agentjayrock

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The Phantom of Hip-Hop Terminology

Roid Steiner

This term is used to describe Koala Kong in Crash Bandicoot. This is a reference to allegations of pro wrestler, Scott Steiner, for steroid use. Of course we at Phantom, Inc. wouldn't think Big Poppa Pump was actually juicing, now.

Mini-Me

This is used to address N. Brio in Crash Bandicoot as such. Don't know why, but Phantom sees Brio as Dr. Evil's partner in crime. Maybe because of his height?

Crocodile Dundee

Sorry, Dingodile. We couldn't come up with a more original joke to call you Aussies.

Dr. Negro Cortex

This is what Phantom addresses Dr. Neo Cortex as in Crash Bandicoot. Now, this is clever joke. For those that don't know, "negro" was used as a word to label folk with dark skin in the United States in the early 20th century. Hence why "Negro League Baseball" existed in those times, for example.

LowTierGod

This is how Phantom sees Tiny Tiger from Crash Bandicoot. LowTierGod, also known as Dale Wilson, is a member of the FGC (Fighting Game Community) with a catalog of infamous moments documented throughout the Internet. One of the biggest being his scrawny lower body in contrast with buff torso, making him resemble that of Tiny Tiger's. The similarities are uncanny.

Bitch-Ass

This is what Phantom pejoratively calls Rilla Roo from Crash Bandicoot. This is based on YouTuber, DashieXP's, rivalry with Donkey Kong in various Nintendo games. It all started on Mario Kart 8 where Dashie had become Donkey's target nearly every race, leading to the label of "Donkey Bitch-Ass". With Phantom, it started on Crash Bash. Just by sight of him, he couldn't stand dealing with Rilla Roo with how tough the game is to play as he sees him as nothing more than a Dingodile wannabe.

Piece

What Phantom refers to the biggest pistol or one-handed firearm in a video game. For example, THIS:

You can't fuck wit deez legs.

Phantom's interjection towards a character that performs Taekwondo in a video game. Such as:

Hwoarang in Tekken

Juri Han in Street Fighter

Kim Kaphwan in Fatal Fury

House Niggas

What Phantom refers to the first set of enemies in Urban Reign. The origin of the term goes back to the times of the Transatlantic slave trade in the United States as it was used to address slaves that performed involuntary labor in their slave-owner's home. When referring to the first enemies in Urban Reign, Phantom sees them as pushovers compared to the Zaps, which are depicted as a much more intimidating gang. Not sure how this works as an insult, since those house slaves had a lighter skin tone, and some of those first enemies have darker skin. Guess he wanted to insult like the Angry Preacher.

Swole DMX

What Phantom refers to Napalm 99, one of the major bosses in Urban Reign. Napalm reminds Phantom of the late hip-hop artist, DMX, face-wise, with a much larger frame. You think those cats can handle the dog?

You got tha best shit.

How Phantom reacts to when a character is equipped with the most convenient paraphernalia in a game, especially when they specialize in using it. When the going gets tough, you gotta use what you have.

Brock Lesnar wit Mike Tyson's tattoo

How Phantom describes The Monster, Golem, in Urban Reign. This is self-explanatory: he looks like Brock Lesnar with a face tattoo similar to Mike Tyson's. Imagine someone with the prowlness of them both combined in real life...

Kazuma Kiryu's homies

What Phantom refers the Mushin-Kai in Urban Reign. Since they're basically yakuza, why not a Kiryu Kazuma reference?

Big Bitch

What Phantom addresses Alcina Dimitrescu as in Resident Evil: Village. She's a 9-foot tall giantess of domination. So tall, she'll make Shaqille O' Neal get into the fetal position at the sight of her.

Chucky's Side Bitch

This is what Phantom calls Angie, the doll of Donna Beneviento, in Resident Evil: Village. Got a question for you, Chucky: does Tiffany Valentine know anything about this?

Fish outta Water

How Phantom sees Salvatore Moreau in Resident Evil: Village. Poor guy just wanted some affection.

Homeless Magneto

What Phantom calls Karl Heisenberg in Resident Evil: Village. Humans have always been scum to mold-kind. No wonder why Heisenbergis so grumpy.

Queen of the Jesus Freaks

How Phantom describes Mother Miranda in Resident Evil: Village. Quite a god complex you got there, hon.

Spider-Man's Offsprings

What Phantom refers to any spider-like character he encounters in video games. Poor MJ. Those ovaries gotta be screaming in pain going through so much reproduction of those spiderlings.

How much Phantom do you watch?

If you even do, you're probably wondering what the hell he's talking about most of the time when he's live. Well, worry no more: Introducing the Phantom Terminology...soon. When I start writing it, it'll contain all the things Phantom said and their meanings. So the next time you watch a Phantom stream, you'll have a better understanding and enjoyment of the show.

Oh, you want me to give you feedback, Uber? What a delight! Because, boy, do I have some things to say...

