama

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CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX ─ on and off-stage drama.

❛ i swear i don't love the drama, it loves me ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

"What?!" I breathed out, "Inhyuk's going back to his village? Taesung and Jay are quitting Eclipse? What- what do you mean by that?"

"Exactly," Sunjae nodded remorsefully, "They're saying that they'll finish this festival performance one last time and then quit. But Inhyuk's already left. He's staying with his parents in his village."

It felt as if my entire world was falling apart. I couldn't let this happen. I was supposed to change the future for the better, not create a bigger mess. I had to fix this, by whatever means necessary. 

"Well, we gotta stop this," I said decisively, "Let's talk to Taesung after rehearsal."

"It's a plan," Sunjae said, smiling. His face twisted into an expression of shock when he looked at his watch, "Oh! We're ten minutes late!"

Narrator's Perspective

"What language is this, even?" Yumi exclaimed looking at the script, "Thou lovs't me not with the full weight that I love thee? This nutjob has written the entire play like this! How did I even pass the audition?"

The other students who were part of the cast sat and watched the 'couple' in adoration instead of revising their scripts. They whispered and giggled uncontrollably, much to Yumi's irritation. Taesung, however, was not-so-secretly enjoying it. He was basking in the attention, and the fact that people thought he and Yumi were a real couple made his heart swell with joy.

"You'll do fine," he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. His touch still made sparks dance across her skin. He leaned towards her face and gave her a smile, "We've got plenty of time, hmm?"

"What's your role anyways?" Yumi asked, looking anywhere but at his face.

"Oliver," he answered, not shifting his gaze.

Yumi began furiously flipping through the pages of the script. All of a sudden, she gasped, "Seriously?"

"What?" Taesung asked, sitting next to her, peering into the script.

"Oliver and Celia get married at the end?" she scoffed, but her flushed face said otherwise, "On the basis of what? I swear Shakespeare was on crack each time he picked up his pen."

"How could you say such a thing about him?" Eunyoung said. She had just gotten there along with Sunjae, "Why hasn't rehearsal started yet?"

"Well, the director suddenly fell sick so the writers told us to revise on our own for today," Taesung explained.

"Oh, we ran here for no reason," Sunjae said, chuckling while shooting a knowing glance at Eunyoung. Eunyoung smiled back, "I know right?"

"Ooooh, damn are you two a thing now?" asked one of the girls sitting close to them, eavesdropping.

"How 'bout you mind your own business?" Yumi sneered with hostility.

"How am I supposed to ignore it when they're flirting right in front of me?"

"Maybe you need a lesson on personal space?" Yumi said, taking a step away from her. 

The girl rolled her eyes, then picked up her things and walked off, muttering under her breath.

"You seem to be in a mood today," Eunyoung observed.

"You can thank Shakespeare for that," Yumi replied.

"I don't know why you hate a man who died several centuries ago," Eunyoung uttered.

"I don't know why you like a man who died several centuries ago," Yumi countered.

"I don't like the man, I just thing his work had a timeless element to it."

"And so here we are."

"Okay, okay, stop the bickering," Taesung said waving his hand between them.

"We're not bickering," Yumi shrugged.

"That's just how we get along," Eunyoung agreed, giving Yumi a small smile.

"As long as there's no bloodshed, I'm good," Taesung said.

"How's the prep for the Eclipse performance going?" Yumi asked eagerly. Her question was followed by a long, awkward silence. Taesung stared at Sunjae, Sunjae glanced at Eunyoung, and Eunyoung looked at Yumi nervously.

"I guess you don't know," Sunjae said as gently as he could, "Inhyuk left for his village, because he wanted to help his parents out... He's also planning on dropping out."

"What?!" Yumi exclaimed. Heads turned to see what the commotion was about. She stood, completely stunned for few seconds, "What's going to happen to your band?" She shot a worried look at Eunyoung, as if to say What is happening? Is this our fault?

"Taesung, didn't you-" Eunyoung gestured him not to mention it, shaking her head as subtly as she could. She didn't want to give Taesung and Yumi a reason to argue again. Sunjae covered up his blunder, "Didn't you say you were going to call him?"

"Um... yeah I was," said Taesung, glad that they hadn't mentioned to Yumi that he was going to leave the band, "He didn't pick up."

"So, Sunjae and I were thinking," Eunyoung began, "That we go and visit his village and bring him back to his senses. What do you think?"

"I'm in," Taesung said, looking at Yumi, his eyes full of expectation.

"What if we can't convince him?"

"Oh, you pessimist," Eunyoung groaned, "If he doesn't agree voluntarily, then we'll kidnap him, okay? Are you in or not?"

"I'm in," she said, realizing she wasn't left with much of a choice.

"Good," said Sunjae, "We leave tomorrow?"

"Yeah," said everyone in unison.

There were a few minutes of silence as they all went back to reading their scripts. A moment later, Eunyoung looked up, "Hey, Taesung?"

"Hmm?"

"I had to ask you about that..." she trailed off.

Taesung frowned with confusion, but the realization hit him soon enough and she said, "Oh,  right. Of course," he said, getting up, "We'll be back."

Yumi and Sunjae watched them get up and go outside the auditorium.

"That was weird," Yumi said, furrowing her brows.

"Breathe if you're jealous."

💿

"Any updates?" she asked Taesung, "About my dad? Was the information I gave conclusive enough?"

"Yeah, they've started the investigation," he answered, "My dad said that considering his history, he'll most likely get a life sentence. He wanted me to ask if it's okay with you."

"Yes, absolutely," Eunyoung said decisively. 

Taesung blinked a few times, "Okay, if that's what you want."

"It is."

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nana's notes: bet u didn't see that one coming

delphi's notes: yumi and sunjae are such an awkward duo lmfao 

lv. in the shadows

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CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE ─ in the shadows.

❛ oh this place is the same as it ever was but you don't like it ❜

Narrator's Perspective

The members of Eclipse sat around a small coffee table on mismatched couches and chairs in Inhyuk's humble abode. The walls stained with water leakages and chipping paint were filled with posters and random picture frames. A white electric fan was plugged in in one corner of the room filled the place with a constant whirring sound that cut through their silence. All of them knew what there was to discuss. They were just waiting for someone to bring it up.

Their equipment- drums, guitars, a piano and mics, crowded the tiny room that seemed too small with the four of them there. When they had the Jagam School Music Club to practice, things were different. But now that they used their own practice space, their dream of being a famous band seemed unrealistic and childish. Everyone was this close to calling it quits, yet none of them had the heart to voice their concerns. So Sunjae, Inhyuk, Taesung and Jay sat in silence, staring at the instruments longingly.

"I don't think I'll be able to stay till the university festival," Inhyuk spoke at last, "I'm not able to pay rent here, and my parents are calling me back to my village. I'm also going to have to drop out of college. I'm really sorry guys."

"I've also been thinking of calling it quits," Taesung said, placing a hand on his guitar, "It all seems a little pointless now."

His joy for playing the guitar had diminished after everything that went down with Yumi. While teaching Yumi, he had hit a high point in his life. It felt amazing to pass on his skill to someone he cared so much about. After the accident, the guitar seemed almost heavy in his arms, like a burden he had to carry along with the guilt of hurting Yumi. The scar on his face was a constant reminder of his mistake.

"If you all are leaving..." Jay couldn't get himself to finish his sentence.

Sunjae stood up in disbelief, "So, that's it?" he asked, frowning, "You're all just going to sulk and give up because a few things didn't go your way? Is that all this meant to you? Come on, we're better than this!"

"You don't get it, Sunjae," Inhyuk said wearily, "It's not going to work. In fact it's not been working for a while now. We just need to accept it now"

💿

"What was so important that we had to meet like this?" Taesung asked, staring down at the cracked pavement beneath his sneakers. His voice carried a mix of irritation and curiosity. "It feels like I'm doing a drug deal."

The sun hung mercilessly in the afternoon sky, its rays sharp and unrelenting. The heat wrapped around him like an unwelcome second skin, and sweat clung to his brow before trickling down the side of his face. The neighborhood was eerily quiet—no kids playing, no distant hum of lawnmowers—just the oppressive weight of midsummer silence. Most people had wisely chosen to stay indoors, leaving the two of them alone on the deserted street.

"Oh, and you'd know how a drug deal works?" Eunyoung quipped, folding her arms across her chest. Her voice had the usual teasing edge, but it was undercut by an unusual tension. She had something important to say—something that had been eating at her—but now that she was here, face-to-face with Taesung, she found herself second-guessing her decision. Could she really trust him with this?

"What did you want to ask me?" Taesung pressed, letting her taunt roll off him like water off a duck's back. He was used to her jabs by now; they were as routine as the rising sun. He sighed, his gaze flickering up to meet hers. "You didn't drag me out here just to be annoying, right?"

"Well..." Eunyoung hesitated, her eyes darting away. Her fingers fidgeted with the hem of her shirt as she tried to gather her thoughts. "Your dad is a cop, right?"

"Yeah," Taesung replied, his brow furrowing slightly. His voice carried a note of suspicion now. "Why?"

"How do I know?" Eunyoung echoed his unspoken question, as though anticipating it. "Yumi told me," she said simply, as if that explained everything.

"Of course she did," he muttered under his breath, shaking his head.

"When are you going to man up and tell her how you feel?" Eunyoung asked abruptly, her tone sharp and cutting through the heavy air. She leaned closer, her expression equal parts exasperation and challenge. It was a question she'd been holding back for too long, but her patience had finally worn thin. Ever since the accident, Taesung's feelings for Yumi had been impossible to ignore. They hovered around him like a shadow, obvious to everyone but him. "How long am I supposed to act like I don't see what's going on?"

Taesung froze, caught off guard. His ears turned a vivid shade of red, and he stammered, "Is that what you wanted to ask me?"

"This discussion isn't over," Eunyoung warned, narrowing her eyes. "But no, that's not why I asked you here." She straightened, her playful tone replaced by something heavier.

"You mentioned my dad," Taesung reminded her, seizing the opportunity to steer the conversation away from the uncomfortable subject of Yumi. "What about him?"

"Right," Eunyoung said, exhaling a shaky breath. She rubbed the back of her neck, avoiding his gaze. "I... know someone who's been involved in some crimes, and I need someone trustworthy to help catch them."

"There's no one better than my dad for that," Taesung said, his tone even. It was clear he wasn't saying it out of admiration, just cold fact. "What kind of crimes?"

"Oh, you know..." Eunyoung mumbled, glancing at the ground as though it might provide her an escape. "Money laundering, gambling... that sort of thing."

"What?!" Taesung's eyes widened in shock. His voice pitched up, the incredulity plain on his face. "What's any of that got to do with you?"

Eunyoung hesitated again, her fingers twisting together. The truth hovered on the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed it down. "I'm not sure I should say," she murmured, doubt flickering across her face.

"It's fine," Taesung said gently. His voice softened, as though sensing her unease. "I'm not going to tell anyone."

Eunyoung took a deep breath, bracing herself. "It's my dad," she confessed quietly, the words heavy in the summer air. "My dad's the criminal."

Taesung froze, his expression shifting from surprise to something deeper—shock mixed with disbelief. His mouth opened as if to respond, but no words came out. What was there to say to a revelation like that?

"He came to see me the other day," Eunyoung continued, her voice steady despite the knot tightening in her chest. She couldn't tell him the truth—that she knew about her father because she was from the future. Instead, she stuck to the story she'd prepared. "He told me everything. He wanted me to convince my mom to lend him some money, but I refused and walked away."

For a long moment, Taesung said nothing. Then he nodded slowly, his expression unreadable. "I can get you in touch with my father," he said quietly. "He'll know what to do."

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nana's notes: someone send help-

delphi's notes: shit's bout to go down

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CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR ─ expect the unexpected.

❛ you're so lovely, when you cry, it hurts me ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Sunjae rang the doorbell and stood nervously before Eunyoung's front door, anticipating someone to open the door. All day, only thoughts of Eunyoung occupied his mind. Worry clouded his thoughts as he kept wondering how she was doing, would she be okay, would she miss him? A few moments later, just as he was about to leave because he thought no one must be there to open the door, Eunyoung's mother opened the door, glaring down at him spitefully.

"You must be Sunjae," she said unblinkingly, "I've heard a lot about you."

"I'm here to see Eunyoung," he blurted out, swallowing his fear, "Yumi said she was sick."

"Wait here."

And she disappeared into the house. Sunjae took off his shoes and stepped into their living room. He was met with a sense of familiarity, recalling the day he found out he could never swim again, and Eunyoung was there for him as a pillar of support, offering priceless comfort and kindness, as she always had; And they had been moments away from kissing. The moment had been fleeting, almost as if they imagined it all. Now, they were together at last, nothing holding them back. Eunyoung had brought happiness back into his life after he was forced to give up on his dream. Thinking back, Eunyoung was his only reason to keep going...

"She's inside," Eunyoung's mother told him, her previous cold demeanor had thawed, seeing his worried frown and nervous behavior, "You can go and see her."

"Thank you," he gave a quick bow and entered the room Eunyoung's mother had pointed to. It must have been Eunyoung's room, and he paused for a brief second taking it all in. A couple of picture frames of her with her family and a couple of bookshelves lined with various books. A subtle sterile scent of medicine had settled in the room, along with the aroma of some kind of soothing balm. He finally laid his eyes on Eunyoung, sitting on her bed with a white blanket draped over her body. A bowl of water with a napkin was placed at her bedside table with care- presumably by her mother.

Eunyoung's face melted into a warm, welcoming smile as her eyes met Sunjae's. He smiled back, and it was like honey dripping from his crescent-moon-eyes. He quickly took a seat on the chair beside the bed, "I was so worried," he said, taking her hands, caressing them softly as he spoke, "Yumi said you got a hundred degree fever."

"Oh please!" Eunyoung exclaimed, trying her hardest to ignore the heat on her face when he held her hands, "She must have said that to make you feel guilty. My temperature has gone down now. I'll be fine by tomorrow. It's nothing to worry about."

"How could I not worry about you?"

Eunyoung's face turned a bright red, her eyes widening.

"Your face looks flushed, what's wrong?" he asked, concerned, placing the back of his hand on her cheek, "You're so warm! I can leave if you need to rest-"

"Don't go!" Eunyoung called out as he stood up, grabbing a hold of his hand. It was now Sunjae's turn to blush like a fool. His heart swelled with the warmth of Eunyoung's touch. He slowly turned back and sat once again, "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Eunyoung answered with no hesitation, "I want you here."

💿

"YOU DID WHAT?" Yumi bellowed at Taesung. Taesung shrunk back, his ears left in pain from the unexpected power in her voice.

"Shhh!" he hissed at her. They were currently at the bus stop, and people turned to look at them.

"Oh, look they're having a lovers' quarrel!"

"Young love, oh!"

Taesung felt his face flush as he leaned closer to her. "People are looking," he muttered under his breath, trying to deflect the growing attention.

"I can see that," she snapped back, her arms crossed in frustration, "But how the hell did you in your right mind enroll me to act in a Shakespeare play? Did I seem like that kind of girl to you? Because I'm not!"

Taesung stayed silent for a few seconds. He couldn't find the words to tell her that he wanted to spend more time with her. They had been separated after that horrible accident, and he finally had an excuse to see her. It made him feel at peace again. Like a part of him that had been forcefully taken away had returned to him. Now he had no choice but to hold on to her for dear life, praying that she wouldn't leave again.

"I'm sorry," was all he could mutter.

Yumi's heart sank watching his posture droop and his eyes focus on the ground. She hadn't meant to be that harsh, she was just shocked at his sudden decision, "No... I'm not mad. Just surprised... It's okay. I can do it. We get some kind of participation reward too right? I'll do it."

A flicker of life returned to Taesung's eyes at her reluctant acceptance. "You don't have to if you don't want to-" he began, his voice lifting slightly with hope.

"No, it's fine," she assured, waving her hand in front of her face. She didn't want to hurt him. Not again. Not after everything they had been through, "I'll have a bad image if I back down, anyways. And it could be fun, right?!"

"Yeah, Sunjae, Eunyoung, Inhyuk are all there," he replied, his face lighting up with an enthusiastic smile that always had the power to melt her defenses. Watching him, Yumi felt a warmth spread through her chest, the tension easing as memories of their past together flickered in her mind. Despite the rough start, she couldn't help but feel a spark of hope rekindling between them.

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nana's notes: sunjae and eunyoung are literally so precious i cannot even-

delphi's notes: yumi's soft spot for taesung is reviving my will to live

list of chapters here! next chapter: friday

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CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE ─ expect the unexpected.

❛ and it feels like the start of a movie i've seen before, but you're not here ❜

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

I practically ran down the stairs, my heartbeat drumming on inside my chest as I felt a new kind of giddy excitement to meet Eunyoung. I had always felt incredibly happy at the thought of her, but this was different. With all that had happened yesterday, it felt like all the puzzle pieces fit perfectly and we were together at last. Everything in my life seemed to lead me here, to Eunyoung.

To my disappointment, on descending the last stair, instead of seeing Eunyoung's smiling face greet me, I saw her sister, Yumi waiting impatiently. Before I could speak, she turned around suddenly, making me jump a little. She was glaring at me with a kind of resentment and disgust that made me feel sick. I took a step back, cowering before her.

"You know, I wanted to be happy about you and Eunyoung," she said menacingly, "But now I'm thinking that you're all kinds of trouble."

"What did I do?" I asked, furrowing my brows in confusion.

"Last night, you guys must have had your rom-com moment in the rain," she started, "But now Eunyoung is lying in bed with a 100 degree fever."

"What?!" I yelled way too loudly, my eyes widening and my heartbeat quickening, "Eunyoung is sick?!" It made me mad. Guilt seemed to be gnawing at my heart as I realized it was my fault. Before I could get a response from Yumi, whose rage had been replaced by surprise at my exaggerated reaction, I began running to Eunyoung's front door.

"I wouldn't go in if I were you," Yumi said. I stopped in my tracks. She continued, "Mom's been up all night taking care of her and her opinion of you is not exactly favorable."

