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Now that the leaves are changing, we're officially in spooky season. And so I gotta ask, why can't vampires just eat blood in media? No, they have to act like they're giving carotid fellatio, wasting more than they're actually consuming, drenching everything from jaw to bellybutton and rubbing their nipples they're so excited to eat.
I'd think after the first decade or so it would be commonplace to eat blood as a vampire. I've had steak so good it was sublime, but never did I want to roll around with it on the table, rubbing it against my naked flesh to become one with my dinner.