( Tlou V. ) - Blog Posts

" Not anymore maybe, but plenty of foods were pink before all this - all sorts of colours, especially sweet stuff, " Joel rolls his eyes, resisting the way his lips twitch, resisting the urge to grin. As reluctantly as he'd taken on protecting the kid, she was ( begrudgingly ) starting to grow on him.

And if the eager way she inhaled half the pot in one go was anything to go by, food was one way to make their journey a little more bearable. It leaves a twinge in his heart, reminds him of Sarah, of how she loved strawberry–

Nope. Wasn't going down that rabbit hole. Not here, not now.

Joel glances back at Ellie, noticing the pot being held near him. He nudges it back to her. " I'm not really a sweet person, you have it kid. " After all, he had to admit she'd earned it. Ellie was more adept than he'd given her credit for.

"Im not judging!" She defended taking the pudding cup that Joel had offered gingerly and poking at it with the spoon.

"Its just that most food isn't naturally pink and this looks-" she stopped short and tried a bite of the strawberry pudding thinking it over before trying another bite. and of course she had questions.

"And you had this stuff just lying around before everything went to shit? Was it like expensive? It tastes like it would be. What's it made out of?"

She offered Joel some because she had gotten used to splitting everything with him.

The thought of Ellie cutting his hair nearly gave Joel a heart attack – as much as loved cared for her, he would not trust that girl with scissors. Especially not near his head. Probably end up losing an eye or being bald, and he didn't know which was worse. Shaving wasn't exactly reassuring either, but not as much could go wrong there.

" I'm still handsome then ? " Joel jokes, raising his eyebrows as much as he could. It was more for her benefit than his, wanting to push through the pain and make this all seem less scary for her. It wasn't like a simple stab wound this time – he'd been beaten, his kneecap broken, stabbed in the neck... by all accounts, Joel should've died in that cabin.

Somehow he didn't. Somehow Ellie managed to get him, and a terrified disoriented Dina, back to Jackson. God, his kid was a force of nature. Joel couldn't be more proud, even with the fog of the painkillers pumping through his system. Thank fuck the girl... Anna? Andy? Abby? Yeah, Abby sounded familiar. Thank fuck she hadn't given Ellie the same treatment.

Despite all common sense screaming not to, Ellie's words cause Joel to give his leg an experimental shift. The sharp agony that shoots through his kneecap and down his leg make him hiss, face scrunching in discomfort. " Yep. Hurts like a bitch, " he wheezes in confirmation. Honestly, what else did he expect? The painkillers were good but they weren't miracle workers.

Her question prompts an internal assessment of his body. Other leg, while stiff, was pain free. All ten fingers could twitch, as far as he was aware. An attempt to turn his head was cut short at the tugging of stitches - a pleasant reminder that he very nearly didn't make it out alive.

" I'm good, kiddo. Most of me's workin', and if I've still got my good looks then we have nothin' to worry about, right? " Joel reassures her, shifting his hand so he could squeeze hers in return. " Just might be outta commission a lil' while longer... head hurts a ton, but eyes and ears are the same. "

He nearly makes a joke about Ellie being a nurse, but the fingers running through his hair distract him. He blinks away the exhaustion that tugs at him from the soothing motion. Injuries be damned, he refused to cut this time with Ellie short.

" What about you? She didn't hurt you or anythin' right? Or Dina? How'd you get us back here? " The questions blur together, whatever meds they had given him sapping away his usual verbal filter, much to his chagrin.

"Oh, I'm great," she answers sarcastically, "Catching up on my reading. You know me." He looks so injured. There is no other way to express it, because even the first time he was dying around her he didn't look so roughed up, so beaten, yet when he looks at her now he looks ten times better than back then. There is a light in his eye, like the fact that she's there means he's okay. Fucking Joel, she's mad at him because she can't be mad at him. But she gets it, she does. He's the first person who didn't leave her, and he keeps not leaving her, and normally that would be enough for her to be alright, if only the moment when Abby had stabbed him wasn't burned into her retinas, if only she didn't see him die every time she closed her eyes.

"I cut your hair. Nah, I'm kidding. I helped a nurse shave you and I shaved you once... Had to make sure you didn't look too terrible when you woke up. Don't wanna scare Dina. I kept the Joel-look." She can't ask if he's alright, she knows he can't be - or at least, not any more than pain killers can allow him to be, but she has so many questions about Abby. She needs to know before she goes to get her. "Your knee is gonna hurt like a bitch to fix, but you are out of danger, by the way. Doctors said you'll live. Obviously." She's not always touchy-feely, but in this case she feels it's justified, to carefully brush his hair with her hand, a comforting move to clash with her forced carefree tone. "But... does everything work? Can you still feel everything, can you see and hear the normal way? 'cause... I don't know how much you remember but you took some hits."