Narrator's Perspective

By the time Sunjae and Yumi had reached school, there was a strange awkwardness between them since Eunyoung wasn't there to play the mutual friend. But when Yumi considered the situation in her mind and concluded that it would be a lot worse if Eunyoung had been with them, because then it would have been Yumi third wheeling with a couple who was so obnoxiously sweet she would have vomited. So, she sat there with Sunjae, feeling grateful for the awkward air that had settled between them.

"So, are you in the school play?" Sunjae asked her out of politeness. He had begun to get a little restless because of the silence. He had imagined his bus ride to college a lot differently. He thought it would be romantic with Eunyoung next to him. But instead he was forced to deal with Yumi; He knew by instinct that she was just tolerating him because of Eunyoung, and honestly he felt the same way.

"No, I'm not," she said without looking at him, "I don't even want to get into all this festival nonsense. I'm the last person to do a thing like a school play. And they chose a Shakespeare play? Forget it."

You ask a simple question... Sunjae sighed internally, "I just thought you would audition- you know, since your boyfriend is in the play."

I guess Eunyoung hasn't told him... This made Yumi feel a little at peace; The fact that Eunyoung was guarding her secret well was a comforting thought.

"Do I seem like the kind of person to humiliate myself on stage because my boyfriend i decided to do it?" she asked formidably.

"I guess not," Sunjae said, giving up on making pleasantries, "I gotta go anyways." He practically ran away from her.

💿

The auditorium was filled with playful banter and friendly conversations. The cast of the Shakespearean play As You Like It that had been casted so far were gathered there for the very first practice. The actors crowded the stage, discussing their roles and reading their scripts. The director and writers responsible for translating the play into Korean occupied a table with various sheets of paper stacked and a microphone to maintain some order.

"Excuse me ! Everybody! May I have your attention please?" asked the girl who was given the role of director. The chaos settled down, slowly but surely, "Thank you. Is everybody here? Or is someone missing?"

"Eunyoung isn't here," Sunjae answered promptly. His comment was followed with some girls eyeing him and whispering among themselves.

"Oh my gosh!"

"Do they like each other or what?"

"I swear there's something going on since the field trip!"

Sunjae wondered if he was being too obvious but chose to ignore the gossip.

"What's her character?" asked the director, looking down at her list of participants.

"Rosalind," he answered. He could hear more whispers.

"Rosalind?!" she repeated, taken aback, "Our Rosalind is absent? Why on earth would she miss the first rehearsal?"

"Uh, she's down with fever!" Sunjae told her, "Pretty bad, actually- hundred degrees. Her sister told me." He ignored the giggling that followed his rather enthusiastic answer.

"Oh, dear," said the director a little calmer than before, "Well, tell her to take care, then. And tell her that absenteeism will not be tolerated except for health related reasons. I'll let her off the hook this one time."

Sunjae heaved a sigh of relief. The writer sitting next to the director whispered something in her ear. Her eyes went wide, "She's one of the writers too? That is... unfortunate."

"Could you be any more obvious?" Taesung sneered.

"Shut up," he snapped, "At least she's in the play."

"Ouch," Taesung said defensively, "Damn, Sunjae didn't think you were stingy like that."

"By the way," began the director, addressing Sunjae, "What's your character?"

"Orlando," he answered plainly.

"Good," the director smiled. The students began hooting and screaming with excitement.

"Okay, settle down," said the writer. He took the microphone from the director, "We don't have an actress for the role of Celia. Does anyone have any suggestions? Anybody wishing to audition?"

A lightbulb suddenly lit up in Taesung's head, "I know someone who could play the role."

"Do they have a name?"

"Uh, yes," he answered, the palms of his hands feeling sweaty, "Choi Yumi from the Practical Music Department." Once again, people began ooh-ing and ahh-ing. 

"Bring her to rehearsal tomorrow to audition," said the writer in a matter-of-fact tone. Taesung smiled ever so slightly. Now he would get to spend some time with her...

"Okay, so since we don't have Rosalind or Celia, we can start with act one, scene one..."

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nana's notes: yumi is literally ready to fight sunjae

delphi's notes: don't mess with yumi

TOWARDS YOU: the playlists.

while you wait for chapter fifty-three, here are the official playlists for TOWARDS YOU 💌.

TOWARDS YOU: the official soundtrack.

TOWARDS YOU ── lovely runner.

TOWARDS YOU ── eunjae's version.

TOWARDS YOU ── taemi's version.

choi eunyoung's playlist.

choi yumi's playlist.

i am free at long last

my exam is finally over!!!! *intense clapping* you know what that means? TOWARDS YOU is back!! chapter fifty-three will be out on 4th april (friday) in the meantime, i'm working on the following chapters as well :)

@the-one-and-only-delphi and i are working on other things to put out as well, so stay tuned as always <3 remember to interact with my stories so i can get to know the wonderful people who read and like my work ❤️

xlii. rain, romance and revelations

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CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO ─ rain, romance and revelations.

❛ but i can't help myself, when you get close to me ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

Sunjae and I sat side by side on his living room couch, dripping with rainwater that soaked into the sofa fabric. The couch was large enough to seat at least four people, and yet we sat close together, soaking up each others' warmth, afraid to let go. One of Sunjae's jackets was now draped over my shoulders. My brain could hardy comprehend anything that was happening. He had found me in the rain and kissed me. I couldn't believe it. It was like a scene straight out of a rom-com movie. My heart pounded against my chest, and the rain and chilly breeze couldn't put out the fire inside me.

Sunjae reached for a towel, his movements unhurried and gentle, as if he were handling something precious. He stepped closer, the warmth of his presence cutting through the chill that clung to my skin. Without a word, he began drying my hair, his touch soft and deliberate. The fabric brushed against my scalp, and I could feel the care behind every motion.

My body froze for a moment, caught off guard by the intimacy of it all. My heart stumbled over its rhythm as I became fixated on him—on the way his eyes held a quiet tenderness, the kind that made it impossible to look away. His damp hair clung to his forehead, and I could see the faint shiver in his frame, but he didn't seem to care. His only focus was on me.

The butterflies in my stomach took flight, their wings fluttering wildly at the realization of how selfless he was. He didn't even think twice about his own discomfort, his own cold. His hands moved with a kind of attentiveness that made my chest tighten, like I'd stumbled into a dream I never wanted to wake up from.

Then he paused. His hands stilled, the towel resting lightly against my head. Slowly, he looked at me, his gaze shifting, as if he'd just realized how close we were—how my eyes hadn't left him for even a second. His expression softened, yet there was a flicker of uncertainty, of awareness that hadn't been there a moment ago.

I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, spreading like wildfire. My breath hitched, and I wondered if he could feel the way my pulse quickened, even though I wasn't sure I could speak. The air between us felt charged, delicate, as if a single word might break whatever spell we'd found ourselves under.

"What's the matter?" he asked softly. His voice rung like the melody of a love song.

"You're so sweet," I breathed out after a few seconds.

His face melted into a smile, showing his adorable dimple and his eyes becoming like crescent moons. My own lips stretched into a smile. All I wanted was to see him happy; No matter who he was with. But now here he was, wrapping his arms around my waist, smiling sweetly at me.

"I cant believe you avoided me for so many days."

"I do feel a bit silly now, thinking back," I giggled out, "But you really gave me a scare. I thought you were going away for good."

"I would have," he confessed, "If it weren't for someone making it impossible for me to go anywhere."

"I didn't realize you were so cheesy."

"So what, you don't like me anymore?" he asked, bringing his face closer to mine.

"I still like you," I answered with a laugh, giving him a short kiss. I watched his face and ears turn red in an instant and I couldn't help but chuckle. He's so cute...

Suddenly, the sound of the front door opening startled the both of us. Before we had any time to process what was happening, Sunjae's dad appeared with a blue cloth bag and an umbrella in his hand. He stood before us, paralyzed in a state of shock. I moved a bit further from Sunjae, trying to increase the distance between us.

"Oh! Eunyoung!" he exclaimed finally, "I see... you both got drenched in the rain! Oh, dear, you must be very cold..." He rattled on.

"I'll get going then!" I got up suddenly, waving an awkward goodbye to both of them.

"Sunjae, I'll- uh, return your jacket! Later..."

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

I watched as Eunyoung practically bolted out of my house after muttering out an excuse for my dad. Dammit, now I have to explain myself to my dad. Looking at my father's smug smile, I realized he must have put two and two together already.

"I wasn't born yesterday, son," he said, still smiling.

"I know," I gulped.

"I can't say I'm surprised."

"Oh, you're not?"

"Not a bit," he said rather confidently, "You finally got your act together!"

"So," I began, "You're okay with this? With Eunyoung and I-"

"Okay?! Oh, I'm more than okay!" he let out a hearty laugh, "You have my blessing!"

I felt my heart relax and I let out a sigh of relief. I had my father's permission. He was a stubborn man, and it was a huge deal. I just hope Eunyoung's mother is as supportive.

Narrator's Perspective

Eunyoung, her mother and Yumi sat in the living room for dinner while the rain pitter-pattered against the windows. Everyone was eating in silence- as they often did, but tonight, Eunyoung kept smiling to herself every few seconds while still looking down at her plate. Her mom glanced at Yumi, hoping that she would know why Eunyoung was so happy. 

"We gotta get used to this," she said loudly.

Eunyoung looked up at Yumi in confusion, "What?"

"Why is that?" Their mother asked tentatively. 

"You wanna tell her or should I?" Yumi asked Eunyoung.

"Tell her about what?"

"About your boyfriend."

Her mother's eyebrows shot up, "Boyfriend?"

"Oh," Eunyoung realized, "Right. I was going to tell you after things were official... but I guess since Yumi's already spilled the beans... I'll just tell you. I'm dating this guy..."

"Who?"

"Oh, you know," Eunyoung avoided her gaze, looking at the walls behind where her mother was seated, a red tinge appearing on her face, "It's umm... Sunjae. Ryu Sunjae- you know he lives-"

"Oh," her mother exclaimed, pleasantly surprised, "The guy next door? He seemed nice..."

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nana's notes: cute chapter after all the hell i put them thru :P last chapter before my hiatus :( see u in april!

delphi's notes: somebody check my blood sugar this is too sweet-

next chapter: april 1st list of chapters here!

announcement !!

dear readers of TOWARDS YOU,

firstly, i wanted to say thank you to all those who have been reading TOWARDS YOU <3 your support means the world to me, and i am beyond grateful for all the likes and reblogs. i never imagined i would write, let alone publish fifty chapters of a fanfic.

i have a really important exam coming up in march 2025 (this year) that i need to prepare for so i have decided to go on a hiatus till my exam ends in april. i originally planned to keep writing, but it turns out that i'm out of pre-written chapters and i don't think i will be able to keep up with the current posting schedule. i will definitely, 100% be back in april with new chapters, and till then i ask for your patience (although i'm not really sure if anyone cares enough to wait lol) chapter fifty two will be up today!

in the meanwhile i will keep writing as and when i can so i can go back to posting regularly when my exam is over :)

li. thunderstorm

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE ─ thunderstorm.

❛ meet me in the pouring rain, kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain ❜

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

My footsteps sounded on the concrete pavement as I ran with all my might towards Eunyoung's house. All the strength in my body was being utilized just to bring me to her and fix all the misunderstandings once and for all. I felt the chilly wind through my hair, and the breeze picking up dust and sending it flying everywhere, as if transporting me to my first meeting with Eunyoung. The skies had begun to grow darker, grey clouds casting their shadow over the Earth. I felt a sharp pain in my left leg, but I kept going, desperation flowing through my veins, pulling me closer to Eunyoung.

How clearly I remembered the very first day I encountered her. It was a day so magical and surreal, unlike any other; And I doubt any day could be compared with it. We had only known each other for a brief few minutes when she took my hand as we ran through the rain without a care in the world. Her actions were so elegant, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and for the first time, I found myself unable to hate the rain. It left me breathless and awestruck at her sheer beauty- and that smile that I could never erase from my mind.

Memories with little stolen moments with her flashed before my eyes. My mind wandered back to the night of the field trip; Her delicate fingers tracing the contours on my body, her warm touch and seemingly careless drunken words that meant the world to me. At first, I had been quick to believe that it was all a mistake. But there was an undeniable sincerity in her voice, something too real to be ignored.

Realizing that she was upset and in tears because she thought I had left for America blossomed hope inside me. Though it was hard to believe that someone as dazzling as Eunyoung could ever like me back, a feeling in my gut told me that it was meant to be. And all the moments we spent together had come to this. For a split second, I had considered going to America and giving it another shot. But then the thought of being separated from Eunyoung made me feel dizzy and sick.

As I turned a corner, my pace slowed down as I saw her at last, walking in her rain with no umbrella. Eunyoung.

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

Rainwater trickled down from my hair, onto my face and even my clothes. I felt it slowly dripping down, soaking my jacket as the downpour grew heavier by the minute. The storm was just like the day I met Sunjae, and we ran through the rain without a care in the world. There was a different kind of storm brewing inside of me. The memory came back to me, but rather than feeling happy reminiscing on it, it felt more like a needle pricking me, piercing through my skin.

I dragged my feet along the street. I couldn't even find the strength to lift my feet. No matter how I tried to explain to myself that Sunjae going away was a good thing, and that he would be happier, my stubborn heart continued to ache with longing. The thought of not being able to see him again was unbearable and the thought of which brought tears to my eyes.

My tears, mixing with the rainwater, cascaded down my face like a mighty waterfall. I had never felt more pathetic. Not only had I embarrassed myself in front of the boy I loved, but I had also lost the chance to say a proper goodbye. It was completely heartbreaking and I could feel the pain in my chest as I started to sob loudly. The rain drowned the sound, and it was as if the skies cried with me, engulfed in sorrow.

Just then, I felt someone's grip on my wrist. The touch startled me, and I turned to see who it was with hesitation. My eyes, red and sore, still streaming tears, went wide. It was Sunjae, wet hair dripping down his face and he was breathing heavily. His furrowed eyebrows softened on seeing me, and my heart skipped a beat. Even in this situation... he looked as beautiful as ever.

"Sunjae," I breathed out, "What- what-"

Before I had the chance to finish my sentence, both his hands grabbed my face and I felt his lips crash onto mine. My heart pounded in my head, and I felt my body getting warmer despite the cold rainwater sticking to me. The kiss was aggressive at first, as if desperate to prove a point. I was taken aback. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought something like this would happen. I found myself melting into his kiss without another thought, my body yielding to his touch in the most natural way possible. 

My hands reached for his waist, and in that moment, the world fell away. The sound of the rain pounding against the pavement was muffled, as if we were lost in our own little universe, a place untouched by time or reality. All thoughts, all worries evaporated like mist, leaving just the feel of him—us.

His lips moved against mine with a kind of tenderness that made my heart stutter, like he'd been waiting for this as long as I had. It was as though each kiss carried a silent promise. The raindrops slid down our faces, mixing with the heat of our skin, and it felt right—like the storm itself was rooting for us, draping us in its cold embrace while we burned in the middle of it.

His hands cradled my face so delicately, fitting there perfectly—naturally—as though we'd been sculpted to match each other. The warmth of his palms grounded me, even as my knees felt ready to give way under the weight of everything he made me feel.

And his lips... God, his lips. They were soft, impossibly soft, as though I'd finally found the place I was meant to be. Like they were spun from clouds, stitched together with every unspoken desire I'd ever had. Every gentle brush sent sparks along my skin, igniting a fire that I didn't want to put out.

The rain poured harder, soaking through our clothes, tangling in our hair, but I didn't care. I could have stayed there forever—wrapped in his arms, our bodies close, and our hearts speaking louder than any words ever could. For the first time in forever, it felt like nothing else mattered but him and me. Just us, against the world.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: at long last!!!

delphi's notes: everyone clap for eunjae 👏🥳

previous chapter next chapter: friday list of chapters here!

a/n: sorry for the mess up in the chapter order and late chapter i was travelling :(

l. all because i liked a boy

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FIFTY ─ all because i liked a boy.

❛ i still know you as that kind-hearted guy, but i know the way we're talking can't be fine ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

"Especially since Sunjae is going away today-"

"What?" I interrupted Yumi, feeling a pang in my chest the moment those words left her mouth, "What did you just say?"

Yumi's eyebrows furrowed. She had been spending a lot of time with the Taesung since they had started "dating"- which wasn't the best idea in my humble opinion, but I had more pressing matters on my mind now that college had started. As a result she would often hear things about Sunjae from him.

"Don't you know?" she asked, confused, "That Sunjae's going away?"

"What do you mean by going away?" I asked, feeling pathetic on hearing the panic in my voice, "Where is he going?"

"To America," she said slowly, "For rehab."

I felt my heart sink. I dug my fingernails into the palm of my hand, looking down, trying to blink away the tears forming in my eyes. It was incredibly foolish of me. I was tearing up thinking of the possibility of a guy going abroad. A guy who I had been hopelessly in love with for two years. I had never felt more pathetic.

"But, I'm not sure he's actually going because he-" Yumi tried consoling me, seemingly feeling guilty for speaking so carelessly.

"He should go," I said with a shaky voice, "That way, he'll never run into my dad. He'll be able to swim again. He'll be happier there. It all works out perfectly. America is safer for Sunjae than Seoul."

There was a long period of silence between us after I said that. The campus cafeteria was buzzing with gleeful chatter and the sound of steel utensils clanking against each other. I couldn't cry there. Not where so many people were watching.

"But he'll come back!" Yumi exclaimed, putting on a fake smile, but her furrowed brows gave her away, "He's not going forever. You'll see him again-"

"Oh, gosh, Yumi don't be so naive!" I said, my voice unbelievably high-pitched and defensive, "People who go abroad don't come back. You know that."

"But he-"

I stood up, picking up my plate before she could speak any further, "I'm not hungry," I muttered softly, not being able to speak normally, feeling a lump in my throat, "I'll see you at home."

I began walking back, my eyes fixed on the marble tiles. My vision blurred with tears and my heart felt as if it was being pricked by a million needles. Yet I kept walking, quickening my pace in desperation to go somewhere I could be alone. I kept my plate with half-eaten food near the counter and continued on my way out of the cafeteria, tears cascading down my cheeks I was almost out when I stopped in my tracks on seeing a pair of white shoes in front of me.

