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Hobbit ✨ everybody lives au ✨ where Bilbo stays to help rebuild Erebor but he and Thorin are still dancing around each other and their feelings and the company is tired of it so one day Fili and Kili tell Bilbo he really should braid his hair, to be more respectful of dwarven customs of course, and Bilbo may not exactly be a respectable hobbit anymore but he still has manners thank you, so after a bit of practice and failed attempts he does just that. The next day he greets Thorin with a bright smile, proud to show his interest in the company’s culture, but Thorin freezes and looks practically murderous and Fili and Kili are laughing to themselves of course but definitely hiding, and everyone around takes at least two steps back from Thorin who feels as though he has just had a mountain dropped on him because WHO IN MAHAL’S NAME BRAIDED BILBO’S HAIR WHO HAS BEEN COURTING HIS HOBBIT WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE