I Love The Concept Of Divorce Lawyers. The Only Things In The World That Have The Power To Undo Your

Freelancing in technical theater means you’re on a lot of different email lists. People need a crew, they send out an email, you respond with your availability. Now, most people start these with things like “hey folks” or “hi everyone”. Neal is not most people.

His openers started off innocent enough.

Then, he started to push boundaries.

And as you can see, it has spiraled out of control since then.

Remember, that line of thinking doesnt get you any closer to the cup or the scepter

girl shocked to discover that inaction can have consequences too

brain: slartibartfast

me: huh?

brain: that was a dude from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, remember?

me: yeah, what about it?

brain: yeah

took a nap and Came Back Wrong

everyone always asks "where did you get that information" and "why are you covered in blood" but nobody ever asks how was the time loop was the time loop fun it looked fun

yeah im over it *dies one thousand deaths*

"I had a wife but they took her in the divorce" is a Groucho Marx level joke. pure vaudeville. it's semantically perfect, blisteringly fast, and completely efficient. just an unbelievable stroke of genius which was apparently a complete accident. you could tell this joke onstage at any period in history between probably 1500 and now and get a genuine guffaw

a gentleman so flat and boobless you could skip him across the water like a prized stone

Do you think the Jack of all trades and the master of one explored each others bodies