I looked up sharply, only to find none other than Sunjae staring down at me. His eyes went wide, probably confused on seeing my tear-stained face. Our eyes locked for a split second and I didn't dare open my mouth for fear of saying something impulsive again. In that fleeting moment, the world around melted away, muffling all other sounds except the sound of our breathing. I observed his eyes, how they focused on mine. I scanned his features, as if trying to memorize them for one last time. The perfect slope of his nose; I could still feel his pillowy lips when I decided to look away, and walk past him without a word.

Goodbye, Sunjae.

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

On my way to the cafeteria, I found myself running into Eunyoung. Her demeanor confused me to no end. Her head was hung low, with her eyes fixed on the ground and her hasty pace coming to a sudden halt on seeing me. And then when she looked up, the tears in her eyes that spilled down to her cheeks seemed to twist my heart in pain. Why did she look so heartbroken? Every part of me wanted to pull her in my embrace, but I held back. Her gaze met mine for a split second. Her eyes seemed to scan my face while I frowned in confusion. Then she looked in my eyes once again, as if for the last time, and then she proceeded to walk away all without uttering a single word.

All my hunger I felt previously seemed to melt away like snow on a sunny day and I went after her, breaking into a sprint. While I had stood there hesitating, she had disappeared into the crowd of college students. But my determination to find her and talk to her remained undeterred.

Stumbling out onto the pavement near the bus stop, I found her dragging her feet along the path, walking slowly, her steps short and slow. I ran to her and took a hold of her wrist, "Eunyoung!" She turned with hesitation, cautious and wary. Her eyes and nose had gone red and my heart ached to see her tear-stained face. Her lower lip trembled and her brows furrowed when she looked at me. When the bus made a great hissing sound she turned her attention to watch it drive away.

"I'm busy," she said with a eerie chill in her voice. Turning away, she walked off once more while I was left powerless, watching her disappear into the sea of people. Unwillingly, I began walking back to the school campus while a heartbreaking realization dawned upon me. I had lost Eunyoung, perhaps forever.

While this depressing monologue went on in my head, I heard someone call out my name. 

"Sunjae! God, I'm so-" Yumi exclaimed through shaky breath, and it seemed like she had been running, "I'm so glad I found you! Have you seen- have you seen Eunyoung?"

"Yeah, she was right here-" I pointed to the bus stop. But it was too late. Eunyoung was already getting onto the bus.

"You have to go after her!" Yumi urged, "I accidently told her that you were going-"

"Going where?" I asked impatiently, my voice laced with fear.

"America," she stated plainly, "Aren't you going today?"

"What?! No!"

"Shit," she cursed, "Anyways, you have to go! I don't know what crap it is that's stopping you from cutting the bullshit and being together, but I've had it! I'm not going to stand here and watch her cry like that for the rest of her life, so you better go and find her before I-"

I was already running towards home before she could finish what she was saying.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: they're getting their shit together in the next chapter i promise

delphi's notes: yumi has had enough lmfao

previous chapter next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xlviii. hopeless

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT ─ hopeless.

❛ i just woke up from a dream where you and i had to say goodbye ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"Sunjae," Inhyuk said to him while they were packing up, ready to leave.

(note- in this fic, both inhyuk and taesung attend yeonseo university with yumi and eunyoung -n.)

Sunjae, jumped a little and turned to look at him. He was still thinking of the kiss from the previous night, and his heart still fluttered as he remembered each and every detail...

"What?"

"I need to tell you something important," he began, looking suspicious.

Sunjae raised an eyebrow at him, "What is it?"

"Remember last night? I was helping you look for your shirt that got lost?" 

"And then I found you snoozing in your bed later?" reminded Sunjae with a spiteful yet playful scowl, "Yeah, I remember that."

"Sorry about that," Inhyuk said briefly, "But I have a reason."

"Is that so?"

"Yes," he replied, "When we got separated, I...  went looking for you, and well... I saw you. I saw you and Eunyoung near the stage."

Sunjae's eyes went wide, "How much did you see?"

"Enough."

There was an awkward silence between the boys that lasted for a few seconds. A blush of embarrassment rose up Sunjae's cheeks. "So... you know?"

"Yeah," Inhyuk replied, "I swear, when I saw the two of you I was so in shock that at first I couldn't move. Then I decided it would be best to get out of there."

Sunjae looked down and mumbled, "Yeah, that was probably wise."

Inhyuk couldn't help but laugh at his friend acting like a completely different person from the Sunjae he had always known. He elbowed him in the ribs and teased, "So~ things are going to start heating up for you now, huh?"

"Stop it," Sunjae said, turning away to hide his face that was a smiling, blushing mess.

As they made their way out of the tent, dragging their luggage along, they ran right into Eunyoung and Yumi, who were going to where the crowd of students gathered. Everyone let out expressions of surprise and murmured their greetings. Eunyoung's expression was unnaturally grave and serious when she looked at Sunjae and said, "Can we talk for a minute?"

Sunjae tried his hardest to suppress his smile when he answered, "Sure."

Following Eunyoung's rather hurried pace, Sunjae followed her to a clearing where no one was there to eavesdrop. She suddenly came to a halt and turned to look at him. Sunjae couldn't decipher her expression. It was a mix of irritation and shame and it made no sense to him.

"What's wrong?" he questioned with furrowed brows.

"I wanted to say sorry about last night," she started off. Sunjae's eyes widened. The truth was that it hurt every part of her being to tell him this, because she wanted to believe so badly that the events of the previous day meant something. But Eunyoung felt far too guilty about Sunjae's death to let herself think that. "I was really drunk last night and I did something so impulsive. It must have been uncomfortable for you, so I wanted to apologize. I'm really sorry, Sunjae. I hope you can pretend that it never happened."

With every word that Eunyoung spoke, he felt his heart twist and break into a million pieces before his eyes. His throat felt choked and the chilly mountain air started to slowly suffocate him. His entire body felt the shock on hearing her tell him it was all a mistake. His brain cursed at him for thinking someone as beautiful and perfect as Eunyoung could ever see him in that way. His feet felt rooted in the ground as he stood before Eunyoung, not daring to utter a single word.

After she had finished speaking, he stared at her face for a few moments quietly. Her hair framed her face, cascading down her shoulders in such a casual and effortless manner that took Sunjae's breath away. He gave himself a moment to think about how unfair it was that she looked like a fallen angel despite being hungover.

"If that's what you want," he murmured out, looking down at the ground to hide his teary eyes. He heard her footsteps as she walked away, the sound fading away into the distance as the tears cascaded down his face, not making a sound.

💿

"You're not sitting with your boyfriend?" Eunyoung asked Yumi who took the seat next to her on the train, "Or fake boyfriend, I should say."

"Keep your voice down," Yumi hissed, checking to see if anyone had heard her, "I haven't spoken to him since last night. I don't have the energy to deal with this right now."

Eunyoung let out a deep sigh, "Why have our love lives suddenly become so complicated?"

"It's all so overwhelming," Yumi nodded in agreement, "But you're acting so stupid. Why did you tell him to forget about it? Don't you like him?"

"I do, but-"

"Then, there! You have it!" Yumi exclaimed, "You like him, so what's the problem?"

"He never said he liked me back!" Eunyoung emphasized.

"Does he have to?" Yumi asked, feeling irritated at her ignorance, "Have you seriously never noticed how he looks at you? Like you're his whole world?"

"I can't let myself believe that," Eunyoung lowered her gaze, fixing her eyes at the blue carpeting below her feet, "The truck driver in Sunjae's accident was my dad."

"Oh," Yumi shrunk back. She reached for Eunyoung's hand, "Eunyoung..."

"It's my fault," she said, feeling her eyes well up with tears, "I was given the chance to protect him and I couldn't do it. I don't deserve him. I'd rather die in his place."

"You can still save him."

"What if I can't?"

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: depressing chapter ._.

delphi's notes: just eunyoung proving that love is deaf, dumb and blind

previous chapter next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xlix. drifting away

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE ─ drifting away.

❛ still want you all the time, still in a corner of my heart ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

A couple weeks after college lectures began, I felt as miserable as ever. It was as if I was living the same day over and over again. From the moment I opened my eyes, there was a throbbing pain in my head that weighed me down. As I went about my routine, I felt like a machine, soulless and mechanical. The feeling of regret had become increasingly oppressive, leaving my brain feeling foggy. I could feel a constant ache in my heart and my brain dwelled on my stupid, drunken actions.

Not only had I gone and confessed to Sunjae like an idiot, but I had also kissed him? I couldn't believe I had been so impulsive. Thinking about how uncomfortable he must have been made me want to bury my head in a hole in the ground. At the same time, I couldn't stop reminiscing on how magical the moment felt back then. His soft lips against mine, and the silent whisper of the crickets chirping on that chilly night; I could vividly remember the warmth of his body, and how it was like every inch of our bodies were meant to hold each other.

I had told myself a million times not to get worked up over a drunken kiss. I reminded myself several times that he hadn't said a word to me since I told him to forget about it. The logical part of me said that I did the right thing by apologizing, because in what universe would Ryu Sunjae like me? Yet, there was another voice in my head that said that he would have pushed me away of he didn't like me. There was something in the way he kissed me that I couldn't quite explain. Or maybe, I knew what it was, but admitting it meant that everything became real, and I don't think I was the least bit ready for it.

The truth was that in the fear of losing him, I had ended up pushing him further away from me. Maybe that was how it was meant to turn out all along. Maybe it was better this way. The further he stayed from me, the safer it was for him. My attention turned to the clock, and my movements became immediately hasty and panicked as I grabbed my bag and rushed out the door.

 Choi Yumi's Perspective

I dragged my feet along the pavement, my head hung and a yawn escaping my mouth. It wasn't even that early, yet I could already feel a strange sort of fatigue weighing me down. Ever since the field trip, I had spent several sleepless nights, contemplating everything that had happened. This third time travel had been the most eventful one by far, I realized. I would stare up that the ceiling in the middle of the night, millions of thoughts racing through my tangled head. 

I wondered what it all meant; Taesung offering to be my boyfriend to help me get rid of Minjun. Even after Minjun had given up on harassing me, Taesung and I were still "dating." Everyone knew about our "relationship" and the both of us agreed that it was best to put up a show for a while longer. But I couldn't help but wonder whether he had any ulterior motive in suggesting that?

Another thing that I couldn't stop thinking about was the way he had kissed me in front of the whole department. His touch, that felt demanding yet gentle at the same time, the sweet aftertaste of the kiss, and the distance between us that had finally disappeared for a few short, fleeting seconds, were all so vivid in front of my eyes. Every time the thought crossed my mind, I could practically feel his soft grip on my wrist, and the warmth in his touch that quieted all my fears. It was just for show, I told myself. But it all felt so real...

A high-pitched meow from somewhere in the  nearby bushes perked my attention as I followed the sound. I bent down when I saw a tiny, black kitten between the branches of a wild scrub that grew on the sidewalk. A smile surfaced on my face as I reached out a cautious hand to stroke it's little head. While I continued to pet it, I let out a chuckle as the kitten kept pushing it's head towards my hand every time I paused.

"Looks like you're having a good time."

I stood up abruptly on hearing Taesung's oh-so-familiar voice sound in my ears. For a good few seconds, I found myself staring at his face blankly. Somehow, I was always in awe of how good he looked, without trying at all. There hadn't been many moments him and I had spent alone since the field trip, and seeing him like this, outside school, with no one around made me feel oddly vulnerable and nervous.

"Where'd you come from?"

"That's not how you greet your boyfriend, now, is it?" he said cocking his head to a side, smirking. I scoffed at him.

"You're not really my boyfriend."

"For now I am," he argued.

"Only in front of others," I countered.

He went quiet for a couple moments, staring blankly at my face. I felt my cheeks heat up as the seconds passed by. I tried to distract myself by looking at the telephone pole behind him.

"How's your scar?" he asked suddenly, meeting my eyes, "Does it hurt anymore?"

I was definitely flustered, and muttered out some incoherent nonsense. He had never brought it up since we were in the hospital.

"What?"

"I said umm..." I said, trying to muster up some courage to answer him, "It doesn't hurt now, it's just there," I went quiet for a second and them asked, concerned, "How's your shoulder? Does it hurt anymore?"

"Nope," he said, putting on a fake brave face. But I could see the hurt behind his eyes, "It healed pretty quickly."

Seeing him trying to hide his pain made my heart ache like never before. Will things ever go back to the way they were?

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: eunyoung you blind fool get yourself some glasses-

delphi's notes: taesung in the header TT

previous chapter next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xlvi. intoxicating

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX ─ intoxicating.

❛ the taste of your lips is my idea of luxury ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Night had fallen on that obscure hillside hidden away in the middle of a forest. A chilling, cold stillness hung in the air, threatening to bite anyone who dared to step out. Even the never-ending buzz of the Yeonseo University students had died down, enveloping the place in complete silence. Everything went on within the tents- late night talks and hushed conversations. Outside, just the crickets chirped endlessly, singing their symphonies throughout the night. There were soft, warm, yellow fairy lights that gave a tender illumination to the campsite, just bright enough to make out vague shapes in the night.

Eunyoung sat on the makeshift stage, giggling to herself. Being really bad at drinking games, she had taken one too many shots and had gotten extremely drunk to the point where she didn't have any control over what she was doing or saying. Her mind fogged with confusion and uncertainty, yet she didn't move from her seat. Sunjae's jacket was now draped on her legs that shivered with the biting cold. She let out another soft giggle.

The sound of leaves crunching under someone's feet fell upon her ears and she became suddenly alert. The sound grew louder, as if someone was advancing towards her. Louder and louder, till a tall figure emerged through the darkness. It took a few moments for Eunyoung, in her drunken state, to figure out who it was. The dim glow of the fairy light helped her understand that she was looking at none other than Ryu Sunjae.

The sight of him seemed to sober her up momentarily. He was roaming about with no shirt or any clothing covering his upper body. She could only see him wearing black trousers in the barren cold of the night. Her gaze traced the contours of his upper body, lingering on every sharp definition and smooth curve carved by years of discipline. The play of light accentuated the ridges of his toned muscles, the strength in his broad shoulders, and the graceful taper of his torso. His arms were masterpieces that hung by the pockets of his trousers. Each line and shadow seemed sculpted, as if his body were a masterpiece crafted by the gods themselves. Her eyes followed the subtle shift of his muscles with every movement, captivated by him like never before.

Their eyes met, and there was a silent agreement between them. Sunjae's face flushed with warmth, feeling slightly embarrassed that she had seen him like that. Despite his embarrassment, he couldn't help but notice her shivering in the cold. Putting aside his own pain in the frosty air, he made his way to where she was sitting.

Eunyoung watched as he walked towards her, his figure becoming increasingly clear in the yellow light. She felt a kind of warmth creeping up her cheeks, which she wasn't in a state to decide whether it was because of all the soju in her system or because of the majestic man standing before her. She turned her head up to look into his beautiful, glass-like eyes. Her lips stretched into a smile, "Sunjae," she called out longingly.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked, frowning, his voice full of concern and worry, "It's freezing, why are you still here? Are you... drunk?" He cupped her face without thinking much of it and examined her flushed face and dazed eyes, "You are, oh god."

She pushed his hands away, confusing him even more. She pushed herself off the stage, standing to face him. He picked up the jacket that slipped onto the ground- his jacket. He noticed how she almost came up to his ears. She's so tall... He tied it around her waist as carefully as he could.

Eunyoung's unreadable expression perplexed him to no end. She gazed into his eyes for a long time, eventually smiling at his confusion. Her hand reached up to caress his face, feeling warmer than her hands that shivered in the cold. There was a new kind of bravery burning inside her. Her hand traced the definition on his shoulders, feeling his arms sculpted by endless hard work. Trailing down to his chest, and then his waist, her fingers lingering on his toned abs as she watched in wonder. Finally, in a delicate motion, her arms rested on the sides of his waist.

Every touch sent sparks flying across Sunjae's skin. His heart pounded in his ears. He'd never felt this way and he couldn't possibly put the feeling into words. Her chilly hands feeling up his body and fingers tracing every sharp edge and curve seemed to burst fireworks inside him. Their eyes locked in a split second, never looking away. This felt so right. His body fit perfectly in her hands- as if they were made only for each other.

"How could you be roaming around like that? What if someone else except me had seen you?" she asked, stepping closer to him. Her hands moved back up to his shoulders, one hand cupping his face. It took him a few seconds to realize that she was no longer looking into his eyes. Her gaze lingered on his pillowy lips.

"I can't believe you're so oblivious. You're beautiful. I like you, silly. More than anyone or anything else. You're all I want. Stay here with me, won't you?"

Those words were all he ever wished to hear from Eunyoung.

His eyes examined her features in the illumination of the dim fairy light. The slope of her nose that was unbelievably perfect, and her intoxicating gaze that stared right at his lips. And her glossy lips that seemed to shine even on that dark night and her radiant skin that seemed to have a soft glow through her flushed cheeks.

Before Sunjae had a chance to comprehend the situation, Eunyoung reached up and pressed her lips onto his. The kiss was like fireworks on new years day. He overcame the initial shock, giving in to her touch. His hands reached for her waist, pulling her closer. She pulled away for a few seconds to admire his face. The cold didn't seem to matter anymore while they held each other.

There was no need for words in that moment while he looked at her with a kind of hunger and longing in his eyes. Those two years of accidental touches and thoughtful actions dismissed as friendship had led up to this moment. She likes me. And I like her. Nothing else mattered to Sunjae. This was all he ever needed. All his self-doubt and negativity melted away into something insignificant.

He pulled her towards himself by her waist, kissing her lips harder than before. He could now feel the slight taste of her sweet lip gloss mixing with the intoxicating taste of alcohol as their lips moved against each others' without a care in the world. Eunyoung's hands roamed his back absent-mindedly, feeling the warmth of his body against her chilly hands that seemed to thaw at his touch. Feeling a tiny bit of his hand against an exposed part of her waist pulled her in deeper. The kiss seemed to make her sober for a moment, butterflies taking flight in her stomach just like the first time she laid her eyes on him.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: it took them forty six chapters but they finally did it

delphi's notes: who's gonna match eunyoung's freak?

previous chapter next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xlv. break free

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CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE ─ break free.