Problably the poorest timing to mention this...

I'm hosting a radio show on Phantom TV today. I have some thoughts that might be best to share with a voice to be heard. Best part is that you get join in the live discussion and share your thoughts. Tune in at this link: https://phantominc.tv/main-show-kick

Uber? Lyft? What the hell is going on?

Ever had to contact customer support and heard over an automated voice instead of a human? How about contacting them and once you explain to them your issues only for them to give you ready-made responses as they haven't clue of what you're talking about? Well, that's been my excrcuiating experience as a driver for both companies at the same time. So, let's dive into how ludicrous it's been.

Let's start with Uber since it's rich with crazy stories. Uber has kind of a fair hourly wage going $25-30. You can receive payments on weekly basis like most jobs and contracts. Or you can have instant access to your money and even cash out once you've finished your shift with the Pro Card. Of course, I would choose the latter because why not? Normally I cash out directly to my debit card and needed I new one some time ago. I went in to change the details for the new card and had to undergo a security code verification via text message. I never received it so I had to contact support. I explained the issue I had and was told to whilelist my phone number from a text message. That's strange. How come I can receive text messages from Pro Card just fine when logging in, but not for this? Because this didn't work. I thought that this had to be a problem in their end. Now, a good tech support agent would troubleshoot such an issue should a solution like that not work. Not here; they "took it to further support" (Bear with here. I couldn't remember exactly what they said.) in order to resolve my issue. Their response: logout and in, reinstall the app and restart my phone. None of that worked because it's the most half-assed set of solutions of all time. Imagine if EA told you do that with their games you try to boot up. It'll just add the notoriety they're known for having.

It didn't feel like I was chatting with a human, so I decided to call support for a better chance. I had to wait (Get ready for this) ONE MOTHERFUCKING HOUR just to talk with someone. I can't believe I had the patience for that. I finally get to talk with an agent, only for them to tell me the same. Damn. Thing. Dude, what the fuck? Is Uber run by Skynet or something?! I kept contacting until I remembered why I had to whitelist the phone number I've been using with my account: it's because it's believed that it was being blocked by the provider. The number here is one I had setup for business reasons via TextFree, so I contacted them about it and they told me there was no issue on their end. Is Uber screwing with at this point? But, I went and switched the number on my account to my personal one, thinking that the business number is being assumed to be a VoIP, which is not allowed with some services. I finally get the code needed to finalize debit card changes to my Pro Card account.

Now this next story really interfered with my job significantly. I've been doing rideshare look normal, steady with a consistent schedule I setup for myself. The one thing that annoys me is that I have to verify my facial identity every once in a while. I mean, you know what I look like. Nothing too drastic has changed about me. So, why do I gotta go through this as I begin the job at a desired time? One day, I randomly go into the trip preferences menu to see it go from this:

To this:

Note: the Uber Eats food delivery preference is suppose to be there, but I didn't take a screenshot before it disappeared.

Of course, I had to talk to an agent. But this was more aggravating. I tried my damnedest to explain this issue. The agent, however, couldn't seem to figure out what I mean. Did they not have any job training? Once that was sorted, the agent said things like "This should be the type of experience for you to have" or "We understand your concern". Do ya, really? Because you should've went deeper into it by now. Continuing with this chat, guess what they told me then: the same solution from the Pro Card "troubleshoot", but that didn't work because THE APP IS NOT THE FUCKING PROBLEM! I disconnected and got in contact with a different agent. This bullshit repeated, but I got a whole new response. I got confirmation of my eligibility to have these preferences, including UberXL, and it was still approved. They also actually spent the time to look into it for a few minutes, although it was longer than. The problem involved the inspection of the vehicle I have registered. They wanted me to show an image of a newly documented inspection, but I don't have to worry about it for another 6 months. In my state at least, (I'm from the USA) I have to perform an annual inspection for legal validity of driving the vehicle, and it's $100. Doing this every 6 months makes no sense and it feels like it'll lead to an endless money pit, as a certain mechanic would say.

After that was sorted, I went back to doing the job like normal, only for it to happen again the next week. Starting to feel like Uber has a grudge against me. I go back to dealing with the same ol' crap more frustrated than ever, even angry, and get an unexpected response: I'm not eligible to perform UberXL rides. Well, isn't this the most inept thing to happen here? I drive a minivan, goddammit. What do you mean I'm not eligible? I just disconnected and almost didn't bother to reach another agent. But, I'm managed to collect myself and get it sorted out like last time. I'm certain this will happen again however.

