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This Is So Funny - Blog Posts
I wanna go fishing
This sucks so bad, I need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] slay the Princess. If I don’t, it will be the end of the world.
this post has apparently been getting DRAGGED recently and i would like to say that i literally do no care who you ship, i was making a joke bc i personally am not a fan of the ship☠️
also all the post's about this are actually so funny ily all☠️☠️🙏❤️
i actually refuse to believe vigcup shippers are real like wdym you ship the enemies that have nothing in common and are 11 years apart together like that's a fresh adult with a 30 year old how do you find this okay im genuinely concerned
FUCK YOU GUYS
i might disregard this but it'll give me an idea of what way to go in ALSO don't even fucking WORRY about it ITS FINE.
The poor cleric is just so done… 🥲
Cleric P.O.V:
Paladin: I would die for you.
Fighter: I would die for you first.
Cleric, from across the room: No one here is dying!!!
you guys are killing me here
hc fyodor killing ppl by touch isnt his ability its actually just bc hes so old hes infected w every possible disease but just isnt symptomatic. so when u touch him u immediately contract every plague of the last thousand years and simply perish
I cannot stop thinking about @foxqueen-katarian ‘s amazing AU, where Essek is the Luxon’s champion, who somehow got a physical child-like body and keeps following him around like a little duckling.
I guess they just floats around, shining like a cosmic diamond, and live their best life (?)
You can find more about it in this thread :
https://anne-o-nyme.tumblr.com/post/663251925576368128/part-of-me-is-in-love-with-the-idea-of-essek
More surfer Izuku and lifeguard Katsuki
The expectations vs realities of the meet-cute
The reality is not based around my own surfing experiences whaaaaat
hehe I know that it isn't about that but this is the first thing that appeared after that^ video (and it's funneh hehehe)
@cupcakeslushie , tbh this is one of my top 3 fav "separated AUs"
Hope you're doin well
Kirishima: For homework I've got to make one of those diagrams that use circles Tokoyami: Venn Kirishima: Not sure, I'll probably do it after dinner Tokoyami: No. Venn diagram Kirishima: I just told you when I'm making it
This the absolute funniest thing I've seen tonight
Ranmaru Komaeda on the Nintendo wii-ds
Can’t wait for ten years for now where we get the YTTD summer camp installment on the Nintendo 4DS and Ranmaru is shown with his tits out in the trailer
as a culinary student, I love this post
woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:
vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)
which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.
luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.
why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.
vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.
then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.
which then require months of further specialized treatment.
the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage
vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.
the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!
it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!
which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s
Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.
today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar
if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!
in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!
(src)
Just making you remember about this collaboration
This is my fault everyone
I'm so glad we found that video-
You did a great job! Love this!
I drew over the 2nd pic as a joke. Then it stopped becoming a joke. I am so fucking delusional.
In other news, I have been reading through the 3 hour (!!!) gaylor powerpoint, and it is beautifully unhinged and ridiculous. It's perfect. No notes. Delusional masterpiece
I love this post😂
The crows hanging out together, the couples cuddling with each other
Kaz laying down : i am bored…
Inej: no…
Kaz: yes…
Inej: Kaz,no
Kaz: Kaz yes
Kaz sits up
Kaz: Zenik,you and your boyfriend are disgusting, we are not interested in seeing your cutesy display, no other couple can disturb me this much with their cuteness. So disturbing there,sharing the seat like the co depending pair you are, sickens me
Jesper: i beg your pardon?
Nina: In Kaz’s language: he said we are the cutest couple he knows, loser
Jesper: Wylan and I are sharing the seat too
Kaz grabs the popcorn
Nina : Matthias and I are so cute, we share our desserts
Jesper: well, Wylan and I share our breakfast
Wylan: more like we kind of fight for it-
Jesper: you shh!
Nina: Matthias and I share our passwords
Jesper: Wylan and I share our pijama, and I am not saying we exchange them, we literally pick one and I wear the bottom only while he wears the top only , the remaining half exposed
Wylan seeing Kaz opening his mouth: don’t!
Nina: Matthias and I share our tooth brush!
Matthias: we do what?!
(Twenty minutes later)
Jesper: we share the bath!
Nina: so do we!
Wylan: Jes! (Matthias: Nina!)
Nina: we share hair products!
Jesper: we have shared undies!
Wylan: Jesper for fuck sake!
Jesper: well,i couldn’t say hair products, it’s obvious we don’t share that one
Wylan: just for the record, it was only once and my closet was set on fire
Nina: Matthias and i share dreams! We sometimes dream the same thing
Jesper: new flash! dreaming that Kaz is abducted by aliens is not a cutesy couple thing, we all have been there!
Jesper: also, to convince you who are the actual best couple, I’ll go to a lawyer, change my name and birth certificate to match Wylan’s and we’ll be sharing an identity…
Nina: not if I get there first to change Matthias’s certificate to match mine!
(Both run away from the room,Inej stands up)
Inej: I’ll get them
Kaz: the best entertainment is free
Wylan : Jesper did have a point in saying that dreaming Kaz getting abducted it’s an universal thing
I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.
-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a
~*Spiritual Experience*~
I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.
Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.
He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.
So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.
He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.
Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.