The sounds of the motion alarms being triggered had pulled the two men away from their lunch. Bill immediately grabbing his shotgun whilst Frank checked the cameras – a girl, young, being pursued by a large group of men. Whilst the pair tried to not get involved with outsider drama, it was difficult to ignore when it was outside your gates.. and when the victim was a poor young girl. Bill's morals may be shaky, but it didn't sit right with him at all.

Immediately, the couple was making their way to the gate. The girl's screams echoed in the distance, like an animal caught in a trap. A helpless sound, one of primal fear and desperation. Without hesitation, Bill raised his shotgun and aimed at the man closest to the fence. Then the next, and the next –

Frank, hands trembling, put in the gate code as fast as humanly possible. Barely waited for it to open before he pushed through, zeroing in on the girl. Gaze darts to her limping leg, the blood on her clothes as he grabs her as gently as possible, helping her back inside.

The last of the shots ring out, an eerie silence falling over them as Bill lowers his gun, gates closing with an affirming rattle. The couple exchange a look, a silent conversation. An ' are we really doing this? ' before Frank inhales sharply, kneeling down beside the girl.

Reaching out to touch her was a rookie mistake and he instantly pulls his hand away. Shushes her gently, holding his hands up to placate her. " I'm sorry, that was a poor move on my part, you don't need to apologise. " Frank keeps his voice soft, light. Concern fills his features at the sight of her injured leg. " That looks like it hurts – we have medical supplies, can patch you up if you'd like. Give you a bite to eat, somewhere to sleep, at least until you're better? " He gives her a choice - doesn't want to push her into staying with them, not if she's uncomfortable. " Or we can call some friends we have in the QZ... they could come get you, take you to shelter there. Your choice, no pressure. "

@fracturals x Bill & Frank She had been about to touch the fence so she could climb and run when the man had slammed into her, her fall making him tumble forward and hit the fence for her, electrocuting him with an unexpected explosion. But just when she thinks she can at least keep running she's grabbed again and lets out a blood-curling scream, adrenaline making her fight back and fall down with the other man.

She shrieks again, horrified, knowing his friends are coming, her flamethrower is empty, uselessly weighting on her shoulder, but she still tries to crawl away. She's never been so happy to see someone's head get blown off - though yeah, she's definitely adding that to the list of nightmares that also make her scream like that - and looks for the culprit, finding two men at the other side of the fence. They are also strangers, but beggars can't be choosers, and she doesn't even really get to beg for help because the one with the shotgun starts taking people out just like that. The other one, though, the other one opens the fence and comes to get her, looking worried. She's stunned, almost falling but held up so she can run on her injured leg, blood everywhere - hers, theirs - and terrified, but they let her in. They let her in. She barely realizes she's crying as the sounds of the fight die down, and her first reaction when one of their hands come too close to her again is to protect herself from the blow. The second one is to say "Sorry" because it can't be nice to be treated like savages when they just saved her, and "Thank you."

@hexlegends ; "What am I about to put in my mouth?" Ellie said suspiciously as Joel had handed her something to try.

It was something he'd found at Bill's, tucked in the back of a kitchen cupboard like it'd been forgotten about. A pack of assorted puddings ; chocolate, vanilla, strawberry... the classics. Whilst Ellie had been showering, he'd checked over the packaging ( non-perishable, perfect ) and shoved them in his backpack before she could emerge.

Something told him that the teen hadn't ever experienced proper sweet foods, cakes and puddings that weren't made with bare bones ingredients or had long since gone stale. So, when their short break for gas had came to an end, Joel had pulled one of the pudding cups out of his bag. Ripped off the lid to hide the name, dug out one of the spoons he'd also taken from Bill's kitchen and shoved it into the pudding before handing it to Ellie. The teen was getting bored with their travelling already - maybe the food would keep her quiet for a while.

" Just eat it, " Joel busies himself with pulling away from the side of the road, if only to stop himself from watching for her reaction like a hawk. " Don't judge it before you try it, unless you're afraid of flavour. "

When Hannah takes her hand, Ellie squeezes. Offers a reassuring smile. At this point, Ellie refused to let anyone else stop her from getting the experiences she'd been deprived off growing up in this world, and she was extending that to Hannah. If people were going to stare, Ellie wanted it to be from jealousy because they were having fun.

" Eh, most people would say that it's unnecessary anger or something instead of being cool – but I like that you think so, " Ellie shrugs, huffing out a laugh. She'd never considered herself cool - Ellie had always been the awkward kid, the weird kid, different from everyone else – literally, it was in her blood. Hannah thinking she was cool? That was fucking awesome.