On the Lyft side of things, the same issue with support, except this is about emblems. Speaking of those emblems, the adhesive is weak sauce. So, I needed new ones. You can order new ones from the site or app with the push of a button. It's suppose to arrive within week, but didn't as that time range passed. I had to contact an agent, but it was hard to do it on the app because for some reason, they have too high of expectations that problems are solved with FAQs. But this is a troubleshooting issue; there's no way they can believe things can work fine that easily all the time. I had to go to the site to get help, and they responded by arranging a new order, which did arrive. Thing is, I've had this problem since I first signed up. I didn't even get my training kit with the cool pink mustache. After those emblems wear out too soon, I had to order another pair. Here's me thinking "Maybe they sorted out that issue with the delivery". But something even worse happened:

And as of the date of this blog post, it's still like this. Why? I even contacted them with this screenshot and they just gave me an automated message saying they'll just reship the emblems. This shouldn't have to be the only way to obtain new emblems beside the Express Hubs, which is too far from where I live. And they didn't arrive this time. If I contact them about any other problem, it'll just be the same type of response instead of troubleshooting.

Now, I don't know too much about the experience with support for riders since I've not used rideshare often. But I'm sure there's similar issues. The fact that this is the type of support we receive is unacceptable. It's as if they only measure their success financially based on the quantity of users. With the money they make, you'd think they could hire more competent employees for tech support, but they just found some random people with barely any tech skills to speak of and brought them in. There's got to be some kind of union strike or something because we can't keep letting them get away with this.

Holy crap. I've had Xbox LIVE for 15 years.

I've just learned about the 15th anniversary of Xbox's "Summer of Arcade", which is the gaming sale of a lifetime for those that never heard of Steam sales before. But, for only six years, it featured some of most popular and highly acclaimed games at the time including Braid, "Splosion Man, and my favorite, Dust: An Elysian Tail. Obviously this post won't be about that stuff; this one's about my Xbox LIVE history. So, let's go.

Summer of 2007, a month after my 13th birthday. I was in contact with one of my classmates as we were holding up until the school year started and he yearned to convince me to join Xbox LIVE. Thing is, I was hesitant on even composing an online account due to privacy concerns and pricing (in terms of needing a credit/debit card) at the time. But I eventually discovered the world of gift cards as a bypass to those credit cards and jumped right in. Now, this isn't the first time I've had an online gaming experience; prior to Xbox LIVE, I've played online games on the PS2 and had some memorable moments there. But playing video games with a friend from a distance was a more extraordinary time.

When I started to play with random players, I expected a similar experience during my times with the PS2. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening. The players were verbally callous and short-tempered, even when I tried to have an insightful conversation. It phased me at first but I learned to tough it out since the idea of playing online progressively became more interesting because of IRL friends. With them, I've had some hilarious moments playing games online.

Continuing with my time on Xbox LIVE, I learned about digital releases of games purchased with the discontinued Microsoft Points. This is where the gift cards come into play again. So I got a bunch of games like Geometry Wars and Assault Heroes. This is where I first started to like the idea of buying games without going to the store.

I wanted all sorts of games in the marketplace, so bad that I would do anything to have them. That's how I stumbled upon one of the biggest scams on the Net: Microsoft Points generators. These used to be all the rage simply for the fact that they promised you free Microsoft Points. I download one of these generators, entered the credentials it asked for and...nothing. I was made a fool by this generator as I didn't receive any free points. Well, I could've been worse: I could've had my account stolen. There were real reports of that, too. These generators were mainly a "hacking" ploy that somewhat worked considering how gullible people were back then. Mind you, I was a teen so my choices weren't so sound. This managed to get Microsoft's attention, leading to a rewards program where you perform some tasks, like using the Bing search engine, to safety obtain points for free. And it's still used to this day.

Going back into playing with friends, I still kept in contact with them through Xbox LIVE while transitioning into high school. Some few months going in, I've noticed some changes in them. One of them in particular was so bothered by my tastes in videogames, I ended up demanding me to play the same games as he (typically, these were shooters. Yeah, the Call of Duty craze at the time.). Now, I've no problem with first-person shooters. I used to hate them because of having to move around in first person and aiming manually. But, that's literally all he plays compared to me playing a variety since childhood. Then, I had to put up with his insults and reluctantly played with him. I felt like lost some self-respect and wondered "why the hell am I still friends with him?" At least I had a better time with the friends I made I'm high school, but I was so emotionally charged about my other "friends", I couldn't even enjoy myself as well as I wanted. So, I finally cut those so-called friends out of my life after graduation. Never felt so free in a while.

Nowadays, I play Xbox LIVE less often since I've been PC gaming full-time if that makes sense to say. I only ever play with online friends. Plus, I have way better gaming peers I met in college. Wonder what great memorable times I'm gonna have in the future?

Oh, look. I'm on tumblr.

This isn't the first time I've written a blog through tumblr, however. I still remember back in high school in 2011 I first opened a blog posting the funniest things I could find on the Internet. Then, about 7 years later, I basically said "Fuck this shit. I'm out." due to a number of drastic changes here. Now I come back 5 years afterwards to share some personal thoughts about my Internet history and other thoughts roaming in my head on WordPress' new partner in crime. Shuold be interesting...