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The Only Man Ever - Blog Posts
Fave martin blackwood things:
- lied about a MASTERS in PARAPSYCHOLOGY in his cv. why did he choose such a niche study like how many jobs could that even get you (EDIT I now know what a CV is and that he’s not telling every job he has a masters sorry guys I’m very jobless 🙏)
- writes the most terrible poetry you’ve ever heard (said with love) and plays background music while recording it onto a tape recorder for the vibes
- when encountering a terrifying worm lady that tries to add you to her flesh hive, he MAKES SURE to keep some of her worms just so he can stick it in his bosses face
-the rudest guy in the world (said boss) does one nice thing for him that he didn’t expect and he immediately falls in love (this is real to me ok let me have this)
-wears video game shirts to work
-goes on rants about spiders importance to the ecosystem to a guy with the worst arachnophobia ever
-hides CO2 cans so that ‘the worms don’t find it’
-forces his boss to go on lunch dates with him so he doesn’t completely lose it to paranoia
-walked into his bosses office, found a DEAD BODY THAT WAS DEFINITELY MURDERED, and all he says is “oh jon 😕😕”
-has practically the same reaction later on when someone tells him his boss compelled them to relive their worst trauma
-gets told the guy he’s been in love with for multiple years treats him horribly and goes “yeah and”
-outsmarted an avatar of the lonely despite being in a horrible depressive episode with no contact to anyone else
-manages to make peter fully believe he’s dedicated to the lonely even as his crush of many many years is practically confessing his love at every interaction
s5 martin is my favourite id need a whole extra post for him loml