" Come on, Han. Let's get our groove on, " Ellie wiggles her eyebrows at the other teen as she starts to pull her towards the dance floor. Could Ellie dance? Absolutely not. But she wanted to make Hannah feel better, and she'd read about dances before. Proms and parties and weddings - things she'd never get to do. It sucked.. but maybe this would make life suck a little less.

Ellie sounds so genuine - she'd say her friends had sounded genuine when accepting to spend the weekend with her, but had they? Maybe Sam, and just how much she had been involved in that prank was unknown.

The fact that she doesn't give a damn about what anybody thinks is obvious, so that's a point in her favor, but Hannah still hesitates, squeezing her eyes close for a moment to erase the flash of a camera recording her at her most humiliating moment, forget that day that led to the worst night of her life. "Okay," she murmurs, opening her eyes again. They come and go, these flashes, and all she can do is push them away. At least when she's awake.

"Okay," she repeats. She knows how to dance, she and Beth danced and sang together a lot, sometimes Josh would join in for laughs - oh, bad train of thoughts - and people aren't even looking, it seems, so she decides to take Ellie's hand. It feels so nice to touch another person, one she trusts, and her expression softens, even if she can't find in herself to smile. Not ever, if she's honest, but even less so after such a scare. Still, being able to soften up and not panic is a win that she owes to Ellie. "You'd really punch people for making fun of you, wouldn't you?" she asks with a hint of regret, or maybe jealously, because that certainly was not her reaction.

"You are always so cool, Ellie."

Sarah immediately grins at the confirmation, warm and friendly. A lot of her old shirts weren't really her style anymore, leaning more towards copying Maria's style now they'd settled in Jackson. She didn't have to make do with a more childish style anymore, taking whatever they found that fit her - it seemed her old clothes were either teenaged or something an old man would wear. Gross.

" Hey, hey, it's okay. I don't mind at all, " Sarah is quick to reassure, hand settling on her hip as she looks Hannah up and down approvingly. " It suits you more anyways. You should keep it – in fact, I bet I have tons of old stuff I can give you back at my place. " They were a sharing community anyways, always trading or borrowing due to resources being limited. Not like they could go down to the mall anymore.

" Seriously, come back to ours and I'll give you a whole new wardrobe. Free of charge. "

@fracturals: ❛ are you wearing my shirt? ❜ ( sarah miller, au where she lives )

"Maybe." She is. It's the right size too, such a nice change from all the crap she's found in the last few months. "Your dad's fault, Miller. He said I could." Not that Sarah seems mad about it, but she'd like to make clear she's not a thief. "Mine got all bloodied up... not my blood. Not people's blood. I slipped on a dead crawler, super gross... Is this okay? I'll wash it before I give it back."

When Hannah had grabbed the jacket and left in a blur of pink, Ellie could only blink. It took a moment for her mind to catch up, sharing a confused look with a stunned Maria before the teen ran out after Hannah. Jesus, she was fast - Ellie had to take a minute to catch her breath once Hannah finally stopped running.

" Holy shit, " was all Ellie could muster at first, listening to Hannah's story. She'd seen a lot in her life, in the QZ and on her journey will Joel, but falling off a cliff? That was insane! If the brunette hadn't seen people survive intense scenarios before, she'd have found it hard to believe that Hannah could go through that and still be standing here.

" So... Beth, she saved you? From the cliff? " Ellie tread carefully, not wanting to upset Hannah further. But she wasn't an idiot, she understood the implications. Hannah was here now, Beth wasn't. The jacket was special because it belonged to Hannah's sister. " That's why the jacket means so much. "

The teen's hand dipped into her pocket, fingers smoothing over the handle of her pocket knife. The one that had been with her since birth - all she had of her mother. " I get how that feels – having something that belonged to someone special. That losing it would... "

She sighs. Hand rubs her neck, antsy. " I don't think Maria meant to upset you. But don't worry, I've had my moments with her too. I'm sure if you explain to her, she won't touch the jacket again without permission or whatever - but washing it would probably be a good idea, right? "

@fracturals asked: ❛ do you want to share this? ❜ ( ellie )

The way she reacted when Maria had picked up her jacket, with the simple intention of getting it cleaned, one would have thought they were about to throw a baby into the dirty laundry. Hannah had ran out after - still, still that damn habit of running out - holding the jacket, the pink jacket, Beth's jacket, too embarrassed to explain why she had freaked out. But when Ellie had reached her, she had felt slightly better. Slightly.

"It was my sister's." It was all she had been able to say until that question.