❛ have you ever had someone kiss you in a crowded room? ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

I leaned on the railing at the edge of the mountain, looking onto the scenery. Bright, blue skies with scanty clouds above, and a lush, green valley below. The air around me seemed to be cool and still, as if it was holding it's breath, waiting for something to happen. It tingled against my bare legs, stinging ever so slightly, making me reconsider my decision to wear a skirt. 

My feet remained rooted to the ground, but my mind wandered back to the future in 2023. It was a painful picture painted before my eyes, which I could see with a hurtful clarity in my mind. My warm hands holding Sunjae's hands, that had gone cold. How my heart ached to even think of it. And the doctor's formal sympathy while telling me he passed away...

"Eunyoung?" asked a soft, gentle voice behind me. I turned around, my face melting into a smile on seeing Sunjae looking at me with his earnest, beady eyes, "What're you doing out here? Everyone's sitting near that stage thing and chatting."

"I was just looking around," I told him. My silly heart begun beating faster as he came to stand beside me, looking at the scenery, admiring the miracle of nature. I turned to do the same, and strangely enough, it all looked much more beautiful with Sunjae by my side. My shivering had ceased, replaced with a comforting warmth. I felt the blood rushing into my cheeks when I realized he stood with his elbows resting on the fence, just like mine, just close enough to touch.

"It's so beautiful," I breathed out.

"It is," I heard him say. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I turned to see him looking right at me. I could hear the thumping of my heart in my head like a steady drum beat. Goosebumps erupted on my skin. 

Can I really let myself believe this? After all that has happened? It all felt like a dream.

"Aren't you cold?"

"I am, but it's o-"

Before I could finish talking, he began taking off the jacket draped around his shoulders. I went completely, silent, watching him in awe. Had he always been this thoughtful? Nothing felt real. He leaned towards me, ever so slowly, maintaining minimal distance while he gently tied his jacket around my waist. His face nearly touched mine, and I could feel his breath on my cheeks. That was the closest I had ever come to exploding on the spot.

"You're going to feel cold," I said, my voice barely a whisper.

"I'll be fine," he assured me with his dimpled smile.

How was I supposed to say no to that?

Narrator's Perspective

A few hours after arriving at the field trip destination, the entire area was buzzing with excitement. The sunset was as early as half past five; Once the place was enveloped in the darkness of the night, no one had felt so alive. There was a joyful chatter in every tent, students talking, getting to know each other, playing drinking games. Some had promptly gotten drunk already, making fools out of themselves while it entertained those around them.

Meanwhile, Yumi had finally had just about enough of Minjun's antics. He was definitely a stubborn fellow. "Doesn't he have anyone else to bother?!" she yelled out to no one in particular. To her surprise, her prayers were answered.

"What's the matter?" asked Taesung, who had overheard her desperate pleas.

Yumi stared at him blankly for a few moments. Unable to hold herself back in frustration, she blurted out, "Oh, you have no idea! Minjun sunbaenim won't leave me alone. Doesn't he have the brains to understand that I'm not interested?! Is he retarded or what? Can't he just leave me alone?! It's driving me insane!"

Taesung stared at her, blinking his eyes rapidly as if to process all that she had said at record speed. The truth was, that avoiding her all these weeks had been absolute torture for him. Yumi had been such a significant part of his life, and then suddenly, she wasn't. At this point, he was willing to do anything to be around her. And seeing her uncomfortable and distressed because of some guy made his insides burn with rage.

"I'll help you," he declared decisively.

"Help? Not even god can help me," she sighed, "How do you plan on doing it?"

"I'll be your boyfriend."

Those four words were immediately effective in snapping Yumi out of her frustrated and angry state to a state of awe. She stared at him agape, trying to figure out the meaning behind those words. Boyfriend; the word echoed over and over in her mind.

"What?!" she blurted out a bit too loudly. Some people turned to stare at them. Taesung held her wrist with a surprisingly soft and gentle touch and took her behind a tent where they could talk in peace.

"I didn't mean it like that," he said in a hopeless attempt to defend himself. He did, in fact mean exactly what he said. It was just that he chickened out and now was trying to cover up, "I meant I'll pretend to be your boyfriend till the crackpot leaves you alone."

The offer was too tempting. "Deal," Yumi breathed out.

💿

"Can't I take a shot as a punishment instead?" Yumi pleaded.

"Nope!" said the game organizer, "You have to!"

"I'll take two shots," Yumi made him a counteroffer, "Please!"

"Not at all," he said, refusing to settle, "Don't be a spoil sport!"

Yumi heaved a sigh of annoyance. Not only had she gotten dragged into a drinking game by one of the girls from her department, but the game also happened to be spin the bottle. Yumi wondered why, out of all the weird Korean drinking games, they decided on spin the bottle? And now she had to kiss Minjun. It felt so terribly unfair that she was about to lose her first kiss to him. 

As they both stood up, Yumi with hesitation and Minjun with eagerness that was uncomfortable, everyone began clapping and jeering with excitement. Why did they like watching people suffer?

Looking into Minjun's eyes with all the hatred in her body, she took a deep breath. "It doesn't even matter," she told herself, "Let's just get this over with."

Just as their lips were about to meet, sealing the moment forever, Yumi felt someone's grip on her wrist that made her stop immediately. Her wrist was caught mid-motion, the unexpected hold halting her in her tracks. The grip was firm, commanding her attention, yet impossibly gentle, as if afraid to harm her. She turned sharply, startled, and her breath caught as her gaze met Taesung's. His eyes held hers for a brief, electrifying moment—dark and intense, a silent storm brewing in their depths.

Before she could speak, before she could even fully process, she felt his lips crash onto hers, silencing every thought and scattering every word she might have said. The kiss was bold and unyielding, yet it carried an undercurrent of tenderness that left her breathless.

Her entire body ignited, a wave of warmth sweeping over her as if she were standing too close to the sun. It was a sensation unlike anything she had ever known—a perfect collision of chaos and calm. Instinctively, she leaned into him, surrendering to the moment, letting herself be swept away. His hand slid up to cradle the back of her neck, his fingers threading gently through her hair, grounding her amidst the whirlwind. His other hand rested lightly on her waist, the touch feather-soft yet searing, as if it left an imprint on her very soul.

Her heart pounded wildly, a frenzied rhythm that echoed in her ears, and she wondered if he could feel it, too. His lips were impossibly soft, softer than she had dared to imagine, their every movement deliberate, intoxicating, as though he were memorizing her with each kiss.

The world around them seemed to dissolve, its sounds and sights fading into oblivion until all that remained was the two of them, locked in this timeless moment. The press of his body against hers, the heat of his touch, the magnetic pull between them—it was everything, consuming her entirely.

Every fear, every doubt, every restraint she had ever held onto melted away. In his arms, she felt weightless, free, as though nothing else mattered but this—their shared breath, their entwined hands, and the unspoken emotions that passed between them like a secret only they could understand.

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nana's notes: bet you didn't see that coming

delphi's notes: FINALLYYYYYYYYY

next chapter: saturday list of chapters here!

xlii. piercing through my soul

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CHAPTER FORTY-TWO ─ piercing through my soul.

❛ i wanna hold you just for a while

and die with a smile ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

The chatter and buzz in the interview room rekindled after the cameraman's "Cut!" People switching off all the extra studio lights, packing up their things and chatting with each other. The tense atmosphere that previously hung over the room while the filming was ongoing was replaced with a new friendliness and lightheartedness. Words of encouragement and several people saying "Good job!" seemed to raise everyone's spirits. 

I heaved a quiet sigh the moment the cameras were out. During the interview, I felt as if I had been holding my breath the whole time. Never in my career of doing interviews for famous, influential personalities had I ever felt so nervous. At the same time, I knew I was obviously holding myself back. Every cell in my body wanted to drop all formalities and throw my arms around him and tell him how glad I was to see him. 

His experience writing 'Sonaki' was something that pricked me from inside. His words constantly echoed inside my mind. He met her on a rainy day. It was dangerously similar to how I met Sunjae. A part of me- the hopeful part, wanted to believe desperately that it was me. Despite wanting to hold onto the hope, an anxious and worried voice inside me told me not to get excited over it. It was too good to be true. Him writing a poetic masterpiece about his first love who was none other than me? It sounded impossible. I was also afraid. Afraid of being wrong after thinking it was about me. At the end of the day, I'm nothing more than his fan. And to him, all he's going to remember me is as a distant memory from his teenage years.

I gave in to all my temptations as I stole a glance at Sunjae, sitting across from me rummaging through his bag and talking about something or the other with his manager. I nearly smiled seeing his relaxed posture and radiant glow. Something about him had changed in the best way possible. He looked happy, and that was enough for my heart to be content. For a split second, our eyes met and I tore away forcefully and unnaturally, probably making a fool out of myself. It was too much. Seeing him again uprooted so many repressed feelings.

Soon, he was telling his manager to go on without him and saying that he would be out soon. Watching his manager leave the room, I found myself thinking- Am I really going to be here alone with him? It hadn't even been that long since I'd last seen him, yet my heart pounded in my ears like a thousand drums.

"Hey," he began once he was sure everyone was gone. I nearly jumped out of my skin hearing his voice, "It's been a while, huh? How've you been?"

"Hi," I answered with a small smile. So he remembers me... "Yeah, it's been ages. I've been good. How 'bout you? How's everything?"

"Good, you know. Life's full of surprises," he answered, smiling.

"That's nice to know; You...look... good- like you've been well," I stuttered like an idiot, "This is awkward, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he agreed, sounding disappointed, "It's been too long, I guess."

"Yeah."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air as we both looked here and there, thinking hard about what to say next. It seemed like both of us had a hundred thoughts racing through our minds, but no words nor courage to express them.

"You don't have any like... illness or anything lately, do you?" I asked slowly, afraid of the answer.

"No, not at all," he answered, sounding confused.

"I read some of the articles you wrote," he said after a few more moments of silence.

"About Eclipse?" I asked, sounding a bit too eager.

"Yeah," he replied, fidgeting with his clothes, "And other things. Your writing's as good as ever."

"Thanks," I cracked a real smile, "Should we go? Your manager must be waiting."

"Yeah."

We made our way through the door and into the elevator. I had never realized that our building elevator had no mirror. Or music. I stared at the ground, soaking in all the silence between us. The awkwardness sent a chill down my spine. I wanted to do something. I wanted to tell him that I missed him. But that would make things even more awkward and I would die of embarrassment.

Gosh, were elevator rides here always so insufferable?

The elevator finally stopped at the ground floor after what felt like a million years, and we exited the building, still completely quiet. Standing on the pavement looking onto the highway, I looked up at Sunjae, who was already looking. My face felt hot as I forgot what I was about to say.

"So this is it?" he said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"We should keep in touch this time," I blurted out too quickly. Why was I so jittery? "You can get my number from your manager."

"Yeah, let's do that," he said with a smile, finally showing his beautiful dimples. I returned his smile, feeling my heart swell up at the very sight of a happy Sunjae.

"My manager's car is over there across the street," he said, looking at the black car parked on the other side of the road, "I'll see you?"

"You will," I said with conviction, the smile never leaving my face.

I watched as the made his way across the zebra crossing, going further away, but in that moment, he felt the closest that evening. The soft glow of the streetlamp and the dim starlight seemed to give me a glimmer of hope. That this was the beginning of something new. Something special. Then, as if to throw water over all my happiness, I loud crashing sounded, like a huge truck suddenly stopping. My eyes went wide as my body seemed to freeze from shock. I felt my blood go cold.

Time seemed to splinter into fragments, each one more agonizing than the last, as I watched the massive, green truck barrel forward, unstoppable. There was a horrid screeching of brakes, but it was too late—the impact was thunderous, like the world cracking open right before my eyes. Sunjae's body collided with the force of the vehicle, a sickening blur of motion as he was thrown to the ground, his form limp and unmoving.

A piercing cry escaped my throat, one I barely recognized as my own. My chest constricted, an unbearable ache tearing through me as if the impact had shattered not only him but every part of me, too. For a brief, surreal moment, I couldn't move; I was paralyzed, bound by the horror of what I'd just witnessed, by the helplessness sinking like iron into my bones.

I stumbled forward, heart hammering wildly, tears blurring my vision as I rushed toward him. "Sunjae!" I cried, my voice trembling, desperate. My knees hit the ground beside him, the unforgiving pavement scraping through the fabric of my jeans, but I barely registered the sting. All I could see was his stillness, his face pale and serene in a way that frightened me more than any amount of pain ever could.

A sob broke free, raw and guttural, as I reached for his hand, cold and heavy in mine. Memories flooded my mind—his laughter, his warmth, the look in his eyes when he talked about the future, a future I suddenly couldn't see. It was slipping from me, unraveling like sand through my fingers, and I was powerless to stop it. The sight of him lying there, broken, filled me with a heartbreak so deep I felt hollowed out from within. I could feel my heart shattering, piece by piece, each shard lodging painfully within me.

"Please...please, Sunjae," I whispered, voice breaking as I clutched his hand, unable to stop my tears. The world had collapsed around us, reduced to this one horrible moment, to the unbearable thought of losing him.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: sunjae's death breaks me in every timeline.

delphi's notes: here we go again.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xli. threads of fate and regret

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CHAPTER FORTY-ONE ─ threads of fate and regret.

❛ you stood there in front of me, just close enough to touch ❜

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

Fireworks seemed to go off inside me when I walked into the interview room. A wave of deja vu hit me when the rapid thumping of my heart sounded in my ears just like the first time I found out that Eunyoung was going to interview me. Since the time I started preparing to release 'Sonaki,' all my past feelings slowly began resurfacing. I could envision myself, a lovestruck nineteen year old sitting in my bedroom and writing the song, thinking of Eunyoung and occasionally gazing at her window that was just in front of mine. I kept telling myself that it was just a memory in the past. I couldn't accept the fact that my feelings were exactly the same after fifteen long years.

It felt quite pathetic, to be honest. To think that I spent two years with her by my side, and still never had the guts to tell her how I felt filled me with insurmountable regret. I would have given anything to go back in time and hold on to her. 

Sitting across from her, responding to each question with careful, practiced formality, felt like the most challenging task of my entire career. With every carefully measured word, I felt my resolve slipping, as though the years we spent apart had only heightened this ache within me. It took every ounce of restraint not to close the distance between us, to forget the cameras and the professionalism and tell her just how much I'd missed her.

As I spoke about the song, Sonaki, describing it simply as a memory from my youth, my heart pounded with the urge to reveal the truth. There was a cruel irony in it all, sitting there explaining how the song was about my first love while she remained unaware that she was the muse behind every line, the inspiration behind every note. She was still, unknowingly, my everything.

In my mind, I could see myself breaking the silence, confessing it all—how she had stayed with me, haunting my every step and shaping every melody I'd written since. But in reality, I remained stoic, carefully choosing my words, my gaze avoiding her eyes for fear of giving it all away.

"I used to be a competitive swimmer back in high school. I remember despising it whenever it rained on my way home after a long day of training. But the day I met her was a rainy day. After that day, I mysteriously found myself unable to hate the rain any longer. It was magical, unlike anything I had experienced before," I said, pouring my heart out.

"That's such a beautiful way of expressing your feelings. I'm sure whoever she is would be touched to know it."

"Actually I never got a chance to express my feelings," I confessed with an embarrassed chuckle, "It was an unrequited love."

Choi Yumi's Perspective

I sat nervously shaking my leg in the police station. I had caved and agreed to meet Taesung to help him. The truth was that I wanted to understand him. I wanted to believe more than anything that he was innocent; And if I had the power to prove that he was, then I wanted to pour my heart into this case and win at any cost.

Taesung emerged from behind one of the doors, being dragged by one of the police officers who clutched his jacket with a death grip. The nostalgia was way too obvious for me to ignore. I found myself remembering the last time I saw him sitting across me. His hair was no longer wild and crazy like back then, but a sort of mischief shone in his eyes. A smirk that seemed to ridicule the man dragging him was plastered across his face.

The two sat down across from me, the man glaring at Taesung. For a good few moments I found myself staring at Taesung. Despite the dull, muted tones that replaced his bright biker jackets, he still looked as good as the first day I encountered him outside the music club. I found it quite unfair that I looked like a Tim Burtons character while he looked ready to start a photoshoot.

"So, you're going to help me or not?" he asked right away.

"Depends," I said skeptically, "How exactly did you get yourself into this mess?"

"I have no idea."

"You have to answer seriously or I can't help you."

"So if I answer seriously you'll help me?"

"Just answer the damn question," I sighed, realizing he was just as petty and childish as before, "I haven't got all day."

"My bad," he cleared his throat, "So you know my father is a detective in the Violent Crimes Division, right?"

"Yeah," I replied, feeling curious and anxious at the same time.

"One day he had to go to one of the places where Kim Youngsoo was allegedly hiding. But he suddenly fell sick that day. 102 degree fever; And look, I'm not the biggest fan of my dad, but I couldn't let him go there like that. That's why I went in his place. Then the guy who was supposed to be there with him never showed up."

"That's quite the story."

"I'm not done," he said, "I completed the investigation like he told me to, and I brought the report home. He gave it to the higher ups and everything was fine for a couple of days. Later, we found out that he messed up the dates and the other guy went the day after that. That's when they found my fingerprints all over the place. I tried to explain this to them but they refused to believe me and now I'm here. They don't believe my dad either."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: writing sunjae's pov made me sob he loves her so much T_T when will it be my turn...

delphi's notes: leave it up to taesung to get into that kind of mess 👏

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here

xxxix. looking back

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE ─ looking back.

❛ i vowed i would always be yours if we survived the great war ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

"Yumi!"

A jarring, familiar voice jerked me awake, pulling me back to reality. The moment I opened my eyes, the first thing I was met with was my reflection in the black computer screen. I found myself staring at it for a few seconds. The bags under my eyes had become severe again, my skin dull and distressed. The pile of papers and files on the desk in front of me finally made me realize that I was no longer at home, chatting with Eunyoung, but I was at work, at the law firm.