His process for unloading the fireworks is to 1. Climb up through the gate into the bed of his pickup truck (a feat made unusually difficult due to the slope of his driveway, and this man's fascinating decision to wear the world's Siffest and least Flexible Denim Overalls. 2. Once in the pickup bed, he selects ONE (1) box from the pile He is apparently from a niche religious institution that doesn't believe in stacking things. 3. Carries it awkwardly around the palette that barely fits in the truck bed 4. His wife yells "Be careful!" when he nearly falls out of the pickup. 5. He Yells "SHADDUP!" back at her. 6. The Large German Shepherd barks from inside the house. 7. He yells "SHADDUP!" back at her too. 8. He sets the (1) box down on the gate 9. Slowly and awkwardly climbs out of the pickup bed 10. picks the box back up, and carries it into the garage.
Question: Aren't you going to help this poor man? Answer: Absolutely Not.
There's four military veterans, MANY dogs, and several people with dementia in this neighborhood, all of whom are terrified by this chicanery every year and many neighbors have repeatedly asked him to maybe do the fireworks somewhere else. (This is the Eighth Year Running he's held a major demolition event in his driveway, and for those of you who can do math, you may be able to guess the precipitating incident to this little ritual) Additionally, I live in Colorado, a state marginally less prone to spontaneous and catastrophic conflagrations than a rotting grain silo, but only marginally. Our recreational explosives laws are written accordingly.
I am in fact calling the Non Emergency line to report Fireworks violations, and reading off the brand labels to someone named Dorothy, who is gleefully totaling up a SPECTACULAR fine for my oblivious neighbor.
However, while I'm on the phone with Dorothy, I notice the wind begin to pick up. and by "Notice" I mean "The Industrial Saran Wrap he left on his Lawn earlier is suddenly swept up about 100 feet into the air by an updraft intense enough to make my ears pop" And by "Pick Up" I mean "I look up to see the sky has turned a fun and exciting shade of glass green, and the bottoms of the clouds are bumpy and rounded, and the overall effect is not unlike looking up through the bottom of the cup at God's Matcha Boba Tea."
For those of you who do not live in places with Inclement Weather, these conditions mean "You have about 30 seconds before a Major Meteorological Event Occurs."
I move under the eaves. "Hang on Dorothy." I say, nose filling with Petrichor. "The show is about to be cancelled." "Oh, that doesn't matter!" Dorothy cheerfully informs me. "It's illegal for him just to possess those, no matter if he actually gets to set them off or not." "Terrific, because he's gotten maybe five boxes out of a hundred inside."
Sometimes, the weather gods are Merciful and give you a verbal warning, typically in the kind of thunderclap that makes your ears ring.
The Gods were not merciful today.
It's not often that I am in the time, place, correct angle or in a properly observational frame of mind to see this, But I got to see it today. Huh. I thought. I've never seen a cloud just DIVE for the ground before. Oh. I realized as it got closer. That's RAIN.
Sometimes, a thunderstorm will form in such a way that the rain that would normally be distributed over an area of say, five to tent square miles, is instead concentrated into an area of say, my neighborhood exactly.
So today, I was granted the rare privilege of being able to actually see the literal wall of water descend from On High and DIRECTLY onto my porch, my street, and my neighbor's truck, and his pile of unwrapped fireworks.
The sheer impact force of the downpour immediately scatters the teetering pile of fireworks boxes in the back of the truck, like the wrath of God striking down the tower of Babel. Boxes tumble, then are washed out of the bed of the truck by the deluge. Smaller Boxes are carried down the road in a little line by the stream forming in the gutter, like little impotent explosive ducklings.
My neighbor was definitely yelling something, but I could not hear what over the DEAFENING noise several million gallons of water makes upon high-speed contact with the earth's surface, but there was a lot of arm-waving and faces turning red as he went looking for the saran wrap that had probably blown to Nebraska by now, while his wife started disassembling the complex three-dimensional puzzle of interlocking material goods in search of a tarp. They do not have a tarp. They have one of those wretched Thin Blue Line flags though, and my neighbor jogs out in a futile effort to cover what's left in the truck.
Which is when the hail begins.
"HELLO?" Yelled Dorothy. "HI!" I shouted. "WE'RE HAVING SOME WEATHER!" "OH GOOD!" she shouts back. "WE NEED THE MOISTURE!"
I watch for a minute longer, but the loss was immediate and catastrophic- the hail is the size of marbles and dense and cares not for your pitiful cardboard and cellophane, ripping the boxes asunder and punching holes in the few things covered in plastic. The colors on the Thin Blue Line Flag are seeping all over the remains of that it was supposed to protect in a particularly apt visual metaphor. Not even the few boxes that made it into the garage are spared, as the German Shepherd escapes from indoors, and in an attempt to assist her humans, jumps directly into the small stack of not-yet-ruined boxes, scattering them into the driveway and deluge. She even picks one up so her humans will chase her around the yard, before dropping it in the gutter to be swept away.
So. I was raised Agnostic -but even I can recognize when God slaps someone upside the head and shouts "NO!" at them.
---
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PREMARITAL HAND HOLDING???? 😱😱
i drew and posted this on twitter without spell checking rip and then had to do the follow up
What possessed her to commit such acts
I can’t believe this…. 💔
About to draw Carnival Ragatha being a SLUT (its just her showing her ankles)