"It was the... it was the last thing she gave me... I had a bad night..." That's one way to put it, but she doesn't have the courage to discuss the prank now. She had been so stupid. "And I ran outside, in the snow... like I did now, but without a jacket. She followed me... she gave me this jacket..." she repeats, holding it tightly. Squeezing her eyes closed, she tries to erase the image of Beth's body. "Her name was Beth... she was my twin, actually, but she was... so much prettier and awesome... and brave... and then I slipped off a cliff. And she grabbed me and wouldn't let me go..." she should have.

The residents of Jackson were certainly nice. So willing to help strangers, to accept refugees even with the risks that came alongside accepting people you don't know. They'd taken in Joel and Ellie, more than once. Gave them clothes, a home, food - gave Ellie the first taste she'd have of a normal life. No wonder Tommy had settled there, had decided to start a family. It was the closest to normal they'd ever get again.

" For a lot of these people, acting normal is coping. Everyone deals with things in... different ways, and most people aren't built for what this world demands. " Just because the world as you know it ends, doesn't mean people magically become violent, become killers. Most who do are only like it because something made them that way... Joel included.

He didn't know what happened to Hannah, that was something for the teen to share in her own time, on her own terms. But he did know that it likely wasn't easy for her. Hell, even Ellie had struggled for a while when they first came back to Jackson, reeling in the aftermath of whatever that asshole tried to do to her, and then with the loss of the fireflies.

" Tommy helped because he's a big softie at heart. He likes people, gets on with them. Wants to help everyone he can, " Joel's gaze travels, spotting said brother in the distance. Chatting away with a group of residents, laughing and smiling in that easy way he always had. Joel felt a twinge in his heart.

" Besides, he likes you. That helps. I can't speak for other people, but this world is... people want to help or hurt others, doesn't seem to be an inbetween anymore. But at least here there only seems to be help.. better than the world out there." Joel gestures towards the large walls.

" You're right though, Jury's still out on the cult thing. Guess we'll have to wait and see." His lips twitch, the closest thing to a smile Joel had offered anyone but Ellie or Tommy in a long time.

Oh, Joel knows what he's talking about, Hannah has heard enough - whispers and implied words alike - to never doubt Joel and Tommy have seen some crazy things in their lives and have had plenty of time to both react and, maybe, recover. She hums thoughtfully, considering his words and trying to feel comforted by them. "Everybody is being so nice to me here... It makes me feel a little crazy, like I'm all scared for nothing," she admits, crossing her arms to hug her chest, shield herself from the awkwardness, "I never thought I'd be around normal people again, you know? I just... expected to be dead by now, easy." It was almost easier, emotionally, to deal with being alone in the wilderness: at least there she knew how to feel and she felt that way most of the time. Here it was one surprise after another.

"I don't understand why Tommy helped me. What he gets out of it. I always meet people who either save me or want to slaughter me and there is no in between, and I don't understand." And that's kind of her big problem here, isn't it? Because trusting people led her there in the first place. Same as not understanding people before they show their true colors. "I'm still not sure this isn't a cult or something. I'm only giving it the benefit of the doubt because of Ellie."

Waking was strange. A sensation reminiscent of emerging from murky waters, his vision slowly shifting from darkness, to blurry muddled shapes. His hearing, already beaten over the years, was muffled for a moment. Made it impossible to pinpoint the distant footsteps until they were right by his ear – his good ear, like the person knew his left one worked better.

Their voice, achingly familiar, pulled Joel upwards out of the murky waters his body had been trapped within. He could still hear Ellie's distant cries, the sound of the golf club –

No. This wasn't that cold hard floor, the surface underneath him was soft and warm. He couldn't hear shouting or crying, only... Ellie. With a pained exhale, Joel forced his eyes fully open. As his vision cleared, brown hair and worried eyes came into view. The gentle squeeze to his hand was a notable contrast to the slight bite of her words, and the man's lips twitched upwards.

" Hey kiddo, " Joel's voice is tired, croaky. The movement tugs on his healing cuts and bruises, but the ache clears his mind. Let him focus on his daughter Ellie. He longs to reach out, to comfort the teen, but his limbs are all heavy and disconnected. Won't cooperate yet.

" Sorry to scare you.. just needed some rest, that's all. Are... are you alright? " It was easy to forget that he was the one in the hospital bed, concern for her consuming him.

He didn't know much, remembered hearing someone mention that he'd been unconscious for a long while – and his heart ached that he'd left Ellie alone for that long, had missed so much. Joel knew Ellie well enough to know chances were she'd done something reckless - but whether she'd tell him was a different story.