My tired eyes shifted to the person knocking at my door. It was Yunhee, my colleague who worked with me often. I gave her a slow nod as she pushed the glass door of my office open and letting herself in.

"God, Yumi, when was the last time you slept?" she said, sitting down on the chair on the other side of my desk.

I sighed as if to say "Don't even ask."

"Are you here to nag?" I asked simply, running a hand down my face, blinking rapidly in attempt to keep my eyes open, "Because if you are, you better turn around."

"Attorney Kwon is looking for you, and he looks pissed, so you better get on it," she informed matter-of-factly, "He'll be here any minute, actually." She glanced at her watch briefly, then said a quick goodbye and dashed out the door.

My eyes wandered around, scanning my office that had a sense of familiarity that made me feel nauseous. A couple of lights, wooden floors and a huge window behind me. My desk sat in the very middle of the room, looking like a toddler's craft table, with loose sheets flying everywhere. This particular time, coming back to the future felt even more horrible than before. Disappointment weighed me down as I realized how I had done nothing to change Taesung's fate. Reliving graduation was something I didn't know I needed, and I had momentarily felt my heart lighten up. But that moment during my speech...

The sound of Attorney Kwon shoving my office door and barging into my office cut off my thoughts before I could let them spiral. His flushed face, frowning brows and ears that seemed to have steam coming out from them, made me slightly frightened as I shifted uncomfortably in my chair.

"Yes, Attorney Kw-"

"What the hell's going on with the defamation case?!" he demanded, "For God's sake, everyone's talking about the scene Hajun caused in court yesterday! How could you be so careless? Despite being his senior!"

I felt the itch in me to fight back and argue, but knowing me, it would probably cost me my job, so all I said to him was, "Sorry, sir. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."

"You better!" he snapped, before seeing himself out, muttering under his breath.

A sigh of absolute exhaustion left my mouth as I rested my head on my desk. Running my fingers through my hair, I pondered on how pathetic my life had been. Even after getting not one, but two chances to go back into the past, I had changed nearly nothing. My life had become even more miserable, with the added regret that I felt for not being able to do anything differently. For letting opportunities slip away while I sat around like an idiot. Looking back on everything that had happened, I realized that not only had I ruined my own life, but I had also dragged someone down with me. Someone I loved.

💿

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

"Interview with Ryu Sunjae?" I repeated the words that sounded in my ears like an echo of my undeniable love for Sunjae. Just a moment ago, I had been dozing off at my desk, but hearing those words from the head of entertainment department, I felt suddenly awake and alert. I stole a quick look at the calendar on my desk; It read 2nd January, 2023. I had to bite back the gasp that almost left my mouth. He was alive. His fate had changed. The very thought of it made me want to break into tears of pure relief and happiness. It made me want to run through the streets, screaming from joy.

"Yeah, I recommended your name for it," Seoyoon said to me as I realized my celebrations would have to wait. "I just need your confirmation, so it becomes official. Though, if you're not up for it, there are plenty of people willing to do it. I just thought you would like something like this, you know-"

"I'll do it," I blurted out hastily, my voice practically trembling with excitement.

"Great! Just sign here," she handed me a paper. As I scribbled my signature on the piece of paper, my stomach filled with butterflies just like the very first time I met Sunjae. He had signed my CD, and our fingers brushed ever so slightly- and I thought I would explode right there like some sort of nuclear bomb. He was alive. The seemingly stupid paper airplane trick had done it's magic.

I handed the paper to Seoyoon, beaming. She seemed to notice my newfound enthusiasm, and smiled back. "You know, Miss Choi, some of us found that old article you wrote about the swim team of Jagam High School. I hope you don't mind me asking, but is it really you? Did you go to school with the Ryu Sunjae?"

"Yes, it's true," I answered with a chuckle, "It's amazing how you found that. It's been- what? Fifteen years? I was on the newspaper and I was assigned the interview, and that's when I realized how good I was at it- if I do say so myself."

"That's incredible, Miss!" she exclaimed, "No wonder everyone at the office looks up to you. I have to get going, but you're such an inspiration."

"Oh, you're too kind," I smiled, feeling warmth bloom in my heart.

Choi Yumi's Perspective

Leaving the courtroom, feeling as if the very life had been sucked out of me, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Puzzled, I took it out, wondering who would be calling me at that hour when I was just going home. Slightly annoyed, I sat down on one of the benches nearby, only to find it to be an unknown contact. My movement was full of hesitation as I accepted the call.

"Hello, Choi Yumi speaking."

"I need a lawyer."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: y'all have no idea what's coming 🫢

delphi's notes: yumi's dark circles making a comeback

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxxvii. home is where the heart is

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN ─ home is where the heart is.

❛ i know it's always about me, i love you, i'm sorry ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

Every cell in my body seemed to be screaming at me to run. To go back home. But, somehow I felt like my feet were rooted to the ground as I stood in the deserted playground. A tall streetlight peered over the area, which was the only source of illumination on that moonless night. The stars had disappeared from the sky, as if to express their disapproval at my irrational decision. I wasn't able to control myself. I had let my curiosity get the better of me, and I had showed up at the spot my father decided would be our meeting spot.

I wanted to believe so badly that he had changed. That he was trying to set things right. There was a part of me that wanted to meet him and tell him that I missed him. And that if he wanted to come back, I would let him. I wanted to believe that I was worthy, and maybe I could finally have a proper family in the stereotypical way. I had spent my entire life watching kids get treated with love and care by their fathers, and not once had I experienced such a bond.

Then, I spotted him. His face had weathered and become worn due to time, but it was undoubtedly him. Chiseled, sharp features with curly, messy hair that hung around his eyes. His previously clean shaven face had now grown a beard. He flashed a smile, approaching me and siting down on the bench next where I was standing.

"You've grown up so well," he whispered.

The pride in his voice made my heart swell with a strange kind of warmth. "Mom did a good job, huh?"

"That, she did," he agreed, the weary smile on his face never ceasing. It was then that I noticed the bags under his eyes.

"You seem tired," I observed, worried.

"It's nothing," he said rather abruptly. The smile suddenly fell from his face and his blinking gaze wandered, pretending to scan their surroundings. I found his sudden shift in behavior quite strange, and a confused frown formed on my face. He turned to me again, but didn't look in my eyes.

"Eunyoung, actually," He began, rubbing his hands against each other, thinking of what to say.

"What is it?"

"I have a favor to ask you," he mumbled out, but Eunyoung heard his voice sound loud and clear, ringing in her ears, "I'm actually in a lot of debt right now. I can barely afford my rent, and everything is falling apart. If you could just talk to your mother and convince her-"

"Stop!" I cried out, my voice shaking with rage and disappointment. My eyes burned with tears and I had to gather all my strength to speak, "Just- just, shut up. I should have known. Why else would you come back? Have you ever stopped to think how much damage you caused? You can't just waltz back into our life and expect that we'll welcome you with open arms. I was the idiot to believe anything you said. Just, get lost, I swear!"

"But Eunyoung, we're family?"

"Family?" I repeated, my voice trembling, as tears began spilling out of my eyes, "You don't get to call me or mom your family. You lost that privilege the moment you packed your bags and left home."

He opened his mouth to spit out another pathetic excuse, but I had finally had enough. I bolted out of there, mustering all the willingness inside me to get away from him. The tears spilled out uncontrollably, blurring my vision as my legs propelled me forward in the direction of home.

 💿

Even as I reached Sunjae's dad's restaurant, I couldn't stop crying. All my hopes had been shattered by my father's careless words and demeanor. I heaved another heavy sob, that choked up my throat and made my heart ache with uncontrollable sorrow. 

Instead of going home, I went the opposite way, stopping near a wall where I was sure no one I know could find me. My knees feeling suddenly weak and wobbly, I sat down right on the pavement and buried my head in my knees. I felt my tears soak my pants but none of that mattered then. My weeping sounded too loud in the deserted alleyway as I started to feel physical pain too. I couldn't believe I had been naive enough to fall into such a trap. Even after my mother warned me...

"Eunyoung?" the oh-so-familiar voice sent a jolt through my body as I raised my head slowly, trying to make sure I heard correctly. I was right. There I was, face to face with a concerned Sunjae looking at me with furrowed brows and glassy eyes full of worry and confusion. I suddenly felt embarrassed; Ashamed that he had to see me like this- falling apart. I stood up hastily, trying to hide my face and blink away my tears.

"Sunjae..." Another sob choked me as the words refused to roll off my tongue. He seemed to understand in that moment. Slowly, he moved towards me and reached out his hand to pull me by the waist into his warm embrace. My tears nearly evaporated as heat crept up my face. My head rested gently on his shoulder as I soaked up all the comfort he gave me. His grip around my waist tightened as I felt his hand caress my head.

Sunjae seemed to have this superpower whenever he was around. All my worries would warp and dissolve into nothingness and my heart would instantly lighten. Every little touch sent sparks flying across my skin, making me feel giddy but at the same time compelling me to give in. Around him, I wasn't afraid to be vulnerable. My trust for him was like an instinct I couldn't fight no matter how much I tried. That was probably why, before I could comprehend what was happening, the moment his caring voice asked, "What's wrong?" I poured my heart out, never letting go of him.

The whole time I spilled my greatest worries out to him, he never let go of my heart. His firm yet gentle grip offered solace I didn't believe anyone could give. 

"Seeing someone as optimistic and cheerful as you cry is heartbreaking, Eunyoung. He doesn't deserve your tears. Focus your energy on those you love. And on those who love you."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: the way sunjae basically said i love you-

delphi's notes: everyone deserves a sunjae in their lives

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxxvi. those eyes

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX ─ those eyes.

❛ we got nothing else to do, and nothing else to lose ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

Time seemed to be rolling by as I tried my best to help Sunjae with algebra. His dread had considerably reduced, and I thought it was good enough. I had given him a few problems to solve on his own, and I was sitting with my back turned to him. I couldn't help but stare at the pictures on the shelf of Sunjae at his swimming tournaments. So many of them decked the walls. It made me realize just how huge his swimming career must have been. I could almost feel his hurt when he was forced to quit. It filled me with a strange determination and protectiveness. I wanted to save him so desperately.

Then there were other, rather trivial and silly thoughts racing through my mind. Even with wet hair sticking to his face, he looked as handsome as ever. The teenager inside me seemed to be staring at his astonishing figure. I had never realized how incredible his proportions were. Wide shoulders with a torso that tapered towards the waist. I quickly looked away, hot-faced.

I shifted my gaze to my bedroom window which I could see from Sunjae's window. They were so close by. My mind couldn't fathom how all these years, I had been so close to Sunjae; If I had just opened my eyes and sought him out...

Fate had brought us together by some miracle that even I couldn't explain. It was magic. Like some kind of supernatural forces were working to bring us closer. My heart yearned to hold onto the hope that destiny would do it's part and Sunjae would get the happy ending he deserved. Every night was me shutting down the self-doubt that I didn't have the power to change anything.

My eyes fell on the clock, and that was when I realized we had been studying for more than two hours. I quickly shifted back to where Sunjae was sitting, and found him sleeping silently with his head resting on his hands. A smile surfaced on my face. You've worked hard, Sunjae. I placed my two hands on the space next to him and rested my head in a way that I could look at him. My eyes examined his features, as if I was trying to memorize every little detail on his face. His eyes were shut softly, his face showing no signs of discomfort or pain. This is how I wished him to be forever. At peace. The moment my gaze landed on his lips, it was as if a magnetic force prevented me from looking away. Perfect, pillowy... they looked so soft. My mind wandered back to the time we had almost kissed- maybe that was my imagination? I had no idea.

Then, his eyes opened slowly, blinkingly. I was taken aback, but I remained motionless, unable to divert my gaze. At first, I witnessed a confusion in his eyes and then we seemed to melt into each other's gaze. In that moment, our eyes seemed to be delivering professions of love our mouths could never have the courage to voice.

To shatter the moment, the turn of the doorknob sounded in the room, and we weren't nearly quick enough to pull away when Sunjae's dad entered the room. We were suddenly jerked awake, back to reality in an instant. I sat up completely straight, blinking rapidly. 

"Oh, dear, I'm sorry, I-" Sunjae's dad trailed off, a smirk appearing on his face. He backed away, closing the door, leaving me and Sunjae in a state of awkwardness.

"Talk about bad timing," Sunjae muttered, in response to which Eunyoung forced out a chuckle. Did he really have to walk in at that moment? 

"I should get going then," I said, rubbing the back of my neck and gathering my books, "It's been, what, two hours? Let's continue next time?"

"Yeah," he said. Neither of us seemed to know what to say or how to act, "What about the practice problems?"

"Homework?"

He laughed, and it almost sounded genuine. I smiled at him.

"Thanks," he called out just as I was leaving, following me down the staircase, "Thanks for doing this for me."

"Anytime."

When we came down to the living room, it was almost as if his dad had been waiting, smirking this whole time. I didn't have it in me to say anything to him, so I gave him a quick bow as I made my way to the front door, Sunjae close behind me. Just before I went home, our eyes met once again. Our lips stretched into a smile, as if it was instinct. And then I was off. 

Despite my evident embarrassment, the moment in Sunjae's room had made one thing astonishingly clear. I was in love with Ryu Sunjae, and there was no going back.

💿

On reaching home, I was met with a full on interrogation by my mother. Her flushed face and eyes wide with rage made me realize that she must have fought with Yumi. A sense of guilt washed over me because I couldn't help Yumi as much as I hoped to.

"Where were you?" she asked me, her voice irritable.

"I was at Sunjae's house," I explained calmly, "I'm helping him study."

She went quiet, and sat down on the couch. I took the seat beside her and grabbed her hand, "It's not Taesung's fault, you know," I said gently.

"I know..." she whispered.

💿

I sat in my room, deep in thought as my mind replayed todays events over and over. I had the most trivial anxieties racing through my brain. I sat staring at Sunjae's window, trying to make sense of the mess in me. I could practically see Sunjae's eyes staring into mine. I didn't want to get my hopes up by thinking that Sunjae replicated my feelings. At the same time, the fear of losing him crept in my mind, gnawing on my self- doubt.

I scribbled another note on a piece of paper- "If you ask for flowers, don't be surprised if it starts to rain. The hardships you're facing are only temporary. Happier days are coming."

The moment after the paper airplane landed on Sunjae's window, my phone buzzed, interrupting my train of thoughts. It was a text message from my father.

Eunyoung, I want to meet you, I've missed you.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: this chapter was a whole rollercoaster ride tbh

delphi's notes: someone check on yumi pls

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxxv. tunnel vision

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE ─ tunnel vision.

❛ we got nothing else to do, and nothing else to lose ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Eunyoung stood at Sunjae's doorstep, her backpack hanging from one shoulder as her legs shook nervously. The truth was that she was so insanely anxious. It was a foreign feeling to Eunyoung who tends to look at the positive aspect of every situation. But her stupid little crush on Sunjae had her considering all the horrible possibilities by which she could screw up. What if she stuttered and stammered like an idiot? What if she was too distracted and couldn't help Sunjae at all? All these trivial matters occupied her mind as she fidgeted with her clothes.

She then remembered the previous night...

Eunyoung paced around her room biting her lip in frustration. After all the lengths she went to to prevent Sunjae's death, nothing had changed in the future. He was still dead. And time was running out. Depression. Suicide. These words rang in her mind in an endless loop. They made her heart twist and ache unbearably. What could he possibly have been going through for him to make such a decision? 

Fear crept in her mind. The future seemed to be advancing like a hungry beast, ready to take Sunjae away from her once again. Then, all of a sudden, like a light had been turned on in her brain, she had an idea. Her eyes shifted to her window, which was facing Sunjae's. His window was open, and no one seemed to be there inside. 

She scrambled through her drawers and pulled out a blank, blue sheet.

"I know life's tough sometimes. It feels like everything is falling apart and the world has turned it's back. But you need to hold on to hope. Lean on your loved ones. Because they're the ones who are always rooting for you."

She poured her heart out onto the paper and made a bunch of  folds. Eunyoung herself was amazed at her memory and at how her mind suddenly pulled out everything she learnt from some random origami workshop she attended. Everything had gone through one ear and come out through another. But, somehow she seemed to remember just one thing. Paper airplanes. Destiny had been working in strange ways, leading her to Sunjae.

Then, she did one of the most irrational things in her life. She leaned on her window sill and threw the paper airplane as she watched it land inside his house.

Taking in a deep breath, Eunyoung reached out and rang the doorbell. She waited before the blue gate till Sunjae's father emerged from the main entrance of their house and approached her with a wide, toothy grin. Eunyoung returned his smile. It had been a while since she had seen his father and she was glad to see his warm greeting.

"Oh, come in, dear," he said, unlatching the front door.

As they stepped into the house, her father motioned her to sit down. Sitting down on the little sofa in the center of their living room. It was a cozy little dwelling, with warm lamps and light bulbs and a brown carpet lying across the floor.

"So, Eunyoung," his father began, "What brings you here?"

"I'm here to help Sunjae with math," the moment those words fell out of Eunyoung's mouth, Sunjae's father's expression suddenly turned grave. She chuckled at the worry on his face.

"Ah, yes," he said, sounding embarrassed, "It is quite a... ehh... shameful thing. He got an earful from me already."

"Nothing to worry about, really," she said with a small laugh, "He'll catch up soon."

"Well, if there's anyone who can help him, it's you!"

While Eunyoung's ears turned red at Sunjae's blind faith in her abilities, she heard a thudding as Sunjae's tall figure emerged from a flight of stairs. He was dressed in simple, black track pants and a navy blue tshirt, and yet Eunyoung's eyes turned wide. The mere sight of him made her feel like her heart would jump out of her chest.

"Sorry I kept you waiting," he said sheepishly, shooting her a dimpled smile that she hadn't seen in far too long. His smile never failed to fill her heart with a comfortable warmth that she could easily get used to. A blush crept up her cheeks that she tried her best to hide.

"Nonsense," she waved her hand in front of her face, "Your father is a great conversationalist."

"Pfft!" his dad laughed heartily, "You flatter me."

"Should we get started?" Sunjae interrupted rather impatiently. His dad smiled knowingly, aware of his eagerness to spend time with Eunyoung.

