To See This - Blog Posts

Cale is so ready to take on everything.

I’m rereading the heart scene and, just- his life as Kim Rok Soo had such an impact on how he handles pressure, it’s actually sad. When he was KRS, people relied on him. Heavily. As the team leader, people saw him as a life line.

He never took breaks, he put himself in danger and sacrificed his well-being by using his abilities (for example, Instant), and as we hear later on- he had a 0% mortality rate. When people around him were weak, he became strong in order to overcome it. Nobody died when he became the Team Leader.

And in the world they lived in- yes! I’m not surprised at all that people latched onto him. No matter how much they care about him, they couldn’t help but allow him to save them. Over and over again.

So Cale had this expectation for himself too! When others give up -> he does not. In front of impossible tasks, he rises up, because that’s how it should be. How could someone who had so little as a child- no parents, no friends, no stability or safety or reliability- how could he possibly give up what he’s managed to attain? How could he let his friends get hurt when he knows that he could be hurting instead?

And then he becomes Cale, and he relaxes. His new companions are strong, and he’s not going to be with them for very long anyway. He will slack off, chill out, and take his hands off the wheel.

But he can’t- he just can’t stop helping them. Like an addiction, he helps Choi Han get a connection to Ron and Beacrox. Then he saves Raon. He helps Lock, Amiru, Mary, Alberu, Queen Litana. It’s fucking impulsive. It’s for his own benefit but he tangles himself into the story because tampering with Fate is a fucking side hobby for him.

Then he develops relationships and friends- and when he sees danger approaching he stands up against it like a solid wall. Over and over again.

And, what? He naturally expects the people behind him to stay behind that wall. To listen to him and help, but to stay safe in the long run. He expects them back off when something looks impossible. Because- well, he’s right here isn’t he? Overcoming the impossible is second nature for him!

But the people around him… aren’t standing by passively, like they did when he was KRS. When he was KRS they let him protect them for 15 years. Then he’s Cale Henituse and they don’t. They learn from him. They learn to stand up against the unpredictable and the indomitable. They see him and learn.

They aren’t happy about his sacrifices, but he tells them to be full and content and to eat well… so they listen. For a while. They understand wisdom and they take his words and learn their limitations.

Right until he stabs himself in the heart. What the fuck?! Biggest hypocrite in history right??! Can’t trust this guy to not bleed and sacrifice himself for shit!!!

So they angrily push aside his worry and their limits and they decide that it’s THEIR turn to protect him. Even against a GOD, Cale has shown them that nothing is impossible so they’re going to turn the tables and THEY’RE going to be the ones to cough blood!!

This scene is so heart wrenching, but it’s Cales disbelief that hurts the most. He’s fucking stunned. He’s someone who can’t even imagine the lengths that a person would go for him. He’s a person who protects without ever expecting to receive that same effort.

Sure, he knows he’ll be protected. He’s not naive. But he puts 200% and expects 50-100%. He goes above and beyond, but prepares for average. Prepares for lackluster.

So when everyone tries to push him aside to protect him? He- he doesn’t even notice their efforts! It’s like looking for a leaf in a forest, but he’s supposed to be looking at the entire forest. Why would he think that they would give him a forest’s worth of leaves? He’s oblivious. So he looks for a single leaf.

Then they really do push him back and protect him- they defend against the orb that’s exploding and it’s like they’re screaming “It’s the forest! It’s always been the forest!”

And he’s lost. Absolutely, utterly lost. It’s heartbreaking, how distressed he is that his friends are hurting and they won’t let him handle it for them. He’s not even hurt, after all! He hasn’t fainted, he’s still useful! He’s ready! What he’s done so far hasn’t even been too difficult! Why won’t they let go and give it to him?

Everyone is so angry at him, or busy pitying him, that he’s left alone with this. While reading this scene I’m filled with a strong disconnect. He is surrounded by his friends but everyone is far away from him. Their goals have never been farther apart than this moment.

He’s always been one step ahead.

He’s always been ready. He’s always waiting.

And then he stabbed himself in the heart, and everyone but him felt the shift in the stars.

And then the next scenes are his friends trying to wrestle the responsibility out of his white-knuckles hands. They fight for it! Yet all the way until the orb’s time to explode, he holds onto it with an iron grip. I don’t even think he realized they were trying to take it out of his hands.

He kills the White Star, he Embraces the Ancient Powers, and he even manages to Embrace the Sealed God into the book and take over the temple in one move. We get to see everyone’s reactions to his stubbornness too.

So they become twice as stubborn. They cough up blood, they faint, they do 200% of what they’re naturally capable of. Why?

Because they saw Cale do it first. Because they refuse to let him do it again.

And Cale?

He can’t say anything.