@fracturals x Joel from this Ellie

It takes all she has not to start crying when she's finally allowed to see Joel, the doctors baffled but done with all their tests; he's a beast, obviously, she knew he'd wake up. She knew. It's why she refused to go sleep at home - but of course he woke up while she was in the bathroom - and why she's still there in Jackson, she had to see him with her own eyes. Because he had to. He had to. "That was one f.ucking way to make me forgive you, Joel," her voice shakes, she can't help it. Okay, she wasn't completely sure he'd wake up, but he had to, right? Where would she be now if he hadn't? Ellie holds onto one of those little pieces of his body that isn't broken, and squeezes it gently. "You took way too long to wake up. Waaay too long, you a.sshole." He's actually going to live, so he doesn't get sweet words from her, no sir. There's no better way to let him know they are cool and that he'll be fine, if you ask her.

When he found Tommy again, the last thing Joel expected was for his brother to have a teenage stray of his own by his side. It had shocked him, sure, but it also made his situation with Ellie seem less strange. The girl, Hannah, was clearly going through some shit – it was far too familiar. Joel remembered having the same dark disposition for a hell of a long time after losing Sarah.

Hell, if it weren't for Ellie he'd still be like it now. But she'd managed to slip under the barricades he'd spent years forming, become as close to a daughter as another child ever could. It would be impossible to ever replace Sarah, but Ellie had carved a place next to her in his heart

He was glad that, hopefully, Ellie and Tommy could do the same for Hannah. Joel knew they'd be good for her - and him? Well, he'd probably be better off supporting from the sidelines.

" I know how you feel, kid. " It's easy to admit, his voice soft. Just for her, a private conversation. " It doesn't feel right - how at ease everyone is. Like they don't know what's out there. " It was all a big game of pretend, the man knew that. Behind big walls and lacking weapons, it was easy to pretend things were different. That the world hadn't ended, that infected weren't roaming outside, and that the people out there weren't WORSE.

" If you ask me, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Your body's survival instincts will wake you up - comfortable or not, we can sense danger, " Joel turns to look at Hannah, aware this was the closest he'd ever stood to the girl. It was certainly a sense of discomfort for the both of them, neither were eager to let people close. He shifts slightly, creating a little more of a gap as subtly as could.

@fracturals asked: ❛ can’t sleep? ❜ ( joel )

"Too much noise. People here aren't scared enough." She knows it's a weird answer the moment it comes out of her mouth; she hasn't been in Jackson long, but it has been enough to start reminding her of what it's like to be among regular people and how most of them, while careful about infected, don't have to live in fear every second of the day here. She was like that, once. Now it feels weird to sleep too many hours straight. It feels weird that she didn't pull a gun on Joel just because he came too close - she almost did, she always touches her knife or whatever weapon she has when someone besides Ellie does. But she's getting a bit used to him, at least. Something about this man feels safe - same with Tommy. Not creepy at all. "I keep thinking... if I get used to... to the noises and I sleep through them... some day a bite will wake me up. I won't be here forever, I can't... I can't get comfortable."

Ellie had been standing on the sidelines enough herself tonight, so when she saw Hannah also hovering at the edge of the dancefloor, looking uncomfortable and alone, she had immediately made her way over. Held out her hand, almost nervously, and asked the other to dance.

What Ellie wasn't expecting was Hannah's whispered pleading, her wide eyes and desperate expression. The very fact Hannah thought Ellie was cruel enough to play a prank on her almost made anger bubble up inside the girl.

But Ellie held her tongue, ignoring the hurt and instead offering a small yet genuine smile. " It's not a prank, I promise, " she insists, her own gaze leaving Hannah for a moment to glance around them. Checking that no one was daring to laugh.

" I just want to dance with my friend, forget about the outside world for a bit – and hey, if anyone tries to laugh or say anything, I'll punch them. Right in the nose! " Her tone is warm yet weighted – Ellie isn't bluffing. Any trouble would be met with five-foot-something of pure fury. Nobody messes with her friends.

" So? What do you say? Even if it's just one dance, it might be fun - and this is a good song. "

@fracturals ❛ may i have this dance? ❜ ( ellie )

Instantly, her eyes search the room for malicious smiles and giggling, widening in alarm while she finds none and returning to Ellie. Of course. Of course. Ellie is cool, too cool to actually be friendly. "Whatever this is, please don't," she whispers. Hannah wishes she could sound tough, menacing, but the thought of being mocked again makes her legs weaker than any infected could. "Please. I can't stand pranks." She doesn't get it yet, but she's assuming that dancing together is already weird as it is, but her doing it? Ellie's other friends will likely point fingers and laugh at how awkward she is.