"Oh, yes let's do that."

They made their way up the stairs, then entered Sunjae's bedroom. The door shut with a thud behind them, and they were alone at last. Eunyoung scanned his room briefly, a smile surfacing on her lips. There were trophies, certificates, medals on display and her eyes lingered on the photos of Sunjae. 

"There's a lot of blue in here," she observed. Suddenly, her smile grew wider as she spotted the blue paper from the paper airplane she had sent the previous day.

"My favorite color," Sunjae said, the words basically fumbled out of his mouth. His heart was pounding in his chest, daring to jump out any second. His gaze lingered on Eunyoung. She wore a pair of dark blue, comfortable-looking jeans with a dusty pink top. She looked as pretty as ever, with her long, flowing hair and sparkling eyes. He quickly looked away, feeling the warmth on his face.

They sat down at his desk, and Sunjae's lethargic and sloth-like movement indicated his unwillingness to study. The truth was that if he could, he could sit and stare at Eunyoung in admiration for the rest of his life. Snapping out of his trance, he blinked his eyes rapidly and took out his math textbooks .

"What are your grades like in other subjects?" she inquired, turning to look at him.

"A B is probably the most I've ever gotten," he answered, his ears turning red in shame. This wasn't exactly the side of himself he wanted Eunyoung to know.

The small, rather elegant chuckle that escaped her mouth filled his ears, "You don't have to look so embarrassed, Sunjae, I'm here to help you, not judge you."

There it was again. She had such a way with words, the way she weaved them just the right way. Her words never failed to be a source of strength for him. This newfound vulnerability filled him with a sense of comfortability instead of the usual unease and fear that came with opening up to someone.

"So, what do you hate most about math?"

"Algebra," he said, sounding quite petrified.

"Then let's start with that."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: sunjae's dad being the best wingman ever.

delphi's notes: FEAR OF ALGEBRA IS SO REALL. eunyoung you demon.

next chapter: saturday (out now) list of chapters here!

xxxiv. the rose that grew thorns

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR ─ the rose that grew thorns.

❛ my heart only wants you the moment you say no ❜

Narrator's Perspective

To Yumi, it seemed like all she did was stand and wait since she time travelled for the second time. But what other choice did she have? If she was completely honest with herself, she envied Sunjae and Eunyoung's instant connection. Things just seemed to fall into place for them. Not that they were completely carefree, though.

So, once again, she stood among the sea of students dispersing from school. The sun shone it's piercing rays over the campus, and the cheery chatter that filled the air along with the insane humidity was already giving Yumi a migraine. Her eyes searched the crowd for a messy-haired, cat-faced boy in a blinding biker jacket. 

The moment she spotted him, her eyes lit up, and her lethargic posture on the bench suddenly became erect as she practically sprinted across the street. "Taesung!"

He turned sharply to look at her, his expression as grim as ever.

"Look, I'm sorry for-"

"What the hell's the matter with you?!" he snapped at her, his face twisting with rage, "I don't know what sick prank you're playing with me. What exactly are you sorry for? That your mother comes and yells at me at seven in the morning?"

"Taesung, what?" Yumi tried to ask, her mind in utter confusion.

"She comes up to me before school, threatens me not to come near you or she would file a restraining order. And you come up to me not once, but twice, to apologize?" He said the last part like a question, as if it was just that shocking, "You're the one who asked me to piss off, so here I am, minding my own business and then you appear out of nowhere saying shit that barely makes sense. Look all I wanted to say is that it would be really great if you and your family stopped attacking me in the streets, thanks."

Heads were turning, and Yumi felt a lump in her throat and tears forming in her eyes. She lowered her head, and began walking away as her tears threatened to spill at any second.

Somewhere in the crowd, Eunyoung and Sunjae stood silently, watching the scene unfold before them. Eunyoung's heart twisted in pain. The story seemed to click in her mind as she came to a hurtful realization. Their mother must have overheard their conversation from the previous day.

"Sunjae I'm sorry, can we reschedule-" she began, but he cut her off.

"Go, go, I'll be fine, I swear," he urged. She said a quick thank you, running after Yumi.

 💿

Eunyoung unlocked the door to her house as fast as she could, rushing inside. When she stepped into the living room, her heart sank. Yumi was curled up on the couch, her knees drawn to her chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Without hesitation, Eunyoung hurried to her side, pulling her into a tight, comforting embrace. Yumi continued to weep into her shoulder, her tears soaking through Eunyoung's shirt.

Eunyoung had only seen her like this once before—when Yumi's mother had passed away. The sight of her closest friend in such deep pain tore at her heart. After what felt like forever, Yumi slowly pulled back, her voice trembling as she said, "It hurts, Eunyoung... it hurts so much. My chest feels like it's been stabbed, like there's a weight crushing it. I've... I've lost him, Eunyoung."

Tears filled Eunyoung's own eyes as she gently took Yumi's shaking hands in hers. "Oh, Yumi," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

"I've hurt him so much... He hates me now- hell, I hate myself!" Yumi cried, her words broken by sobs. Her face was drenched in tears, her eyes swollen and red, the tip of her nose glowing. The raw pain in her voice and the way she trembled made Eunyoung's heart ache even more as Yumi's sorrow spilled out through her shaking sobs.

"It's not your fault, Yumi," Eunyoung assured her. Her own voice shook, but even that couldn't hide her genuine belief in those words, "None of it is your fault, Yumi. You have believe that. For me. And for mom. You know how much she cares about you and never wants to see you hurt or grieving. She's trying her best to protect you, Yumi. The accident was a horrible tragedy and it was nobody's fault that it happened."

"I ruined his life," Yumi continued to weep, her throat beginning to ache, "I should have never been here in the first place!"

Eunyoung had never felt as helpless as she had in that moment, watching Yumi cry achingly. She tried as hard as she could to wipe her own tears that blurred her vision. 

"At the hospital," Eunyoung began, trying to gather herself, "He checked with me a million times if you were going to be okay. He made sure you would be alright before shifting rooms. He really cares about you, Yumi, I mean it. He does care. You need to remember that. You need to cling to that hope."

 Eunyoung could practically hear Taesung's earnest voice in her ears.

"Eunyoung, hear me out for a minute. I know you, your mom and everyone hates me and I'm like number one on your hitlist, but I just need to know one thing and I swear I'll get lost. Is Yumi going to be alright? Just tell me that much, cause I NEED to know. You just need to tell me that much and then I'm going to shift rooms. I promise I won't interfere with her life EVER again."

Yumi's sobbing reduced a little bit, and Eunyoung saw it as a small victory as she saw a little light returning to Yumi's swollen eyes.

"I really want to believe that," Yumi whispered.

"You should," Eunyoung affirmed, "Because it's true."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: sunjae being the considerate king that he is <3

delphi's notes: TAESUNG NOOOOOOO

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxxiii. the ticking clock

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE ─ the ticking clock.

❛ watch your breeze take over me just like we used to be ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Sunjae waited outside the swimming pool, fidgeting with his hands rather impatiently. The events that had taken place just a few moments prior played in his head over and over again. His entire body was soaking wet, and his shirt stuck to his body. Normally, he would have been freezing, dying to get home and change. He felt a breeze, but the thought of Eunyoung seemed to keep him warm. 

He remembered how much he once hated the rain. How his clothes stuck to his body like a really annoying magnet. How the rain irritated him after a long day at the pool. But one fine day, all of that changed. A beautiful girl with smiling lips and intoxicating laughter had run through the moonlit alleyways with him, holding his hand and dragging him along.

She completely mesmerized him. Not only was she the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on, but he never felt a connection with anyone like he did with Eunyoung. He might have been overreacting, but it almost felt as if he had found his other half. They fit together like pieces of a puzzle. It was just right. She always seemed to know the right words to speak at the right time. How could such a perfect person be real?

Just then, Eunyoung emerged through the swimming pool door wearing his blazer, and even then, she looked as pretty as ever. The oversized piece of clothing hid her hands in the sleeves and the jacket looked evidently too big for her. She still looked cute in it, though. 

"Thanks for letting me borrow this," she thanked him with a sweet smile, "Are you sure you're alright? The wind is going crazy today."

"No, it's alright," he assured her, returning a smile, "You can keep it."

They began walking to the bus stop. Eunyoung's eyes kept wandering everywhere, scanning the road she had taken every day of her teenage life. If she was completely honest with herself, she was freaking out inside. She was wearing Ryu Sunjae's clothes. The fact seemed so surreal to her and in that moment, for a while, she felt like a stereotypical teenage girl with a crush on a popular guy.

As they reached the bus stop, all she could think of was Sunjae sitting near the pool and sobbing his heart out. The pictures of news articles flashed in front of her eyes. "Ryu Sunjae's cause of death: Suicide?" "Ryu Sunjae proved to be taking anti-depressants prior to his death" She looked up at Sunjae. He had no idea what fate had in store for him, and she wanted to protect him more than anything.

💿

As they sat on the bus, side by side, Eunyoung found herself reaching for Sunjae's ice cold hand. The action startled Sunjae as he jumped a bit, a bright red blush appearing on his face. "Are you feeling alright?" she asked, her voice laced with worry and her eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm fine, really," he said, turning away to hide his flushed face, "I don't feel that cold, really."

"Your hands are literally freezing," countered Eunyoung, "But that's not what I was asking about. Earlier, at the pool... what happened?"

"Oh," he muttered, "I- it's stupid."

"No, it's not. Tell me, Sunjae."

The way she said his name just made him melt, "I got a bad grade... and I realized that without swimming, I don't even know what I'm doing with my life, and it really stressed me out."

"It's alright," she whispered, squeezing his hand gently, "It's okay to feel lost. One bad grade isn't the end of the world, trust me. It doesn't matter nearly as much as you think it does."

"It was a really bad grade, Eunyoung."

"Really?" she challenged. The determination in her eyes, and her grip on his hand both seemed to be hypnotizing him. She asked him, "How much did you get?"

"Ten out of forty. In math."

Her grip loosened for a moment as she stared at him, trying to process the information.

"See, it is bad," he slowly pulled away his hand because if he stayed that way any longer, he might have exploded right there.

"No," she tried to comfort him, but the insincerity was evident in her tone, "Look you need practice, that's all."

"It's no use, I'm stupid," he insisted, "I don't understand anything, and I'm always dozing off in class."

"I'll teach you," warmth crept up Eunyoung's face as she realized what she just said. There was no going back now. The thought of spending so much time with him made her feel giddy. Sunjae's eyes widened as he tried to process what she just said.

"You want to tutor me?" he confirmed, to which she nodded, "Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Sunjae, listen," she turned in her seat to face him, "You had to give up your dream. It's going to be hard to get on track with something else. You're really brave, you know. Not everyone can do what you're doing right now. I want to help you."

"Okay," he breathed.

Then they exchanged smiles, and their eyes communicated feelings that words could have never described.

💿

"Oh dear, look at you," Yumi gasped as she watched Eunyoung, drenched from head to toe, enter their house, with a grin plastered on her face and Sunjae's jacket draped over her shoulders, "Was there a thunderstorm I didn't hear of?"

"It's a long story."

"I have time," countered Yumi with determination, "And that idiotic smile on your face tells me it has something to do with a certain someone."

"You're right," Eunyoung said, still smiling, her face glowing pink, "So I was going to visit Sunjae-"

"Of course you were."

"Let me speak, for god's sake," Eunyoung insisted, the smile never leaving her face, "And I met Inhyuk, who told me he went to the swimming pool 'cause he forgot something. So, I went there, and he was sitting by the pool and sobbing. I tried to comfort him, and it worked- I think. Then, we heard a really loud crashing sound outside and we fell into the pool. It was the scariest thing ever, honestly."

"That's so cute, it's like you guys are in a rom-com," Yumi said with a slight bitterness in her voice.

"Then why does your face look like someone squeezed a lemon in your mouth?" questioned Eunyoung, "Did something happen?"

"I went to the music club today-"

"Of course you did."

Yumi sighed, "Let me finish? So I went, and I waited outside for about a thousand years. I swear it felt like I was growing old standing there. By the time I had lost all sensation in my legs, I saw Taesung petting that kitten- you know which one, and I don't know... the moment I saw him, my mind went blank, and I couldn't speak properly. He looked so miserable... and I wanted to apologize but the words just wouldn't come out."

"I would hug you but then you would be drenched too," said Eunyoung, her smile turning into one of sympathy, "It means you like him. Things will be okay, Yumi. Maybe not now, but eventually."

I don't want to wait, Yumi silently thought to herself.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: i really love the headers where the characters are looking at each other <3

delphi's notes: patience? who's she? yumi doesn't know her...

next chapter: saturday (out now) list of chapters here!

xxxii. your embrace

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO ─ your embrace.

❛ now i need someone to hold be my fire in the cold ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

"The kitten's grown."

The moment those words left my mouth, I wanted to slap myself really hard. I had been waiting outside the Jagam High Music Club for what felt like an eternity. Each passing minute felt endless, but I endured through my impatience because I wanted to see Kim Taesung. I wanted to sincerely apologize for every thoughtless word I said to him. And when I finally spotted him feeding the kitten on the sidewalk, looking just as gorgeous as ever, all I could say was "The kitten's grown?" I had never acted more stupid in my life

He turned to look at me, and his eyebrows raised in curiosity seemed to fall and his expression changed. His eyes look blank and lifeless, reminding my of the future that I had recently witnessed. He focused his gaze on the ground, as if he was trying to distract himself.

"Oh, it's you."

His words seemed to break my heart in a split second. My mind recalled all the moments I had spent with him in the past. His witty remarks, his humor that was slightly rude, were all vivid in front of my eyes. But now, all that was gone, replaced by a grim, cold boy that I barely recognized. That side of him that only I seemed to know had disappeared, and it was all my fault.

He stood up, facing me now, and my stupid heart began hammering against my chest.

"I- I wanted to say... that I'm sorry," I mumbled out. Another internal slap. That sounded completely insincere. Like someone had forced me to apologize. What was wrong with me? Where had all my communication skills gone off to?

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

I pushed the door as I entered the swimming pool area as quietly as I possibly could. Immediately, the smell of chlorine hit my nose and the still, cool air that hung over the entire room sent a shiver down my spine. I closed the door behind me, making barely a sound as my eyes scanned my surroundings. There was a wall on my right, and a door on my left leading to a locker room. All the windows had been closed and the only source of illumination was from some dim lights put up on the walls.

I had run into Inhyuk while I was about to meet Sunjae at his house, who told me that Sunjae had gone to the swimming pool because he apparently "left something there." The statement brought an inexplicable anxious feeling that tightened my chest and I came to the school swimming pool as quickly as I could.

A soft sobbing sound fell upon my ears that grew louder as I moved towards the source of the sound. Then I saw him. Sunjae. He was sitting right at the edge of the swimming pool. legs crossed and his head in his hands, crying softly. My raised eyebrows and curious eyes morphed into a face of unwelcome realization. My heart seemed to crack and shatter the longer I watched him. Swimming was everything to him. And all of a sudden, he had to quit. When I thought about the amount of pain he must have been in, it made me want to scream and curse at his fate. I felt that same tightening feeling in my chest as I approached him slowly, mindful of the wet floor.

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

I felt a pair of arms gently wrap around my shoulders. The action was sudden, unexpected; Especially because no one was around when I checked; But strangely, instead of resisting, I found myself melting into the embrace. A part of me knew. That it was her. With hesitation, I lifted my head, my face wet with tears as I heaved another sob and looked at Eunyoung's face that seemed to reflect the pain I felt inside.

"Eunyoung," I breathed out, my sobbing stopping momentarily, "I was-"

"You don't have to explain," she assured me, her own voice sounding choked, as if she was holding back tears. She was kneeling on the wet floor behind me, her arms clinging onto me, as if she was afraid to let go. All my pain seemed to suddenly disappear in that moment as my face began feeling warmer and butterflies seemed to take flight in my stomach. Her touch sent chills down my spine every single time.

She closed her eyes tightly, as tears spilled out of her eyes. With each drop that cascaded down her cheeks, I felt my heart break. She pulled away and sat facing me while trying to blink away the tears in her eyes. "Sunjae, I," her voice faded away as she tried to compose herself before speaking again. As her hand reached up to caress my face, I felt my heart skip a beat. Choi Eunyoung what are you doing to me?

"I never want you to be in pain. It hurts to see you like this, Sunjae. You never have to feel like you need to bottle up your feelings. Because I'm here for you. And I always will be."

The moment she said those words, I couldn't help but pull her into another embrace and burst into tears. My arms wrapped tightly around her waist as I sobbed into the nape of her neck. I felt the surprise in her body, but instead of pushing me away, her hands rested lightly on my head, caressing my hair with a kind of care I had never felt before. I didn't know how much I needed to hear those words, because they seemed to reassure me in ways that I had never felt before.

Then, at the perfect time to ruin the moment, there was a crashing sound outside. Both of us jumped severely as we slipped because of the wet floor and plunged into the pool that was barely inches away from us. The second that the cold water hit my body, soaking all my clothes, I felt my hands reaching for Eunyoung, who was struggling. I held her shoulders tightly as she steadied herself. My eyes scanned her as I asked frantically, "Are you alright? You aren't hurt or anything are you?"

Her widened eyes seemed to stare at me for a few moments before answering, "No... I'm just a little shaken," her nose crinkled up, "And I think some water went up my nose."

I chuckled at her adorable expression. She's just too cute, I found myself thinking.

"Let's get out of here?"

"You don't have to ask me twice."

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nana's notes: i came up with this cute idea during a lecture btw my brain never take s a break <3 also someone needs to check on yumi, like is she okay??

delphi's notes: aw they fell in the pool. *ERROR* yumi's communications not found ⚠️

next chapter: friday (out now) list of chapters here!

xxxi. second chances

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CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE ─ second chances.

❛ cause in this city's barren cold, i still remember the fist fall of snow ❜

Narrator's Perspective

There's nothing like a good meal after a long day of work. Eunyoung and Yumi realized the credibility of this statement as they sat at the dining table in their apartment, munching away to glory, not uttering a word until every crumb of food from their plates had disappeared.

