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the amount of hate i’ve experienced as a tman/tmasc is so shocking especially because a lot came from online queers and even other trans folk.
it disheartened me a lot seeing how trans men are treated online, ESPECIALLY by trans people and queers. we’re often forgotten, fetishized, have femininity forced on us, and are treated like villains for wanting to be / being men. even IN queer communities too!!
ive seen a post here on tumblr where someone was trying to vent in a trans discord server about how trans men are treated and usually ignored and erased and other trans people chimed in, telling him that its his fault because “of course he would be. no one wants to be around a masculine man”.
a trans woman (who used to act on the hate/undermined the hate and discrimination tmen/tmascs go through) once told me on reddit that it often comes from them being uncomfortable with masculinity as a whole so some of them would force it on us then blame us whenever we got upset over the way we’re treated.
i was once even told by a trans medicalist that i wasnt trans because i never experienced dysphoria before and i almost believed them since i didnt know much about trans stuff at the time!! if it werent for the people rightfully calling them out on it and telling me that i could instead have gender euphoria (which i do!!) and if it werent for them i wouldnt have realized that i was trans.
im lucky enough that i dont get much dysphoria or dysmorphia dressing fem still and actually love dressing that way! its just annoying how much its expected of us since we “were women at some point”. we’re fetishized in stereotypically feminine ways (ie: ftm porn often has us bottoming or doing more “fem” roles)
but then again, all this hate towards tmen/tmascs came from twitter and a subreddit thats well known for hating non binary tmen so LMAO dont know what i expected
I was a teenager when ace and transmed discourses were at their peaks, and I can’t exaggerate how badly it affected me then.
Now trans men are the latest target, and I’m terrified for trans kids.
It’s easy to say “intracommunity discourse is an online problem! Go talk to queer people irl!”, but people forget that so many kids and teenagers do not have safe or reliable access to IRL LGBT+ communities and support groups. For many, online spaces are the only option.
We need to make sure the younger members of our community are being heard, and block out the hateful voices with messages of support and encouragement. Things are bad enough for trans people right now, and it's easy to forget that trans minors are often the ones suffering the most.
The hate you are experiencing isn’t normal, it hasn’t always been like this, and it won’t always be this way. It is bleeding out from a small, miserable group of self-absorbed jerks.
Don’t feel obligated to call them out, don’t feel like you have to interact with these people. Please don’t doomscroll through discourse tags; it will make you feel like everyone is out to get you.
If you want to speak up for your community, that’s fine, but please take a break if you feel like your mental health is worsening. Block anybody who so much as breathes rudely in your direction.
You’re just as trans as the rest of us. You are welcome here.
Oh, and if you want to seek out external resources and groups, PFLAG helped me a lot when I was younger. It is an American-based organization, however, so if anyone has recommendations for those living outside of the US, please let me know in the reblogs!