"I don't think we need to wash the dishes now," Yumi piped.

"It's not like we have the energy to do that anyways," Eunyoung replied, leaning back in her chair, sighing.

"Don't you sit on your CEO chair and order people around all day?" Yumi teased.

"Are you kidding?" she exclaimed, slightly offended. Her fatigue seemed to have hindered her ability to detect playful sarcasm, "I've been answering a million calls for the past two days, and all the reporters are dying to know all the details of Sunjae..." she trailed off- the words were too painful to utter, "Anyways, it's as if the whole office is working on the same case. Have you ever seen my eyes this puffy. I'm single-handedly improving the income of all tissue paper manufactures."

"God, forget I ever asked," Yumi muttered, putting her hands up.

"Tell me, how's stuff at our office?" Eunyoung changed the topic swiftly, "Any turbulence?"

"I wouldn't say turbulence," answered Yumi thoughtfully, "But this case I'm on right now is straight out of an Agatha Christie novel. This woman's husband got hit by a bus and he died. It seems so simple, but the woman is insisting that he was murdered. I can't tell you more because of attorney-client confidentiality, but it's completely nuts. Like, they should have given this case to- I don't know, Hercule Poirot or Sherlock Holmes, not me. I swear the woman's on crack or something because I've never met someone so ecstatic in my life. Taesung and I barely sat through the interview-"

"Wait wait what did you just say?" Eunyoung asked, suddenly sitting up straight, trying to make sure she didn't mishear Yumi.

"Huh?" Yumi went quiet suddenly, realizing that this was the first time she mentioned Taesung being on the case with her, "Oh, that's right. Kim Taesung is a cop now. Violent crimes division. Who would've imagined? Not me." She let out an unnatural giggle which definitely didn't sound like something that would come out of a sober person's mouth. 

"Girl, you're blabbering slow down," Eunyoung said, leaning on the table between them, looking straight into Yumi's eyes that were staring intently at the floor, "You're saying that Kim Taesung- high school delinquent became a cop? And he's working with you?  What is this? A badly written rom-com?"

"You think I'm making it up?" Yumi ejaculated defensively.

"I- goodness," Eunyoung sighed, her eyes blinking rapidly as her brain tried to digest all this new information, "After fifteen years. And it hasn't even been fifteen years since..."

Her thoughts trailed away. Her eyes landed on the CD player she moved to the living room in the hope that her heart would ache a little less. But there it was, staring down at her. There were a million different thoughts racing through her mind. How much pain must Yumi be in? Things had happened so fast for her, and she had no time to process the shock fully.

A bone-chilling wind entered through the kitchen window, goosebumps erupting on both of their arms. The world seemed to hold it's breath for a moment and the stillness was almost uncomfortable. Then, it started. It had started snowing, and the snow would soon wrap the whole city in a white, icy blanket; And it was just like the night of the Eclipse concert, starting slowly, then transitioning into a full-fledged storm. It wasn't unlike the news of Sunjae's death, that creeped up on her slowly, hardly believable at first and then becoming increasingly every second that passed. 

Eunyoung's hand reached for Yumi's, holding it tightly, "Are you okay?" the question was barely a whisper, because she knew that neither of them were.

"No."

The clock struck twelve, and the display on the CD player flashed, then showed the numbers 2:00. Then the walls around them melted away as they were flung through space and time once again.

💿

"Excuse me, you two girls!" the teacher's voice hollered through the classroom, "Sleeping in class, both of you sisters! Aren't you the slightest bit ashamed?"

Eunyoung and Yumi jerked awake, looking at each other as if to ask, "Is he talking about us?" Eunyoung's eyes took a quick glance at the calendar in the corner of the room. June 2008. She had to stop the sigh of relief from escaping her mouth. Sunjae was alive, and she had another chance to set things right. 

"Stand up when I'm talking to you!" the teacher's voice boomed as they both stood up abruptly, "Go stand at the back of the class! Sleeping while I'm explaining such important concepts... kids these days," he muttered in annoyance as Yumi and Eunyoung moved to the back of the class as a couple of kids snickered at them; But they couldn't care less. They had more pressing matters on their mind. 

I have to set things right. Yumi thought to herself with determination. Heck, she was ready to accept that she liked the stupid boy. She had to save him; Save him from the misery he would face in the future. She wanted to preserve that spark in his eyes, and she was willing to go to any lengths to do it. Ten days had already passed in this timeline. The clock was ticking, and she understood that she had to work fast.

"Why do we always end up in school when we switch timelines?" Eunyoung hissed in frustration as the bell went off.

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nana's notes: here we go! round two.

delphi's notes: they're motivated again guys.

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxx. the memory of you

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CHAPTER THIRTY ─ the memory of you.

❛ i miss the old ways, you didn't have to change, but i guess i don't have a say now that we don't talk ❜

Kim Taesung's Perspective

I felt my heart drop the moment the woman who was supposedly waiting for me turned around. I barely recognized her at first; But my memories of her must have been etched into my brain permanently, because a part of me knew. That it was her. Her long and flowing hair was no more, and the only part of it left hung over her shoulders. As I stood there in front of her, staring, I found myself entranced by her face, just like I had all those years ago. I had seen her for the very first time at the music club, and the incident replayed in front of my eyes as if it took place only yesterday. Our eyes met- ever so briefly, and it was as if fireworks had gone off. Her features still held the same harmony- soft, with a air of gentility, yet they had an inexplicable charisma that captivated me.

I could practically feel my heart pounding in my head. My hand had begun trembling. I continued gazing into her eyes, trying way too hard to avoid the scar on the right side of her face. I practically had to tear my eyes away because my heart and soul ached as if they were being pierced by a thousand needles. There was that same emptiness in her eyes that always perplexed me. It made me so curious. What could she have possibly gone through for her eyes to look so lifeless and miserable. I wanted to know so badly. I wanted to know her better, and I failed to do it every time.

Our eyes met again after some stupid formal dialogue, the sound of which was drowned out by the deafening sound of the frantic beating of my heart. I felt like I was back in my teenage body, staring at her from afar and overthinking the gift she gave me- that I bought over and over again for years. The flush on my face must have been so obvious and for a second I almost felt sorry for my colleague who stood and watched us in confusion. My gaze shifted to her scar again, and I had to look away from her entirely because of the pain I felt in my chest. It was as if someone had ripped my heart out of my body and broken it in a million parts like it was made of glass. 

The truth was that I blamed myself to this day. There was nothing that I regretted more than failing to protect her. In hindsight, I wondered how things would have turned out if I just followed basic safety protocol. What was I thinking? Riding a bike with no helmet? That too with someone I cared about. I would give up anything to go back in time and fix it. Would that have fixed everything?

On my way home, the only thought that occupied me was that despite everything that had happened- the time that had passed, and the very obvious scar on Yumi's face, she was still just as pretty as fifteen years ago. That's the thing that made me feel ridiculous; In front of Choi Yumi, I was just a nineteen year old boy with a stupid crush.

Choi Yumi's Perspective

I sat in my room, staring at the floor, lost in thought. It was insane. I had endless questions that could never be silenced. How had I run into Taesung in this timeline? Why and how did he end up become a police officer...

Then, something inside me clicked

A familiar face flashed in front of me- Gahyun, the crazy bitch obsessed with Taesung. Her screaming voice and her shaking hands pointing to me in accusation appeared in front of me.

"You!" she shrieked. Her hollering voice echoed and rippled through the previously quiet, still hospital halls. The other patients shrunk back, closed their curtains to avoid looking at the scene she was causing and others went to call for help.

"What do you want?" I sighed, "And for god's sake lower your volume."

"You're the reason my Taesung is injured!" she continued yelling, "If it weren't for you, he would be perfectly healthy at home! Now- all thanks to you, he's going to have that hideous scar on his shoulder! Ugh, it's all your fault! How could you be so selfish?!"

A fire began burning inside me that started as a spark then exploded in an instant as I cried out with tears of agony forming in my eyes, "Don't you dare pretend like you know shit! He CHOSE to drop me. In case you haven't noticed, this damn thing on my face is going to be permanent. God, just stay out of it! You don't deserve to come here and yell at ME and cause a scene! Get out!"

My breathing became erratic, and it was as if steam was coming out through my ears. I was furious. Not because she was crushing on the same stupid teenage boy as me. Because of how right she was. If it wasn't for me, Taesung would be okay.

"Yumi, is everything alright?" asked a concerned Eunyoung who had just returned home, looking even more miserable than me.

"I remember everything now," I said, feeling dazed and confused, but at the same time things seemed to make more sense, "Did we really yell in the hospital like that?"

"Oh, yeah," she tried to tell me gently, "Everyone heard."

"God."

I ran a hand down my face, sighing for what must have been the millionth time that day, "What's up with you?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Don't even ask," she responded, sighing, "Sunjae's death was suicide."

I suddenly sat up straight, my ears perking up. The word seemed to crash right on my head as my chest began feeling tight. I never spoke about it, but my mother's death haunted me to this day. She couldn't endure the abuse from my father and ended her own life. I was too young to understand it when it happened, but it dawned on me now. The thought that I was not very different, that I would turn out the same made me cower in fear every time I thought about it.

I pulled Eunyoung into an embrace, and I could feel her surprise to my impulsive action. "I'm sorry," I whispered. The room was then filled with the sound of our breathing and the soft banging of the snow against the window.

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nana's notes: wonyoung's face card in the header tho-

delphi's notes: taesung having a whole melancholic monologue is everything.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxvi. all roads lead to rome

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CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX ─ between notes and secrets.

❛ there's many different ways you can kill someone you love the slowest way is not loving them enough ❜

Narrator's Perspective

The doors closed with a thud after one final passenger got on and the bus drove away into the darkness of the early summer morning. The sky was littered with little grey clouds, casting a shadow over the city. 

"It's going to rain today," Yumi observed.

"Yeah," Eunyoung gazed out the window with beady eyes, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Why do you react like that every time someone mentions rain? You're such a weirdo," Yumi scoffed.

"It rained the first time I met Sunjae," she said, still smiling.

"So what?" Yumi spat, "Big deal."

"It is to me."

"Shut up. Where is he anyways?"

"He usually sleeps in these days since he isn't on the swim team anymore," Eunyoung stated, "He takes the later bus."

"Oh god, where's the off button?" Yumi pretended to gag, "You're making me sick, stop it. I need a subject change, gosh. Why were you and Mom so solemn at dinner yesterday? I thought someone died."

Eunyoung's eyes darkened, bearing an eerie likeliness to the overcast sky.  Her smile fell and she looked away from Yumi because the answer to her question was probably written all over her face.

"Oh no, did someone actually-"

"No!"

"Thank god," Yumi sighed in relief, "You scared me for a second."

"It was nothing," Eunyoung said in answer to her previous question, "I was just tired, I don't know about Mom."

"If you say so."

"How 'bout you? Where are you mysteriously disappearing these days?"

Yumi swallowed. It was her turn to look away to hide her face that had "guilty conscious" written all over it, "Extra practice at the club," she answered curtly, "Didn't I tell you?"

"You did."

"Yeah, so that's it. Nothing mysterious. Just boring old piano practice."

"If you say so."

💿

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

How did I end up here? I wondered, staring out of the bus window. It was nearly half past four, and I should have been home, studying—or at least doing something productive. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't cracked open a textbook in nearly fifteen years, but I just couldn't muster the motivation to do so. Instead, I found myself deciding to visit Yumi.

The bus screeched to a halt, and I snapped my head around to see the doors swing open. I sprang from my seat and stepped off the bus, right in front of the Jagam High music club. Confusion furrowed my brow as I took a few hesitant steps toward the building, then stopped in my tracks. I rubbed my eyes, hoping I was mistaken, but the scene before me was unmistakable.

There, in plain view, was Yumi climbing onto Kim Taesung's motorcycle. The shock must have paralyzed me, because all I could do was stand there, agape, as they sped away, leaving a cloud of smoke in their wake. It took a moment for reality to sink in, but once it did, I snapped into action. 

I began to run.

💿

I must have really been out of my senses to run after a flipping motorcycle, because, by the time I reached what appeared to be Kim Taesung's front door, I stood at a turning where I was sure they couldn't see me, gasping for breath. Honestly, it was a miracle I didn't lose them. God knows how I was able to keep up; It must have been my determination to find out because there's no way I could have done it otherwise.

I leaned against a nearby wall, heaving and breathless. It took me a while to calm myself down, and in the meanwhile, I could hear his front door close and their muffled conversation. To be fair, there was no reason for me to be hiding like this as if I were committing some kind of crime. Yumi's the one who's been lying. To me. And to mom. Yet, she's going about deceiving me in broad daylight, with no shame whatsoever and I'm hiding behind a wall, trying not to get caught.

The tapping of my shoes against the pavement sounded in the empty street. I let out a long sigh. Behind my anger and frustration, I felt hurt. Hurt that Yumi felt the need to lie. No matter what happened, we had always shared everything with each other. Now, there was this secret between us.

"I would never hide anything from her," I muttered under my breath.

What could she possibly be doing with him that she couldn't even confide in me? My pace quickened as I moved towards Kim Taesung's house, anxiety rising in my chest. I practically zoomed past the outer safety door that was left ajar and stumbled onto the veranda and moved towards the front door. I rang the doorbell and waited impatiently, letting out another sigh.

After a few seconds, I racked my knuckles on the wooden door, the sense of urgency evident in my actions. I heard the doorknob rattle as Yumi opened the door. Her frown slowly morphed into a look of absolute shock and guilt. Her eyes instantly widened and she tried to stutter an excuse but it was no use, "Eun...uh.. I, the thing-"

"Save it," I snapped.

She turned to grab her bag from a nearby chair. I scoffed, mostly to myself as I turned to leave. I heard her call out, "I gotta go!" I heard some words of confusion mumbled by Taesung, but my mind was clouded by rage and betrayal. I couldn't comprehend what he said.

Yumi grabbed my wrist, stopping me as I turned around, frowning at her face.

"Eunyoung, please don't do-"

"Don't do what, exactly?!" I yelled, my voice laced with anger, "Yumi, I don't even know what to say to you right now. What is wrong with you?"

"Why are you mad?" she countered irritably.

"Why am I mad?" I repeated, letting out a strangled chuckle at the irony of her question, "I'll tell you why! You're running off to this guy's house I don't know how often a week, and lie to your family. This guy is the spitting image of a delinquent and he has trouble written all over his face. I hope that answers your question."

"I really don't get it, Eunyoung," she screamed, sighing after a few moments, "I don't get why you're interfering like this. It's my life, and let me screw it up! Why're you getting worked up over nothing?"

"Because I'm trying to protect you!"

"Look, everything I do is my choice. So, if I get hurt, it's on me! Just stay out of it, for God's sake, Eunyoung!" she screamed, "You're not even my real sister, so why does it matter?"

Her words pierced through my heart and all my anger melted away in a moment. The frown fell from my face and I felt a lump in my throat.  I took a step back watching Yumi realise the gravity of her words. They seemed to prick and burn my skin. My lip trembled as I stuttered out, "Fine."

I broke into a run onto the pavement as I faintly heard Yumi's voice call out to me in the distance, but I didn't look back. My vision blurred as tears streamed down my face.

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nana's notes: ouch, yumi, that stings.

delphi's notes: oh eunyoung, only if you understood.

list of chapters here! click here for next chapter.

inconvenience regretted 😞

xxix. blackout

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CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE ─ blackout.

❛ life is emotionally abusive and time can't stop me quite like you did ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

My eyes scanned my surroundings. White walls, busy chattering, phones ringing everywhere and a sense of urgency and busyness in the air. A police station. I looked down at myself. I was back in my formal attire- trousers, white shirt, blazer, that kind of stuff. Although I may have looked normal on the outside, I felt weird. I had never felt this way since my first day of work, and I could scarcely describe the feeling. Everything seemed new, and foreign, even though it was the same work I had done for most of my adult life. Maybe it was nostalgia because of the strange ache and longing in my heart.

Being a lawyer wasn't something I enjoyed. In fact, the last thing I enjoyed... I don't even want to think about it. I would feel a rush of adrenaline after winning a case, then the sense of emptiness would soon return to engulf me. It was an endless cycle that I was stuck in. 

There are certain cases that I receive that require me to go to the police station. This was one of them. I fiddled my thumbs anxiously- as if it was my first day on the job. I felt like an idiot; Which usually means something out of the ordinary was about to happen, so I braced myself accordingly. I had previously met the police when they came to my law firm, but today I had to meet a detective because it was a case of murder.

All of a sudden, an extremely familiar fragrance hit my nose. It came so unexpectedly that I nearly convinced myself that I was imagining it; but the reality was so evident. Slightly woody notes, like sun-warmed cedarwood and a sudden freshness, as if I was standing on a beach at dawn. The air around me was left fresh and alive and the scent was intoxicating and my mind wandered back to the first time I smelled it. It was almost as if I was back in high school, standing in the perfume shop, carefully picking out the perfect present.

I stood up, and taking a second to steady myself, I turned around rapidly to find myself face to face with a face even more familiar than the fragrance. I was met with those same beady cat eyes, but they seemed to have lost their spark. Kim Taesung. A voice in my head whispered his name, trying to grasp the reality in front of me. His disheveled hair had become tamer, and his bright and colorful apparel was replaced with hues of grey and black with a splash of olive green. He looked dull and dejected, and the glint of mischief had disappeared from his eyes. I had recognized him instantly, because his face had been imprinted in my mind. The rapid beating of my heart sounded in my ears, just like it had fifteen years ago. Yet, he looked like a completely different person. It was like someone had switched off the lights inside him.

"Choi Yumi?" he said it like a question mark, his eyebrows raised slightly.

"Do you two know each other?" the police officer behind him asked, confused. For a moment, his words his words faded away and I stood entranced before Kim Taesung, staring blankly. I felt the same I had the first time I saw him. But now, there was a rift between us that was too evident. He seemed so far away even though he was right in front of me. Something that was once new, fresh and full of hope had withered like flowers during the winter. 

"It's been a while," I said, snapping out of my trance, my lips curling upwards ever so slightly. My hand reached up subconsciously to rub the back of my neck.

He simply nodded, shifting his gaze at the ground and his effort to keep it professional was evident, and I would have laughed if I could, but I kept my lips zipped shut when the sound disappeared on the tip of my tongue.

The police officer who I had previously met (who's name I had already forgotten) looked at me curiously, probably hoping I could answer his earlier question.

"We went to the same high school," I told him curtly, plastering a fake smile and turning to look at Taesung, but never meeting his gaze. My eyes glazed over the badge on his jacket. Violent Crimes Division. It felt surreal that he had become a detective- just like his dad. 

Then, suddenly, our eyes met, and time seemed to freeze that exact moment. They're so dull. I thought to myself. I couldn't get over how depressed his eyes looked, like the spark had disappeared. They looked like they were crying out for help. It pained me to look at him that way, and a small part of me pointed an accusing finger at me. Was it my fault? Another voice in my head said that it was unfair. And that he didn't deserve to feel sad. I watched as his eyes shifted to the scar on my face, then shifted back to my eyes, as if he couldn't bear to look at my eyes. The look of pity on his face made me want to cry and scream.

I tore my eyes away, looking at the other police officer. I stole a quick glance at his badge, then said with my best professional smile, "Shall we begin?"

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nana's notes: not yumi forgetting the other police officer's name 😭✋

delphi's notes: and this kids is why adulthood fucking suuuucks.(this pair of adults are not the best example though)

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxviii. the aftermath

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT ─ the aftermath.

❛ once the flight had flown, with the wilt of the rose ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

The surroundings seemed familiar. My mind was clouded with confusion, I couldn't understand what had happened. Moments ago, I remember being on my way home on Taesung's motorcycle, and then we...

"Yumi?" called out Eunyoung's voice which seemed to reflect my puzzled state. That's when I realized where we were. It was our shared apartment in Seoul and we were back to the present. I turned to look at her with furrowed brows, "Check the date quickly!"

She reached for her phone, and the screen displayed 00:02, 1st January, 2023 as the time and date, "What's going on?" she whispered, sounding lost, "This... this means we really time travelled."

"Yeah," I breathed. We had really gone back to the past, to 2008, and now we were back. I stood up to look at the CD player. It displayed 2:00 now instead of 3:00, "What does this mean?" Before I could sit back down, I caught a glimpse of my face in Eunyoung's vanity above her desk. A huge scar on the right side of my face, stretching from my cheek down to my chin. I ran my fingers over it, but there was no odd texture, "W...What's this thing on my face?" I whispered in horror.

I don't quite remember what happened...

❪ flashback ❫

I couldn't make any sense of anything. Where was I? How did I end up there? I had no clue. I could hear loud chattering, someone screaming, the sound of cars passing by in the distance. Then a blaring siren and someone taking me away. What happened after that? I had blacked out completely.

When I opened my eyes all I could see was a white ceiling above me and then the scent of antiseptic hit my nose. Soon, I realized that I was lying down, and my eyes scanned my surroundings. I was wearing a white robe- or was it like a nightgown? I don't have any nightgowns. There were white curtains around the bed I was laying on and that's when the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I was in a hospital.

The needle piercing through my hand sent a sharp, shooting pain up my arm as I noticed it was there, making me wince. There was a huge white bump I could see on the right side of my face- bandages.

The rest of my memories were in a blur. I could still hear people's voices in the back of my mind.

My mom's voice, screaming, "KIM TAESUNG YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

Eunyoung's panicked voice and sobs, "Yumi, I'm so sorry..."

My own voice, yelling, "Look what you've done to me! This! This thing on my face is thanks to you! I'm going to have to live with this all my life. So, I'm sorry if the scar on your shoulder is an eyesore. Because that's too fucking bad."

❪ end of flashback ❫

"Don't you remember?" asked Eunyoung after a long pause, "Taesung was dropping you home... and... and then you..." her voice sounded choked and she closed her mouth, realizing it was too painful to remember.

"I think I remember," I said, spacing out. My hand reached to touch the scar again.

"You swore you hated him," added Eunyoung, "You guys had a huge fight. Screaming in the hospital and everything."

"It must have been quite the scene," I bit my lip, recalling the embarrassing memory.

"Yeah," she said. We both sat in the painful silence that hung in the air. The snow pattered against the window, as if it were knocking, asking to be let in.

"I'm sorry," I told her gently, "I'm sorry for all the horrible things I said to you."

"I'm sorry too," she said, reaching for my hand, "It wasn't my place."

"No, it was! It absolutely was!" I cried as the strength returned in my voice, "You're my family and you had the right to be worried. And you were right! He was trouble! And and... and he-"

"Shhh, it's fine," she said, noticing how my voice shook as I spoke, squeezing my hand, "It's over now. It's all forgiven."

Her eyes moved to her phone screen, showing the news article that Eclipse's Ryu Sunjae had passed away. Her eyes widened, then became moist, "It's... I couldn't do anything..."

I could do nothing but gaze painfully at her state, "Look at the display on the Cd player. I'm guessing it means we have two more chances. Two more chances to set things right."

Narrator's Perspective

Waking up and going to work the next morning seemed like too big of a task for me. From the moment the harsh sunlight streaming through the window entered my room, to the shower, it was as if the melody of sonaki rang in my head as tears streamed uncontrollably down my face. It was completely unlike me- I had never felt so pathetic and depressed in my 34 years of living, and I was feeling it now- all at once.

"Adulting is so hard," I grumbled under my breath as I left the house, wearing black because I was grieving. It had barely been a day since I had returned, but my heart ached with desperation and longing. I already missed my daily bus rides with Sunjae, our carefree, almost meaningless conversations. His smiling face and eyes that seemed to me dripping with honey occupied my mind the whole car ride.

"Teenage life was so easy," I muttered to myself as I parked my car and made my way up the elevator.

The moment I opened the door, I saw a sea of people- employees, all clad in black from head to toe. For a moment, I felt a sense of pride. I had made this happen; a team of people who actually gave a damn about journalistic integrity and not just nosy busybodies who wanted to pry into the lives of the rich and elite. A smile almost surfaced on my face when I thought about my slightly dramatic rise to power as I overthrew the previous CEO of The Seoul Daily.

"Ms. Choi," someone called out to me. A familiar face appeared before me as we bowed and exchanged greetings, "Kang Seoyoon, the head of the entertainment department released the article regarding Singer Ryu Sunjae's death because she lives near the hospital he was taken to. Would you like us to start research on the cause?"

The words felt like icicles against my skin- they were too official, so cold that it almost sent a shiver down my spine. I cleared my throat, trying to pull myself together; I then said to her, mustering up all the professionalism in my voice, "Yes, please get started. Tell Seoyoon that it was extremely prompt of her to write the article even though it was after work hours. Thanks."

With a brief nod and bow, she ran off. "You're all doing a really great job!" I cried out to all the hardworking people sitting withing earshot, plastering on my best fake smile, "Keep up the good work and report to me after the front page placements are done."

The news that I heard a while later felt as if someone ran a knife through my heart. Sunjae's cause of death- it was suicide.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: i guess listening to sad kdrama osts makes me work faster 🤧😭

delphi's notes: sunjae needs to get his death pass revoked frfr :(

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxvii. dead end

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CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN ─ dead end.

❛ remember when we hit the brakes too soon? twenty stiches in a hospital room ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

I dragged my feet across the pavement, walking unwillingly towards the school gate. My hands clutched my backpack tightly as I sighed for the fifth time since I got off the bus. My eyes fixated on the ground while my mind was filled with echoes of what I said to Eunyoung the previous day.

"You're not even my real sister, so why does it matter?!" I had yelled out stupidly. How could I have been so thoughtless? I clearly remember the instant wave of regret that washed over me the next second after those words left my mouth. It was true that Eunyoung had been getting on my nerves. But what I said was completely out of line. We'd been friends our whole lives, and I always considered Eunyoung my sister. My own family abandoned me; my abusive father refused to take care of me after my mom took her own life. Eunyoung's family treated me like their daughter, and this is what I say to her?

"Are you auditioning for the role of a haunted spirit in a horror movie?" piped a familiar voice. I whipped my head around and my tensed shoulders relaxed when I saw it was Taesung, "Because if you are, you're doing an amazing job."

"Hi," I sighed, still half occupied by my thoughts. For a while, we walked in silence, the only sound was that of our footsteps against the road.

"Did your sister totally fire you yesterday?" he asked me.

"She was asleep when I reached home yesterday," said my lifeless voice, "I left early today because I couldn't get myself to face her. I feel like shit."

"That's what you get," he sneered mockingly, "I would have slapped someone across the face if they said that to me."

"You're making me feel a lot better, thanks," Even though my eyebrows were frowning, I couldn't fight the smile tugging at my lips as my heart felt infinitely lighter.

Narrator's Perspective

This particular morning, a strange, still silence hung over the living room. Neither Eunyoung nor her mother spoke a word to each other, and the soft sound of utensils clanking against each other was as loud as ever. Eunyoung's mother pondered over what could possibly be the reason behind Eunyoung's sudden quietness, and Eunyoung's thoughts circled back to Yumi's words no matter how hard she tried to distract herself.

She felt completely pathetic and idiotic, her chest tightening with a wave of disappointment. How had she been so blind? She had always believed that their friendship was built on trust, mutual respect, and a deep sense of loyalty. But now, in the cold light of Yumi's indifference, it was clear she had misread everything. The way Yumi dismissed her concerns, her casual disregard for the years they had spent together, made her stomach churn with a bitter sense of betrayal. She never thought that their bond could hold such little value in Yumi's eyes. To think that something she cherished so deeply had meant so little to her friend was a blow she wasn't prepared for, and the unwelcome realization left her feeling utterly alone. 

"Can I stay home today?" Eunyoung's meek voice asked.

"Why?" countered her mom, the words full of concern, "Are you not feeling well?"

"Yeah, I'm not feeling too great."

Eunyoung's mom took the seat next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder, "Are you an Yumi in a fight?"

Eunyoung's jaw dropped as she exclaimed in shock, "How?!"

Eunyoung's mom smiled knowingly, then chuckling at the disbelief on her daughter's face. "Do all mothers have telepathic abilities or are you special?" she demanded.

"I think it's a Choi family thing," said her mother, "Your grandmother did this all the time, and it drove me nuts."

"Grandma is practically a witch," said Eunyoung, her voice cheerier than before.

"I'm gonna tell her you said that."

"Don't you dare!"

The previously empty living room was now filled with the lively sounds of their giggles. Once the silence returned, Eunyoung's mother held her daughter in a silent embrace, "You can stay home today- as long as you're sure you won't regret it tomorrow."

"We both screwed up," Eunyoung said in a whisper.

"Shhh... I know."

Moms really do have superpowers.

💿

"Oh god, look at the time!" Yumi cried out.

"Are you saying that because you're bored?" asked Taesung, slightly hurt, "It's only been an hour."

"No, I'm serious, look at the time," she said, pointing to the clock.

"Oh my god it's already 8?!" he exclaimed, a hint of disappointment showing through his tone. He turned to look at Yumi, and that's when he realized how close they were sitting. Soon, the living room was filled with the soft sound of their breath. Their eyes met, continuing to stare at each other for god knows how long. Yumi could feel her face getting warmer as her grip on the guitar tightened. Taesung's arm lightly brushed hers, and for a split second it was as if sparks went off and they both pulled away hastily. 

Taesung stood up abruptly, clearing his throat in a way that was so obviously fake that even a deaf person could see through his mediocre acting attempt. Yumi placed the guitar on its place on the wall and began gathering her stuff, desperately trying to ignore the thumping of her heart.

Choi Yumi's Perspective

The engine of Taesung's motorcycle hummed beneath me as we sped down the quiet streets. I tightened my grip around his waist, feeling the warmth of his body through his jacket. The wind rushed past, lifting my hair and tossing it wildly behind me, the cool breeze tickling my neck and cheeks. It felt exhilarating, the way the air seemed to carry all my thoughts away, but at the same time, my heart pounded louder than the engine.

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, partly from the wind but mostly from the way my chest was pressed against his back. The closeness was overwhelming, making me acutely aware of every little movement—how his muscles tensed as he steered, how his scent mixed with the fresh night air. I lowered my head, burying my face against his shoulder to hide my embarrassment, hoping he didn't notice how stiff I was with nerves.

I wasn't used to this—being so close to him, feeling every shift of his body under my hands. Every time the bike turned a corner, I clung a little tighter, my heart fluttering, both from the thrill of the ride and from the proximity I wasn't sure how to handle.

"Are you sure this is alright?" I asked him when I realized that we were both without helmets.

"Yeah, it's short distance," he said on a whim, but his carefree tone did nothing to ease my anxieties. I felt a pit in my stomach, like my gut was trying to tell me something. Or maybe I was just hungry.

Suddenly, there was a whirring noise and I lifted my head to see where it was coming from. My eyes landed on a white taxi, driving in the wrong direction, charging straight towards us. "Taesung, Taesung look-" I must have screamed in his ear. The bright, white headlights seemed to be blinding me as I squinted, then it was as if the world began spinning. There was barely any sensation in my body. The last thing I felt was my head hitting the pavement and a splash of red as the world around me disappeared.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: karma bit yumi's ass

delphi's notes: moral of the story; Always trust your gut!

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxv. between notes and secrets

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE ─ between notes and secrets.

❛ and i feel so high school

every time i look at you ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

The sunlight peered into my room through the translucent curtains hanging over my window. The light cast itself on every surface- my desk, the wooden floor littered with various teenage junk and my spinning chair. Even my bed, which was in an obscure corner of my room couldn't avoid the stingy hot rays of the sun. I lay on my bed like a dead starfish abandoned on the sea shore, staring blankly at the ceiling above, deep in thought.

It's been a couple of weeks since I started learning guitar from Taesung. No matter how hard I tried to be nonchalant about it- I couldn't help myself. He was on my mind, all right, consuming my thoughts day and night. Here I was, rotting in my bedroom on a perfectly pleasant summer Sunday afternoon, thinking about a boy who probably never had a comprehensible thought in his life. Scenes played in my mind like flashbacks in a movie. His gentle tone explained things to me; How our hands would brush ever so often and my stupid heart would start racing like a mad horse.

I wanted to believe so desperately that I was the only one in the world who knew this side of him. Sensitive, kind, gentle- vulnerable. His tough-guy act was all just a pretence. I could see a new part of him now that I had spent so much time with him. His eyes showed a glint as he spoke about music- passion. There was something else about him that he wasn't ready to tell me. The melancholy in his voice whenever the subject of family came up- neglect.

I felt pathetic thinking this to myself, but I wanted to know. Curiosity pierced through my heart, a desire to know him better. What kept him up at night? What makes him smile? Or cry? I wanted to know it all.

I lazily moved to my desk, slouching in my chair as I propelled myself towards the table with my legs. I gazed at the music sheet lying on the table. This music sheet wasn't an ordinary one. It was for the song Taesung was teaching me on the guitar. My fingers played with the corners of the paper, mindlessly folding it. My other hand reached for my pencil as I began to scribble on a different scrap of paper.

The long-hidden time, calls us back again.

💿

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

"Have you ever felt like someone is keeping something from you?" I asked Sunjae as we walked back home from the bus stop through the warm Monday afternoon.

"The feeling of being lied to?" he asked.

"No," I replied, "Like they're withholding information on purpose."

"I don't know," he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck that glistened with sweat, "Is something on your mind?"

"It's probably nothing," I shrugged, looking up at him to smile reassuringly, "Yumi had been coming home late these days. She said there are extra lessons at the music club, but I have a feeling that isn't the whole story."

He smiled back at me, flashing his dimples. My face must have turned the colour of a fresh tomato because I could feel the heat rising. I tried to play it cool, but it was no use. 

I knew it was silly. But there was something about him that just drew me in. Maybe it was his kind eyes that sparkled in the sunlight, or his laugh that not once failed to bring a smile to my face, or it was just the way he made me feel. Whatever it was, I couldn't deny it. I had a stupid, hopeless crush on him.

"It feels amazing to take off my shoulder brace," he sighed as we turned a corner.

"Does it still hurt?"

He shook his head, "The doctor said that it won't get triggered unless I engage in strenuous physical exercise."

"I'm glad you're better now."

A comfortable silence filled the air, our smiles never leaving our faces as we journeyed home. I don't know when I'll be going back to my time, or how much time I had left. In that moment, none of it mattered. All that was important was the soft melody of "Sonaki" in my mind and Sunjae's company which was as warm as the summer breeze flowing through my hair.

💿

I stared blankly at my flip-phone screen displaying a message from an unknown sender.

Hello Eunyoung. 

It's your dad.

My heart raced, threatening to burst out of my chest. I felt my breath become shaky and my hand reached up to my heart in attempt to calm myself. There were a million thoughts and questions running through my mind since the moment I saw the message. What did he want? How did he find my number? But one question brought my spirits crashing down to rock bottom. Where had he been my whole life?

Everything seemed to come back to me. Memories of me as a baby, tiny and vulnerable, desperate to be loved. Now I remember everything I did to try and get my dad to look at me longer than a fraction of a second. I once even tore his favourite pair of shoes to catch his attention. That seemed to make things worse. I thought he hated me. I never once thought he was capable of love. The way he screamed at my mom...

I covered my ears in agony- I could hear the scene replay in my head.

Another message flashed on the screen.

Let me make things right. Can we meet up somewhere?

"Eunyoung?" My mother's voice fell upon my ears. In shock, I spinned in my chair to look at her beady eyes staring down at me.

"M-mom..." My voice stuttered and stammered as I felt a lump in my throat, "D-did you..."

I want to cry.

"Listen, Eunyoung," she began, her voice cold and stiff, "I know this isn't your fault, but under no circumstances will you agree to this. Do you understand? I hope I've made myself clear."

"Yes, mummy," I said, faking a smile, trying to blink away my tears. A warm smile appeared on her face as she pulled me in for a hug, "You're all the family I need." I said to her, biting my lip, trying desperately to hold back the urge to cry my eyes out.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: i'm so proud of that header 🥹 also eunyoung is so real for that last line.

delphi's notes: the way she calls her mom mummy ;(

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!